Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[indomitable snowman]

There are a couple ways to do doughless pizza. You have Fathead dough, which is mozzarella with an egg and some almond flour, Chicken Crust, which you used canned shredded chicken as your protein with some binders to keep it together and cauliflower crust. (Being the healthiest option, so we know Jack won't have any of it.)

I have to eat gluten free so I have tried and made some "dough less" pizzas. They are all disappointing in different ways. Chicken was strange and I wouldn't make it again. cauliflower can be good, but can also leave a bad taste. It's best when it's mixed with other GF flours. I did make one that Jack would like. I used Italian sausage and molded it into a crust shape. Cooked it and added toppings. It was super greasy.
Worst was using garbanzo beans "flour" which may have been bad and I think I threw it out after a slice.



Will have to try eggplant sometime.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Also I think if you make pizza dough you should use a TINY amount of yeast, but let it age for at least three days before using it. Don't knead, let the yeast do the work (a real lazy man tip). At about a week it makes good sourdough-like breadsticks.

I normally make a poolish. Equal amounts of water and flour by weight then a small amount of yeast to get it going. Let it do it's thing in a warm part of the kitchen for a day or so. Then mix it with regular flour, water and yeast to finish the dough. Let it rise, punch it down, fold over a couple times. Rise, punch it down and form into balls. Let them rest and relax for a bit. The dough should be elastic at this point but not too tight that it keeps pulling back when forming it.

My personal opinion about cast iron skillet pizza is the crust should be thin, spread out entirely to the edges, the sauce and toppings should extend to the utmost edge of the skillet, so it gets a nice crispy edge to it,

I approve. It's like a thin crust Detroit style.

I have to eat gluten free so I have tried and made some "dough less" pizzas. They are all disappointing in different ways. Chicken was strange and I wouldn't make it again. cauliflower can be good, but can also leave a bad taste. It's best when it's mixed with other GF flours. I did make one that Jack would like. I used Italian sausage and molded it into a crust shape. Cooked it and added toppings. It was super greasy.
Worst was using garbanzo beans "flour" which may have been bad and I think I threw it out after a slice.



Will have to try eggplant sometime.

The problem is that you can never replace a pizza crust with gluten free and have it taste just as good. You're going to miss that chew and flavor that gluten brings to wheat products.

The best option is to use gluten free flours. It's never going to be exact but you can get a good approximation by trying.

 

[Tiresome]

Will have to try eggplant sometime.

Eggplant pizza is delicious, as long as you remember to salt the slices and let them rest between paper towels to draw out the moisture, and then go very very light on the oil.

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

Eggplant pizza is delicious, as long as you remember to salt the slices and let them rest between paper towels to draw out the moisture, and then go very very light on the oil.

Alright, this might just be my inner Jagoff Scalfatty speaking.

I, personally, am a huge eggplant enjoyer. The idea of some baked eggplant slices with tomato sauce, some cheese and meat sounds great.

But eggplant pizza sounds like it'd fall apart the instant you tried to pick up a slice. So how do you eat it? Do you take a layer, put it on a plate and scoop bits off it with a spoon?

How about this: LAYER IT, like a bastardized moussaka. Like a bastardized lasagna. That way you'd be able to cook more of it per shelf in your oven, while also being able to serve it by the "brick"

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Good lord, Jack's dough is so pathetically cracker-like. That's some bad pizza. He'd have been better off just using a piece of naan as the base instead. It would taste way better than that shit. That's a pizza hack that Scalfani is too stupid to use, and I bet Scrotfani doesn't even know what naan is with his American McFatass diet.

Drunk and want a quick ghetto pizza that tastes better than lunchables shit? Use naan.

Alright, this might just be my inner Jagoff Scalfatty speaking.

I, personally, am a huge eggplant enjoyer. The idea of some baked eggplant slices with tomato sauce, some cheese and meat sounds great.

But eggplant pizza sounds like it'd fall apart the instant you tried to pick up a slice. So how do you eat it? Do you take a layer, put it on a plate and scoop bits off it with a spoon?

How about this: LAYER IT, like a bastardized moussaka or a bastardized lasagna. That way you'd be able to cook more of it per shelf in your oven, while also being able to serve it by the "brick"

You could do that or you could cook it less, use salt to try to draw out some of the bitterness before cooking.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Alright, this might just be my inner Jagoff Scalfatty speaking.

I, personally, am a huge eggplant enjoyer. The idea of some baked eggplant slices with tomato sauce, some cheese and meat sounds great.

But eggplant pizza sounds like it'd fall apart the instant you tried to pick up a slice. So how do you eat it? Do you take a layer, put it on a plate and scoop bits off it with a spoon?

How about this: LAYER IT, like a bastardized moussaka. Like a bastardized lasagna. That way you'd be able to cook more of it per shelf in your oven, while also being able to serve it by the "brick"

So... kinda like eggplant parmesan but with pizza ingredients then.

 

[densedance]

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

I like how Rob went to COPEnhagen.

The way Jack eats food is so fucking horrifying and hilarious now. He attacks it basically and tries to swallow as much whole. He did this sorta in the past but the extent it is now is disgusting. He complained about the crab ragoon having no filling. I would have been ok with that, if he hadn't immediately tongued the fuck out of the rest of it. So gross. I figure he did that then forgot he did it, complained, and went right back to doing it.

He also said they didn't take any of the food leftover home, but it was an A? Of course the only thing he really liked was the plate of piled high meats.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Rob scheduled this video at the exact same time as Jack's. The madman Great juxtaposition too, with Rob and his lovely wife walking around a beautiful city, taking in the sights and enjoying an authentic Danish meal, versus Jack shoveling cheap strip mall slop into his face and mooing "GUD".

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Funny thing to me is that Jackoff could avoided a lot of this if he had:

1) Taken the Bible seriously and treated his body as a temple to God instead of Gluttony.
2) Just have taken walks around the neighborhood a few times a week for at least a mile.
3) Grew up and realized recooking goyslop and eating it in huge amounts from slop vendors was not the way to go.
4) Actually listened to his doctors and PTs.

Rob is also a fat fuck like Jack, but clearly, he is doing something different and I am assuming he just gets more exercise despite outeating it. He also seems to appreciate food by its merits, not just how much is piled on a plate at once.

 

[AnOminous]

Great juxtaposition too, with Rob and his lovely wife walking around a beautiful city, taking in the sights and enjoying an authentic Danish meal, versus Jack shoveling cheap strip mall slop into his face and mooing "GUD".

Rob looks like he's getting some exercise, and ate some healthy food with lots of greenery on it. Jack is eating fast food slop and looks like he's about to die and probably couldn't walk ten feet.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

What the fuck is Jack talking about the south not having asian restaurants? I've been in bumfuck, middle of nowhere, neighborhoods built with little old churches in the center, kind of southern towns that had sushi places. They weren't near the coast either.

Granted, they sucked. But they had them.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

What the fuck is Jack talking about the south not having asian restaurants? I've been in bumfuck, middle of nowhere, neighborhoods built with little old churches in the center, kind of southern towns that had sushi places. They weren't near the coast either.

Granted, they sucked. But they had them.

Hilarious Part is there are parts of the South with rich Asian History

https://youtu.be/2NMrqGHr5zE

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Rob once again shows us how it should be done. They're in Copenhagen, they're enjoying themselves eating actualy Danish food. Jagoff is in some some small town North American "Asian" restaurant which serves slop. Rob even gets in a dig at Jagoff as he's doing his own version of "restaurant roulette".

Who do you think had the best video?

Rob is also a fat fuck like Jack, but clearly, he is doing something different and I am assuming he just gets more exercise despite outeating it. He also seems to appreciate food by its merits, not just how much is piled on a plate at once.

Rob also seems to be a nice guy. He's always positive, soft spoken and has a good relationship with his wife.

Yeah he's a fat fuck but he's also able to walk without blowing how his tendons and hasn't had a bunch of strokes.

 

[ZipDisk]

Holy shit, has Jack seriously managed to gain more weight?
At least the EMT's are in line behind him if he strokes the fuck out from sodium.

Jack is incredibly rude, but still gives the place an A.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

The phlegmy, wet rumble to his voice makes it almost unbearable to watch now. The sexual reassignment surgery thread doesnt gross me out nearly as much as Jack now adays.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

The phlegmy, wet rumble to his voice makes it almost unbearable to watch now. The sexual reassignment surgery thread doesnt gross me out nearly as much as Jack now adays.

The way his mouth moves is just unsettling. It's not normal and it's worse if you pay attention to his tongue as he speaks. He's having obvious trouble forming the proper words.

And yet he continues as he has all these years thinking he's somehow fine.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Rob scheduled this video at the exact same time as Jack's. The madman Great juxtaposition too, with Rob and his lovely wife walking around a beautiful city, taking in the sights and enjoying an authentic Danish meal, versus Jack shoveling cheap strip mall slop into his face and mooing "GUD".

That looked like standard-issue mall/airport food court Asian. What's next, he's going to try out Sbarro?

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

That looked like standard-issue mall/airport food court Asian. What's next, he's going to try out Sbarro?

My question is why didn't he just go into Nashville and find some actual good Asian restaurants? Not like Nashville is on the moon from Hendersonville. Back before he was on stroke 2324, he actually did go into downtown Nashville on occasion for his Jacking Off on the Go series.

Looks like their house went pending, so either the buyers secured financing and/or have their current house under contract.



If I were buying that, I would have a priest exorcise the house first of any remaining wendigo spirits before I moved even a piece of toilet paper in there.

 

[Super Hans v2]

My question is why didn't he just go into Nashville

Too many colored people.