💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 904 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,558
Aunt Carol said:
Jack would probably like dim sum, if they had it in his neck of the woods. Carbs don't count when Jack is at a restaurant, same as pork is kosher when eaten at a Chinese place. He'd like that the lady just keeps coming to the table with more dumplings and he doesn't even have to get up.
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Yes, but:
"what are the weird black bits!?"
(they're pork ribs with fermented black beans. They add savory flavor.)
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He wouldn't have the fine motor skill to pick up one of these bad boys without busting it open. Even as a man who's used chopsticks since I was like 6 or 7, I occasionally mess them up. And it's not like ive had a stroke or something.
(for the uninitiated: that's xiao long bao aka soup dumplings, a dumpling filled with meat and broth.)
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And given that he says that if the orange chicken is good then the whole place is good (china spring video, jack on the go show, twenty-eighth of june (because the fucking emoji pops up when i type in twenty-eight in numerals)), you'd have a hard time convincing me that he wouldnt find half the steamed items severely under-seasoned.
 
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Doctor of Autism said:
Jack reviewed a new product

https://youtube.com/watch?v=aPvY4Qep8aU
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Jack spends more time explaining the purpose of each tool in the package to us like we're all retarded (which to be fair, it appears his actual fans are) than he does actually showing him cooking or even trying the pizza. Probably just as well, given that the pizza looks more like a slab of cement with cheese and pepperoni on it, which he then has the audacity to proclaim looks "just like wood-fired pizza". Fuck out of here, Jack.
 
Spasticus Autisticus said:
Jack spends more time explaining the purpose of each tool in the package to us like we're all retarded (which to be fair, it appears his actual fans are) than he does actually showing him cooking or even trying the pizza. Probably just as well, given that the pizza looks more like a slab of cement with cheese and pepperoni on it, which he then has the audacity to proclaim looks "just like wood-fired pizza". Fuck out of here, Jack.
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More Cooking With Invisible Tammy because no way could he do that shit himself. Love the little cuts as if we don't notice.

Horrible video but at least he's not slurring as badly as he has been lately.
 

Pizza Oven by Drop Shittor.

Jack is weirdly smug and sassy here. I don't like it.
Jack fellates his pizza slicer.

Him having the oven set up on a glass table was exciting, but my hopes were dashed, it didn't shatter and burn the house down.

Jack yells at the dog again.

Holy fuck those pizzas look like a war crime.

I bet he made Tammy eat the burned one.

Will Jack hang himself in the fall? We can only hope.
 
Doctor of Autism said:
Jack reviewed a new product

https://youtube.com/watch?v=aPvY4Qep8aU
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I love how Jack shows the shipping label on the screen as if he's shoving it in the face of doxers yet his camera is such hot garbage, one can barely make sense of it anyway.

He starts off by introducing the cheap accessories as if his braindead audience doesn't know what they are. "This is a pair of thongs, this is a pizza cutter, this is cardboard wrapping and this is the label" yes Jack we know what they are.

Like any Amerimutt backyard, it's perfectly trimmed and a haven of flies, yuck. He claims it's going to take some practice to use the pizza oven correctly, seriously?

Oh, it's Jack.
gross.jpg

Also, this is the purchase link (don't click).
https:// s .vevor.com/bfQnLw
That's essentially an affiliate link. So Jack was paid to do this review, yet he didn't even have the decency to ask them how to pronounce the company's name. Shocker.

By the way, that pizza oven appears to be a clone of some Britbong brand called Ooni, which sells for over $400+.
 
That crust is so black that my brain didn't even register that it was part of the pizza until I looked closer. Our Italian chef, ladies and gentlemen!
 
Doctor of Autism said:
Jack reviewed a new product

https://youtube.com/watch?v=aPvY4Qep8aU
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Omg, get that harness off that poor fucking dog. Jfc, these people.
fuckwit extraordinaire said:
Jfc Jack propping up his meat log of an arm remnant in the Vevor video. The shit is discolored mate what the fuck are you doing to it nigger.
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It looks so uncanny and painful. Idk much about strokes, but I wonder if that shit tingles like when your foot falls asleep.

Also, I noticed Jack said this was his first time out on that patio. Said it was because of his "illness." That's pretty sad, because it shouldn't be that hard for him to hobble outside or have someone wheel him out there or something. Is it his own lack of interest in his own backyard, or is it that the rest of his family is so sick of him that they won't provide the basic amount of help to get him out there (which I wouldn't even blame them for)? It's a flat, elevated surface. It shouldn't be that hard to get him out there. And a normal human being would find such scenery to be really enriching, especially if they're crippled and can't do literally anything else.
 
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