Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Kermit Jizz]

Are my eyes as bad as Jack's or do these two images have different saturation? He not only managed to duplicate the recipe but somehow managed to copy paste the same image differently? He even fucked up pasting the instructions. What a lazy prick actually charging money for this shit.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Lazy Man's Stroke Recipe: Eat shit and have a stroke.

 

[AnOminous]

What a lazy prick actually charging money for this shit.

I have a retard recipe that is basically take a can of Campbell's cream of mushroom soup, condensed, do not add milk, pour half of it in a casserole pan, throw in some pork chops with Negro favorite Lawry's seasoned salt, pour the rest of the soup in, cook at 350 until it's horrifying then eat that shit.

I'd rather eat that than Jack's bullshit.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

What a lazy prick actually charging money for this shit.

Fuck that, this is better value than every comedy show I've been to in the last year and a half. The chucklefucks doing night shows for $5 at my local cafe have nothing on this fucking clownshow.

 

[Agent Sandoval]

Step 1:
View attachment 5186134

This is giving me real mid-1900's community cookbook vibes. Since a lot of people didn't learn to cook from recipes you get instructions like:
"Add flour until dough is right consistency"
"Cook until done"
"Just bake til bubbly"
Of course in Jack's case it's several strokes induced by his awful cooking as opposed to never having had to write it all down before.

 

[TV's Adam West]

My fucking novelty cookbooks have more effort into them. The fucking Necronomnomnom has infinitely more and it's a fucking Chthulu cookbook.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Lazy Man's Stroke Recipe: Eat shit and have a stroke.

Followed by the Lazy Stroke Man's Recipe: Eat shit and die

 

[biggacracka]

Holy shit that "cookbook" is gold. I refuse to believe it's real but I know deep in my soul that it is.
What a fucking shitshow

 

[DeadwastePrime]

im not a cook or chef, but like even i would put the fucking effort into making a cookbook if i were one. this is like the way you dont make a cookbook. like a this is how you dont play dsp level effort into the thing

 

[Kermit Jizz]

My fucking novelty cookbooks have more effort into them. The fucking Necronomnomnom has infinitely more and it's a fucking Chthulu cookbook.

I was recently gifted one of those "ONE GORRILLION RECIPES FOR YOUR RICECOOKER" type cook books. It's full of typos and random gibberish to the point that it makes me think it was written by some pajeet and then translated via google. For instance, there's several recipes I have found that reference ingredients I have never heard of and return zero google results.

That book, on average, is still more coherent than Jack's book. At least the majority of the recipes are real and actually in the book without any youtube links.

 

[Judas Connor Moon]

Goddamn, page 5 had me rolling:
View attachment 5186093

EDIT: Oh shit, page 7 and 8, he literally copied and pasted the description of his video the "recipe" came from... twice... including a link to his playlist. Motherfucker is legally blind.
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EDIT EDIT: Every page is gold:
View attachment 5186102
"Ingredients: ingredient you like. Directions: watch video". I haven't laughed this hard in a while. A sincere "Thank you" to Jack.

Writing a Youtube link into a cookbook is a genius move on Jack's part. He knows that his audience can't understand his sentences, let alone his writing so with this is in mind he gave us the gift of watching him again fucking up an easy meal. He's such a generous and giving Christian.

 

[Randall Fragg]

HERE IS THE COOKBOOK PDF!!!

I can't take any credit for this though, this was bought and shared by a benevolent soul on the PC+TLM discord.
It's so bad- so, so, fucking bad. A ton of recipes don't have actual instructions but are just a link to his youtube videos, there's stolen images, recipes repeated right after each other, the punctuation and capitalization is all over the place. This is the most stroked out shit I've ever seen and I love it.


EDIT: Adding images because aaaaaaaaaaa
View attachment 5186070View attachment 5186071
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PDF below:

That table of contents gives massive The Shining vibes.
If Jack slips into a coma tomorrow, I'm fully buying into the wendigo theory. This is the wendigo transferring its essence into a bound tome, just waiting for an unwary police detective or random boomer to become the next vessel of it's unholy meatlust. The Call of Caloriethlu.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

You know something’s good when you laugh so hard at it that the person in the next room asks if you’re okay.

I think my favorite part so far is step 1: e

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Hidden recipe found

I couldn't stop laughing the entire time I was making this. This cookbook is the best thing Jack has ever done for his haters. Holy shit.

 

[Random Internet Person]

HERE IS THE COOKBOOK PDF!!!

I can't take any credit for this though, this was bought and shared by a benevolent soul on the PC+TLM discord.
It's so bad- so, so, fucking bad. A ton of recipes don't have actual instructions but are just a link to his youtube videos, there's stolen images, recipes repeated right after each other, the punctuation and capitalization is all over the place. This is the most stroked out shit I've ever seen and I love it.


EDIT: Adding images because aaaaaaaaaaa
View attachment 5186070View attachment 5186071
View attachment 5186072


PDF below:

I don't know what the best part is, the lack of editing, or the directions of some are literally "watch this video".


For entertainment, this book makes me laugh like an idiot. On a technical point, I think middle schoolers could make a better cookbook than this, and I'm pretty sure part of that is used as the ingredients being a way to introduce kids to fractions.

 

[p1138]

I don't know what the best part is, the lack of editing, or the directions of some are literally "watch this video".


For entertainment, this book makes me laugh like an idiot. On a technical point, I think middle schoolers could make a better cookbook than this, and I'm pretty sure part of that is used as the ingredients being a way to introduce kids to fractions.

Of course you or anyone else here could make a better cookbook than this. Hell, he even included links to his dumb "how to make money on youtube" bullshit because all he did was copy/paste from his video descriptions. As far as the editing, any retard could have done better with a paper shredder.

 

[Morrowind: GOTY Edition]

This is utterly fascinating. I know the man is clinically braindead but someone, somewhere involved with this had to have gone through it and questioned if it's even morally ethical to charge money for this. If there was actually something to work with here - good quality photos, actual recipes, anything really, I'd be tempted to remake it into an actual professional cookbook as a nice design exercise.

 

[ZipDisk]

I know we don't touch, but it would be hilarious if he got a DMCA takedown over his collection of stolen recipes.
He's admitted in the past that all his recipes are stolen, but like a bitch, he blames Tammy.
Happy stickers to anyone who can track down the video of him saying so. I remember it was filmed in their pseudo office area.

 

[._.]

HERE IS THE COOKBOOK PDF!!!

I can't take any credit for this though, this was bought and shared by a benevolent soul on the PC+TLM discord.
It's so bad- so, so, fucking bad. A ton of recipes don't have actual instructions but are just a link to his youtube videos, there's stolen images, recipes repeated right after each other, the punctuation and capitalization is all over the place. This is the most stroked out shit I've ever seen and I love it.


EDIT: Adding images because aaaaaaaaaaa
View attachment 5186070View attachment 5186071
View attachment 5186072


PDF below:

oh my god I love it.
"Lazy mans stir fry. Directions: Put shit in a pan and just move it around man".

Cookbook rating: gud.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

I don't know what the best part is

I think long term, the best part is gonna be the fact that Jack will die and this will be one of the few pieces of his creations that outlive him - Eventually youtube will die, and even if archives of it persist going forward in some form, nobody will ever surface cooking with Jack.

But digital book archives already exist, and cooking books in particular are actually well accessed - Recipes are perpetually useful, and the idea of a 'bachelors easy cook book' would appeal to the exact sort of person who's broke enough to be hitting up the internet archive for cookbooks. This book, of all things, will be found more than the rest, more than even the ashes of the farms some decades in the future.

And the young man who opens this book seeking a meal of the flesh will find a meal for the soul, the kind of laughter that can lift one out of any darkness, because holy shit Jack is incredible for all the wrong reasons.