Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[RL Steinbeck]

New Drinking with Jack: Silly Kitchen Tools. Probably my favorite of the bunch.

 

[14% Loko]

What point is he trying to convey with the bodybuilder donuts analogy? I know his FB posts before this stroke weren't exactly nuggets of wisdom but it's like he's just (barely) one step above unintelligible babbling now.

I assumed it was about Bud Light using a Person of Trans to advertise. Now I'm thinking that doesn't make sense, but what does make sense with this sausage.

 

[breadandcircuses]

So as I promised to talk about my red sauce, but I"m not gonna get way into it.

So... it's sorta simple. I use mire poix (carrots, celery, onion) and get them frying in some olive oil + ghee on my dad's le creuset cast iron dutch oven, add a diced shallot, minced garlic, a couple of tablespoons of tomato paste, and then...

A 28oz can of Tomato Puree and my secret ingredients.

Three dashes of Angostura Bitters
Three glugs of Worcestershire Sauce
A drizzle of balsamic vinegar
And finally, a shot of... drinkable vodka

Then I add a 28oz can of whole san marano tomatoes and I basically let that simmer for the next three hours, then I blitz it with a stick blender, and a half hour before serving, I add some fresh chopped basil and oregano.

It goes on everything. Seafood, pasta, I've served it on steak and chicken.

It's really good. It's really vegetal, too. I have versions where I'll fry up sausage (either sweet or spicy) and add them in with the basil and oregano. It's just really good, I think I really like it on steamed mussels, myself.

 

[p1138]

So as I promised to talk about my red sauce, but I"m not gonna get way into it.

So... it's sorta simple. I use mire poix (carrots, celery, onion) and get them frying in some olive oil + ghee on my dad's le creuset cast iron dutch oven, add a diced shallot, minced garlic, a couple of tablespoons of tomato paste, and then...

A 28oz can of Tomato Puree and my secret ingredients.

Three dashes of Angostura Bitters
Three glugs of Worcestershire Sauce
A drizzle of balsamic vinegar
And finally, a shot of... drinkable vodka

Then I add a 28oz can of whole san marano tomatoes and I basically let that simmer for the next three hours, then I blitz it with a stick blender, and a half hour before serving, I add some fresh chopped basil and oregano.

It goes on everything. Seafood, pasta, I've served it on steak and chicken.

It's really good. It's really vegetal, too. I have versions where I'll fry up sausage (either sweet or spicy) and add them in with the basil and oregano. It's just really good, I think I really like it on steamed mussels, myself.

Fatty mushbrain version:
Carrots, gawrlik, half an onion burned in a small pan. add more gawrlik and onion

Add 1 28 oz jar of prego pasta sauce from the shelf
3 fists of shreddy cheese
2 pounds of undercooked grown beef
1 fist full of red pepper flakes so the wife isn't willing to eat it
pretend to pour in 1 shot of jack daniels, drink pintlgass of jack daniels instead because it has "jack" in the name

continue to stir with wooden spoon every 5-10 minutes, while heating on high for 30. Immediately pour over uncooked pasta, top with shaved parm from a tub bought at the supermarket, immediately inhale a mouthful and complain about how you've just burnt the roof of your mouth. Make sure to get camera shot showing all of the grease pooled up from the 2 pounds of ground beef you didn't drain the fat from, and enjoy.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Some posts from the fat man today. Back to strokeposting on boomerbook as usual. Also I can guarantee HOPE is still having the eternal harness on underneath that blanket:

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I'm assuming the body builder comment is about the troon on the bud lite cans? But I thought Jack didn't drink, why does he care who is marketing a product he supposedly doesn't consume? The analogy doesn't even make sense, what's wrong with a body builder marketing donuts? Does he only want fat men marketing donuts?

And by the same logic, I don't want a 4-stroked 1-limbed meatball selling me "healthy" recipes yet here we are.

 

[DespotCTM]

they remind him of giant penises.

He totally fellated them when Tammy was sleeping at night..and promptly swallowed them whole

 

[Adamska]

ETA FOODJACKS REJOICE:
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Oh that's going to be fun as hell to witness. I can already tell this thing's going to be a horrendous salt bomb. Given his recent obsession with dumping full cans of cream of sodium soup, my guess is this attrocity probably has at least 7k miligrams of salt in it. And you know he's going to eat all of it at once.

I legit was maniacal cackling when I saw this.

 

[Super Hans v2]

The analogy doesn't even make sense, what's wrong with a body builder marketing donuts? Does he only want fat men marketing donuts?

I wouldn't expect a body builder to have ran the gamut of unhealthy foods to correctly determine semi-frozen coffee Oreos to be the best of them. Then again, I wouldn't expect a fatass like Jack to have any standards and rate goyslop anything other than gud.

 

[AnOminous]

It goes on everything. Seafood, pasta, I've served it on steak and chicken.

Congratulations. This is one of those posts in this thread where I'm half-reading it and thinking, this must be one of these shitposts. . .but then after reading it, think wow this sounds like a really good sauce.

I'm definitely going to try this. I even have the Angostura bitters.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

So since I've just been on a series of posts speculating about how the changes in his life will impact him and his creations and lies, I want to touch back on how someone noticed it seems like he's having a harder time breathing and keeping his lungs clear. Combine that with the fact that he insists on eating at an aggressive speed, and with an aggressive quantity per bite, as if he were afraid the food would run away any moment. What are the odds he has a serious choking/suffocation scare in the new future? A blockage he could previously clear with some coughing and choking might become a serious life threatening issue if he's struggling to breath and can't generate as much pressure on demand, or keep his airways properly open. There's probably a medical term for it.

He’s going to choke eating in his sleep or trip and fall down the stairs.

Jack won’t make it through 2024. He will be lucky to make it through 2023. Jack’s expiration date is approaching faster than the rancid fatty chicken that he freeze dried.

This is peak Jack. He will be an asshole to everyone while eating like an asshole at an increasing rate because his cooking show is over. So it’s JOTG for now on.

Null is the angel of death and all of his lolcows he covers on MATI that I like following, they end up dying, imprisoned, or on their way to adding to the 41% troon statistic. He covered Jack back in December and a month later Jack eats a salt mountain of campells luxury soup soaked chicken, and almost immediately enters the final stage of his life as an adult baby asshole.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I'm assuming the body builder comment is about the troon on the bud lite cans? But I thought Jack didn't drink, why does he care who is marketing a product he supposedly doesn't consume? The analogy doesn't even make sense, what's wrong with a body builder marketing donuts? Does he only want fat men marketing donuts?

And by the same logic, I don't want a 4-stroked 1-limbed meatball selling me "healthy" recipes yet here we are.

It doesn't matter if he drinks it or not. It's about combating "wokeness". And he's the type to start drinking Bud Light just so he can say he's stopping because of it.

 

[desudesu]

Fatty tells Jamie Oliver on Twitter that he has “no time to argue” over which oil infusion he uses as he’s “out of the hospital” and back to “””work”””. NIGGA, WHAT WORK DO YOU DO?!

 

[Whaler]

This is peak Jack.

You can't say that man. He's had four heart attacks and keeps going, we won't know what peak Jack is until his heart blows out and the Wendigo fully emerges.

 

[breadandcircuses]

I even have the Angostura bitters.

It's my favorite ingredient and I use it in just about everything.

We even tested it, side by side. It's noticeable when it's missing, but I'll be damned if I knew what it adds.

 

[Nothing To Say Here]

Fatty tells Jamie Oliver on Twitter that he has “no time to argue” over which oil infusion he uses as he’s “out of the hospital” and back to “””work”””. NIGGA, WHAT WORK DO YOU DO?!

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Classic Jack. I assume Jamie is referring to infusions with oil. The reason garlic isn’t listed is because it’s ripe for botulism. What a dumb fat fuck.

Edited for grammar.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Classic Jack. I assume Jamie is referring to infusions with oil. The reason garlic isn’t listed is because it’s ripe for botulism. What a dumb fat fuck.

Edited for grammar.

Which is why it needs to either be heated to kill the spores or you need to add something acidic to the oil to combat it. Both of which change the taste you're trying to achieve.

But it's not like Jagoff needs to care. The salmonella in his body will just overpower the botulism and the Wendigo will make sure that even if he does get infected with it that it will get it's precious meat.

 

[Kosher Salt]

These meat tubes are fucking vile. I always wondered who the hell even eats these things. Apparently Jackhole.

Eh. I mean, it's hamburger. If you make it out of good beef, I kinda feel like you're doing it wrong. It's for the shit that isn't fit to eat otherwise.

I mean, I buy that cheap shit, but I'm rarely making it into burgers, I'm usually putting it in some kind of casserole, or a taco meat concoction (which I usually add a can of kidney beans with chili seasoning). The sort of thing that you'd expect to be just a little bit afraid to know what kind of meat is in it.

And then I'm making it so spicy that you wouldn't be able to eat it, and yes, I know you like "spicy," just trust me on this one... I suppose at this point it'd be kind of futile to say that no, I haven't blown out my taste buds...

Fatty mushbrain version:
Carrots, gawrlik, half an onion burned in a small pan. add more gawrlik and onion

Finely mince carrots and onion into 6-8 big pieces. Add fresh minced garlic to pan, except it's from a jar because we're Jack. Burn, then add big horkin chunks of carrots and onion. Burn until edges are burn and middles are still cruncky. Add jarred tomatoes and other ingredients... only 3 fists of shreddy cheese?

Also you forgot the tasting part at the end where you shovel a giant spoonful of 90% cheese into your mouth and go "mmm! I can really taste the gorwlic! and (CRUNCH) the onion..."

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I mean, I buy that cheap shit, but I'm rarely making it into burgers,

I've always thought that buying one of those chubs would be good for making cheap burgers. I mean they're already round. Just grab a sharp knife, Make a couple cuts, salt & pepper the outside and then grill. Removing the plastic of course.

But I've never been brave enough to want to try it.

 

[Kosher Salt]

I've always thought that buying one of those chubs would be good for making cheap burgers. I mean they're already round. Just grab a sharp knife, Make a couple cuts, salt & pepper the outside and then grill. Removing the plastic of course.

But I've never been brave enough to want to try it.

When I get them I usually cut them into ~1 lb chunks and then freeze. I know it's garbage, but I only paid $1.99/lb for it goddamnit...

Although at the moment, I think all the ground beef in my freezer is "decent" fresh pack ground beef that was on clearance (50% off). That "use or freeze by" date just means it has to be in the freezer...

 

[breadandcircuses]

Also, if you wanna make the sauce a meat sauce, brown up a pound of ground Italian sausage (or ground beef, or both but that would make it very meaty) and add after you blitz the sauce and an hour before serving.