Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[Wesker]

I'm surprised it took him this long to move onto the Vito arc.

Although I'm convinced he was fucking kids all throughout the Jackass years.

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

CPS will never make any public comment on an investigation themselves, all that shit is confidential. But even aside from the sex stuff, we have a young girl who is surrounded by violence and substance abuse, apparently doesn't have a bed to sleep in, and is being exposed to God knows what other chaos Bam hasn't bothered to mention.

Tbh I stopped following the Onision thread after it became obvious that nothing was ever going to be done to help those kids, even after one of them "fell" from a window. But regardless of the all the alogging anons who couldn't help themselves, nothing was seriously looked into by the state until the kid's filthiness & behavior at school was noticed; and it was immediately evident an investigation was done from his very public sperging.

That along with the countless other cases of verifiable neglect & abuse I've seen which have somehow slipped by CPS's attention, has made me pretty jaded about things like the kid caught up in Bam's situation ever being addressed by an appropriate authority.

What gets me though is that because of Bam's fury of self-righteous shade-throwing & threats, he destroyed any remaining privacy that kid had. If her entire peer group & school didn't already know details about her living situation & her mother's habits, they do now.

Edit: If he wasn't such a fucked up retard he could've actually done something to help the girl, but instead he showed up to tard-rage like a cuck about it in person, and then on Twitter or wherever.

 

[Bam_Margeras_Ass_Licker]

I know this bitch is batshit insane, but she gets info.
Bam had court today regarding the restraining order from Daniel Cardenas and the case has been dropped since no one showed up.

 

[Wesker]

I know this bitch is batshit insane, but she gets info.
Bam had court today regarding the restraining order from Daniel Cardenas and the case has been dropped since no one showed up.

Bam can't stop winning.

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

It's a weird goddamn state of affairs when over a decade ago you're playing a dude in a PS2 game and now in the present he's on daytime TV talking about how fucked up his brain is.

Chris Benoit was a popular wrestler and then one day he just killed his family and himself for no apparent reason. One week he had an arena full of people cheering him on with a wife, a kid, and millions in the bank. The next week he strangled his family and hanged himself from a weight machine.

And if Dunn had managed to make it to about 2013 when he could’ve gotten an Uber in West Chester, he might be just as fucked up as Bam. He’d either be with him wasted out of his mind, or beefing with Bam and getting ready for the bareknuckle match. He didn’t quite die a hero (that was only going to happen if he got killed during a stunt) but he was close. Definitely didn’t live long enough to become a bad guy.

Or shit, idk, maybe he would’ve taken a cue from Steve O and gotten sober.

Or Bam could’ve been in the car with Dunn and they’d be nothing more than a “In Loving Memory” in the credits at the end of every barrel-scraping Jackass sequel.

 

[hesaback]

Allegedly bareknuckle is safer than regular boxing because people can hit harder with boxing gloves on. But that’s probably not true. BKFC fights are far more likely to end in a knockout or get called off by the ringside doctor. It’s also pretty common to see fighters throw in the towel when they realize how bad it’s going to be. I think the real reason people want BK is because it requires less training to really fuck someone up.

Source: Study that was commissioned by BKFC to make their baseless claims seem realistic.

I build boxing rings for live shows. Usually boxing, K1 or Muay Thai. Occasionally we get asked to do a bare knuckle fight, usually without hand wraps and have to charge more because of the amount of blood we need to clean off the canvas for the next show.
I've seen a couple of TV events and they are a lot more sanitised than the events I've seen in real life. Knoxville would absolutely batter him as bam would be knackered after 2 rounds.

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

I wish that Knoxville would agree to fight him, but then the ring would be setup with the snakepit trap that made Bam cry in Jackass 3.

 

[Rogowski]

Missy was an anomaly, most of his girlfriends have been trainwrecks almost as big as him.

From what I’ve heard, MTV pulled a lot of strings to make that marriage happen, who knows what kind of incentive they offered.

FUN FACT: The reason there was never another season of Unholy Union is because they had an open offer extended to Bam that was contingent on Missy getting pregnant. For whatever reason it never happened and so the show didn’t go on. Regardless of why it never happened, it was for the best because that hypothetical kid would be way past the point where they only had hatred for Bamuel.

And since this is the one time that Bam has a righteous cause for complaint, he'll milk the situation with all of his tweaker retard strength; and just like with Dunn he'll still be sperging about it ten years from now (if he's still alive). Regardless if he even has a continued relationship with the girl & her mother.

I’m surprised he doesn’t milk these perceived injustices for longer, even if he’s isn’t telling the whole story. For example there was the instance in 2018 when he blamed his relapse on being robbed in Columbia. I’m not saying he didn’t get robbed but everyone in this thread knows he strolled into that shithole rubbing his money in everyone’s face and REEing about how he needs drugs ASAP.

In other news, a firsthand account of the Thai restaurant incident has popped up:
Source: TRUST ME BRO
ETA: I actually believe this, that kid is probably so jaded by now.

I don't really have a dog in this fight but isn't his older brother moderately successful without any issues? I honestly think fame and wealth inside of an addictive personality created Bam.

He’s more successful than Bam in that he managed his money better than him, managed fading into obscurity much more maturely, and isn’t currently a barefooted, homeless, trash goblin drinking white claws in gas station parking lots with strangers.

That being said, at their height Jess and the others were very full of themselves and openly trashed other bands, some while they were on tour with them. This came back to bite them in the ass though because it’s exactly why they have no industry support whatsoever. (probably coupled with being affiliated with Bam isn’t doing them any favors either) He’s also divorced though I’m not sure if it was his fault or hers. Nowadays he fixates on gun control to feel superior on Twitter and is just as bad an enabler as April.

Touring in a van for years with Deron Miller will give you a sense of perspective—that lad will slap the shit out of you if he doesn't like the way you're acting up in his space. Funny how Deron was never involved in bands like Fuckface Unstoppable and Gnarkill, despite absolutely pissing all over that entire clique in terms of actually being able to play, and that whenever Bam was present on a CKY tour Bam travelled separately with his own entourage.

Didn’t Deron leave the band on bad terms? I haven’t followed the band drama as much as the Bam drama but he made a pretty bitter video on IG towards the Margeras after they went on the Nine Club. Unfortunately it was 42-minutes long and being the very definition of TLDW forced me to never watch it. Instead, I let Reddit summarize it for me:

I don’t know all the band drama but there was an incident involving Deron sending an email out describing their new album as being so good it’ll sell like “crack to niggers” or something along those lines and he left the band on bad terms? I know that there was also a lot of animosity in the band due to Bam trademarking the CKY name without telling the band who came up with the name in the first place.

Some other choice quotes from Reddit:

 

[bonified retard]

Does anybody remember an old clip of Bam talking about having sex with Derons wife/gf? I haven't seen it brought up in awhile, but I know he spoke about it. Maybe on an old radio Bam episode.? I'll try to track it down.

 

[Gian-Luca Caluga]

there was an incident involving Deron sending an email out describing their new album as being so good it’ll sell like “crack to niggers”

I mean he's fronting Malevolent Creation these days, so that tracks.

 

[Malory]

That along with the countless other cases of verifiable neglect & abuse I've seen which have somehow slipped by CPS's attention, has made me pretty jaded about things like the kid caught up in Bam's situation ever being addressed by an appropriate authority

“Somehow” = CPS is infamously underfunded with notoriously underpaid and burnt out case workers.

This shouldn’t be shocking to anyone who is 1. American, and 2. Not a literal child

 

[Fareal]

“Somehow” = CPS is infamously underfunded with notoriously underpaid and burnt out case workers.

This shouldn’t be shocking to anyone who is 1. American, and 2. Not a literal child

There's an old(ish) US PSA floating around youtube which contains some horrifying statistic that in over 80% of domestic homicides, at least one child was present in the room or the neighbouring room when the homicide occurred. The children of domestic homicide victims have usually watched their mother die.
We have a really weirdly high tolerance in first world countries for the level of shit we will allow kids to be wilfully exposed to. Kids who are removed on child protection grounds, even if they themselves have not been physically abused, have invariably seen some of the most fucked up shit imaginable happen in their house, or the houses they have been left in.
I am in no way surprised Jessica is being allowed to drag Isabelle from crack house to crack house, but I also completely understand the reaction of most folk being 'why the fuck is this being allowed to happen'.

 

[Ita Mori]

I mean he's fronting Malevolent Creation these days, so that tracks.

Most based band since 1995.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

There's an old(ish) US PSA floating around youtube which contains some horrifying statistic that in over 80% of domestic homicides, at least one child was present in the room or the neighbouring room when the homicide occurred. The children of domestic homicide victims have usually watched their mother die.
We have a really weirdly high tolerance in first world countries for the level of shit we will allow kids to be wilfully exposed to. Kids who are removed on child protection grounds, even if they themselves have not been physically abused, have invariably seen some of the most fucked up shit imaginable happen in their house, or the houses they have been left in.
I am in no way surprised Jessica is being allowed to drag Isabelle from crack house to crack house, but I also completely understand the reaction of most folk being 'why the fuck is this being allowed to happen'.

I assure you the shit kids are exposed to in second and third world countries is just as bad or far worse.

Domestic violence is far from a first world issue, but it’s actually legal or acceptable to beat your wife and kids in many other countries outside the west. At least in the first world we have laws against it.

Child abuse only became recognized as a thing in the west about 150 years ago. Until then most of the world viewed children as little more than chattel you could treat however you pleased, this is still true in many countries.

 

[Gian-Luca Caluga]

Most based band since 1995.

Shame they only ever wrote one good song after Retribution ('The Will To Kill', which was basically just them going "look at how fast our drummer is".)

Deron Miller used to have this party trick on CKY tours, where people in the crowd could shout out any Florida death metal song and he'd play a riff from it. Dude has his issues (see: slapping the shit out of people) but he's got legit death metal chops. Of course, that meant you'd get metal autists like me shouting for 'Hung, Drawn and Quartered' because teeeeechnically it counts as Glen Benton sang on it.

Anyway, enough tangents about stupid growly bands, let's get back to laughing at Bam's Tramp Arc. If he was English, he'd be that bloke who's waiting outside the offy at 6am to buy a pack of Kestrel Super.

 

[Fareal]

I assure you the shit kids are exposed to in second and third world countries is just as bad or far worse.

Domestic violence is far from a first world issue, but it’s actually legal or acceptable to beat your wife and kids in many other countries outside the west. At least in the first world we have laws against it.

Child abuse only became recognized as a thing in the west about 150 years ago. Until then most of the world viewed children as little more than chattel you could treat however you pleased, this is still true in many countries.

Trust me, it wasn't a comment upholding the great treatment of women and children in countries outside the third world. I do not live in ignorance.

But our weird wypipo tolerance for kids being exposed to IRL violence, drug abuse, sexual activity etc in developed nations sits weirdly with societies that put little Parental Advisory stickers on Flo Rida albums, and hands out 18 ratings to video games about zombies.

It's almost like pearl clutching is fine as long as it doesn't involve the costs of properly funding a child protection system.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Trust me, it wasn't a comment upholding the great treatment of women and children in countries outside the third world. I do not live in ignorance.

But our weird wypipo tolerance for kids being exposed to IRL violence, drug abuse, sexual activity etc in developed nations sits weirdly with societies that put little Parental Advisory stickers on Flo Rida albums, and hands out 18 ratings to video games about zombies.

It's almost like pearl clutching is fine as long as it doesn't involve the costs of properly funding a child protection system.

Those parent advisory stickers and 18 ratings are for parents who care about their own kids or kids of their own social class - not all kids.

Spoiler

Taking care of kids is a lot of work and there are not nearly enough kind hearted people out there willing to take on the rearing of strangers’ (damaged) offspring. Sadly the best option for most kids is to stay with the shitty bio parent, instead of get thrown into foster care.

The world has never really had a system to deal with shitty parents until the later 20th century. We had orphanages where parents could surrender their children and reformatories to lock up the kids from bad homes. Until the 1950’s in the west your options were orphanages, reform school or running away from shitty parents as soon as you were able too. If you ever listen to stories about missing kids (pre-1990) people seem mystified that cops always think that kids that go missing ran away and that’s because gtfo of a shitty home was a bog standard option for most kids until the last 30-40 years.

 

[AskeDead]

I mean he's fronting Malevolent Creation these days, so that tracks.

they breed....

 

[Idiot Asshole]

Most based band since 1995.

Sorry to burst your bubble grandpa but Arghoslent released their first album in 1998.

I mean he's fronting Malevolent Creation these days, so that tracks.

My favorite MA anecdote is when the sole constant member, Phil Fasciana, did an interview with Bill Zebub in the mid 2000s and they spent the entire interview shittalking each other and calling each other niggers. Bill Zeebub also apparently printed another interview he did with him years prior where he decorated the pages of the zine with swastikas just to fuck with him, which started the "feud".

 

[Rogowski]

Bam is back in PA it seems


This is either the turning point or the beginning of the end. At least Rake is hanging out though: