Nintendo Switch (Currently Plagued) - Here we shit post about the new Nintendo console, The Switch

So, weird that nobody's talking about it but Nintendo flew a bunch of streamers out to NoA and let them capture BotW footage (with minders keeping them fully in the newbie zone.) Expect to see tons of stuff soon.

If you attach meat to an arrow it distracts enemies.
 
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whatever I feel like said:
So, weird that nobody's talking about it but Nintendo flew a bunch of streamers out to NoA and let them capture BotW footage (with minders keeping them fully in the newbie zone.) Expect to see tons of stuff soon.

If you attach meat to an arrow it distracts enemies.
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I watched one video by RGT because he's decent and not a complete faggot.

Everyone else is Arlo-tier... or worse.
 
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Hands On: Zelda: Tears Of The Kingdom Indulges Your Idiocy In The Very Best Way​

To say there’s been hype surrounding The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom would not just be an understatement, but a fairly poor opening line to any sort of hands-on feature. On an unrelated note, Nintendo recently invited us to go and have a go at The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom at their European headquarters in Frankfurt. We got a whopping 70 minutes with the game, which felt like no more than ten with all the stuff we wanted to proverbially bathe ourselves in, so how did it hold up? Has this so-called hype been justified?

We opened with a short session on a Sky Island designed to allow us to get to grips with the controls and play around with the new mechanics (or at the very least begin to). We were initially a little bit overwhelmed as we were told in not quite so many words to ‘go nuts’ with everything that lay before us. We had a pop with the Ultrahand and quickly discovered that we have a far less robust understanding of physics than we thought. We helped a Korok with a big ol’ backpack to reunite with his friend, gaining a pair of Korok Seeds in the process (so feel free to scream ‘they’re back’ in whatever tone you prefer in the comments). We tried to shield surf after attaching a fan to our makeshift surfboard. Spoiler alert: it didn’t go well.

We also discovered, little to our surprise, that the Fuse ability is just as open — and has the potential to be as mindlessly stupid — as you wish, and we mean that in the best possible way. You can’t actually attach an apple to the end of a sword and expect it to do any good, can you? We had a similarly short-sighted mindset at first, but after trying it for ourselves we are happy to report that ‘for goodness sake, of course it gives you a minor attack boost, Bokoblins hate apples!’ Our second (and longer) session had us begin on the surface in front of an enemy camp that we were encouraged to storm in whatever way we saw fit. Our first instinct, as always, was to take out any lookouts to keep our presence a secret for as long as possible, and we spied one such Bokoblin high up in the camp. With a flourish of unjustified confidence, we fired an arrow at its bonce and promptly missed because it was too far away.

But that’s when a brainwave came over us; is there something we could fuse to an arrow that would give it more flight? Some bows could do that in Breath of the Wild after all. In our first experiment, we tried fusing a Keese Wing, and it worked. We can’t quite put into words the satisfaction that came with having such a thought so quickly returning precisely the result we needed, but needless to say we were chuffed beyond belief. We then had a play with a new system that allows you to throw any Material in your inventory. In Breath of the Wild you could hold and drop things, and even drop them further away from you, but this is a whole new ball game. By holding 'R' and pressing up on the D-Pad, you can choose to throw anything from a piece of meat to a shard of flint, or much more interestingly, a Bomb Flower. Yes, this and various other new flora not only expand your available weaponry, but can also be attached to anything else in the manner you would have come to expect.

These replace elemental arrows, but don’t be too sad, as the variety available to you is now significantly more substantial than it was. Muddlebuds are a new material that will cause any enemies hit by it to become confused and enter a frenzy, attacking their compatriots. Dazzlefruit, although we didn’t get a chance to try them out, will create a flash that blinds foes. Gemstones can also enter the party, as when attached to an arrow and fired, they’ll adopt their appropriate elemental quality in spectacular fashion; a piece of topaz led to our own untimely death before we truly understood and respected its massive blast radius. What becomes very apparent when you play the game is just how much more important every resource you find is this time. Bokoblin Fangs were ten a penny in the past, and good for little more than fueling the Master Cycle every so often, but in Tears of the Kingdom anything can become a part of something greater than itself, and we’re still reeling from trying to think of all the possible combinations of things we didn’t have time to test.

That goes for the Ultrahand as well. On the face of it, it’s something that allows you to build funny little cars to go broom broom around Hyrule in like a slightly more violently-motivated Enid Blyton character, but the true applications are far more varied. For one thing, Ultrahand is essentially Magnesis for everything, and the contraptions you make don’t have to even be remotely road-legal. We’re only half-joking with that statement as well, as you could probably make just about anything if you put your mind to it. We’re looking forward to speedruns that build trebuchets mid-boss battle with bated breath. But we’ve got to be honest, we mostly built vehicles in our time. The parts we’ve seen in trailers such as fans and steering platforms can be found scattered throughout the world in various numbers, but can also be found in those orb-like gacha machines, and more importantly, can then be carried around in your inventory freely. Yes, you can at any point stop and throw a plane, car, or hot air balloon together if you’ve got the parts you need, and the process, although a little fiddly, is quite intuitive.

The game’s physics engine doesn’t pull any punches either, within reason. We tried gluing two plane bodies together for extra we don’t know but it seemed funny at the time, and after some fans and rockets, the game promptly rewarded us with an almost comically inept flying experience that we only barely survived. All our own fault of course, but it was still more effective than when we tried to make a hot air balloon out of mostly wood. The underrated Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts has rightly been part of the discussion since Nintendo revealed this gameplay element but, in practice, it doesn't feel very much like Rare's game. The concept is the same, but TOTK is a lot more flexible with a lesser emphasis on vehicles.

Performance for the most part is rather solid, but we did notice some instances when using the Ultrahand where the frame rate took a noticeable hit. It's not like it broke the game or ruined our enjoyment at all, but it would be nice to see such wrinkles ironed out. One element that really pleased us was the variety of puzzles in the world itself. What would otherwise have been relegated to a Shrine in Breath of the Wild, such as a series of water-filled reservoirs that could be systematically drained, can just be found out and about, minding their own business in the overworld. It made us feel as though we were actually walking through a functioning ancient civilisation rather than just its ruins, and the whole seamless nature just felt right.

Our time with Tears of the Kingdom was brief, and if you take one thing away from this article, let it be that our desire to go back and just spend 50 hours playing with the Ultrahand is overwhelming. From our experience so far, we’re looking at history being made with this game. And most importantly, you can now drop a weapon if you find another in a chest when your inventory’s full.

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Zelda: Tears Of The Kingdom Indulges Your Idiocy In The Very Best Way…

archived 26 Apr 2023 23:32:50 UTC
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By holding 'R' and pressing up on the D-Pad, you can choose to throw anything from a piece of meat to a shard of flint, or much more interestingly, a Bomb Flower. Yes, this and various other new flora not only expand your available weaponry, but can also be attached to anything else in the manner you would have come to expect.
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Lol, wasn't one of the detractors saying they preffered the shitty Immortals system where there were only three types of plant?
 
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Vyse Inglebard said:
-snip-
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Seems interesting, though I still wonder if this will wear thin on the gameplay. Is the new hand really all the game has to offer beyond some plot and more shrines? It sounds fun... I'm just remaining skeptical lol
EDIT: especially since, checking the publishers, this is coming from the same guys who gave Pokémon Sword and Shield and their expansion pass 8/10s...
 
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double-posting to say: LOL look at this fucking interview
I saw it on the sidebar and gave it a look because I remember this game from Kickstarter a few years back. It looked EXACTLY like it does here back then, shitty art and all. This interview is also hilariously pretentious (as expected), talking about how they're the first game in the mon-catching genre to use procedural generation for their monsters (like that's a good thing) and how they want to take a more mature approach to the concept (this is always a massive red flag, btw, for obvious reasons) before going on to talk about how you can romance your companions and that being close with them increases your strength when fusing together lol. God I'll never get tired of people using fusion as a shitty sex metaphor. Never.

This game also gives me real YIIK vibes for some reason. I think it might be the terribly shitty 3D assets mixed in with the bad art and overtly retro-inspired setting. Might also just be me trying to have some cathartic fun with a game I thought had potential but knew would be shitty regardless.
 
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Anonitolia said:
they want to take a more mature approach to the concept (this is always a massive red flag, btw, for obvious reasons)
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To a degree I think that's okay, the first two Pokemon gens were more "mature" (or more accurately, slightly less childish) than later entries which got noticeably goofier and softer in tone. They got rid of proper antagonistic rivals, swapped out a relatively violent mafia for Saturday morning cartoon villains, and the art style took a clear turn toward being cuter.

But if by "mature" they just mean gratuitous cursing, sex, violence, then that's retarded.
 
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SSj_Ness said:
To a degree I think that's okay, the first two Pokemon gens were more "mature" (or more accurately, slightly less childish) than later entries which got noticeably goofier and softer in tone. They got rid of proper antagonistic rivals, swapped out a relatively violent mafia for Saturday morning cartoon villains, and the art style took a clear turn toward being cuter.
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I completely agree

SSj_Ness said:
But if by "mature" they just mean gratuitous cursing, sex, violence, then that's retarded.
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Except for the fact that it's almost always this lmfao
Not in this genre- when it's said in this genre, that usually means the creatures "LICHERALLY DYING YOU GUYS" and/or a lot of very heavy political/romantic themes that clash hilariously.
Even when it's not, "mature" is always a massive red flag.

For me, rule #0 is this: if it's a good game with a mature story, that will not be advertised. Not beyond maybe a sentence or two max, anyways. Actually-good games with these kinds of stories always let the game speak for itself and don't parade themselves around in a massive dressed-up carriage with "LOOK AT THIS IT'S SO MATURE" painted on the side of every door and window.
Every single game I've seen that flaunts itself as "mature" or otherwise "darker" is Life Is Strange-tier tumblr bullshit that has the subtlety of a sledgehammer and is about as fun to play through as getting hit by one.

Or it's so bad it's hilarious like YIIK is. But that's way, way rarer.
 
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Anonitolia said:
when it's said in this genre, that usually means the creatures "LICHERALLY DYING YOU GUYS" and/or a lot of very heavy political/romantic themes that clash hilariously.
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Politics might be interesting if somehow done well, though I can't imagine how in such a genre, but romance sounds laughable if not autistic. Maybe a Persona type of life simulator aspect could work?

But Pokemon dying is good, even the actual Pokemon series acknowledges Pokemon die, and Team Rocket killed some in gen 1, and I think it was actually considered as a mechanic at one point. They also are shown to die in the manga (supposedly, I never read it).

The original Pokemon animal's writer supposedly had some kind of human vs Pokemon war planned, it sounds stupid but he wrote the best part of the series so I think these kinds of ideas can be done well. They just never will be done well because Pokemon long since moved away from all of these things and indies don't have the talent.

I hear Digimon is relatively mature compared to Pokemon too, but I'm not super familiar with it, but I guess it shows the genre is capable of more than these soulless dead-eyed anime kids smiling like gen 3 onward.

I'm just ranting now but remember the banned episodes of Pokemon, like that dude sticking a gun in Ash's face? That's the kind of stuff I wanna see sprinkled in, it doesn't have to be extreme, just give things a little nudge here or there to keep it interesting and not totally dumbed down.
 
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Anonitolia said:
For me, rule #0 is this: if it's a good game with a mature story, that will not be advertised. Not beyond maybe a sentence or two max, anyways. Actually-good games with these kinds of stories always let the game speak for itself and don't parade themselves around in a massive dressed-up carriage with "LOOK AT THIS IT'S SO MATURE" painted on the side of every door and window.
Every single game I've seen that flaunts itself as "mature" or otherwise "darker" is Life Is Strange-tier tumblr bullshit that has the subtlety of a sledgehammer and is about as fun to play through as getting hit by one.
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1682563061177.png

You played this? I've heard it's really good survival horror, but it outright says:
This Game may contain content not appropriate for all ages, or may not be appropriate for viewing at work: Frequent Violence or Gore, General Mature Content.
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If you played it and you think it's good, would you say it's an exception to the rule?
 
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