Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Schwarzwald]

Ironically, despite his pigheaded aggression in attacking a policeman, this is ironclad evidence that Patrick has never been in a real fight in his life.

The looping punch, the chicken wing angle, how he winds up behind himself, the complete lack of involvement of his lower body, his clear inability to naturally use his (considerable) weight, his lack of instinct to raise his arms and defend his face while throwing the punch...

I honestly think he didn't get charged because the attempt was so pathetic they ended up feeling bad for him. Pat might claim he was holding back, but that was not a pulled punch from someone that knew what they were doing. That was an uncoordinated childlike tantrum from somebody with zero athletic ability and less than zero knowledge of how to fight. Beyond embarrassing he would willingly put this out, even beyond the "petulant manchild attacks a police officer" aspect.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

The kid gloves this faggot gets treated with disgust me. He should have been beaten with nightsticks and brass knuckles until he looked like a swollen up Cabbage Patch doll.

You have a way with words, implying that he doesn't already look like a swollen cabbage patch doll

 

[bile demon]

Let's go to the footage:

View attachment 5249389

Yep, looks like Patso either lunges or takes the faggiest, most limp-wristed swing ever swung. Lucky he didn't get tazed, or rung up for resisting arrest/assault on an officer.

Rick makes Gunt look like Mike Tyson.

 

[Laquisha Guntermensch]

Rick makes Gunt look like Mike Tyson.

Truth, but a fat faggot on a bicycle can kill a strong black man with a gun and get away with it in Milwaukee. RIP Bernell Trammell.

I'm on call this week and missing out on a bunch of prime Pat-posting, but thank you all. I'm amazed by Ricardo's rakes in the face, fuckin' lawl.

 

[ZipDisk]

The kid gloves

I think part of why Patrick gets such hands off treatment by the PD is because the cops are seriously and honestly embarassed by all this. They can't not respond, but I'm guessing they severely hate driving out to the half-hovel.

That being said, him windmilling at a cop was the perfect pretense to give him an eye wash.

 

[Gromit the Claymation Dog]

Let's go to the footage:

View attachment 5249389

Yep, looks like Patso either lunges or takes the faggiest, most limp-wristed swing ever swung. Lucky he didn't get tazed, or rung up for resisting arrest/assault on an officer.

Oh my god he actually is 5'7''

 

[Laquisha Guntermensch]

There's a reason why high school counselors shouldn't ride electric rodeo clowns in the back of a rat rod with custom leather interiors while watching a movie at a drive-in theater. All of the evidence is in this thread.

 

[innocent jogger]

This is proof that Norm Macdonald is sending us jokes from Heaven.

 

[Johan Schmidt]

Maybe they don't want to get in hot water for giving the portable lightning ride and spicy eyespray to someone who a crafty lawyer could spin as 'special needs'.

Even though some 'special' kids would suddenly be a lot less special if their wranglers could light them up with a G.E.D or take a belt to their ass for feral behaviour without getting sued into the next dimension. And Fatrick is largely 'special' from decades of uncorrected lunacy.

The idea that the cops met Fatrick and immediately assumed that he's a mentally retarded man is genuinely funny.

 

[Things Once Remembered]

Reading the drama with Leslie, I've had an epiphany. Pat genuinely believes Twitter X matters. Not just for asspats for being a tough guy, not for "promoting his work", he thinks it matters on a societal level. He read Ender's Game and though Orson Scott Card's prediction that bloggers would be influential enough to run a country was really going to be the future. A superior future even. Much like Moviebob, its why he puts such importance on the blue checkmark, and why he rages at "fake accounts."

They are also both so fat that if they were in the same room their respective gravitational fields would create something not unlike a binary star.

Edit: Goddamnit the thread got featured again. Pat is fat and retarded.

 

[Pork Packer]

Well that certainly was a pleasant surprise to wake up to this morning.

I guess this confirms beyond any schizophrenic doubt that fatty-cake-fatty-cake-bitchtits-man has both absolutely crippling tard-tism and less than zero impulse control, and will lash out physically whenever him squealing and oinking at somebody to do what he wants fails, even when doing so is a hilariously bad fucking idea

This both bodes exceptionally well for his next appearance in court (from our perspective), and also makes it depressingly clear exactly why his ex wife ran for the hills and took Annabelle with her

 

[Cuckoman]

Fatrick is just out of his mind now, well more out of his mind that usual. Why on earth would he post a video where he swings at a cop? To show what a tough guy he is? Real alpha male stuff right there, give it to the man, punch the cop and show who is boss? Jesus. Why on earth would he post this video?

Even better, he was surrounded by other cops while he did it and they didn't even react or try to stop him. Just cuffed him and that is all.

Jesus. It is like the test if someone is an android or a human. Throw an orange at them. The human will instinctively catch it while the robot realizes it is not a threat and will let the orange harmlessly bounce off their chest, while they look at you, confused.

If this was a sci-fi novel, the cops would all be robots and you swinging your trotter at them would be the orange. You are an author, now you go and write this scene into one of your novels.

 

[SnoydNFoyd]

Can anyone tell me what the fuck anyone is saying in this clip? I can't understand a word of it with all the ambient noise. It's like Patrick lives on a Nascar circuit. If I had that much traffic right outside my front door I would save the cops the trouble and kill myself.

He's saying "I dindu nuffin, take cuffs off, don't touch me, I'll sue you"
Cops saying "Sir you are being most uncivil, please cooperate this will be much easier"

 

[SnoydNFoyd]

To

Ironically, despite his pigheaded aggression in attacking a policeman, this is ironclad evidence that Patrick has never been in a real fight in his life.

The looping punch, the chicken wing angle, how he winds up behind himself, the complete lack of involvement of his lower body, his clear inability to naturally use his (considerable) weight, his lack of instinct to raise his arms and defend his face while throwing the punch...

I honestly think he didn't get charged because the attempt was so pathetic they ended up feeling bad for him. Pat might claim he was holding back, but that was not a pulled punch from someone that knew what they were doing. That was an uncoordinated childlike tantrum from somebody with zero athletic ability and less than zero knowledge of how to fight. Beyond embarrassing he would willingly put this out, even beyond the "petulant manchild attacks a police officer" aspect.

To be fair, much as it pains me, I think he was trying to avoid the cuffs rather than attempting any looping swing at a cop

 

[internet friend]

Rick makes Gunt look like Mike Tyson.

If boogie v wings came true, can we please get pig v gunt?

---

I think part of why Patrick gets such hands off treatment by the PD is because the cops are seriously and honestly embarassed by all this. They can't not respond, but I'm guessing they severely hate driving out to the half-hovel.

I dunno if embarrassed would be the right word, maybe more like exhausted. They probably face this kind of small man syndrome from all sorts of retards every day, so fatrick is just another drop in the bucket for them. Probably how his pepperoni business has gone undetected for so long.

 

[Hot Dog]

Fatly swings at cop, posts it on Twitter X.

Poor Ralph, he probably caught the felony because he swung at a lady cop. Pat swung at a gaggle of dudes and was treated like an out of control toddler.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

While the Fat Flail is a delight, I enjoyed the part where they discuss the police suggesting they move. Niki starts saying "we can't move because uh.." and pauses like dialup buffering. You can see the words "there is a lien on the house" forming in her mind but she just manages to stop herself blurting it out.

 

[BelUwUga]

"-trying to explain it to you but you're not-"
[Indistinct. I think something about being nuts?]
"But sir, I'm- Stop! You are not! You are making a false arrest right now unless you all get your BEEP hands off of me!

I think the cop might've been saying a line I've heard like a thousand times on Cops: "...you're not under arrest but for my safety and yours I am going to cuff you until we figure this out." It's SOP for a lot of police to do a very short detention like that so they are not juggling an emotional person who might do something criminal/stupid and trying to figure out what is going on at the same time.

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

Get excited, Funsters!

 

[AnOminous]

Fatrick is just out of his mind now, well more out of his mind that usual. Why on earth would he post a video where he swings at a cop?

Maybe if he had seriously decked the cop but he swings like a faggot. He swings like a little girl. What a pathetic homosexual punch attempt that was.

The reason he didn't get broken bones from that encounter is they probably felt sorry for an obvious mental retard.

I think the cop might've been saying a line I've heard like a thousand times on Cops: "...you're not under arrest but for my safety and yours I am going to cuff you until we figure this out." It's SOP for a lot of police to do a very short detention like that so they are not juggling an emotional person who might do something criminal/stupid and trying to figure out what is going on at the same time.

It's generally permissible to cuff in a Terry stop if you are dealing with a violent retard.