Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[PoisonedBun]

I posted in this thread before about an experience, but I'm looking for a little advice.

A friend of a friend trooned out about a year ago. I'm very very close with this person. Now, I don't think he's at any risk himself of trooning out, I have various reasons to believe this that I won't go into here. You might think 'well, what's the problem?'. It's just that I've noticed there's been a steady shift in his demeanor. It's harder to talk about certain subjects, and he seems more easily offended than he used to be.

Spoiler: sperging with as little PLing as possible

For example, Dave Chapelle used to be his favorite comedian until very recently. Now, he's convinced he's an asshole who should have just shut up and kept his money. 'Why is it so hard just to be nice to people and leave them alone? 'Woke' people just want to improve things, why is that so wrong?' Obviously, the issue is a lot more complicated than that. I don't know what to say to him. I don't know if I should try. I tried to offer a little perspective, saying that people with a lot of money are able to say these things because they won't get canceled and lose their jobs. He told me getting canceled isn't real, and that term was appropriated from the black community. A lot of internet slang comes from African Americans, sure, but I thought it was a weird way to respond.

He's also convinced JKR is a terf in the worst sense. I tell him, 'I don't know. She seems concerned men would take advantage of womens only spaces by pretending to be trans. I think that's a valid concern.' 'Oh no she said waaaaay worse than that, you should read it.' Which...I did...lol. That said he still bought the wizard game and then donated to the Trevor project to try to make up for it. Again, lol.

Ultimately our dynamic hasn't changed that much, and I've only ever met the troon once. Maybe I'm overreacting, but such a major change and his over all naivety about this the things he talks about concerns me. We've never really majorly fought about anything serious before, so I'm not sure what he would do if I tried to push back any harder. His GF has also always been very entrenched in social justice issues, but he never took her seriously about them before.

Is there anything I can say or do, or does this just have to run its course? I'm likely more tolerant towards trans shit than the average kiwi, but I'm very much aware and critical of the issues in the community. Meanwhile, he just appears to be parroting things he's been told by others, because I've heard the things he's said almost verbatim hundreds of times. I'm concerned it's going to get worse.

 

[Kiislova]

their neo-organs are indistinguishable from natal ones

I could tell the difference with lights off.
This is a blatant lie, she knows it, you know it, everyone does it.

Tell her to eat amhole, as you did first hand*, then come back and tell me its the same.

* Is she gonna inquire about the truthfulness of this statement? Nah. And you have a reason to dislike it.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Is there anything I can say or do, or does this just have to run its course?

To an extent, not much. His beliefs are adopted wholesale, in order to maintain a social position, so they have little underpinning them. His anger stems from his own lack of understanding for those beliefs and an inability to truly defend them, either to himself or to others. It's possible he's also being subtly influenced to break relationships with people who don't follow the same beliefs as his social circle, which can be stressful, for obvious reasons.

Arguing with him won't help, because he can't actually defend his position; he will simply refuse to engage in anything other than sophistry and it will only drive a wedge between you. Asking him to explain his position in a neutral way might work, but there's always the risk that he'll perceive questions as an assault on his beliefs.

What might be helpful is to encourage the behaviours you want to see from him. Ask questions about how he came to believe certain things, but don't press for answers. Be respectful. The main point is to re-establish and strengthen the relationship between the two of you, so that he sees you as an alternative means of companionship and can see a different way of existing, outside of the restrictions of the social circle in which he's trying to maintain status; but also to get him to actually examine the beliefs he's adopted in a setting that doesn't require performative behaviours. Give him a safe space, essentially. Beyond that, I can't suggest much.

 

[Aunt Carol]

'Oh no she said waaaaay worse than that, you should read it.'

"Oh, wow. Can you send me the link?"

 

[Anasa Tristis]

"oh god what the fuck did i get myself into"

You got yourself into a common enough situation in the Internet Age. You bonded with a stranger online. Maybe even revealed a bit too much about yourself. And then the realization set in that nothing online, including your pal, can be trusted 100%. Which is good. Better late than never.

It sounds like if you wanted to you could meet up in real life. Maybe it's time to propose that and see what happens? Don't dick around with litmus test gotchas. Those won't yield anything reliable. And might do unnecessary or regretful damage. Take it offline. ASAP. Maybe call her on the phone for starters. If "she" plays games with picking up your phone calls or meeting up in person, then ghost her with a clean conscience. And with fingers crossed that she's really just another handmaiden and not a vindictive troon who will attempt to nuke your life because you called his bluff and wrecked his fun.

Good luck.

 

[463N7 5M17H]

'Why is it so hard just to be nice to people and leave them alone? 'Woke' people just want to improve things, why is that so wrong?'

Maybe try the 'Everyone is open to criticism' angle there, unless that would only entrench you deeper. A question like that is mostly posed by people who are so low IQ that they can't connect the dots or by people who refuse to see the dots. Maybe an appeal to scientific theory, i.e. 'We can't foresee if their goals will actually improve the world' though that may prompt questions like: "How could accepting people for their foul degenerate 'true' identities harm us in the long run?"

As for the whole 'leave them alone' part, you could perhaps mention that lately fags and 'woke' individuals are doing nothing of the sort. There's a good chance he won't care about the hypocrisy or realize it, or that he doesn't even think that hypocrisy is a factor.

Spoiler: psychological sperging

Many people tend to believe that the world and society should work in a specific and approved way and that's the end of it, ex:
'We should be nice and leave people alone' > 'People should not be criticized if they don't ask for it' > 'We must punish people who think differently'
These people can't acknowledge the hypocrisy latent in certain social systems because it would break them, so they make excuses about opposing opinions being 'not a valid/real belief,' as I've seen directed towards certain political and cultural groups. This worsens if these people surround themselves with others who parrot the same sort of soft, easily-offended belief patterns. If someone does acknowledge the hypocrisy but in an unintellectual, non-reflective manner they're too far gone.

Safest to hold on and wait, but that might not work. In the end your friend's behavior is his choice and he'll lie in his made bed.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

The other night I found out that my boss (a woman) is considering trooning out and it's left a sick feeling in the back of my throat ever since. I know for a fact it's going to completely destroy the fucking dynamic of the cozy workplace and say goodbye to the fun drinking nights out when she'll be necking her boypills and having major meltdowns over fucking nothing.

What's bizarre is that even if she goes through with it she's only ever going to end up looking like a manlet.

From the Tranny Social media thread and well, I guess it's now applicable here considering I've lost her.

She got into a massive argument at work with her lesbian gf, drove off to be 'with family' and after a few days of radio silence it's emerged that she actually went on a massive bender with some of her lgbt friends in another city and hung herself in a hotel. All I can say is that it's completely fucking surreal to see the entire workplace just completely unaware of what to do about it, nobody is using her 'deadname' but there's now a separate work groupchat about what to do in "his memory" where absolutely everyone is walking on eggshells.

The first co-worker death I've ever experienced and of course it was a tranny.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

From the Tranny Social media thread and well, I guess it's now applicable here considering I've lost her.

She got into a massive argument at work with her lesbian gf, drove off to be 'with family' and after a few days of radio silence it's emerged that she actually went on a massive bender with some of her lgbt friends in another city and hung herself in a hotel. All I can say is that it's completely fucking surreal to see the entire workplace just completely unaware of what to do about it, nobody is using her 'deadname' but there's now a separate work groupchat about what to do in "his memory" where absolutely everyone is walking on eggshells.

The first co-worker death I've ever experienced and of course it was a tranny.

-hung herself
-actually died

Maybe she would have passed as a male after all.

Gallows humor aside (heh), sorry you are getting dragged into all that drama.

 

[Alouatta Simia Belzebul]

Found out someone I really despise is transitioning, this evening. (Although no steps taken so far except dyeing her hair orange). I really don't want anyone to fuck themselves up physically with any of this medical bullshit. And yet.

 

[Sissyagamben]

Is there anything I can say or do, or does this just have to run its course? I'm likely more tolerant towards trans shit than the average kiwi, but I'm very much aware and critical of the issues in the community. Meanwhile, he just appears to be parroting things he's been told by others, because I've heard the things he's said almost verbatim hundreds of times. I'm concerned it's going to get worse.

It's like a zombie virus, at some point you gotta throw out the whole baby with the bathwater. Feeling like you have to walk on eggshell all time means the friendship has in fact soured, and it is not guaranteed he will not turn on you one day. It usually starts with the more trivial things like famous comedian and writer, then it will start getting real and tangible. It doesn't really matter what a fren think about celebrities, but when it comes to real life, real people, real politics, it can get very nasty. At first it's agree to disagree about some famous guy, then it will be someone you both know, and sooner or later it will be something you did, or something he did . Or God forbid your children. Never associate with anyone who has the potential to troon out your kids. For your own sanity, it might be necessary to slowly disengage with him if he becomes more radical, and you feel more and more hesitant to speak your mind.

I hope he will come to his senses on day, there aren't much you can do about it. Troonism is different from many other ideologies in its heavily emotional element and narc techniques, anything that feels offensive or could potentially "hurtful" to the delusion will be instantaneously rejected. Even with regular politics, hardly can anyone change someone else's mind. It is possible to peak a normie who has no real convictions either way, or someone just thinks it's just like the gays and hadn't given it a thought. Sounds like he's already recruited by the other side. I'm hopeful the jihad will commence within the next decade and we will all realize trooning is lobotomy x 100

 

[Varsha Nagini]

You may remember me from the ex-fujoshi friend I converted, well, as I live in troon central, I did unfortunately just lose someone else. Total ftm manlet has gone through 'top surgery' and was posting pics in the server yesterday grinning and they're just so sore and painful to look at my own chest hurts gazing at it. Needless to say I'm hanging out with them less IRL but they keep talking about wanting to come over and help me with stuff (which ordinarily would be nice) but I cannot help but feel it's post-op opioids talking and they've just signed onto a world of hurt. I couldn't bring myself to look until today, it was just so awful to gaze at. So fucking red.

But they're so happy looking - in the moment - so I just, I can't bring myself to say anything. I won't, it's not my place, the paths have been walked, I just feel a tremendous loss.

It's too late. They're in their 20s too. So young...

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

The first co-worker death I've ever experienced and of course it was a tranny.

At least it's over now and she won't throw giant transtrums at work and cause more tranny drama.

 

[Sissyagamben]

You may remember me from the ex-fujoshi friend I converted, well, as I live in troon central, I did unfortunately just lose someone else. Total ftm manlet has gone through 'top surgery' and was posting pics in the server yesterday grinning and they're just so sore and painful to look at my own chest hurts gazing at it. Needless to say I'm hanging out with them less IRL but they keep talking about wanting to come over and help me with stuff (which ordinarily would be nice) but I cannot help but feel it's post-op opioids talking and they've just signed onto a world of hurt. I couldn't bring myself to look until today, it was just so awful to gaze at. So fucking red.

But they're so happy looking - in the moment - so I just, I can't bring myself to say anything. I won't, it's not my place, the paths have been walked, I just feel a tremendous loss.

It's too late. They're in their 20s too. So young...

She’s trying to come over and harvest sympathy validation and brownie points from you. They are in no position to help with anything involving any physical tasks, they can’t even raise their arms above the chest, or eat with utensils, or really anything. Maybe I’m too cynical…

Sorry for your loss, it’s really jarring to see someone close go through that. There’s this really unsettling feeling that if I were just a little bit crazier, that could’ve been me.

 

[Vinegar Lover]

1: Tell her that you love her, and always the and her to be a part of the family.

2: Tell her that you will be glad to support her in getting therapy and seeing a doctor for her mental problems.

3: Tell her in no uncertain terms that you will absolutely not refer to her by male pronouns or a male name.

4: Tell her that you will refuse to help her with destroying her life. Because the pronouns and male name is only the first step. When she’s still feeling like shit and the first “Gender euphoria” passes, she will get on T and all the rest of it.

And as for “protecting your kid”… Dear Kiwi… Just by having someone in your life and referring to them by a male name, you’re creating some unnecessary confusion and doubt in the young mind.

Way late replying to this but this is great advice. I sent it to my wife. For my kid, thankfully don't have to see her too often so it's been a non-issue so far.

 

[William Tyndale]

'Why is it so hard just to be nice to people and leave them alone? 'Woke' people just want to improve things, why is that so wrong?'

“One of the great mistakes is to judge policies and programs by their intentions rather than their results.” - Milton Friedman

 

[AfghanBlue]

From the Tranny Social media thread and well, I guess it's now applicable here considering I've lost her.

She got into a massive argument at work with her lesbian gf, drove off to be 'with family' and after a few days of radio silence it's emerged that she actually went on a massive bender with some of her lgbt friends in another city and hung herself in a hotel. All I can say is that it's completely fucking surreal to see the entire workplace just completely unaware of what to do about it, nobody is using her 'deadname' but there's now a separate work groupchat about what to do in "his memory" where absolutely everyone is walking on eggshells.

The first co-worker death I've ever experienced and of course it was a tranny.

holy fucking hell, man.
thats heavy as shit. sorry you're all going through that.
so, like, how long had she been a 'him' with a new name, which everyone is now using in death? fucking weird shit.

 

[Jarry Seinfelt]

Turned on the PS5 for the first time in a few weeks to see my probable chaser cousin playing Hogwarts Legacy. Still getting texts every so often about wanting a trans girlfriend or whatever, but lol, lmao even.

I think next time I get some shit about how he's gonna buy Bud Light in bulk if it gets the attention of a "beautiful trans woman" (ugh) I'm just gonna drop my normal line on him, that other peoples' sexual preferences are just straight up not my business. I assume this is either a pornsick thing or him feeling like he's got to lower his standards, but again, goddamn I don't want to think about what anyone else is jacking it to.

Also remembered an old acquaintance of mine who's now FTM. I stopped hanging out when she was around after she went on this weird lolbertarian bit about how some kids are smart and mature enough to consent. Now she's transitioning, changed her name to (I think) a video game character's, and is only on those fringe tranny social media networks like Mastodon. That one I purely feel bad for, because there was probably some molestation/abuse going on in her life. I know that I shouldn't, because "oh some kids are smart enough to consent" is deeply fucked up thinking which can lead down the dark road of actually acting out pedophilia, but it's probably because of how we're conditioned to react towards women vs. how we're conditioned to react towards men or whatever.

 

[Ser Prize]

@PoisonedBun

There's a reason many of us aren't tolerant of it. You found it out first hand. Tolerance leads to where we are now.

 

[Mrs. Addams]

My poor, messed-up, trans friend (who I keep failing to ditch) has connected to the local LGBT agency and they've popped him into a group with three other trans people, and two therapist, to fast track their surgery approval letters. He's loopy as heck, and can't reliably make doctor's appointments or drive himself to get groceries or meds. If they approve him for a thing that requires years of painful dilation... there's gotta be a way this can turn into malpractice.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

there's gotta be a way this can turn into malpractice.

There isn't, that's the entire genius of tranny ideology. Doctors know fine well that the majority of their trans patients aren't going to dilate properly and will lead to serious medical complications over time + high suicide risk, but as long as they repeatedly push the seriousness of dilation and how often it needs to be done, they're completely covered.

They can give patients all the dilation toys in the world, it's not going to be anything like the real thing when you're pushing a plastic object in between two layers of flesh in the hope that it doesn't seal up.