Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

get you cookbook!

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It will be funny when there's a class action lawsuit against him for people getting salmonella from his recipes

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

"Jack's" cookbook is just going to be page after page of recipes he printed off various websites.

 

[Sonic T]

"Jack's" cookbook is just going to be page after page of recipes he printed off various websites.

They'll be off center photocopies of home inkjet printouts, complete with the URL and "Page 1 of 4" up on top.

 

[Simon]

They'll be off center photocopies of home inkjet printouts, complete with the URL and "Page 1 of 4" up on top.

And [obj] [obj] everywhere

 

[ZipDisk]

Re: Firehouse filled with shurgur: That explains why Jack is going there. He likes things to be disgustingly sweet.

Re: Guga making a weird tryhard recipe and having it turn out shit - I actually respect that. Instead of saying it was gud, he admitted he fucked up. Sometimes you take a swing and miss.

Guga has talked about how a lot of his recipes are out of the reach of the common person, and how it's hard to stick to just one lane of content. He's doing the experiments because he likes trying new things.

Jack's defense for stealing recipes was that Tammy did it. I think I linked the video the last time it came up, but I don't have it bookmarked.

 

[Pig Cups]

Goddamnit, you guys are hilarious re: the yet-to-be-published Jackbook. My fucking sides…

That Firehouse Subs video first made me think that Jack is either trolling, or genuinely enjoys tempting fate. But then I realized how gratuitous those takes are- Jack is a fucking addict, pure and simple. Food is to Jack what gambling was to Colonel Tom Parker. What unsafe sex was to Kenboy. What [redacted] was to [name] on Intervention. They’ll keep chasing that high until they die, or their vice directly kills them. And that’s it. Jack’s case is *that* simple.

What’s also funny is that while reading this thread, I saw a massive, box truck ambulance roll past on the street. Its livery featured “Bariatric Unit” very prominently on the side. I, almost involuntarily, let out an audible YECCCH.

 

[AnOminous]

I disagree for the reason that all beef has trim. And all cows have some absolute shit cuts like London Broil that a lot of butchers agree should only be turned into ground, at best, with other trimmings and fat.

That horrible cut is actually pretty much only tolerable as its namesake, London Broil. I don't even think it's good ground. Its one other use is as jerky. Some people say you can substitute eye of round for chuck but this is complete bullshit.

Re: Guga making a weird tryhard recipe and having it turn out shit - I actually respect that. Instead of saying it was gud, he admitted he fucked up. Sometimes you take a swing and miss.

That's sort of the Guga meta. It's empirical, just try something out, maybe it's an incredibly weird recipe, see what happens, have a blind taste test. I have both picked up "this one weird tip" and "don't even think of trying this" from the show.

If I ever try dry-aging stuff, I'll definitely look at some of their more unorthodox methods.

What’s also funny is that while reading this thread, I saw a massive, box truck ambulance roll past on the street. Its livery featured “Bariatric Unit” very prominently on the side. I, almost involuntarily, let out an audible YECCCH.

Tfw even the ambulance taking you to the hospital has a sign saying "FAT FUCK ONBOARD" on it.

If anything ever makes it to print I will eat my own hat.

That would probably be more appetizing than anything Jack has ever cooked.

 

[ZipDisk]

Guga is rich, he's not doing the youtuber "I'm filming this in my 1br apartment" larp that many tubers do. He admits he's got money.
I liked the episode where he broke his wife's stand mixer and was like "Fuck, better buy a new one before she gets home, or I'm dead."

I vaguely recall my dad making some decent london broil dinners, but he absolutely had to fight with the fat. I didn't inherit his cooking talent at all.

Ah, I just googled it, dad was making a dish called london broil. It's actually flank cut.
Dad would make that, veggie pairing, and then we'd watch TNG.

Part of why I hate Jack is that my dad came from an abusive upbringing and was always very careful raising me, not wanting to perpetuate the violence.

And Jack ate food right of his son's plate, guaranteeing that his son would be utterly fucked in the head for life. Junior didn't have to become Junior, but with that upbringing, the faggotry was inevitable.

 

[AnOminous]

Ah, I just googled it, dad was making a dish called london broil. It's actually flank cut.
Dad would make that, veggie pairing, and then we'd watch TNG.

It's a number of cuts, mostly round. My mom used to be able to salvage eye of round by making London broil with it. It was actually good, the only thing I've ever had where this abysmal cut was good. At the same time, I love chuck. The textures are fairly similar but chuck is very savory and improves with braising.

 

[Woggie's child bride]

Don't forget The ACTUAL Winner Frozen Coffee Brisket Church Chili.

That one is a recipe that separates the boys from the Foodjacks. Not everyone has the patience or the balls to freeze-age a brisket for two years just to make some chili.

 

[Pig Cups]

His bum eye is really cracking me up.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Wasn't he complaining about his diet at the home not being diabetic-friendly?
Firehouse Subs is certainly not good for keto

 

[AnOminous]

His bum eye is really cracking me up.

His brain damage is visible on his face. How much of his brain is even neurons at this point? I think most of it is fat and lesions.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

OFC Jack goes and gets a TRIPLE stack sub for his first video outside of the nursing home. TBH a good and natural progression for his channel would be for him to be like "Hey, I just had a stroke, but I want to eat some tasty food, so here's a review of the new Caesar salad from Panera". But Jack gotta Jack and stuff mounds of sweet meat into his barely functional mouth.

@Pig Cups is right, this guy is an addict, plain and simple. He's like the guy that gets out of rehab and says he can just have beer.

 

[Whaler]

If Jack makes a cookbook will it include actual measurements of how much unhealthy stuff he dumps in, or will all that occur "off camera" and he'll lie about how much he puts in?

"You're going to use a quarter cup of cheese and just lightly coat the top of the lasagna with it" while the end result picture has about three inches of melted cheese on top of the whole thing.

That horrible cut is actually pretty much only tolerable as its namesake, London Broil. I don't even think it's good ground. Its one other use is as jerky. Some people say you can substitute eye of round for chuck but this is complete bullshit.

Anybody who says that should be banned from cooking and dragged to The Hague.

 

[Asperchewy]

The absolute Madman actually filmed a JOTG fresh out of daycare starting with that meal... .

Oh and a cookbook? I'll be adding that to my Lolcow collection if he gets Tammy to make it a reality.

 

[AnOminous]

@Pig Cups is right, this guy is an addict, plain and simple. He's like the guy that gets out of rehab and says he can just have beer.

He's more like the kind of guy who gets out of rehab and immediately shoots up a speedball out of pure heroin and coke.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I've been thinking about it, but between Jack and the Death fats who are intentionally doing this for some perverted shit, the latter has more dignity than Jack since at least they have more self awareness than Mr. "4 strokes but Jesus will heal me!"

 

[The Early 2000s]

New vid is up. Don't get too excited; it looks like a vid he done pre-stroke

Post-Watch edit: so you know that shitty powder that hotels make their scrambled eggs from? Jack did that, as a way to preserve eggs for an 'upcoming egg shortage'.

 

[stets]

So how much longer until Jack turns into full blown Mobility Mary while driving around on his retard scooter?