Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Aunt Carol]

He's loopy as heck, and can't reliably make doctor's appointments or drive himself to get groceries or meds. If they approve him for a thing that requires years of painful dilation... there's gotta be a way this can turn into malpractice.

This is another example of trans privilege that they always forget to mention.

There are other lifesaving, or QoL-saving operations that don't get performed if the patient has a pattern of noncompliance. Organ transplants aren't purposefully biased to economic status, but the agency looks for the best use of an organ. Will you (or your insurance) be able to afford labs and anti-rejection drugs for the life of the organ? Are you engaging in the behavior that killed your natal organ? Do you have a documented habit of no-shows and failing to refill medications?

It's like they're a breed-specific dog rescue making sure their kidney is going to a house with a big enough yard and money for vet bills.

This is like hip replacements on severely demented patients who won't be able to comprehend rehab, except those are at least on the word of the patients' kids who pinky-promise they'll help post op they won't. A huge groin operation that will affect mobility and urination forever--nope, asking pre-op questions is gatekeeping. Even the clinics that require homeless patients to have a plan for housing during the recovery period get badmouthed. That's a load-bearing suicide threat, and somehow it no longer applies to a post-vaginoplasty patient who's in pain because they can't get to follow-ups and keep up their PT.

Clinics can't give you any information, but you can still give them information. It's a very long shot, but you might try writing with your concerns about *female name* being able to make appointments or fill prescriptions, and warn in writing that he needs extra handholding and needs to have his comprehension and retention checked at all stages. All in *her* best interest, of course, but maybe your helpful heads-up will get him scrutinized a little more as an appropriate patient.

 

[Mrs. Addams]

Yeah... If they actually sign off on things, maybe I should say something. I honestly cannot imagine he'll be "safe to discharge" from the hospital, after surgery, without a nurse or something... But I had a trans friend in another state go through bottom surgery, and they released him with seriously questionable aftercare so.... sucks to be plastic surgery's latest guinea pig, I guess.

 

[Sissyagamben]

Yeah... If they actually sign off on things, maybe I should say something. I honestly cannot imagine he'll be "safe to discharge" from the hospital, after surgery, without a nurse or something... But I had a trans friend in another state go through bottom surgery, and they released him with seriously questionable aftercare so.... sucks to be plastic surgery's latest guinea pig, I guess.

purely anecdotal, but where I live (sinful degenerate hellhole that outshines Gomorrah), they kick the pooners out immediately after tit chop. Literally, if your surgery starts at 8, you are on the curb in a wheelchair at noon.
Google and healthline says double mastectomy (for legit reasons) usually involves a 1-3 days stay, and it’ll be longer if the procedures are more complex. I don’t know mane, shit don’t sound too ethical for me

 

[Vingle]

Yeah... If they actually sign off on things, maybe I should say something. I honestly cannot imagine he'll be "safe to discharge" from the hospital, after surgery, without a nurse or something... But I had a trans friend in another state go through bottom surgery, and they released him with seriously questionable aftercare so.... sucks to be plastic surgery's latest guinea pig, I guess.

Usually I would say "Just let him do it, if he dies. You will be better off". But I'm in a different mode today, so let's try something new.

If you want to keep him, you have to do everything in your power to stop him. The SRS-thread is big for a reason. A "successful" neo-vagina is quite rare and excoriating pain for years to go is the norm.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I honestly cannot imagine he'll be "safe to discharge" from the hospital, after surgery, without a nurse or something... But I had a trans friend in another state go through bottom surgery, and they released him with seriously questionable aftercare so.... sucks to be plastic surgery's latest guinea pig, I guess.

I'd send the letter out about the time he's getting estrogen; you can express concern about follow-up labs and about him filling his prescription regularly, without going mask off as an evil TERF. Pre-op screening is apparently bad at catching troons with unrealistic plans and no support system.

A vaginoplasty patient can lie about helpful friends, just the same as a crusty grandpa denying that he plans to drive himself home from his colonoscopy, but the timeline is longer and stakes are higher. This is your semi-friend and you'd rather he didn't permanently disable himself at all, at the cost of not being able to say "I told you so."

purely anecdotal, but where I live (sinful degenerate hellhole that outshines Gomorrah), they kick the pooners out immediately after tit chop. Literally, if your surgery starts at 8, you are on the curb in a wheelchair at noon.
Google and healthline says double mastectomy (for legit reasons) usually involves a 1-3 days stay, and it’ll be longer if the procedures are more complex. I don’t know mane, shit don’t sound too ethical for me

It's been nuts for a while; not just therapeutic mastectomies but there are knees and shoulders and thyroids going home same-day. (Ortho cases do at least get checked off by PT before discharge... as long as they're awake before PT goes home.)

There's an argument to be made for someone who can handle oral fluids and who doesn't need IV pain medication doing better at home, where there are no superbugs and fewer things that go "beep." Hopefully a drain with a concerning amount of output will start doing it in PACU, where the surgeon can be told, and the patient won't have to come back in six hours after discharge and go through the ED, but you win some, you lose some.

The real reason is that your facility can do a lot more surgeries if the turnover is just getting them in a car, not a few days' stay per patient. Get the ambulatory yeeted pooners out to their BFF's car before they realize that they haven't made plans for not being able to raise their arms above their heads; they're easier to mobilize than a bilateral knee grandma who realizes in Short Stay that she fucked up and will end up needing an inpatient bed after all.

eta: don't ask me how to fix the American healthcare system but cutting people's dicks off is probably not the answer.

 

[Fapcop]

There isn't, that's the entire genius of tranny ideology. Doctors know fine well that the majority of their trans patients aren't going to dilate properly and will lead to serious medical complications over time + high suicide risk, but as long as they repeatedly push the seriousness of dilation and how often it needs to be done, they're completely covered.

See, here’s the thing about medical malpractice lawsuits.

Never mind the informed consent waivers that basically surrender any right to sue.

(“It says right here Mr. Troon that complete loss of urinary function is a possible side effect, and that you are aware of this. Is that your signature Mr. Troon?”)

Let’s just ignore the waivers for now: But in order to sue a doctor and win, you need to have another doctor, an expert, testifying that the care he received was below the standard of care.

Not just “Hoo boy, that’s some risky shit!” Or “Wowza, sure looks like they dropped the ball here!”

No: The standard of care must have been violated. You need an expert witness to say that.

And given that the standard of care is pretty fucking abysmal, well… Good luck with that!

Your rotdog got infected and you now piss through a bag?

Tough shit! But given that this isn’t violating the standard of care and has happened to clients of numerous other doctors, your lawsuit is dismissed.

Have a 50.000$ go away-check that your lawyer will take 30K off. Have a nice day Mr/Ms Troon!

 

[Mrs. Addams]

Usually I would say "Just let him do it, if he dies. You will be better off". But I'm in a different mode today, so let's try something new.

If you want to keep him, you have to do everything in your power to stop him. The SRS-thread is big for a reason. A "successful" neo-vagina is quite rare and excoriating pain for years to go is the norm.

Yeah, that's fair. I'll look into how to contact his medical team. It just honestly doesn't sound like I have anything to contribute that he hasn't already told them himself though. I've been encouraging him to be honest about, his mental and physical issues, and he says he has. Ugg.

 

[Vingle]

I've been encouraging him to be honest about, his mental and physical issues, and he says he has. Ugg.

From what I've read, its very likely that he lies. I read this as you being a nagging mother and him being a teen that go all like "Yes mom". Not saying you have done anything wrong, but that's how the dialogue kinda reminds of.

People lie about stuff when they get into the emergency room too, which have consequences which may end up in them dying. Not from malpractice, but from the medical team not knowing what to do and needing to guess and try stuff on the spot.

 

[Sissyagamben]

Yeah, that's fair. I'll look into how to contact his medical team. It just honestly doesn't sound like I have anything to contribute that he hasn't already told them himself though. I've been encouraging him to be honest about, his mental and physical issues, and he says he has. Ugg.

I honestly doubt the surgeons have no idea he has mental issues. If you don’t have mental issues, you won’t want to loop off your dick. We see soooo many pooners showing off their mastectomy scars with arms and chest covered in self harm scars. It doesn’t even need to be subtle. If the surgeons have common decency and moral compass they won’t have chosen that career path to begin with.

Any med or law fag here know is there a reason for ppl to be denied selective surgeries? Is SRS even still selective? Try to convince the surgeon will be as hard as convincing mengele, I feel like it’s best to start with him, I mean, if you really want to save him. Try to show him the SRS thread horrors with post-op complications, complete loss of sex drive, horrible results etc, and present it as you worry about the current standard of care/SRS technology, and not he shouldn’t cut off his dick. You know, maybe in 5 years they’ll have good care and results, the surgeons now are super transphobic actually because they dont care about their patients enough. And it’ll all be true, and we know they’ll never have it perfected even close to acceptable, and maybe in 5 years he’ll grow out of it.
Ofc, if he’s just some guy you know and you don’t care that that much, you’ll have to let him destroy himself. It’s gut wrenching to see mere strangers on the internet get mutilated beyond comprehension, not to say someone you know, but you can’t save everyone

 

[Aunt Carol]

From what I've read, its very likely that he lies.

It's like telling the dental hygienist that you floss almost every day, except this time the consequences could be much worse than them nodding and de-scaling you anyway.

I honestly doubt the surgeons have no idea he has mental issues. If you don’t have mental issues, you won’t want to loop off your dick. We see soooo many pooners showing off their mastectomy scars with arms and chest covered in self harm scars. It doesn’t even need to be subtle. If the surgeons have common decency and moral compass they won’t have chosen that career path to begin with.

Any med or law fag here know is there a reason for ppl to be denied selective surgeries? Is SRS even still selective

Surgeons are surgeons because they're good at cutting; some of them have good social skills and some of them don't.

There are two entities that would deny an elective surgery: the money (insurance) and the surgeon/facility. Surgeon's concerned about good outcomes, if for no other reason than a CS player cares about their kill:die ratio. Insurance has a list of requirements you must fulfill, and you can check them off like prereqs for a class or like you're trying to get a Scout badge.

edit: rogue emoticon

 

[Marvin]

Let’s just ignore the waivers for now: But in order to sue a doctor and win, you need to have another doctor, an expert, testifying that the care he received was below the standard of care.

Not just “Hoo boy, that’s some risky shit!” Or “Wowza, sure looks like they dropped the ball here!”

No: The standard of care must have been violated. You need an expert witness to say that.

And given that the standard of care is pretty fucking abysmal, well… Good luck with that!

Your rotdog got infected and you now piss through a bag?

Tough shit! But given that this isn’t violating the standard of care and has happened to clients of numerous other doctors, your lawsuit is dismissed.

I was just going to point this out.

Medical malpractice lawsuits aren't about whether or not the surgery is a good idea. The courts take the (normally) reasonable perspective that they are not experts and it's not really their place to answer complex medical questions.

Rather, the courts' job is to compare the treatment you got with what a typical doctor in the field would do. As you point out, what the "accepted standard of care" is.

That's the sick genius of the legal environment for troon surgeries. As long as all the dickchoppers stick together and agree with each other, and maintain a shit standard of care, then they can't ever be successfully sued for malpractice.

They're just doing what every other dickchopper does. It's not their fault that occasionally (read: every fucking time) things go wrong, that's just the nature of the accepted standard of care.

Like I said, this is normally a prudent approach for a court to take with any highly technical field. But it falls apart when the experts in question have shit ethics and it's some niche, activist-soaked field like troonery.

 

[Sissyagamben]

Surgeons are surgeons because they're good at cutting; some of them have good social skills and some of them don't.

I mean those who do SRS they should really be called what they are, modern day Mengele

 

[Hepativore]

I mean those who do SRS they should really be called what they are, modern day Mengele

I think that a lot of SRS specialists have convinced themselves that what they are doing is benevolent. There is an almost religious undertone about how many SRS surgeons look upon their process as "liberating" troons from their limitations. The people who dispense the medications and perform the surgeries for medical transitioning are often so myopic that they do not want to look at the long-term and debilitating complications and probably regard detransitioners as being ungrateful.

The flayed arms, festering crotch wounds, carved up chests, and rotting skin burritos are just the sacrifices that have had to be made to help the "chosen" along their way.

Meanwhile, everybody gets angry when people like us point out the hypocrisy involved in refusing to regard transexualism as the mental illness that it really is instead of shoving these people head-first into a regimen of hormones and surgery that turns people's genitals into abstract art sculptures.

 

[Vingle]

I think that a lot of SRS specialists have convinced themselves that what they are doing is benevolent.

My guess is that they don't care and a job is a job. Recently watched a documentary about boobjobs and those who go way big. The doctors don't like it, but if that's what pays.

 

[Hepativore]

My guess is that they don't care and a job is a job. Recently watched a documentary about boobjobs and those who go way big. The doctors don't like it, but if that's what pays.

It is interesting on how there seems to be such a huge difference in incision sites in people who have had to have mastectomies for things like cancer compared to the hack jobs done on pooners.

 

[Corn Flakes]

It is interesting on how there seems to be such a huge difference in incision sites in people who have had to have mastectomies for things like cancer compared to the hack jobs done on pooners.

Yeah, the MtF want the zippertits. It's self-harm taken up to 11, it's pointless if there aren't scars to show for it.

 

[Doktor Grimm]

Speaking to my trans friends after my detransition makes me feel like I've stepped into a twisted alternate reality. Every word out of their mouths sounds like cult speak all of a sudden. I genuinely can't comprehend how I didn't realise it sooner.

Recently a longtime friend of mine spoke to me about the "trans experience". About her struggle with gender dysphoria. There were so many things I wanted to say. Warnings that I myself ignored. But I knew none of it would mean anything to her, just as it had meant nothing to me. All there is to do is watch as the people I used to know so well sink into the endless spiral of troonism.

Worst of all is the knowledge that I helped enable it all. I can't help but feel like maybe if I hadn't been complicit in encouraging their transitions things might have ended up differently. I swear I thought I was helping. Is it possible for me to apologise, even though it's the opposite of what they want to hear?

Maybe it's time to burn some bridges if it means planting a seed of doubt in their mind. But that might make things even worse. I'm really not sure how to go about this.

 

[Hepativore]

One of the two pooner troons where I work just had a huge meltdown yesterday where she got into a massive shouting match with a subordinate in the break room, complete with tears of rage and angry gestures. I only caught part of what it was about as I walked in to part of it as I was about to sit down and eat, but said troon seems to be getting worse as the months go on. I know she has some sort of underlying psychiatric anxiety disorder, but the HRT seems to be exacerbating it. I do not know who the hell prescribed it to her or cut off her breasts in the first place as she gets more and more erratic the further she gets into her transition.

There used to be three troons where I work, but one of them jumped off the pooner train before she started the hormones and got out of the troon cult before she could do any permanent damage to herself. There is an odd dynamic at my job as all three troons used to be friends and the two pooners were grooming the third one into being an FTM as they had convinced her that being a very "fem" lesbian was just a cover for being in denial about being a secret transman inside. When she got weirded out by the troon hivemind and stopped using male pronouns and binding, the remaining troons basically regarded her as a mortal enemy, and avoid her, but she is a lot less depressive as of a year ago.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

I lost one BPD bitch I was intimate with. She had a they/them phase, recently realized that was dumb mistake, but she wasted the end of her prime years and now she's a post-wall crazy cat lady. Sad.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

she got into a massive shouting match with a subordinate in the break room, complete with tears of rage and angry gestures.

A man who did this would not only be fired but would have the cops called on him.

Just imagine any circumstance where a guy could get away with this kind of overt lunacy on the job. The only ones I can think of is if he was himself trooning out, or if he was in a position of extreme power, like a major political figure or Hollywood jerk.