Let's cut the crap and actually talk about phalloplasty honestly
I'm making this because I'm upset with seeing people talking about "cis/trans" penis and all sorts of crap. So I figure people are both misinformed and not accepting of themselves as a man.
Phalloplasty is the process of constructing a phallus from a skin graft. There are many locations that can be used, the most popular being a section of a forearm or a thigh. The surgeon arranges things around so that you can stand to pee using the finished phallus(if that is your preference), does some other things, but most importantly they create a phallus, this being the head and shaft. After the phallus heals, an erection device is implanted and the user can get hard using this device. Users also report pleasure/temperature stimulation as the phallus heals.
Okay, that's the basics. Now to bring up what I see going around that's frustrating me. There's this notion among even the most binary of transitioning men that this phallus is not a penis, bonus points if they use statements like "not a real/cis penis". I get it, it's scary worrying that this dick you spent all this money on isn't going to meet expectations. But I'm seeing that expectations are what is messing everyone up. Internally, it should be enough that you got your dick, you're complete. But many feel that
other people won't see them as a man. I get the concern, but then they go off on these tirades about "it's never going to be a real penis" and I'm sick of it.
There is no such thing as a cis penis.
Get that through your head. Penises are long, penises are short. Penises are skinny and penises are girthy. Some have foreskin and some are circumcised.
When you look at results of other patients, understand that they told the surgeon what they feel their penis should look like. You and only you are the only who decides what a penis is to you. Some choose to only have a lump. Some want it to look more natural. I'd say there's definitely an image of a natural(≠cis) penis, but there is no "real" penis.
This penis is real. Cis doesn't mean real, it's a label, your penis is not cis, it's a dick. Excuse me, but I don't know who this fake penis surgeon is, please tell me so I can avoid them.
Now when I say real, I'm talking about it's literally existent.
It came from your body, how is it not real? You know what's a fake penis? A dildo, a strap on. These are made from synthetic materials, silicones and rubbers and plastics, and they're not melded to your body, you don't pee through them and they don't get hard in any regard. You know what's a real penis? Skin. Flesh. A real penis is made from your body and is attached to your body and it functions. That's a real penis. Cis penis? No, get with the program, there is no such thing as a cis penis, only cut and uncut.
People will be able to tell I wasn't born with a penis because it will be circumcised even with medical tattooing.
In America, most of the male population is circumcised. I get that circumcision isn't as popular outside the states, so I'll explain what it is. Circumcision is the act of cutting off the foreskin at a male's birth. It doesn't mean your dick got cut off, the
foreskin got cut off. Do you even know male anatomy? Men live normal lives even if they're circumcised because guess what? It literally changes nothing accept they might need more lube during time of pleasure, and that's it. Just do it, get medical tattooing that gives the look of a circumcised penis and you're golden. Are you concerned that the dick won't look like it's flush with the crotch? Pubic hair. Bam. Done. If you want to say a circumcised penis is not a real penis, don't. It's in your head, it's anxiety. The neighborhood penis inspector doesn't exist, so unless you're walking around with a plastic window over your crotch and a big sign that says "trans penis", no one can tell, only you will see the "imperfections".
It's not a real penis because it doesn't get hard/on its own
Shut your little mouth and go sit in the corner. On the way, go tell the "cis" men with erectile dysfunction that their dicks are fake because they can't get hard on their own, I'm sure they'll appreciate it. This "can't get hard" rhetoric is annoying and downright disrespectful to everyone. News flash, most, if not all, gender affirming care offered to transitioning folk was made for "cis" folk. The erectile devices that are implanted in the phallus are the same devices men with erectile dysfunction have been given for a while. You're just a man with erectile dysfunction. This statement of "can't get hard on its own" has this notion behind it that having an erection device means it doesn't matter. Getting erections is a serious business, the shame with not being able to be sexual is mentally and emotionally taxing, and so for men with erectile dysfunction, taking a pill or having a device installed is the best thing they can do. And just stop. It
does get hard, that's all that matters. You want inappropriate boners? You want to face the stigma of an inappropriate boner in a place where you could face sexual harassment allegations? The ability to control erections is a plus, not a minus. It's like transitioning women wanting a period, they don't want the pain and blood, they want to be able to bear children. Bro, you touch it and it gets hard. Don't get what more you need. Activating a device is getting hard. Dick hard? It's hard. This point bothers me the most, you couldn't be more ungrateful for advancements in the medical field. You want a dick that gets hard? You can have one? "But it doesn't get hard on its own"- yes it does, if it isn't then you need to tell your surgeon that the device is broken.
But I have to get the implant replaced!
That's on you. Again, "cis" men who get these devices implanted also need to get them replaced, you're not special. Did you get the internal pump system? Needs maintenance about every five years. The rod? Research says they last twenty years. 20. You get this phallo done when you're twenty years old or later? Guess what, you're on the same route as an aging "cis" man, a penis not performing up to scruff as the years go by is natural. You should continue to save money in case of emergency, that's being responsible.
Phalloplasty produces a phallus. You can get it tattooed to fit your view of a penis. You can have an erection device installed so you can get hard. It's attached to your body, you can pee through it, it's made of skin from your body. You get to choose the length. It's real. It's a dick. It's your dick. Are you a man? Then you have a man's dick. Disphoria sucks, it's taxing. But be informed, don't go around saying "I'm not a real man cus I'll never have a real dick". You're right, you're not a real man, you're a coward. Don't push this "it's not real" crap around, you're a disservice to men who have had phallo, men with erectile dysfunction, and anyone who wants to get phallo. You don't think it's real? Then don't get it.
But even after surgery I need to tell people om trans because
No you don't. You don't need to say nothing. You got the final operation, it's over. You're a man. You've got a dick. To say you're still trans after getting a dick is saying you're not a man. (
Edit: this part is not to invalidate those who dont want or can't have phallo that they're not male, it's more the confusion about someone saying "I'm trans and this dick sucks and it's not enough to make me a man. I'm sorry I didn't catch that when I was writing this, that is absolutely not how I how think, genitals don't make the person, spirit does, and the seeming disconnect between "I've got a dick but I'm only ever going to be trans" is just something I can't understand) Yes you need hormones and Ed servicing until you're dead, but so do "cis" men as they get on in age. You're a man with a dick, how can you say phallo doesn't matter? You a girl? Are the other men who get phallo never going to be men because you're in charge of telling people who's dick is real or not? No, didn't think so. I bet if someone who got phallo and tattooing for a circumcised look and put their dick next to other circumcised dicks, you wouldn't be able to tell who is "trans". There oughta be a sticky whenever a post mentions "my dick won't be real" because we need to stop misinformation and fear mongering about phallo at the source. Yes, disphoria sucks and venting is okay. No, you can't tell others phallo isn't a real dick, you're not real.
Edit: when I said...
be informed, don't go around saying "I'm not a real man cus I'll never have a real dick". You're right, you're not a real man, you're a coward.
...I didn't mean that you need a dick to be a man, I apologize and I can see how the writing definitely suggests so. I meant that from an angle of trying to reach out to those who believe that, I don't believe a dick makes a man, just pointing out those who try to make that the truth. Thank you for everyone who pointed that out, wouldn't want troublesome language in a post against troublesome language!
