What are some of your "warning sign" bands? - When you hear someone says they like X band then it's time to ask for the check.

[Aiōn]

I haven’t personally encountered it but ’scat jazz’ springs to mind.
Also, anyone who views GG Allin as a role model.. hard pass.

 

[TVB]

Also, anyone who views GG Allin as a role model.. hard pass.

I don't think a lot of people would ironically use GG Allin as a true role model. People just view him as a true real-life shitposter.

 

[Smar Mijou]

Any cult of personality types that no one can criticize.

Beyonce seems to have faded into the background, so my Queen of Red Flags at this point is Taylor Swift.

Ugh... the "Beyhive" are the worst, most idiotic, cultists. They literally worship everything that she does as if it's the greatest accomplishment in human history. Like troons to Kiwifarms, they will descend on Beyonce haters with fury and wrath if you dare suggest that she is anything less than the greatest human being that has ever walked the planet...

For some reason, most of the devout "Swifties" that I know are lesbians who somehow found that out after having kids. Seriously, I know of at least 6 with anywhere from 1 to 3 kids who are now "lesbians" that completely bought into her "wronged by an ex-boyfriend" shtick that she's been pedaling for the past decade or more.

Insane Clown Pussies, maybe that's pretty low hanging fruit but they bear mentioning anyway because they've endured for far longer than they should have. Though it seems like the Juggalo thing is pretty dead.

I think the juggalo scene is the dumbest fucking "movement" I've ever witnessed in my entire life. Like Deadheads with even more weed and even less aspirations in life. Every juggalo that I've ever encountered in person has been un/underemployed, and reeks of stale weed, with welfare as their main source of income. Why entire hoards of people decided to coalesce and form a lifestyle around a skinny tweaker and Guy Fieri in clown makeup who make shit "music" and turned Faygo into a meme, I'll never know. But to be fair, the guys in ICP seem to be self-aware of their bizarre and unlikely successes and just seem to roll with it.

On that note Evanescence. The fans are chicks who are way too old to be dressing goth but still try because they are white trash. 100% of these women believe in ghosts and think they have had close encounters. Absolutely batshit and will try to live in your house. Run.

Agree here, but man... those Emo/Scene girls that were into Evanescence circa 2008 hit all the right buttons for me. Not someone you'd want to bring home to mom, but one that you'd gladly go a couple rounds with in the sack!

I was thinking of what would be the pop version of KISS or Motley Crue, ie bands that were hugely popular but we can never find anyone who actually claims to like them: Train. Never encountered anybody who likes their music but they always seem to be big.

Maroon 5. Their shit is "popular" and Adam Levine has his face plastered everywhere, but I don't think there are 10 people in the entire US, including Adam Levine himself, who could name all the other members of the band, or pick them out of a lineup.

I'm shocked no one has brought up Queen yet. I admit, I wasn't around when they were still active. From what people have told me, though, they weren't nearly as popular back in their time as they are now. I enjoy some Queen songs myself, but a lot of these Zoomer fans are clearly into them because "OMG Freddy was so gaaaaay!" They're basic pick-me bitches who think liking Queen makes them seem cool (it doesn't).

Disagree on the popularity part. Just watch their Live Aid performance, or the Wembley Stadium performance. Freddie was a master showman and especially at Live Aid even with dozens of other famous bands, he had the entire stadium eating out of his hand.

I agree that Queen got wrapped up in modern identity politics because Freddie Mercury was The Big Gay, and now that's trendy, so people latch onto that.



As far as the bandwagon fans or drama hangers-on,they're completely insufferable regardless of what genre of music that youre into. I'm a big Van Halen fan, and people will STILL get into huge, seething back and forth arguments about Sammy Hagar Vs DLR TO. THIS. DAY. It's literally been almost 40 years since the whole lead singer controversy. Get over it!

 

[TVB]

Agree here, but man... those Emo/Scene girls that were into Evanescence circa 2008 hit all the right buttons for me. Not someone you'd want to bring home to mom, but one that you'd gladly go a couple rounds with in the sack!

Actually 2004 to 07 onward. Believe me, I remember the emo craze during my middle school years in the mid-2000s.

 

[Calandrino]

Fuck Mozart. All of my homies listen to Fredrick Chopin.

When somebody says Mozart and Beethoven are overrated and Citizen Kane isn't such a great movie, you gotta watch out because you're dealing with a highly original independent thinker who doesn't play by society's rules

 

[Smar Mijou]

When somebody says Mozart and Beethoven are overrated and Citizen Kane isn't such a great movie, you gotta watch out because you're dealing with a highly original independent thinker who doesn't play by society's rules

Nigga plz, I was listening to Greensleeves before it was cool!

I'm being facetious of course, but this touches on another point about any musical genre and the gatekeepers from some of the fanbase against anyone who *DARES* to be a casual listener! It usually seems to be more of a symptom with prog rock/metal fans for the obvious reasons, but really any long-tenured musician will attract these type of insufferable spergs. These are the ones who insist that you're not a TRUE FAN unless you listen to EVERY SINGLE SONG ON EVERY SINGLE ALBUM EVER PUT OUT BY THE BAND AND EVERY MEMBER OF THE BAND IN ANY PREVIOUS OR SUBSEQUENT BAND!!!1!!121! I get if a band has a concept album with songs with arching themes, The Who's "Tommy" or "Quadrophenia" or Queensrÿche's "Operation: Mindcrime" as perfect examples, of where you might want to listen to the whole thing thing to get the whole concept. But if you think that because I might like a Coheed And Cambria song, that I need to listen to everything they've ever put out because they have a 15 album arc over bellybutton lint that has became sentient and achieved true enlightenment, you can get fucked. Or that I can't possibly be a Buckethead fan because I don’t have all 837* albums on vinyl, cassette, CD, and 8 track, or versed in his lore. Insane Clown Posse has Lore for fucks sake! The people who insist that you can only like one type of music and have to dress or act a certain way are the close-minded idiots. I might listen to Hank Jr. one minute, some hair metal the next, and Daft Punk after that, so I guess that I just don't see why people feel the need to gatekeep and discriminate over the most subjective and personal of things such as music?

*I wrote the Buckethead statement a few minutes ago. The total count is now up to 841 albums.

 

[TVB]

When somebody says Mozart and Beethoven are overrated and Citizen Kane isn't such a great movie, you gotta watch out because you're dealing with a highly original independent thinker who doesn't play by society's rules

There are the same independent thinkers who think respective works of William Shakespeare and Alfred Hitchcock are also overrated

 

[Raging Capybara]

White people who pretend to enjoy rap. Bro, everyone knows Homo Sapiens are not meant to listen to this drivel. Let this noise for the chimps and act like a bipedal species.

 

[TVB]

White people who pretend to enjoy rap. Bro, everyone knows Homo Sapiens are not meant to listen to this drivel. Let this noise for the chimps and act like a bipedal species.

They are posers who only listen to just mainstream radio-friendly rap from Snoop Dogg or Eminem, but not get into the actual genre.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Any fan of Doja Cat is an absolute thot, every time. Better double bag it because her body count likely cracked the triple digits before she turned 21 and lets guys hit it without a condom.

If you fuck or date a girl who is into Lana Del Rey, she will likely accuse you of rape and/or abuse at some point. Save your receipts and make sure there aren’t any bunnies available to boil near by. Your car will probably get keyed some day out of the blue as well as get cryptic messages from random phone numbers.

Any fan of Beyoncé in current year plus eight are either upper middle class white girls with horn rimmed glasses or ghetto ratchets who will randomly start twerking in the most inappropriate of places.

 

[Chad Holdenford]

This is based on my personal experiences with fans of the following Brazilian genres.

Sertanejo and Forró: Mediocre thot with nothing to add to anybody whatsoever.
Funk Carioca: Unrepentent nigger.
Samba and Pagode: Slightly more educated nigger.
MPB: Pedantic upper-class faggot that pretends to care about social issues.
Brazilian Rock: A slightly more educated (and thus smug) version of the Sertanejo and Forró fan.
Brazilian Rap: A mix between the Samba and MPB fans, with varying degrees of melanin.

 

[TVB]

This is based on my personal experiences with fans of the following Brazilian genres.

Sertanejo and Forró: Mediocre thot with nothing to add to anybody whatsoever.
Funk Carioca: Unrepentent nigger.
Samba and Pagode: Slightly more educated nigger.
MPB: Pedantic upper-class faggot that pretends to care about social issues.
Brazilian Rock: A slightly more educated (and thus smug) version of the Sertanejo and Forró fan.
Brazilian Rap: A mix between the Samba and MPB fans, with varying degrees of melanin.

What about Brazilian bossa nova?

 

[Chad Holdenford]

What about Brazian bossa nova?

See MPB.

 

[TVB]

See MPB.

Fair enough

 

[rrtyui]

-The Velvet Underground (after & Nico)
You're pretending to like it because you heard the band was good.

-Sewerslut
You're trans and/or haven't heard any good new breakcore/dnb and are just going along with the zoom zoom trend. I like breakcore, but it's not a deep emotional genre, and it never will be. Just because video doc guy said it made him cry doesn't make it good music.

-Zalinki
If you listen to this guy you are tasteless and probably a sex pest.

-Deftones, Arctic Monkeys, Tool, The Pixies, Snot
The type of person to listen to any of these is a life-long SSRI taker.

-Guns N Roses, any "Dad Rock"
The fans are snobbish, and for no reason too, this shit might as well have been the goycattle national anthem for a couple decades. If you listen to this shit, you're not cool. Sorry to break it to you.

-Rap
Derivative non-humans. The exact reason why we as a species deserve to be treated like cattle.

-Hanatarash
Noise music has it's place but the average person who'd tell you they listen to this is definitely unwashed, and I'd keep them away from any children unsupervised.

-Obnoxious death metal (an example of a name would be like "Shooter Blood Goat Rape Murder Kill Vomit up Piss" and all the songs are 8 minutes of screaming)
If you ask for what music someone likes and they send you something like this they are trying to look cool and lying. Death metal is a psyop by big Shit Nobody Cares About.

 

[Smar Mijou]

Obnoxious death metal (an example of a name would be like "Shooter Blood Goat Rape Murder Kill Vomit up Piss" and all the songs are 8 minutes of screaming)
If you ask for what music someone likes and they send you something like this they are trying to look cool and lying. Death metal is a psyop by big Shit Nobody Cares About.

To me, shit like this is worse than mainstream rap, and about on par with mumble rap. For the life of me, I don't see how ANY of it could appeal to someone. It all sounds the same to me, with little to no melody, and barely, if at all decipherable vocals. I will give props to the drummers for those type of bands though, if they're not multi-tracking and/or using a drum machine, those fuckers are insanely talented.

 

[Pee Cola]

Someone mentioned Lewis Capaldi earlier. Not my kind of voice or music - he reminds me of Andrew Strong from The Commitments - but, unlike Strong, who was a complete wanker, Capaldi doesn't take himself too seriously and seems like a sweet lad. His pizza is nice too. Saying that, Ed Sheeran seems a decent sort too, even though I'd rather spoon my eyes out than hear one bar of his insipid music. Very wary of anyone who likes him - music for accountants and office workers with no imagination.

Sheeran and Capaldi are this generation's James Blunt: milquetoast music for the most mainstream of mainstream folks aged 8-80. Though in Blunty's defence, at least he's a bit of a badass: he served in the military and he's snarky af on Twitter. His music still blows though.

The only warning sign fans of these singers give off is that they may be incredibly dull, and that's OK. I wouldn't necessarily write someone off because they have an Ed Sheeran or James Blunt CD in their collection.

As for actual warning sign singers.... P!nk. These are usually chicks aged in their 40s who have at least one grandchild and/or constantly flirt with their adult kids' male friends.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Pink is the ultimate pickme singer. Her whole career and image is finely tuned while her whole message is that she’s not like the other pop singers and doesn’t care about her image, while singing slightly edgier bubblegum pop/adult contemporary. Then I remember she sang a song that was supposed to put Blumpf in his place! Of course it didn’t. Her whole awful career is all about what she isn’t, which is why I don’t think she ever will rank in anyone’s top pop singer list. Anyone who lists Pink as one of their favorites should be immediately treated with suspicion.

 

[mannic]

How has nobody mentioned Black Pink, EXO, and NCT? Yeah it counts as kpop. But those fans are more insane and are more likely to get into online slapfight unlike BTS fans. Also, all kpop fans are VERY parasocial. Don't shit with their idol or else they will get you trending in twitter and dox you.

 

[Calandrino]

If you ask for what music someone likes and they send you something like this they are trying to look cool and lying.

This is always the more optimistic interpretation