Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[AgendaPoster]

Both Sex and Race mentioned on the arrest warrant, makes me hopeful and optimistic for the Americas!

 

[thegooddoctor]

Bam's warrant.
View attachment 5081578View attachment 5081581
4 arrests in a month. Impressive. The online speculation is he stole Phil's car.

He's just getting off the attention at this point, the fall from grace is spectacular but not unexpected for this junkie tard.

 

[oramge cat]

That was Ryan Dunn. Bam attributes his spiral into depression over Dunn being done

More like Ryan Well Done amirite?

 

[Tetragrammaton]

PA kiwi here. If he's really in the woods, there's a good chance he's fucked depending on how far he's actually made it.

Pennsylvania literally means "Penn's Woods". Meaning that PA is nothing, but forests, and it's extremely easy to get lost in them, especially if you're not familiar with them. Hell, even if you are, you're still in a fuckton of trouble because of all the ditches, hills, mountains, cliffs, rivers, streams, and abandoned mines everywhere.

I don't want to get everyone's hopes up, but a retarded, alcoholic, Floridian tweaker like Bam running into Pennsylvanian woods has a decent chance of never coming back out.

Edit: Apparently, Bam is not from Florida. He actually is from Pennsylvania. The point still stands because running blindly into the Pennsylvanian wilderness is never a good idea, even if you're actually from the state, and not currently high off your ass on meth.

as someone who used to live in the woods in PA i can confirm if bam is actually in the woods there is a high chance he will die in there. especially around now. the bears are out some with cubs plus i am pretty sure the rattlesnakes will be or already have woken up either way these are both things some retard fucked up on meth is not gonna be able to handle in a smart way.


all that aside i am pretty much just waiting for him to either just die in his sleep or kill himself in some drug fueled craze. rehab wont fix him at this point. his weird fans and shitty friends who choose to enable him unlike the ones who were smart enough to leave will always drag him back because they are just as much fuck ups as he is.

 

[valence]

His entire life starting at like 16 has been nothing but getting paid exorbitant amounts of money to do fun shit, first it was getting sponsored to skate, then it was Jackass, then it was everything else.

He talks like this because he stopped maturing mentally at that age and never actually had to become an adult, he is a literal Peter Pan, so he has this teenage angst like his life is so hard and full of suffering but in reality he's been living an extremely coddled existence and is just an utter fuckup wasteoid.

Bam Margera is "fuck you mom and dad *cranks up the Linkin Park*", personified as a 40-something ex-husband and parent of children.

Big time. The biggest event in Bam's life was Ryans' death. His #1 fun buddy. I bet Bam totally sees it as something happening to him directly, he's such a spoiled faggot

 

[Looney Troons]

pretty sure the rattlesnakes will be or already have woken up

Terrifying thought, really. Bam is fucking fat and has 0 survival sense. He’s going to get obliterated by nature if he doesn’t get out of the woods. I also lived up that way a long time ago and will confirm that the creepy crawlies are active and will be quite unhappy if some obese junkie manchild steps on them

This ain’t Steve-O and Pontius on Wild Boyz

 

[CowPox]

I'm convinced that Bam'd be in this position regardless of Dunn's passing.

They would probably hate one another by this point in their lives to be honest...

 

[Sniperwoof]

If he's smart he'll head for Kensington. Its effectively a no go zone so he can slum and hide out until the heat dies down.

 

[TheTourist]

If he's smart he'll head for Kensington. Its effectively a no go zone so he can slum and hide out until the heat dies down.

you think Bam has the sense not to get himself shot or the shit kicked out of him? Philly people are a different breed.

 

[Fetish Roulette]

as someone who used to live in the woods in PA i can confirm if bam is actually in the woods there is a high chance he will die in there. especially around now. the bears are out some with cubs plus i am pretty sure the rattlesnakes will be or already have woken up either way these are both things some retard fucked up on meth is not gonna be able to handle in a smart way.


all that aside i am pretty much just waiting for him to either just die in his sleep or kill himself in some drug fueled craze. rehab wont fix him at this point. his weird fans and shitty friends who choose to enable him unlike the ones who were smart enough to leave will always drag him back because they are just as much fuck ups as he is.

In general, the wilderness isn't something to fuck around with. This is probably the last bit of content we're going to get out of Bam for a long, long time- he's far too retarded to evade a statewide manhunt for long. Chester County is near the southern border of the state, so his best bet is to flee south to Maryland and dye his hair and shit. This almost certainly will not occur to him.

 

[Fornicario]

If he's smart he'll head for Kensington. Its effectively a no go zone so he can slum and hide out until the heat dies down.

Really? Times have changed.

 

[Wesker]

View attachment 5083661

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

My money's on Wee Man, he seems to be doing great, as far as I can tell was never deeply into booze or drugs, and little people don't have shortened (lol) life expectancies unlike the perpetually morbidly obese.

That's not true. Little people can die of sleep apnea and other conditions. Depends on the type of dwarfism. Wee Man has achondroplasia, the most common type of dwarfism. That can lead to sleep apnea and death during sleep.

Children with achondroplasia are thought to be at increased risk for central apnea, obstructive apnea, and restrictive lung disease because of their bony deformities. The prevalence of respiratory abnormalities in children with achondroplasia has been estimated to be as high as 85%.

 

[CowPox]

The door of Bam's brothers house swings open and Bam steps in, walks to the kitchen sink and begins to piss in it, then when questioned by his brother he proceeds to punch him in the face, then when the heat is turned up threatens to shoot everyone in the house before scrambling out into the tree line like the doctor who turned into Swamp Thing.

Is this accurate?

 

[MarineN*4235431]

guess is playing a irl stunt lol

 

[KneeLengthCock]

The door of Bam's brothers house swings open and Bam steps in, walks to the kitchen sink and begins to piss in it, then when questioned by his brother he proceeds to punch him in the face, then when the heat is turned up threatens to shoot everyone in the house before scrambling out into the tree line like the doctor who turned into Swamp Thing.

Is this accurate?

Dr. Alec Holland. And now I miss the 90's TV show.

 

[Funeral for a Furry]

Well this is the moat entertainment we've had out of Bam in a long time.

 

[Austim Spergler]

earth rocking bros... not like this

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Sounds like the Shaman tried to hold an intervention with Bam’s family. In that babbling “trailer” interview he refers to this. Sounds like even the Shaman got sick of Bam or Bam’s checks stopped clearing.

I didnt mean to sound like I was taking a jab at his family. What I was mostly getting at was back when he was doing ok and returned to the country. It probably wasnt the great idea to go back to his old town with all his junkie buddies to hang out in the old viva la bam mansion.

When has Bam been doing ok for the past decade? He’s been a complete trainwreck for years. He only arrived back in PA a few days ago and that was thanks to getting arrested in LA, getting kicked out of hotels and totally burning his few remaining bridges there. I think he went to back to his old house because it was the only place left to go at this point.

Bam has spent 95% of the last five years in California, Florida or on drunken hobo journeys in between.

 

[Frosted Snowflakes]

So Bam was a big fish in a small pond last night in West Chester:View attachment 5076857View attachment 5076858View attachment 5076859
Now take this next tweet as you may, she deleted it this morning:
View attachment 5076866

First Tucker Carlson is fired, then Don Lemon is fired, then James Corden's show cancelled, then Sega of America unionized, then Wizard of the Coast hired Pinkertons, and now Bam Margera is on the run from state troopers. You fucked up now, Bam.

By the way, doesn't Bam remind you of the possessed farmer from Men In Black?