I Almost Died.
(05/02/23)
Original:
From this video I learned/summary for those unable to suffer Lucas:
-Lucas suffered from "chronic pain issues" & was given Percocet.
-The GP is at fault for not stopping the Percocet prescription. GP said to not tell anyone Lucas was addicted, or else the pills will stop coming.
-Lucas' friend is at fault for showing him how to shoot up, despite Lucas being
SO NOBLE, & taking them in when this friend was homeless. This led to addiction to hydromorphone.
-Lucas' ex breaking their fist by punching a brick wall, upon hearing Lucas went to his dealer's house for drugs. Lucas went to the methadone clinic, instead of quitting cold turkey. Lucas "peed in a cup", got his methadone, & went to work. Still in chronic pain, after getting off medication.
-Lucas blames his lack of focus/concentration, not on ADHD anymore, but "fibro fog". Diagnosis of Fibromyalgia qualifies him for Long-term disability. Lack of ability to work, lead him to get into politics, joined Communist Party to find meaning.
-Lucas had silicone breast implants at age 18, when the pain began showing up. In his mid-20's Lucas had them removed. Thinks his breast implants may have been causing the severe chronic pain issues, not fibromyalgia. Still in pain, not as much.
- Was clean until Lucas watched his father die in 2018, this led him to down his dead father's Percocet (several months supply) that were at his mother's house. Lucas was at his mother's because he was helping her deal with the loss.
-Lucas has not had opiates, since.
-After Drop Kiwifarms, & leaving his long-term relationship, Lucas did not want to be alive. End of 2022, Lucas was drinking heavily.
-Start of 2023, Lucas started doing cocaine. Lucas did not realize this cocaine was cut with meth, & did the mixed drugs for 8 days.
-Lucas did not come out as an addict, because he did not want to let people down, or disappoint the people that look up to him. Lucas tried to detox, not go to rehab.
-Lucas says he was going through cocaine withdrawal during Twitter Space, leading him to call right-wingers he was debating "retards".
-Left wingers came at him harder than anything else he had done. Per Lucas, calling someone a retard is not so bad, only person really hurt was Lucas, in this matter.
-Lucas decided to try to commit suicide by cocaine, meth, & benzo-diazepam. Planned to order heroin via the Dark Web, friends stopped him.
-In rehab for 34 days, Addiction Rehabilitation Toronto facility, was diagnosed with PTSD there.
-Blames his lashing out due to PTSD, having constant flashbacks to trauma, was in flight-or-fight for most of 2020. Can now get help.
-Avoided death by cocaine laced with fentanyl
-Still attending online, two weeks remain before being certified clean. Will be better at not doing drugs than people that have never done drugs. Calls this "based".
-Working with therapist to keep moving forward, streaming, does not want to stop. Will avoid vitriol online by outsourcing social media to others, & spend more time off-line, in Belfast.
-Says Ellen is only a friend, Lucas is married to "the grind". Will post content in a more structured way, avoiding triggering material. Will avoid fighting people.
-Mods active banning, avoiding social media to prevent relapses.
-"We are SO back", has really good ideas but keeping them secret.