Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[boxybum]

To think Jack felt the full force of a stroke. The pain which he said was unpleasant and had to stay in the hospital for months. Only to immediately go back to eating fast food. The main thing that caused him to have a stroke in the first place is mind-boggling. A normal human would attempt to reduce sodium to zero and start dieting? Did the doctors really recommend he eats salty bacon and high cholesterol foods? He truly has a death wish that for some reason has not been granted.

 

[AnOminous]

Its like as if God was really trying to hammer the facts down, but really its just Jacks horrible diet and his incessant need to consume shit because he feels so insecure as a fat manlet and has no use to society or his family.

I wonder if he survives #5, what idiotic excuse he'll make for it happening other than that he's just a lazy fat fuck who will not stop eating garbage like a hog at a trough all day long.

 

[AskeDead]

maybe he finally kicked the bucket this time

 

[Big Dogs Gonna Eat]

It has probably already been posted but the lack of word had me dig a little bit and on his mobile website he really just added a soyjack

If I didn't know better sometimes I'd really think this is an intentional troll.

 

[Octopi]

Few remember the legend of Techpriest. Promise not to eat your hat, or you will be hounded every post until you do so.

OK, addendum: if he ever gets round to actually making a cookbook I will cook and consume every single recipe in it.

If this silence continues, the hat bet might have been safe anyway, though...

 

[biggacracka]

It has probably already been posted but the lack of word had me dig a little bit and on his mobile website he really just added a soyjack

If I didn't know better sometimes I'd really think this is an intentional troll.
View attachment 5063949

inb4 Jack does a 180 and reveal it was just an elaborate troll with a fat suit and makeup

 

[Whaler]

Jack makes it worse in this case as he is actively making his situation worse whether he knows it or not

Oh, he knows it, he just doesn't care. Everyday is proof of that. I find it hard to believe that his doctor told him they don't know what caused the stroke and it wasn't his life style all four times.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

If Jack is indeed dead, I hope we find another shitty Youtube cook with a shitty personality to laugh at

 

[Aunt Carol]

He's gotta divide it into the main 4 food groups, salmonella, e. coli, botulism, and clostridium

Botulism is a clostridium, though. Is this like how tomatoes are a biological fruit but a culinary vegetable?

 

[V4L_Penis]

If Jack is indeed dead, I hope we find another shitty Youtube cook with a shitty personality to laugh at

It’s gonna be hard to find another cow like Jack. He’s got the exact mix of deep lore, plainly obvious retardation and boomer/amerimutt stereotypes all in a package that’s easy to just laugh at without sperging out about it.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

It’s gonna be hard to find another cow like Jack. He’s got the exact mix of deep lore, plainly obvious retardation and boomer/amerimutt stereotypes all in a package that’s easy to just laugh at without sperging out about it.

He really is one of the best in terms of cows. Even at his worst, all that happens is the thread goes through a hearty round of "fuck you, Jack!" when he mistreats staff or bitches out on Boomerbook. Hell, I just started reading this thread at random and he's become one of my favorites for easy reading.

 

[Poutine It Here]

I am guessing learning Mario and Luigi are actually gay lovers and Princess Peach is just their beard is what finally made Jack keel over.

He's coming for ya Aunt Merna at the great buffet in the sky

 

[SandyCat]

inb4 Jack does a 180 and reveal it was just an elaborate troll with a fat suit and makeup

The good ending of Jack Scalfani

 

[AnOminous]

It’s gonna be hard to find another cow like Jack. He’s got the exact mix of deep lore, plainly obvious retardation and boomer/amerimutt stereotypes all in a package that’s easy to just laugh at without sperging out about it.

And he is somehow a dumb Christian stereotype AND a grimacing West Coast soyboy at the same time.

 

[densedance]

Not sure if I asked this before, but I think there should be a law that dismisses (financial) help if you are in a near helpless case like Jack. Just the best example that what we witness right now. Out of the Hospital, but shoves Sandwiches straight up his wazoo without any shame.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

To think Jack felt the full force of a stroke. The pain which he said was unpleasant and had to stay in the hospital for months. Only to immediately go back to eating fast food. The main thing that caused him to have a stroke in the first place is mind-boggling. A normal human would attempt to reduce sodium to zero and start dieting? Did the doctors really recommend he eats salty bacon and high cholesterol foods? He truly has a death wish that for some reason has not been granted.

If the first three strokes didn't tell him he needed to lose weight, stop eating fast food and reduce the sodium and fat in his diet then why would the last one do this?

Jagoff Scalfatty is a broken man in more ways than one. He's cheated death many times now and now he's rapidly losing the battle. I don't see him living much longer if he doesn't make a change NOW.

I wonder if he survives #5, what idiotic excuse he'll make for it happening other than that he's just a lazy fat fuck who will not stop eating garbage like a hog at a trough all day long.

You know how earthquakes have aftershocks? That would be an afterstroke.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Not sure if I asked this before, but I think there should be a law that dismisses (financial) help if you are in a near helpless case like Jack. Just the best example that what we witness right now. Out of the Hospital, but shoves Sandwiches straight up his wazoo without any shame.

That's how friendly societies used to work. Refuse to pitch in when times were good or put down the bottle, and they threw you out on your ass to die in the gutter. Add Jack to Null's pile of reasons the welfare state shouldn't exist.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

That's how friendly societies used to work. Refuse to pitch in when times were good or put down the bottle, and they threw you out on your ass to die in the gutter. Add Jack to Null's pile of reasons the welfare state shouldn't exist.

I am obviously liberal and am a fan of social welfare, but retards like Jack who rail against it, despite claiming to be Christian, and then benefit from it make me want them to lose it

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I am obviously liberal and am a fan of social welfare, but retards like Jack who rail against it, despite claiming to be Christian, and then benefit from it make me want them to lose it

Yeah like if you benefit from government programs, you really shouldn't complain about those programs especially Jack who gleefully laughs at people for being fired because they worked for "woke" companies.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

If the first three strokes didn't tell him he needed to lose weight, stop eating fast food and reduce the sodium and fat in his diet then why would the last one do this?

I see this all the time in my line of work. someone like jack with a piss poor diet get a stroke. Refuses, to change. Keeps eating, keep living like a pig. Sooner or later, he comes back to the E.R. and we have to save him. He will thank god for “saving” him while we get spat on by him for not giving him a second brownie for lunch or not giving him an oxy. He goes home and tells everyone that god saved him and how all the physicians and nurses were evil commies who treated him like dirt cause he’s a Christian or some shit. Then it all starts again.

What really get to me is he uses programs that others can’t get. He’s one some sort of medical coverage that others can’t have. We are the only first world country without socialize medicine and he (someone who against it) is gleefully using it.