💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 904 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,558
Marisa said:
jack's cookbook is almost definitely going to be a collection made entirely of those recipes found on soup cans and boxed cake mixes
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He will do this, but the problem is these back-of-box recipes are tried and tested. This will not do, Jack will need to put a "twist." This twist will make the food inedible or downright unsafe. It's gonna be great.

Semi-related, but in watching his cooking videos, I don't know why he doesn't use the blanket of cheese method. Cover the casserole abomination with a shitload of cheese, put in a hot oven til brown and bubbly. It's the laziest and most calorie-laden way to make food appealing. You'd think he'd be all over it.
 
Uh Oh Stinky said:
He will do this, but the problem is these back-of-box recipes are tried and tested. This will not do, Jack will need to put a "twist." This twist will make the food inedible or downright unsafe. It's gonna be great.

Semi-related, but in watching his cooking videos, I don't know why he doesn't use the blanket of cheese method. Cover the casserole abomination with a shitload of cheese, put in a hot oven til brown and bubbly. It's the laziest and most calorie-laden way to make food appealing. You'd think he'd be all over it.
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That requires thinking about the situation on Jack's part, something he doesn't have.
 
This thread as well as the creature it pertains to disgusts me with it's each update. That said, the recipes shared as well as the insights on things as simple as the origins of dish names has made this worth enduring. Some of you are alright.
 
If Jack makes a cookbook will it include actual measurements of how much unhealthy stuff he dumps in, or will all that occur "off camera" and he'll lie about how much he puts in?
 
You guys are extrapolating how the cookbook will turn out but forgotten that Jagoff literally gave the best example with his really short-lived stint (due to DA HADURS) on the Whisk website!
His recipe instructions literally was "Combining with Jack":
1. Add [ingredient]
2. Add [seasoning]
3. Put on stove
4. Serve

I wish I had some of the screenshots before he DFE'd the Whisk page when Foodjacks raided it.
 
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Honestly, I think you're all being mighty optimistic assuming that he will get any further into the process of making a cookbook than just saying "I'm gonna make a cookbook". If anything ever makes it to print I will eat my own hat.
 
Re: Firehouse filled with shurgur: That explains why Jack is going there. He likes things to be disgustingly sweet.

Re: Guga making a weird tryhard recipe and having it turn out shit - I actually respect that. Instead of saying it was gud, he admitted he fucked up. Sometimes you take a swing and miss.

Guga has talked about how a lot of his recipes are out of the reach of the common person, and how it's hard to stick to just one lane of content. He's doing the experiments because he likes trying new things.

Jack's defense for stealing recipes was that Tammy did it. I think I linked the video the last time it came up, but I don't have it bookmarked.
 
Goddamnit, you guys are hilarious re: the yet-to-be-published Jackbook. My fucking sides…

That Firehouse Subs video first made me think that Jack is either trolling, or genuinely enjoys tempting fate. But then I realized how gratuitous those takes are- Jack is a fucking addict, pure and simple. Food is to Jack what gambling was to Colonel Tom Parker. What unsafe sex was to Kenboy. What [redacted] was to [name] on Intervention. They’ll keep chasing that high until they die, or their vice directly kills them. And that’s it. Jack’s case is *that* simple.

What’s also funny is that while reading this thread, I saw a massive, box truck ambulance roll past on the street. Its livery featured “Bariatric Unit” very prominently on the side. I, almost involuntarily, let out an audible YECCCH.
 
Eljudnir said:
I disagree for the reason that all beef has trim. And all cows have some absolute shit cuts like London Broil that a lot of butchers agree should only be turned into ground, at best, with other trimmings and fat.
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That horrible cut is actually pretty much only tolerable as its namesake, London Broil. I don't even think it's good ground. Its one other use is as jerky. Some people say you can substitute eye of round for chuck but this is complete bullshit.
ZipDisk said:
Re: Guga making a weird tryhard recipe and having it turn out shit - I actually respect that. Instead of saying it was gud, he admitted he fucked up. Sometimes you take a swing and miss.
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That's sort of the Guga meta. It's empirical, just try something out, maybe it's an incredibly weird recipe, see what happens, have a blind taste test. I have both picked up "this one weird tip" and "don't even think of trying this" from the show.

If I ever try dry-aging stuff, I'll definitely look at some of their more unorthodox methods.
Pig Cups said:
What’s also funny is that while reading this thread, I saw a massive, box truck ambulance roll past on the street. Its livery featured “Bariatric Unit” very prominently on the side. I, almost involuntarily, let out an audible YECCCH.
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Tfw even the ambulance taking you to the hospital has a sign saying "FAT FUCK ONBOARD" on it.
Octopi said:
If anything ever makes it to print I will eat my own hat.
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That would probably be more appetizing than anything Jack has ever cooked.
 
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Guga is rich, he's not doing the youtuber "I'm filming this in my 1br apartment" larp that many tubers do. He admits he's got money.
I liked the episode where he broke his wife's stand mixer and was like "Fuck, better buy a new one before she gets home, or I'm dead."

I vaguely recall my dad making some decent london broil dinners, but he absolutely had to fight with the fat. I didn't inherit his cooking talent at all.

Ah, I just googled it, dad was making a dish called london broil. It's actually flank cut.
Dad would make that, veggie pairing, and then we'd watch TNG.

Part of why I hate Jack is that my dad came from an abusive upbringing and was always very careful raising me, not wanting to perpetuate the violence.

And Jack ate food right of his son's plate, guaranteeing that his son would be utterly fucked in the head for life. Junior didn't have to become Junior, but with that upbringing, the faggotry was inevitable.
 
ZipDisk said:
Ah, I just googled it, dad was making a dish called london broil. It's actually flank cut.
Dad would make that, veggie pairing, and then we'd watch TNG.
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It's a number of cuts, mostly round. My mom used to be able to salvage eye of round by making London broil with it. It was actually good, the only thing I've ever had where this abysmal cut was good. At the same time, I love chuck. The textures are fairly similar but chuck is very savory and improves with braising.
 
His bum eye is really cracking me up.
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