Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

View attachment 5254589
Each Oreo cookie has 60kCal, he's using 21 so that's over 1200kCal. A typical adult should take in 1600-3000 kCal a day, just fyi.


Good Lord. A Chinese hot pot restaurant has less peanut butter in total.
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HOW MUCH SUGAR DO YOU NEED YOU FAT FUCK???
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dfklgjhdklgklsjt;wrthwkltg
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They look like fucking slabs of granite. The sugar content is so high, Boogie2988 registered 5 accounts to subscribe to its OnlyFans.
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How much peanut butter was that? An entire jar? This was accompanied by 21 oreos, one jar of powdered sugar and one jar of melted cheap milk chocolate chips. How is this fat fuck still breathing?

Each time I think he's made the most abominable dish yet, he somehow outdoes himself.

21 Oreos = 1,200 calories
16oz. (?) Jif Peanut Butter = 3,040 calories
2 blocks of cream cheese = 1,600 calories
1 stick of butter = 810 calories
2 cups powdered sugar = ~800 calories
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips = 960 calories

Total: At least 8,410 calories. Looks like 20 squares so 421 calories per piece.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

In case there is anyone who doesn't know what buckeyes actually look like in reality, here's a picture:
View attachment 5254818
Even if you are a moron like I am, you can get them to look more or less like this. There is no need for a lazy plus retarded plus fat as fuck plus stroked out retarded jackass man version.

They are delicious and what Jack made is an abomination.

It's me. I didn't know. I thought it was a weird name for peanut butter bars cause that's what it looked like he was doing.

Fucking hell this is shameful.

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

21 Oreos = 1,200 calories
16oz. (?) Jif Peanut Butter = 3,040 calories
2 blocks of cream cheese = 1,600 calories
1 stick of butter = 810 calories
2 cups powdered sugar = ~800 calories
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips = 960 calories

Total: At least 8,410 calories. Looks like 20 squares so 421 calories per piece.

I understand (and agree) that what jack has put out are abominations, and if he eats them in the quantities he prepares in a reasonable period of time (which he probably will) he'll be consuming a horrendous number of calories.

HOWEVER, this post seems to imply they're abnormally calorie-dense, which I consider unfair, because even when done properly, similar foods (eg, proper buckeyes, cinnamon rolls etc) are still horrifically dense in calories. This recipe (https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/9909/buckeyes-i/) claims to have 9060 calories per batch. I did the math myself based on the ingredients list and came to 10592 calories.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I understand that what jack has put out are abominations, and if he eats them in the quantities he prepares in a reasonable period of time (which he probably will) he'll be consuming a horrendous number of calories.

HOWEVER, this post seems to imply they're abnormally calorie-dense, which I consider unfair, because even when done properly, similar foods (eg, proper buckeyes, cinnamon rolls etc) are still horrifically dense in calories. This recipe (https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/9909/buckeyes-i/) claims to have 9060 calories per batch. I did the math myself based on the ingredients list and came to 10592 calories.

It's not too bad if you don't eat the whole tray like Jack undoubtedly did.

 

[AnOminous]

It's me. I didn't know. I thought it was a weird name for peanut butter bars cause that's what it looked like he was doing.

They're called buckeyes because they were deliberately made to resemble the seeds in the botanical fruit of the buckeye tree in Ohio.

It is one of those regional things because they're poisonous if not prepared properly.

Actual buckeyes:

Jack, being a gay homosexual faggot from Cocksuckfornia, who incidentally sucks dicks and routinely soyfaces, to indicate how receptive he is to any cock within view, has probably never seen one and therefore does not understand why what he did is an abomination.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Jack, being a gay homosexual faggot from Cocksuckfornia, who incidentally sucks dicks and routinely soyfaces, to indicate how receptive he is to any cock within view, has probably never seen one and therefore does not understand why what he did is an abomination.

Not to mention buckeyes are "no bake" to begin with. These are just chocolate and peanut butter squares.

 

[p1138]

I understand that what jack has put out are abominations, and if he eats them in the quantities he prepares in a reasonable period of time (which he probably will) he'll be consuming a horrendous number of calories.

HOWEVER, this post seems to imply they're abnormally calorie-dense, which I consider unfair, because even when done properly, similar foods (eg, proper buckeyes, cinnamon rolls etc) are still horrifically dense in calories. This recipe (https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/9909/buckeyes-i/) claims to have 9060 calories per batch. I did the math myself based on the ingredients list and came to 10592 calories.

Sure but that's where eating like a normal human being changes things. At 9060 calories, it's 151 each. Even at 10592 calories, it's still only 176. If you're eating 1, and not 10 it isn't that big of a deal. Fatty on the other hand looks like he had Tammy cut the tray into maybe 9 pieces? Even if he only ate one of those squares it would be horrendous, he probably ate at least 2 that day along with everything else.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

It's going to be funny to watch Jack's limp arm atrophy more and more over time. I hope he doesn't die for a while because I enjoy laughing at him

 

[Pig Cups]

I'm trying to figure out why exactly he went here when he can't physically do any of the activities it offers. Just getting out of the wheelchair probably causes at least 15 minutes of burping and farting.

I think it's just Tammy trying to sweeten the finite amount of time that Jack has left. It could be out of sympathy, or it may have something to do with the last vestiges of love that she has for her husband influencing her to keep him happy as he gets closer to the end.

These days, I liken their vacations/theme park trips to the same kinds that are done for Make-A-Wish cancer kids (who actually deserve the trips, unlike Jack). Think about how little of Jack's life we really see- it's Tammy who witnesses the vast majority of the indignities that he suffers as a result of his overall state of being. Dependence on her for things like dressing and bathing, toileting mishaps...the list goes on. He's teetering the line that separates what he is now from a full-blown hospice patient (though some might argue that that's what he is currently), and Tammy knows this. Assuming he doesn't die first, he'll be bedridden in the near future. Most people would see tremendous cause for alarm at the sight of a loved one becoming winded upon walking from one side of the kitchen to the other. Jack's at the point where he gets winded *talking*, and Tammy knows that his time is dwindling. So she's helping him live it up. Whether she's doing it out of genuine desire to heighten his quality of life, or hasten his demise, is up for debate.

That's what I kept wondering as well. It actually looks like a really cool place to go. If you're fit and mobile. There's really no purpose for Jack to be there except to be a millstone around the necks of the other family members that actually could enjoy the park to its full extent.

Tammy very well could've brought him in the hopes of an "accident" occurring on one of the attractions. Maybe she was praying for a snapped zip line? Or perhaps his electric wheelchair short-circuiting and launching him over a steep drop?

 

[p1138]

There is another option. If Tammy convinced Fatty to drop the keto bullshit and injest 4000 calories of sugar a day, theme parks have food that generally isn't healthy either. Maybe she's just trying to accelerate his demise in the most subtle way possible? Imagine all of the funnel cakes, deep fried twinkies, and other bullshit. The only things at this theme park place is a bunch of stairs, zip lines, rope bridges, some rail coaster ride things, and restaurants. He wasn't even there at night for their night show thing(I doubt they stuck around for that doing nothing all day but I guess fatty could just eat all day).

 

[beautiful person]

It's going to be funny to watch Jack's limp arm atrophy more and more over time. I hope he doesn't die for a while because I enjoy laughing at him

Sometimes, like with the Anaskeeta thing, I think "maybe Jack should just die, for his family's sake." But then I remember that they're all white trash who are probably at least half as obnoxious as Jack is irl (which is still very obnoxious), so then I tell myself to prioritize my own amusement and hope that he lives forever. Though his super congested way of talking makes me think he doesn't have much time left. But the Wendigo that lives within him is strong!

I think it's just Tammy trying to sweeten the finite amount of time that Jack has left. It could be out of sympathy, or it may have something to do with the last vestiges of love that she has for her husband influencing her to keep him happy as he gets closer to the end.

If this is what it is, then that's really sad, because Jack would never do this for her if the roles were reversed.

There is another option. If Tammy convinced Fatty to drop the keto bullshit and injest 4000 calories of sugar a day, theme parks have food that generally isn't healthy either. Maybe she's just trying to accelerate his demise in the most subtle way possible? Imagine all of the funnel cakes, deep fried twinkies, and other bullshit.

This is more likely what it is.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

It's me. I didn't know. I thought it was a weird name for peanut butter bars cause that's what it looked like he was doing.

Fucking hell this is shameful.

I thought they were nanaimo bars at first.

 

[Mr. Zed da Robot Poon Fed]

Not to mention buckeyes are "no bake" to begin with. These are just chocolate and peanut butter squares.

This. And he doesn't know how to cut these squares easily. I saw this guy make peanut butter squares and it's a lot neater and clearer than FlapJack here.

 

[Lou's Sentient Backfat]

This. And he doesn't know how to cut these squares easily. I saw this guy make peanut butter squares and it's a lot neater and clearer than FlapJack here.

It doesn't matter how neatly Jack cuts them because the wendigo will make him consume the entire thing in one go.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Taco Bell has burrarhea tacos now…


JOTG incoming !

 

[Falcon Sebben]

HOWEVER, this post seems to imply they're abnormally calorie-dense, which I consider unfair, because even when done properly, similar foods (eg, proper buckeyes, cinnamon rolls etc) are still horrifically dense in calories. This recipe (https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/9909/buckeyes-i/) claims to have 9060 calories per batch. I did the math myself based on the ingredients list and came to 10592 calories.

Yeah these things are loaded with calories which is why they're a sometimes thing. You go to Cinnabon and pick up a big old box of 9 minibons, each of which is a calorie bomb on it's own, then you eat one and stick the rest in the freezer until you decide to have another. You don't inhale the entire box in a day and a bit and then wonder why your blood is as thick as pancake batter.

This. And he doesn't know how to cut these squares easily. I saw this guy make peanut butter squares and it's a lot neater and clearer than FlapJack here.

Jagoff just hacks at them and presses down with the knife instead of actually cutting them properly.

 

[AltisticRight]

You don't inhale the entire box in a day and a bit and then wonder why your blood is as thick as pancake batter.

Considering the kind of pancake batter Jack Scalfani foments up in his cauldron...

Yeah, thicker than pitch. Someone give this fat mess a Nobel's Prize in physics.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Considering the kind of pancake batter Jack Scalfani foments up in his cauldron...
View attachment 5260292
Yeah, thicker than pitch. Someone give this fat mess a Nobel's Prize in physics.

Nice stove Jack. Holy shit what a step backwards

 

[Look--an Alien!]

Nice stove Jack. Holy shit what a step backwards

It's one of his old videos. Don't worry though, Jack is still fat, stupid and bad at life

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

It's one of his old videos. Don't worry though, Jack is still fat, stupid and bad at life

You can tell because he's lifting that measuring cup with his right arm.