Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[NoReturn]

i saw "neo pagan" in the thread title and expected to find long haired bearded men who listen to viking metal and wear little mjolnir amulets, cause i knew a few guys like that a while ago and they really liked talking about wotan, frey, surt, jormungand, yggdrasil and all that stuff.
boy was i wrong. this is so much worse holy shit.

That's why we had to split it off and operate this thread differently than the other one. This is "pagans on the internet" for a reason.

Female autism before social media, genderspecialness and critical theory. Just a chubby girl sperging about poetry and dragons.

Embrace tradition

View attachment 5002228

Yeah, this one is harmless. I hope she grew up to be happy and normal-ish.

Ah yes, the trans can...time travel
Only 41% though
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I just posted a bunch of these the other day in the reddit thread, but fuckit. Again.

I mean I consider this Ukrainian display extremely larping but at least the Ukrainian Nazi Ultra nationalist pagans at least somewhat believe in something unlike these people who use this as a substitute for having a personality or anything interesting going on in their lives

Stop. Being. Fat.
I'd take your "über-cool totes a real pagan" schtick more seriously if you looked like your belief system actually encouraged you to practice self-control and cultivation.

 

[Yaks]

Stop. Being. Fat.
I'd take your "über-cool totes a real pagan" schtick more seriously if you looked like your belief system actually encouraged you to practice self-control and cultivation.

Or went outside and actually learned about their local flora and fauna, be closer to "nature" like a lot of them say. They just buy whatever correspondence shit they found on a list online, "witchy" decor from Target and Etsy, get some washi tape, and now they're a full honest to god witch.

Funny enough the first video I clicked on for a haul had both, plus the dollar tree, as is tradition. Because nothing says "I'm one with the universe and nature" like $1 tat from dollar tree, instead of maybe getting something nice and long lasting from a thrift store with a little soul in it. Funny enough she bought a $15 candle from Target to do a money spell.. Then another $120 on etsy shit. (Based on what she got I think she over paid.)

It's incredibly inoffensive as far as online pagans go, but this is what they all do. Every damn one. Spirituality and soul searching is dead.
The term "witchy" to describe things is starting to get to me..

 

[Coffee Druid]

Female autism before social media, genderspecialness and critical theory. Just a chubby girl sperging about poetry and dragons.

Embrace tradition

View attachment 5002228

This girl reads like me as a teen if I was even more socially awkward. I'd love to have her as a dorky, but sweet friend. I long for people who meet at the intersection of "fantasy nerds, avid book readers, and renn Faire regulars" but they just don't make them the same anymore. I remember stumbling across sites like these when I was a middle schooler looking up pagan sites because I found it interesting. Even then the sites were often long inactive. A simpler time.

Or went outside and actually learned about their local flora and fauna, be closer to "nature" like a lot of them say. They just buy whatever correspondence shit they found on a list online, "witchy" decor from Target and Etsy, get some washi tape, and now they're a full honest to god witch.

Funny enough the first video I clicked on for a haul had both, plus the dollar tree, as is tradition. Because nothing says "I'm one with the universe and nature" like $1 tat from dollar tree, instead of maybe getting something nice and long lasting from a thrift store with a little soul in it. Funny enough she bought a $15 candle from Target to do a money spell.. Then another $120 on etsy shit. (Based on what she got I think she over paid.)

It's incredibly inoffensive as far as online pagans go, but this is what they all do. Every damn one. Spirituality and soul searching is dead.
The term "witchy" to describe things is starting to get to me..

I keep saying I'm not quite a druid like my username says, but I enjoy the thought of learning more about nature and plants, and appreciating/observing the seasons as they change and move. That would be valuable. But i agree with what you said about the correspondences. I roll my eyes when I see "this herb or crystal represents (completely unrelated abstract quality)". Many herbs do have health effects (though often small or possibly useless/harmless), and some crystals have real uses (like in radios). But most of it it pure made up woo.

 

[Yaks]

I remember stumbling across sites like these when I was a middle schooler looking up pagan sites because I found it interesting. Even then the sites were often long inactive. A simpler time.

My favorite I ran into on the early internet was someone posting about how to find faeries and their experiences with the magical creatures of the forest. They would take photos and do, what I assume now, is shitty MSPaint edits to better show what they had seen in the woods. I remember one catching my imagination the most still, it was about running into a black smoke creature hiding behind a tree, which they tossed an apple to as an offering to eat. I wish I could find it on the wayback machine, but I'd have no idea where to even start.

I keep saying I'm not quite a druid like my username says, but I enjoy the thought of learning more about nature and plants, and appreciating/observing the seasons as they change and move.

If you're interested in that stuff, a fun starter book I ran into a while back by Tristan Gooley called "Natural Navigation - The Lost Art of Reading Nature's Signs" might be fun for you. He also did two other books, "How to Read Nature" and "How to Read Water".

I roll my eyes when I see "this herb or crystal represents (completely unrelated abstract quality)".

They never stop to think where these ideas might have came from either. It's what everyone else says, so it must be true. I do give props to the ones I occasionally see who toss all that out and decide to find out the history of their local plants and rocks. That's the way you should do it imo, not importing some rare resin from a gum tree gathered by sweaty third world country peasants.

Thread tax that gave me a giggle. I need to do some research on these The Fae people.

 

[NoReturn]

Thread content:

But this video is from 2021! Is she still a witch now the fad's over?

Spoiler: The answer

Nope!

Another older video (2021).

How about this one? Is she still practicing?

Spoiler

Nope! Hasn't even posted a video since 2022.

And this one?

Spoiler

Somehow worse than a witch.

I keep saying I'm not quite a druid like my username says, but I enjoy the thought of learning more about nature and plants, and appreciating/observing the seasons as they change and move.

Join us in the gardening threads in general and in beauty parlor's off-topic board.

Many herbs do have health effects (though often small or possibly useless/harmless),

You might be surprised! I love learning about this stuff, and I've run a lot of experiments myself and some stuff does legitimately work very well not just for health things, but for practical purposes as well (e.g. This came up recently in the BP-plants thread, but you can use pothos cuttings to root other plants).

If you're interested in that stuff, a fun starter book I ran into a while back by Tristan Gooley called "Natural Navigation - The Lost Art of Reading Nature's Signs" might be fun for you. He also did two other books, "How to Read Nature" and "How to Read Water".

I found the first one to be more Euro-centered, but not bad at all. I'd still recommend looking for books for your local region, though, if you can find them.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

But this video is from 2021! Is she still a witch now the fad's over?

Too bad she couldn't drop some of that weight like she dropped her fake religious convictions.

 

[Yaks]

I found the first one to be more Euro-centered, but not bad at all. I'd still recommend looking for books for your local region, though, if you can find them.

Yeah that's the hard part. A lot of the ones I find now are generic for a large geographical region (South West, North West, Midwest) and aren't specific to a state or smaller country anymore. Some are, but they seem to be a lot harder to find than they used to be.

love learning about this stuff, and I've run a lot of experiments myself and some stuff does legitimately work very well not just for health things, but for practical purposes as well

Make document of your findings please.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Yeah that's the hard part. A lot of the ones I find now are generic for a large geographical region (South West, North West, Midwest) and aren't specific to a state or smaller country anymore. Some are, but they seem to be a lot harder to find than they used to be.

Check with your local forestry service or your state Parks department, it's literally their job to catalog and print this stuff. They'll have something for you and if they don't they'll most likely be willing to point you in the right direction. I've worked with a number of different forestry services and they've always been generally good people.

 

[Coffee Druid]

Thread content:
View attachment 5032095
But this video is from 2021! Is she still a witch now the fad's over?

Spoiler: The answer

Nope!
View attachment 5032119

Another older video (2021).
View attachment 5032125
How about this one? Is she still practicing?

Spoiler

Nope! Hasn't even posted a video since 2022.

View attachment 5032128
And this one?

Spoiler

Somehow worse than a witch.
View attachment 5032131

Join us in the gardening threads in general and in beauty parlor's off-topic board.


You might be surprised! I love learning about this stuff, and I've run a lot of experiments myself and some stuff does legitimately work very well not just for health things, but for practical purposes as well (e.g. This came up recently in the BP-plants thread, but you can use pothos cuttings to root other plants).


I found the first one to be more Euro-centered, but not bad at all. I'd still recommend looking for books for your local region, though, if you can find them.

Oh, I don't deny that herbs and plants can be effective. It's one of the aspects of nature I'd love to learn. But I would want to do my research well. Some remedies do work for minor ailments and symptoms, but sometimes modern medicine (often derived from those plants extracts) may be better. It's a fine balance. I'm a sporadic poster in the gardening thread, and in the foraging thread. I've even found a naturalist society in my region I could try joining one of these days. But I won't go too off topic in here, I'll check out the other nature threads more.

You still see these sorts around but they've largely been outnumbered by the super predators that are the "Witch" communities. Many of these metalhead dudes got slapped with the nazi label because they're white and HITLERRRRR.

There's some posts about just these kinds of pagans in the thread but they're far less prone to plastering their activity over social media.

The "norse=metalhead nazi" is funny to me because I've seen quite a few groups that swing very left. The kind who say Loki is a gender fluid icon and boast in their posts about how ban-happy they are towards bigots (anyone with a slightly dissenting opinion). I've seen a few that are just normal down to earth pagan peeps who get together on holidays to have mead and put together a little ritual circle. It takes all types.

 

[Agarathium1066]

The "norse=metalhead nazi" is funny to me because I've seen quite a few groups that swing very left. The kind who say Loki is a gender fluid icon and boast in their posts about how ban-happy they are towards bigots (anyone with a slightly dissenting opinion). I've seen a few that are just normal down to earth pagan peeps who get together on holidays to have mead and put together a little ritual circle. It takes all types.

(Wouldn't let me reply properly)

I've had my own experiences with the same, you can get a lot of really different people who all claim or have some vague connection to 'pagan' activities. Some are very chill and really just view it as a small facet of their lives whereas the sorts you see posted in this thread that claim the gods are feminist power fantasy supporting, genderfluid, white people hating insanity. I've a vague familiarity with a 'temple' that VERY quickly grabbed hold of the leftist crazy train and went from.. you know. Actual pagan focused activities and that sort've fellowship to 'gender confirming rituals'. Natch it was when it got infected by one of the long term visitors trading his pants for a skirt.

Met some who seem the type of rednecks that would kill you for trespassing and use you for pigfeed who also are very serious about it. The world and the people in it are fucking weird.

 

[NoReturn]

The term "witchy" to describe things is starting to get to me..

Wanna get a yeast infection fast?

 

[Ophelia]

“I like moons and black eyeliner! So witchy!”

 

[Yaks]

This one is literally just everything in the teen section at walmart.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

I was looking on youtube to see if there was an audiobook of the Neverending Story and found one narration that is actually pretty well done, very commendable.

Some comments on each chapter seemed a bit odd and the channel turned out to be a trove of fairy autism.



If you want to go to fairyland and meet some gnomes here's the tutorial.

Step one is literally to go out and touch grass, at least you'd be going out and catching some sunlight. So renaissance faire dorks with oddball beliefs but still better than non-binary witchtokers hexing the patriarchy. The songs are also nice.

 

[Yaks]

I was looking on youtube to see if there was an audiobook of the Neverending Story and found one narration that is actually pretty well done, very commendable.

Some comments on each chapter seemed a bit odd and the channel turned out to be a trove of fairy autism.

View attachment 5058987

If you want to go to fairyland and meet some gnomes here's the tutorial.

Step one is literally to go out and touch grass, at least you'd be going out and catching some sunlight. So renaissance faire dorks with oddball beliefs but still better than non-binary witchtokers hexing the patriarchy. The songs are also nice.

I skipped forward to the "how to unlock fairyland" part of the 3 hour tutorial and within the first few minutes he says "you need to tap into your imagination" because the fairys talk to you there. This is just really intense make believe.

This music is nice. I bet he gets lots of weird renfair girl with butterfly tattoo poon.

EDIT: The chick in that video is a starseed and has an entire channel about it

 

[DumbDude43]

he says "you need to tap into your imagination" because the fairys talk to you there. This is just really intense make believe.

well what else did you expect from a "how to talk to faeries" video lel
at least the guy is somewhat honest about it

 

[Yaks]

well what else did you expect from a "how to talk to faeries" video lel
at least the guy is somewhat honest about it

It's funny because it's a weird in between of being honest, but also going one step further and deciding that yes, you're actually performing interdenominational travel when you use your imagination.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

"you need to tap into your imagination" because the fairys talk to you there. This is just really intense make believe.

Well yes, misticism involves daydreaming until the electric pokemon hedhehogs become real to you. The astral travel and goetia people are very similar, not to mention their sadder cousins, the waifuist and tulpamancers.

The girl's channel is pretty wacky, she also has a music one thats pretty small. Wonder what the water priestess confluence event consisted on.

 

[Ophelia]

but also going one step further and deciding that yes, you're actually performing interdenominational travel when you use your imagination.

Chris does this, except he thinks he’s got a rare skill almost no one else has.

 

[Forgotten Specter]

I feel like its weird for them to call this witchcraft when it is calling upon the Christian god. also, "just normal holy water"
I also found this

I find the fan fictioning of what were once (and some still are) serious religious practices so interesting. It seems like this person just identifies with underdogs and projects that onto stories of demons that they have heard of.

it also seems weird that this person who is obsessed with demons would also give a shit about Judaism but sjws gonna sjw I guess