Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[make_it_so]

I am in fucking awe of the absolute state of this document. I can't call it a cookbook because it's a fucking joke.

He's literally just copied the comments he left on his videos. On page 8 for the "Beverages" that are so fucking retarded that even retards could have figured them out. I mean "Iced Coffee" is cold coffee, milk or cream and sugar. OMG! Who the FUCK couldn't have figured that out? And he had to include them twice. He's also literally left in the links to his youtube playlist.

For his Lazy Man Omelette? Just watch the video. Then what the fuck is the point of the book if directions are "watch the video"?

Other times the recipe is listed, then listed again but this time with a picture.

And he's had the gall to rate his recipes with stars as if he knows what good food is.

Imagine how pissed off someone (who's not a Farmer/cow watcher) would be if they actually paid $5 for this thing, and all they get is a pdf full of links to free to watch YouTube videos.

All of these recipes read like they were written by someone who hates cooking but likes eating

Well I think that does kind of describe Jack to a T.

 

[feral cat #6385]

HERE IS THE COOKBOOK PDF!!!

I can't take any credit for this though, this was bought and shared by a benevolent soul on the PC+TLM discord.
It's so bad- so, so, fucking bad. A ton of recipes don't have actual instructions but are just a link to his youtube videos, there's stolen images, recipes repeated right after each other, the punctuation and capitalization is all over the place. This is the most stroked out shit I've ever seen and I love it.


EDIT: Adding images because aaaaaaaaaaa
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PDF below:

Amazing. I haven't seen something so enjoyably bad since The Room. Kudos to Jack for giving us one last laugh before he dies.

 

[beautiful person]

This absolute fucking Chad continues to reach new heights of comedy.

Lol @ the plot twist. I thought that lasagna looked suspiciously edible!

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Has nobody ever shooped a cock into his mouth in this thread?

I have personally done it several times and I'm not alone.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I missed you bastards, while I was gone I still caught up on Jack stuff and dear god his asian jack on the go videos are the most visceral display of gluttony I've seen from him. Really liked how he ordered enough food that would be fit to be a few dinners for a family, but he clearly ate it all himself.

As for his cooking still find it funny how he has mommywife and other people cook for him.

 

[Your Favorite New Friend]

I don't know if it's the most, but the late 50s Betty Crocker For Kids cookbook in my mom's extensive library had some prizes.

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From now on I'm going to describe racially motivated mass shootings as going full Betty Crocker.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

This absolute fucking Chad continues to reach new heights of comedy.

Once again Rob brings the goods.

And shows that even one of Jagoff's recipes, when done properly, can look edible.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack continues to be an idiot on the Facebook

 

[Phantastic Hunt]

This absolute fucking Chad continues to reach new heights of comedy.

I'm new to Jack so forgive my ignorance but I do own several cookbooks. Why in the Hell does he not list any measurements in his book?

 

[SandyCat]

I'm new to Jack so forgive my ignorance but I do own several cookbooks. Why in the Hell does he not list any measurements in his book?

Jack is a lazy stroked out idiot

As for what compelled him to actually release it in this state? Probably the same answer above

 

[beautiful person]

And shows that even one of Jagoff's recipes, when done properly, can look edible.

Spoiler: Plot twist!

It wasn't even Jack's recipe! Rob found the CWJ video for this lasagna, and it turned out to be a recipe from one of Jack's church friends.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

I'm new to Jack so forgive my ignorance but I do own several cookbooks. Why in the Hell does he not list any measurements in his book?

Well the direct answer is: Because he never listed the measurements in the video descriptions he copied and pasted from. As to why he never put the measurements in the video descriptions? Because he's retarded.

 

[biggacracka]

I'm new to Jack so forgive my ignorance but I do own several cookbooks. Why in the Hell does he not list any measurements in his book?

Jack can't understand measurements. Measurements mean restrictions. He NEEDS to use the whole container of whatever he's using. Multiple containers in fact.

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

Can we add to his title Made A STROKE-Of-Genius "Cook" "Book" to the thread title? Holy shit I wasn't expecting it to be that awful.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

New Cooking with Jack video:

In this episode we see Jack get surprised that something consisting of 80% cheese melts into cheese puddles when put in the oven.

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

New Cooking with Jack video:

In this episode we see Jack get surprised that something consisting of 80% cheese melts into cheese puddles when put in the oven.

It's really sad to see how Jack has, in every sense, decayed over the years. If he attitude wasn't so toxic, I'd feel pretty bad for him.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

New Cooking with Jack video:

In this episode we see Jack get surprised that something consisting of 80% cheese melts into cheese puddles when put in the oven.

These are barely even Garlic knots, these are just cheese snacks Jack made and he calls it KETO because no bread. I've had Garlic Knots before and they weren't this damn cheesy. Jack somehow turned something that barely had cheese into one of the cheesiest things ever.

 

[make_it_so]

New Cooking with Jack video:

In this episode we see Jack get surprised that something consisting of 80% cheese melts into cheese puddles when put in the oven.

Christ that mumbling and slurred speech, I can barely understand what he's saying.

 

[Super Hans v2]

New Cooking with Jack video:

In this episode we see Jack get surprised that something consisting of 80% cheese melts into cheese puddles when put in the oven.

Great to hear that Jr hates his dad so much that he can't shut the fuck up for 10 minutes while he's shooting.

 

[AnOminous]

New Cooking with Jack video:

In this episode we see Jack get surprised that something consisting of 80% cheese melts into cheese puddles when put in the oven.

Ahm rummrgugng thurr muh rursapeees. . .

Holy fuck the slurring is out of control.

Is this just strokebrain or is he actually drunk?

I was also afraid he was going to roll dough with the One True Salmonella Ring, but no, Tammy did it for obvious reasons.

He also manages to rub two neurons together long enough to realize shit that tends to melt into a puddle when baked often does so less when refrigerated first (like some cookie dough). So kudos for that I guess.

These are barely even Garlic knots, these are just cheese snacks Jack made and he calls it KETO because no bread.

He uses almond flour, it looks like in almost homeopathic amounts. It wouldn't matter much. Almond flour doesn't act remotely like flour. It's actually okay for cookies if you have to cook for vegans or celiac people (or those lying idiots who claim they're "gluten-intolerant" despite such a thing not really existing).