Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

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So since I've just been on a series of posts speculating about how the changes in his life will impact him and his creations and lies, I want to touch back on how someone noticed it seems like he's having a harder time breathing and keeping his lungs clear. Combine that with the fact that he insists on eating at an aggressive speed, and with an aggressive quantity per bite, as if he were afraid the food would run away any moment. What are the odds he has a serious choking/suffocation scare in the new future? A blockage he could previously clear with some coughing and choking might become a serious life threatening issue if he's struggling to breath and can't generate as much pressure on demand, or keep his airways properly open. There's probably a medical term for it.
Why you dick teasing me like this
 
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It's possible to make a one pan pasta like Jagoff is making but you need to have some precise amounts and the water in question is supposed to all go and practically evaporate by the end. And as Vincenzo says, basil goes in at the end. Literally you take it off the heat, you add your basil and cheese, give it a stir and serve. None of this boiling all that shit together and hope it works.
Stealing recipies is one thing, but stealing them from a shitty instagram style cook like Donal Skehan is something else. He's Irelands cut price Jamie Oliver, a literal own brand imitation of mid 2000's British celebrity chefs, with zero charisma or cooking ability but with friends in Irish state media that kept promoting him. Skehan in turn stole the recipe from Martha Stewart.

In fairness to Jack he actually followed the recipe properly. It's laid out that way, with the basil and cherry tomatoes so it looks nice. Even though it would make more sense to add the ingredients in at different stages.

One pot pasta is bad idea anyway because Pasta needs lots of boiling water, even if it's only for a few minutes, if it cooks in the sauce from raw then it just turns to mush.

The guy who did the reaction Vincenzo, is a bit of an acquired taste, however his Italian recipes are all really easy, you'll rarely need more that a pan for the sauce and pot for the pasta.
 
In fairness to Jack he actually followed the recipe properly. It's laid out that way, with the basil and cherry tomatoes so it looks nice. Even though it would make more sense to add the ingredients in at different stages.
I still really dislike the early mix of oil with dry pasta. I don't even really like it in the boiling water at all. The only thing in the water should be salt. Maybe some other water soluble seasoning.

That said, I have actually seen this type of thing being done by people who aren't utter morons, so it isn't something completely out of left field that Jack just made up on his own.
 
The guy who did the reaction Vincenzo, is a bit of an acquired taste, however his Italian recipes are all really easy, you'll rarely need more that a pan for the sauce and pot for the pasta.
I feel like good authentic Italian cooking is always fairly simplistic which allows more subtle flavors to shine through. It took guidos in America to stuff it with meat, cheese and sugar to get our idea of Italian, and thus decades later, a rotund mutt like Jack thinks he can cook.
 
I still really dislike the early mix of oil with dry pasta. I don't even really like it in the boiling water at all. The only thing in the water should be salt. Maybe some other water soluble seasoning.

That said, I have actually seen this type of thing being done by people who aren't utter morons, so it isn't something completely out of left field that Jack just made up on his own.
Oil in pasta water does nothing, but in the Martha Stewart recipie the water is absorbed by the pasta or boiled off and the oil serves to help cook the cherry tomatoes/onions. If you're like a student though, and you're genuinely stuck for cooking pots. You'd still be better off cooking the onions first, putting them into the plate you're going to be eating from anyway. Then cooking the pasta, throwing the tomatoes and cooked onions with the basil on top.

One of the genuinely good things to come from cooking Tik Tok videos, is that it shows Cherry tomatoes are a great cooking ingredient. They will make a beautiful sauce with just a bit of oil, pasta water and cheese.

I roasted vegetables and chicken thighs for family a while back. Threw a packet of Cherry Tomatoes in a few minutes before everything was done. People (kids especially) were routing through the platter looking for the Tomatoes because they'd kind of explode in you mouth, while covered in salt and chicken juices.
 
It took guidos in America to stuff it with meat, cheese and sugar to get our idea of Italian, and thus decades later, a rotund mutt like Jack thinks he can cook.
If you just make sauce with tomatoes, onions, oregano, salt, olive oil, and nothing else, it's day and night and you will be forever disgusted any time you taste disgusting American "marinara" full of sugar. Onions by themselves add entirely enough sweetness.

I usually add nearly homeopathic levels of sugar (like literally an 1/8th teaspoon for a whole batch or even just a pinch) just to slightly cut the acidity, but not enough to add any flavor of its own.

Starting with that base you can make nearly any tomato-based sauce. My starter is usually just canned San Marzanos, and rather than blend them, I just crush them by hand (and throw out the nasty liquid they come in). (And yes I know most "San Marzanos" you get in the U.S. are of dubious provenance at best but they are still good and have most of the characteristics you want when you want to use that kind of tomato.)
 
If you just make sauce with tomatoes, onions, oregano, salt, olive oil, and nothing else, it's day and night and you will be forever disgusted any time you taste disgusting American "marinara" full of sugar. Onions by themselves add entirely enough sweetness.
I have a love affair with American-Italian food and Marinara to me is an American sauce. You can get the sugar content up by just grating a carrot in very early on, extra onion will work as well, but carrot won't overpower the sauce. Another things that works is jarred red bell peppers.
 
I honestly think him driving to the "meet" with Rob was vanity, and that he was unlicensed at the time. It was likely dangerous as well.

Are there any? I love a good Sloppy Joe, but I can't think of anywhere outside of a cafeteria where you can get one. I remember finding some cowboy chain in CO that specialized in meatloaf, and it was surprisingly gud.
But Sloppy Joes? I don't think I've seen it.
I've seen it a couple times, but it's usually been in a random mom and pop diner type place. Never in a chain, or any of the fast casual type sysco foods stuff Fatty normally finds in strip malls.
 
Just saying spaghetti all'assassina is fucking delicious.
 

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Stealing recipies is one thing, but stealing them from a shitty instagram style cook like Donal Skehan is something else. He's Irelands cut price Jamie Oliver, a literal own brand imitation of mid 2000's British celebrity chefs, with zero charisma or cooking ability but with friends in Irish state media that kept promoting him. Skehan in turn stole the recipe from Martha Stewart.

In fairness to Jack he actually followed the recipe properly. It's laid out that way, with the basil and cherry tomatoes so it looks nice. Even though it would make more sense to add the ingredients in at different stages.

One pot pasta is bad idea anyway because Pasta needs lots of boiling water, even if it's only for a few minutes, if it cooks in the sauce from raw then it just turns to mush.

The guy who did the reaction Vincenzo, is a bit of an acquired taste, however his Italian recipes are all really easy, you'll rarely need more that a pan for the sauce and pot for the pasta.
I wouldn't know as I've never done it before but I've seen recipes for it. As for who he stole it from? Who the hell cares? Jagoff steals recipes from everybody and acts like they're really good even when they're shit. Except when he really fucks up like that three ingredient keto bread he made from tahini, eggs and baking powder. he's gushing about how beautiful it looks and how amazing it is. Then tries it and says it tastes like old gym socks. Which makes you wonder why would he know what those taste like? My guess is it's what Jim Traynor would shove in his mouth when he railed Hammy and Jagoff could only sit there and watch.

I feel like good authentic Italian cooking is always fairly simplistic which allows more subtle flavors to shine through. It took guidos in America to stuff it with meat, cheese and sugar to get our idea of Italian, and thus decades later, a rotund mutt like Jack thinks he can cook.
It was... Mario Batali who once said that the difference in Italy and the US when it comes to pasta is we complicate things and it's more about the sauce over here whereas it's simpler and all about the pasta over there. Dunno how true that actually is but he's way more Italian than I could ever claim to be.

If you just make sauce with tomatoes, onions, oregano, salt, olive oil, and nothing else, it's day and night and you will be forever disgusted any time you taste disgusting American "marinara" full of sugar. Onions by themselves add entirely enough sweetness.

I usually add nearly homeopathic levels of sugar (like literally an 1/8th teaspoon for a whole batch or even just a pinch) just to slightly cut the acidity, but not enough to add any flavor of its own.

Starting with that base you can make nearly any tomato-based sauce. My starter is usually just canned San Marzanos, and rather than blend them, I just crush them by hand (and throw out the nasty liquid they come in). (And yes I know most "San Marzanos" you get in the U.S. are of dubious provenance at best but they are still good and have most of the characteristics you want when you want to use that kind of tomato.)
Add some garlic and replace the oregano for either fresh basil, added at the end, or parsley and that's my go to pasta sauce when I want something fast. Of course I tend to use crushed strained tomatoes because it's even faster and you don't need to cook the tomatoes out. Add half and let that simmer along with the onions, garlic and all that. And then add the pasta to get it all mixed in and then at the last moment you add the rest of the tomatoes just enough to heat it through. Take it off the heat. Add the fresh basil if you're using that and whatever cheese you're using and there you go.

You get the sweetness of the cooked tomatoes and the freshness of the "raw" tomatoes together.

Just saying spaghetti all'assassina is fucking delicious.
Yeah. It is.
 
Just saying spaghetti all'assassina is fucking delicious.
I have looked this up on a few sites and you may have just changed my mind on this concept.

Something I really like about Italian cuisine is how they aren't afraid at all to give their best dishes completely insulting names. Literal murderer's spaghetti. Pasta puttanesca, literally whore pasta. Even marinara is named after mariners, who were generally considered scumbags at the time.
 
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Just saying spaghetti all'assassina is fucking delicious.
You can get a similar result if you get leftover spaghetti in marinara, and fry it with butter in a pan with chilli flakes and a touch of white wine to loosen it up. If you've been drinking, it's the dogs bollocks. Also it's vegetarian so your barely comatose mate who's awkward as fuck will wolf it down.
 
I have a love affair with American-Italian food and Marinara to me is an American sauce. You can get the sugar content up by just grating a carrot in very early on, extra onion will work as well, but carrot won't overpower the sauce. Another things that works is jarred red bell peppers.
I also forgot the real "secret ingredient" for marinara which is anchovy paste, fish sauce, or anything fishy. Capers. Just one or two more ingredients to finish it. Over-complicating the sauce is also really American. You should not run out of fingers counting ingredients.
You can get a similar result if you get leftover spaghetti in marinara, and fry it with butter in a pan with chilli flakes and a touch of white wine to loosen it up. If you've been drinking, it's the dogs bollocks. Also it's vegetarian so your barely comatose mate who's awkward as fuck will wolf it down.
Boiling your next batch of pasta in the water you used for the last one is also good. As is using the water for sauce.
 
Jagoff seems to have trouble unsubscribing from unwanted text messages and emails, as he doesn't know how to reply with "STOP" or click on the "Unsubscribe" link.

It's interesting that he didn't complain about receiving spam on Quora, considering he has an account there. The website is infamous for shitting up your inbox with emails after creating an account to view answers from so-called "experts" like Mushbrain.

Ken, another undercover troll, tries to divert his angy karenpost by bringing up the freeze-dried chicken he made a few months ago and ""promised"" to share a video of.

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I was thinking about this, how different would the responses be if this were Jack's fourth time in detox due to alcohol withdrawal? Jack is addicted to gud fud and it's doing him far more harm than a lifetime of alcohol abuse but nobody says a word.

I guess it's fine as long as he doesn't touch the demon rum?
 
I have looked this up on a few sites and you may have just changed my mind on this concept.

Something I really like about Italian cuisine is how they aren't afraid at all to give their best dishes completely insulting names. Literal murderer's spaghetti. Pasta puttanesca, literally whore pasta. Even marinara is named after mariners, who were generally considered scumbags at the time.
Marinara was originally a quick sauce to serve with the catch of the day. Something that could be made with minimal ingredients and served with fish. It's only later that it got paired with pasta.

As for puttanesca it's what the whores could cook in their rooms with ingredients they happened to have.

A lot of these pasta sauces and styles have stories attached to them.
 
Jagoff seems to have trouble unsubscribing from unwanted text messages and emails, as he doesn't know how to reply with "STOP" or click on the "Unsubscribe" link.

It's interesting that he didn't complain about receiving spam on Quora, considering he has an account there. The website is infamous for shitting up your inbox with emails after creating an account to view answers from so-called "experts" like Mushbrain.

Ken, another undercover troll, tries to divert his angy karenpost by bringing up the freeze-dried chicken he made a few months ago and ""promised"" to share a video of.

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I know its just Jacks usual fucked up wording, but he says "I literally plan to do it right before my stroke". Not Planned to, plan to. Has the Wendigo already scheduled in his next reclamation?

I was thinking about this, how different would the responses be if this were Jack's fourth time in detox due to alcohol withdrawal? Jack is addicted to gud fud and it's doing him far more harm than a lifetime of alcohol abuse but nobody says a word.

I guess it's fine as long as he doesn't touch the demon rum?
Because speaking out against obesity and overeating is a hate crime against whales who identify as women these days. Jacks saved by happenstance in this regard, which is how most lolcows get away with shit. DSP basically makes an entire lifestyle outta gaming edgecases like that.
 
One pot pasta is bad idea anyway because Pasta needs lots of boiling water, even if it's only for a few minutes, if it cooks in the sauce from raw then it just turns to mush.
Agreed one pot pasta is generally a recipe for shit, but it’s a misnomer that you need a lot of water to cook pasta properly. Minimum heat, minimum volume of water and time are the 3 variables to be concerned about.

180 F is the lower threshold of heat for protein in pasta to begin to denature and the starch to begin to absorb water. Amount of water is about 1.8 times in weight of the amount of pasta you want to cook for proper absorption for al dente pasta. Length of time is determined by the shape of pasta so it’s variable (this determines the mush factor). Satisfy the heat and water weight ratio compared to your pasta and you can cook perfect pasta with a 1/2 cup of water….assuming you have a small enough amount of pasta and the proper amount of time for its shape.

Bottom line if you have a sauce that meets the proper amount of excess moisture (water) by weight for the amount of pasta you’re cooking, and it can maintain the heat needed for long enough without turning to garbage itself, then a one pot pasta is achievable. Jack is a moron an wouldn’t understand the science so he can never achieve anything close to decent pasta even with an endless amount of water.

feel like good authentic Italian cooking is always fairly simplistic which allows more subtle flavors to shine through.
It’s not that the cooking is simplistic, it’s usually loaded with flavor and richness but with minimal ingredients used to provide maximum flavor. In authentic Italian cuisine however, the pasta is supposed to be the star and the sauce or accoutrements are there to compliment the pasta. It’s been abortionated over time especially in America where meat, sauce, or whatever other bullshit has become the star and the pasta is the carrier for gluttonous fucks like Jack to cram more of it in their insatiable maw.

Edit: Spoiler Tag
 
I know its just Jacks usual fucked up wording, but he says "I literally plan to do it right before my stroke". Not Planned to, plan to. Has the Wendigo already scheduled in his next reclamation?
Most of his comment replies and gripe posts are speech to text, and he never bothers to go back and correct anything. I'm positive with both legs fucked up that his left hand isn't as capable as it was before Stroko Quatro, so he's probably even less inclined to type properly.
 
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