- Joined
- Jul 7, 2015
laboar"people i hate make money off my labeor"
🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit
- Thread starter PhoBingas
- Start date
Muppetstudios
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2021
Rage Pig
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2022
The Rage Pig is back! Off the wagon, on the xannieberries, angry af!
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2016
Taking that drink like a champion. Fuck you, bish, May. Whore. Slut. I DRINK WHEN I WANT
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2023
Glad to see the sobreity larp is over. Also, its damn nice to be back on clearnet.
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2016
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2021
I can't tell when he's shitposting or serious sometimes
- Joined
- May 13, 2023
oh hes being serious, but if you think he wont be asking for 2000 dollars in return for a 500 dollar flight youve got another thing coming
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2022
Some clueless cop floors the gunt and the riots immediately cease, everyone in blissful solidarity over Ralph getting beat overseas a third time.
Sinbad the Sailor
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2022
I haven't really paid much attention to Ralph since he proclaimed his sobriety. It seems like things panned out more or less as people expected back then. He wouldn't stick to it privately but would keep up the act, the act was there primarily to try and lure May back to Mexico and even the pretense would vanish as soon as things started falling apart.
But I'm not eager to dance on his grave on this one. A part of me hoped that he would prove us all wrong somehow and turn things around. Though he did keep a lid on things longer than I expected, he has definitely fallen off the wagon now and has failed. Ralph is an awful person who has done awful things, and no matter how straight-laced he might have become, or pretended to have become, that isn't going to go away. Still, he is a person and I can't really be happy that his life seems so miserable, even if it's all his own doing.
Xander is Ralph's son, May was his wife, Rosy is his daughter. Losing all three, for good (it seems) would be a tough reality for anyone to accept. There is no universe where Ralph is a good parent or spouse. But, some part of me believes, or even hopes, that there was something genuine in his fight to keep any of them in his life. It's easy to fall into point-scoring exercises where his losses are our gains and vice versa. Ralph signing away his son to Vickers is based because Josh and Jim made him seethe about it. It's tempting to assume Ralph sees things in the same way, that he conceived out of spite, married out of spite and fought legal battles out of spite and nothing more. He's certainly done a lot to give credence to that assumption but I do think there's some part of him that is hurt beyond thinking about how the A-logs will laugh about it.
The saddest part is, their lives will be better for Ralph not being a part of it anymore. I don't think the reality of two children being without their real father being the best possible outcome for them is something to be happy about, for anyone. I'm not sure if Ralph is even cognizant enough to realise the reality here, but it's a bitter pill to swallow, even for one so experienced in swallowing pills all day.
But I'm not eager to dance on his grave on this one. A part of me hoped that he would prove us all wrong somehow and turn things around. Though he did keep a lid on things longer than I expected, he has definitely fallen off the wagon now and has failed. Ralph is an awful person who has done awful things, and no matter how straight-laced he might have become, or pretended to have become, that isn't going to go away. Still, he is a person and I can't really be happy that his life seems so miserable, even if it's all his own doing.
Xander is Ralph's son, May was his wife, Rosy is his daughter. Losing all three, for good (it seems) would be a tough reality for anyone to accept. There is no universe where Ralph is a good parent or spouse. But, some part of me believes, or even hopes, that there was something genuine in his fight to keep any of them in his life. It's easy to fall into point-scoring exercises where his losses are our gains and vice versa. Ralph signing away his son to Vickers is based because Josh and Jim made him seethe about it. It's tempting to assume Ralph sees things in the same way, that he conceived out of spite, married out of spite and fought legal battles out of spite and nothing more. He's certainly done a lot to give credence to that assumption but I do think there's some part of him that is hurt beyond thinking about how the A-logs will laugh about it.
The saddest part is, their lives will be better for Ralph not being a part of it anymore. I don't think the reality of two children being without their real father being the best possible outcome for them is something to be happy about, for anyone. I'm not sure if Ralph is even cognizant enough to realise the reality here, but it's a bitter pill to swallow, even for one so experienced in swallowing pills all day.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
Has Cog ever talked about wanting to go to Paris?
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2021
"His fight?". People fight for decades for their children, give up everything. Ralph "fought" for Xander for a few hours over 2 years, most of it for profit. He doesn't give a shit.
I typically have a similarly sympathetic view and optimistic hope that terrible, shallow, callow people will become less so. But the proof is in the pudding, and truth is in actions. If he has indeed agreed that $800/month is worth more than a relationship with his son (his fIrSt-BoRn AnD hEiR, no less, tradcath that he is), then that's that, no more to say.
Now: will he actually follow through and stfu for the next 16 years until Xander is 18? Press X. More likely he'll bitch about the terms, drag it out, not pay during the negotiating period, and ultimately violate whatever arrangement he finally agrees to. Which is why I gave thought to some of the ways I'd make it extremely legally/ contractually/ financially painful for him to do so. Any arrangement about terminating his parental rights ought to be iron-clad and full of penalties. But I suspect it won't be, because exceptionally stubborn and egotistical dumbasses on both sides of an agreement almost always let their emotions guide their decisions and fuck it up in one way or another.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
I hope he doesn't get snackbared unless it's on camera.
It's a bitter pill to swallow, no wonder he followed it with a few sweeter pills and a fifth of Maker's.
He has been well and truly emasculated. They put the mini-size Elastrator on those pig balls and they're coming off.
The corn is harvested.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
LMAO. Wasn't the entire LARP with May on twitter her needing Ralph to make her TRAD. Did he have some hopes for this chick getting gunted?
It's at least funny to see them mimic the romance arc Gunt wanted so badly he role played as Pantsu for two years plus year on twitter. Must have really chapped Gunt's flat flabby ass that Darius gets to bang and role play his forced trad fantasy with Grace.
Maybe that's why he's had to get so wasted this weekend. Grace was supposed to cooperate with his plan to make Pantsu jealous.
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- Joined
- Jul 8, 2022
I'm more baffled that his fans would see this as a tempting morsel.
Right. Ethan's travel logs and the majority of views comes from his ass being laid flat. Does he want some pastry frenchie to beat him up? That would be a light whooping (Ralph would not win) but that fairytale won't be reality. Some Somalian refugee will sodomize him.
France is lovely, especially in the spring but Paris is a modern day shitshow. No offense to anyone outside the Paris. Paris is Babylon.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Either would be fine, but I would like seeing him beaten into a coma by a cartoon Frenchman in a beret with a stale baguette. That would probably crush his osteoporotic skull.
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2022
Two men with purses duking it out. I hope the watching crowd flings coins at them while they slap and kiss.
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2018
Hey, you see those people? Those boobs and jerkwads are the best friends you'll ever have. Without them, you're nothing. Remember that.
Your family will never understand you, your lovers will leave you or try to change you, but your fans - you be good to them and they'll be good to you.
The most important thing is you got to give the people what they want. Even if it kills you. Even if it empties you out until there's nothing left to empty. No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing and you don't stop smiling and you give those people what they want.
Tweet | Archive
We are so fucking back. He's in full on cartoon villain monologue mode but too wasted to appear and do his own stuff, instead he's hero-worshipping and projecting onto characters with shitty personalities again. This is the start of something great, I can feel it.
Your family will never understand you, your lovers will leave you or try to change you, but your fans - you be good to them and they'll be good to you.
The most important thing is you got to give the people what they want. Even if it kills you. Even if it empties you out until there's nothing left to empty. No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing and you don't stop smiling and you give those people what they want.
Tweet | Archive
We are so fucking back. He's in full on cartoon villain monologue mode but too wasted to appear and do his own stuff, instead he's hero-worshipping and projecting onto characters with shitty personalities again. This is the start of something great, I can feel it.
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2022
He's finally come to the realisation that the only way he can eke out a living is to dance like a monkey on obscure streaming services for pennies from people he can't fucking stand.
Trying to get 2 live-in fuckmommys didn't pan out. You pissed away your hundred gorillion streaming dollars on narcotics, beer, vacations where you get pummeled half to death, legal troubles, child support and silly hats. Uncle Ralph hasn't placed you into one of his many bayou mansions, all expenses paid.
Also BoJack did some vile shit but he was self-aware and he tried to be better and do better. YWNHACHRA (You will never have a cartoon horse redemption arc).
Life isn't what you thought it'd be. It's tough.
Trying to get 2 live-in fuckmommys didn't pan out. You pissed away your hundred gorillion streaming dollars on narcotics, beer, vacations where you get pummeled half to death, legal troubles, child support and silly hats. Uncle Ralph hasn't placed you into one of his many bayou mansions, all expenses paid.
Also BoJack did some vile shit but he was self-aware and he tried to be better and do better. YWNHACHRA (You will never have a cartoon horse redemption arc).
Life isn't what you thought it'd be. It's tough.
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2018
I still have no idea where this Grace Thorp woman came from, who she is or why she suddenly was so involved with Ralph.
Having said that, it is beyond obvious that Ralph had high hopes of gunting this chick and is very, very mad that she humiliated him publicly like this. I'm going to bet that he will be taking shots at her for a long time because he was rejected.
Hopefully he does, since she seems like someone who would turn on him for clout and I guarantee that there's some embarrassing messages he has sent her (remember how pathetic the "you know who this is" texts were).