Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[teriyakiburns]

I have no idea what this is like to endure. Can you even try to add a dose of sanity or spend time with him doing normal things?

Unfortunately, I live too far away to have a real input. I say things to my brother when I get the chance, though.

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

My second cousin's daughter. She's 15, I think. I remember playing with her when she was a little kid. I added her on Facebook and noticed some stuff like drawing OCs and liking anime too much but hey, I was like that too! Then she started posting some disturbing drawings of masculine figures and saying that it was herself. On her Instagram her friends call her a masculine name. I asked my father what was going on and he confirmed that she was falling into the troon bullshit and my cousin is desperate.
I am not close enough to have a heart to heart talk but we are building a relationship over the stuff we like. Next family reunion I hope she's there. I might give some help. I don't know. I just remember that sweet little kid playing with barbies and it just breaks my heart.

 

[AverageQuarianEnjoyer]

Families may talk about "this gender crap" around the dinner table, but in broader society it is still very taboo to say that transmen aren't men. Practically every makeup company has a couple men in lipstick and dresses marketing their products. Just took sexual harassment training at my job last week and they had a module on respecting pronouns and gender identity. The pendulum has a way to go.

Tomorrow is June so the next few weeks will probably prove your point in spectacular fashion.

 

[Flamin Park]

She's definitely been through something, or she wouldn't go through most of a wine bottle a night.
We mostly speak Chinese which has no gendered spoken pronouns, but she has a feminine English name.
I will what you suggest and discourage self-pigeonholing, there are three billion ways to be a girl.

Tell her 'chinga Chong Ching Ching? Ah chonga Chong Ching Chong!'

 

[Flexo]

My second cousin's daughter. She's 15, I think. I remember playing with her when she was a little kid. I added her on Facebook and noticed some stuff like drawing OCs and liking anime too much but hey, I was like that too! Then she started posting some disturbing drawings of masculine figures and saying that it was herself. On her Instagram her friends call her a masculine name. I asked my father what was going on and he confirmed that she was falling into the troon bullshit and my cousin is desperate.
I am not close enough to have a heart to heart talk but we are building a relationship over the stuff we like. Next family reunion I hope she's there. I might give some help. I don't know. I just remember that sweet little kid playing with barbies and it just breaks my heart.

"The grass is always greener - because it's hard to see the bad spots from the other side of the fence" or something.

There was a post - I'll probably never be able to find it, it was reddit maybe? tumblr? - where a TIF started complaining about just how alone and isolated she started feeling once society identified her as a man. (Nora from the book, "Self-made man" expressed something similar.) I could be wrong, but it has been my observation that a lot of transgendered people have this idealized view of the opposite sex without any awareness of all the stuff that makes it suck (being a man or woman).

I wouldn't say find that post and read it out to her verbatim but maybe... figure out some way to bitch about the ways it sucks being a guy when you hang out with her? Try to really convey that whatever she imagines being a guy to be, it's way worse than that.

 

[Flamin Park]

Roid rage isn't really a thing, in my opinion at least. It's just people that are bad at managing their feelings. And those people have a tendency to go for roids. It's like blaming alcohol for acting like a retard. Yes, it makes it easier to do dumb shit. But if you got the basics in self-awareness, it's a non-issue.

Blaming drugs is just a scapegoat.

Test yes

Tren rage on the other hand, I was completely fine and chilled but the longer I was on tren the more nuts I got
Only realised when someone stopped on an amber light infornt of me when I was running late for work and I had to stop myself dragging them out the car and slamming the door on their head because it felt like they'd done it on purpose to make me angry or laugh at me

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

"The grass is always greener - because it's hard to see the bad spots from the other side of the fence" or something.

There was a post - I'll probably never be able to find it, it was reddit maybe? tumblr? - where a TIF started complaining about just how alone and isolated she started feeling once society identified her as a man. (Nora from the book, "Self-made man" expressed something similar.) I could be wrong, but it has been my observation that a lot of transgendered people have this idealized view of the opposite sex without any awareness of all the stuff that makes it suck (being a man or woman).

I wouldn't say find that post and read it out to her verbatim but maybe... figure out some way to bitch about the ways it sucks being a guy when you hang out with her? Try to really convey that whatever she imagines being a guy to be, it's way worse than that.

I am a True and Honest woman so that wouldn't work, but thanks for the suggestion though

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

I am a True and Honest woman so that wouldn't work, but thanks for the suggestion though

Here's a comprehensive list, just in case

- Social isolation, people stop giving a shit about you cause you're a man. Nobody will "want" to talk to you anymore and will take less interest in you as a person. In fact most people will purposefully avoid you cause you either seem like a creep, you seem replaceable or they just don't care. The male psychology is equipped to handle this biologically but for a woman it takes a ton of painful reconditioning, which might not be successful in most cases.

-All the hair and hormonal changes, it doesn't seem like a thing which women would want personally from the ones I've interacted with. T makes you a lot more active and angry than you usually would be. And if you don't spend those muscles properly either you become fat or they get atrophied and hurt.

-Self dependency, you're on your own. The only people who will willingly help you will be your parents, even that rarely. You'll be expected to handle everything for yourself and help other people too if you want to avoid the selfish prick label. Again male psychology encourages this cause of evolution but idk if women can handle it all the time.

-Output expectations, people will expect your work to be the best in any given field. You can't weasel your way out by blaming inexperience, they're either going to shame you or move on to somebody else who can meet their expectations. People will be harsher on you when and if you fail. There's no outs, no timeouts, no emotional support, you either survive or break. It's an unspoken rule among men that if you're a man your worth comes only fromwhat you can do and achieve, not personality interests strength of character or anything else.

That's all I could think of, as a true and honest man. I'm sure trans men have it better cause trans people are very coddled by society but in any case it would be a good thing to tell your niece what she's getting into. Hopefully she doesn't do it.

 

[Flexo]

I am a True and Honest woman so that wouldn't work, but thanks for the suggestion though

Can't be - you're on kiwifarms! We know the G.I.R.L. rule.

Well then flip it around. Talk about how awesome it is to be a woman and you pity those poor men who aren't you.

 

[Gentamicin]

I am a True and Honest woman so that wouldn't work, but thanks for the suggestion though

Unleash your inner misandrist and make her feel guilty for even considering being a man. I learned the hard way that transmen hate when you talk about how creepy and gross some men can be.

Better advice would be to sit down and figure out why she wants to become a man. Assume sexual abuse occurred (or at very minimum, repeated sexual harassment), especially if she experiences any dysphoria about her chest. If she is attracted to women, let her know it’s okay. Show her that you can be a woman and still have masculine traits/interests.

I saw in one of these threads (the Mermaids one?) one of the cows was bitching about some guide to detransing your teen. The guide was from Graham Lineman I think, a guest writer for his substack blog. The first post was from January 18th of this year and it has 3 parts. Sending it to your cousin might help. It’s a process that takes a year or two and lots of patience.

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

The guide was from Graham Lineman I think, a guest writer for his substack blog. The first post was from January 18th of this year and it has 3 parts. Sending it to your cousin might help. It’s a process that takes a year or two and lots of patience.

Linehan is a washed up british celeb writer best known for creating Father Ted and The IT Crowd, who got divorced blacklisted and made penniless by troons in the UK for being a TERF. Hes a very notable "transphobe" and the troons will never let others listen to them as people, theyre the evil ones to them. I doubt telling a young girl to read something from literal satan would help, especially when shes already in the clutches of the community a bit. A reasonable caring family member is always better with the right information and right words.

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

If she is attracted to women, let her know it’s okay. Show her that you can be a woman and still have masculine traits/interests.

That would be interesting and hits close to home, so it would be easier to talk about and be relatable.

Thank you guys.

 

[Gentamicin]

Linehan is a washed up british celeb writer best known for creating Father Ted and The IT Crowd, who got divorced blacklisted and made penniless by troons in the UK for being a TERF. Hes a very notable "transphobe" and the troons will never let others listen to them as people, theyre the evil ones to them. I doubt telling a young girl to read something from literal satan would help, especially when shes already in the clutches of the community a bit. A reasonable caring family member is always better with the right information and right words.

I don’t know anything about him, thanks for the info. I intended to recommend the article for the mom of the daughter, which I assumed was the second cousin. Second cousins and all that always confused me so I may have gotten that mixed up. The article was interesting though. Basically the mom isolated the daughter from her internet gender-cult friends, monitored what she did after school, built a stronger bond between the mother and daughter, and (after building that bond) showed her anti-trans YouTube videos and books. She based her strategy on parents who try to help their children leave cults.

 

[AMHOLIO]

@Foxymophandlemama A strange thing I'd try to convey is the "It gets better" mentality we used to teach gay teens back in the early 2010s. Being a teen is hard, being in a state of mind where the world is always out to kill you is hard, remember that it gets better. Whatever other trans people or lgbt peopleher age say, handling things like emotions and expectations becomes better as an adult and you can make friends easier as well as choose not to engage in things you don't like. Just because Johnny TwoTroon says that they're going to start murdering people in Florida doesn't mean it's true, and by god it doesn't mean the world is horrendous and she will never find anything good, she should not give up on it. And if everyone else says she's a bitch for doing something, like say disagreeing with a belief or detransitioning, make sure she questions why and knows she should always make the choice that SHE feels is right and not let others force her into something.

Trooning feels like a death cult. Make sure to let her know you're here for her and that there's help for always feeling like shit mental illness or just teen malaise wise, and if she questions something, don't let her kowtow to others. It's painful at that age and hard to stop since losing friends is hard, but it's still better to have in the back of your head so hopefully you can act on it one day.

 

[quackrock]

Linehan is a washed up british celeb writer best known for creating Father Ted and The IT Crowd, who got divorced blacklisted and made penniless by troons in the UK for being a TERF. Hes a very notable "transphobe" and the troons will never let others listen to them as people, theyre the evil ones to them. I doubt telling a young girl to read something from literal satan would help, especially when shes already in the clutches of the community a bit. A reasonable caring family member is always better with the right information and right words.

Alternatively, he's a famous TV writer of a show many nerdy kids like who bravely spoke out against troon insanity and got blackballed for it. Everyone and anyone who disagrees with troon activists is a "transphobe," including and especially reasonable caring family members.

 

[Tony Vivaldi]

I'm fucking confused to this fucking trend. There is not one person I know who trooned the fuck out, or knows a troon, or is related to a troon.

I've got vaccine-taking family members, Ukraine supporting family members--you know, the current thing idiots--I've even got JEWS in my family (blech, fucking gross, unfortunately through in-law marriage) but not one of them or anyone they know is a fucking troon.

 

[Toolbox]

I'm fucking confused to this fucking trend. There is not one person I know who trooned the fuck out, or knows a troon, or is related to a troon.

I've got vaccine-taking family members, Ukraine supporting family members--you know, the current thing idiots--I've even got JEWS in my family (blech, fucking gross, unfortunately through in-law marriage) but not one of them or anyone they know is a fucking troon.

Consider yourself one of the lucky ones. Try and ensure that none of them even consider the idea.

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

Alternatively, he's a famous TV writer of a show many nerdy kids like who bravely spoke out against troon insanity and got blackballed for it. Everyone and anyone who disagrees with troon activists is a "transphobe," including and especially reasonable caring family members.

Fair but he's a troon casualty and at this point he's pretty out there to the point where he describes Twitter as a second brain. Not a healthy mindset.

I don’t know anything about him, thanks for the info. I intended to recommend the article for the mom of the daughter, which I assumed was the second cousin. Second cousins and all that always confused me so I may have gotten that mixed up. The article was interesting though. Basically the mom isolated the daughter from her internet gender-cult friends, monitored what she did after school, built a stronger bond between the mother and daughter, and (after building that bond) showed her anti-trans YouTube videos and books. She based her strategy on parents who try to help their children leave cults.

I still personally think it would be better if family is active with the teen, cause there are tons of great anti trans resources out there, there's an article called the saga of sage describing how a teenager was groomed on discord to become a boy as a pretense to being trafficked as a prostitute round the states, there's Abigail Schriers book I forgot its name which details how trans ideology works in teenage girls and preys upon their body insecurity, couple other stuff. The thing is teenagers won't read them cause they either got no patience or calls those resources transphobic.

 

[Baraadmirer]

there's Abigail Schriers book I forgot its name which details how trans ideology works in teenage girls and preys upon their body insecurity

You may be thinking of Irreversible Damage.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Alternatively, he's a famous TV writer of a show many nerdy kids like who bravely spoke out against troon insanity and got blackballed for it. Everyone and anyone who disagrees with troon activists is a "transphobe," including and especially reasonable caring family members.

He's the guy who doesn't care if you're an Iranian woman who's had surgeries and hormones. Sounds pretty pro-trans to me.