- Joined
- Apr 16, 2021
I would love to see someone make the party cheese salad tolerable... Like, what does it need? Could you remove the gelatin and use it like a casserole with some ground beef?
💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
- Thread starter Gentlebastard
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- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
There's too many ingredients going towards sweet and savory each that making party cheese salad salvageable would have the end product be unrecognizable. Take out the shreddy cheese and veg, and what's left might be okay as-is as a fruit dip. Take out the cream cheese, cool whip, and fruit, and you just have mixed veg and shreddy cheese, mix in some meat and you got a meal.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2020
I almost want to call it the Lolcow Curse.
Plenty of people have dropped dead from a combination of obesity with alcohol and drug abuse, but Ethan Ralph keeps on chugging (booze and xannies). Plenty of people have wound up homeless, committed, or in prison for acting out like a tard in public and committing sex crimes, but Chris-chan still roams the streets of Virginia a free autist. Plenty of people who have been delinquent on their taxes and mortgage payments have been taken to the cleaners by the banks and courts and lost everything, but Dark Syde Phil gets to wipe his debts clean with Chapter 7 and continue his "career" of being bad at video games and spending all his money on sweaty animated wrestler jpegs.
In short, things that would utterly destroy normal, mortal men seem to only make Lolcows stronger, allowing them to continue their antics unabated. Jack could conceivably keep having strokes until he's reduced to a mumbling, immobile slop confined to a wheelchair, but he'll still somehow keep pumping out videos of disgusting recipes.
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2021
That last is one is pretty relatable to be fair. Motherfuckers out here taking 15 minutes to explain how to make aioli.
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2013
I recreated Jack's classic onion goggles look in oil paints, could have made it a little better but that would have required looking at Jack's face longer.
Also: bonus preliminary sketch!
Also: bonus preliminary sketch!
MS Paint Gigachad
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2022
damn, for a moment i thought this was engineer tf2 doing a soyface
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2018
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2022
I wont be surprised to see this pop up with the watermarks still there. I kind of like how little he does to improve everything but keeps thinking, "Nee gud logo", "Nee cukbuk" and comes up with shit like this. I mean look at how he handles shit....
Yup, Jack has always had "Main Character Syndrome" like most cows have but with each stroke he has taken it to the point where he feels he cant do wrong, cause hes "Doing Gods wurk". In Jacks mind doing Gods work is just doing what he wants and expecting God to help him when shit hits the fan....which hasnt been working so great for him.
I love how Jack gives attention to veggies in this cookbook the same way he would in real life. "Side dishes? Isnt that the shit you get when you order 50 wings? I dont know how to cook vegetables. Uhh take veggies, and side dish done."
What kind of upsets me is Merril Howard Kalin has passed and was so much more enthuastic about cooking (despite having similar issues with poultry) and having fun than Jack, yet Jack lives on. Id gladly trade the both if I was given the chance.
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2020
It doesn’t matter how many times you rebrand if your product still sucks, it sucks. This is like the second or third rebrand since last year. The view count remains the same.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
He's more salmonella than man at this point.
As it stands the recipe is absolute trash. But as you say, you remove some of the ingredients and it could be a decent salad. Of course you get rid of the lemon jello and just use lemon juice for that. But as it stands you can't make it edible.
Well he looks retarded so mission accomplished.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
You're thinking of it all wrong. Jack is like Antaeus, son of the earth goddess. As long as he's in contact with that which granted him existence, in this case Fat and Meat, he remains invincible. Feed Jack a Caprese sandwich, basil, tomato, with vegan mozzarella. He'll be dead before the second bite.
Charlie Delicious
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2017
they had a fucking acorn already lol
Jack doesn't like them because he actually had to understand how airflow and fire work on a non electric smoker.
Jack doesn't like them because he actually had to understand how airflow and fire work on a non electric smoker.
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2020
There’s really no better illustration of what a parasitic burden Jack is on his family. His wife, son and daughter in law are stuck building the 48th grill he’s bought in the last 6 months because his strokes have turned him into a brain damaged cripple. He’ll never be able to cook on it either for the same reason. Tammy will be forced to use it for one video before it joins the grill graveyard that is Jack’s garage.
I hope Jack has another stroke that forces him to be fed flavorless pablum through a tube for the rest of his pathetic, miserable existence.
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2019
he actually says with incredible subtlety "my wife doesn't care for Alfredo so she won't eat it"
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
There's no way that they still have those dozen plus grills after moving, which begs the question what they did with that heap of shit. Did Jack give them to the homeless? Sperg out when the buyers refused after seeing the condition? Or did he leave them for the homebuyers to deal with?
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Jihad. Jihad on you.