Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[I'mThePatMan!]

I am loving that the writers strike is keeping unfunny TDS hacks like him off the air during this time of Trump potentially going to jail. I hope if bad things happen to Trump, that the strike lasts forever and that Pat is also in jail and unable to xeet about it.

followed by Colbert who is just awful in every possible way.

I hate to admit there was a time when I was dumb enough to think that absolute mongoloid shill was funny (Edit: Same for Patton Oswald, another former Pest target. I like those boys, they are great at character judgment).

I can only hope God considers my Patposting as enough atonement for the errors of my ways.

 

[Anasûrimbor Kellhus]

funny

to be fair the Colbert Report was pretty amusing I always loved those medical skits

after he went to late night talk show his humor became "DUHHH DRUMPF ORANGE AND RACIST AND BAD AHAHHAHA"

 

[Piggle Rick]

to be fair the Colbert Report was pretty amusing I always loved those medical skits

after he went to late night talk show his humor became "DUHHH DRUMPF ORANGE AND RACIST AND BAD AHAHHAHA"

Strangers With Candy had its moments too, IMO. It’s just his hardcore political propaganda that’s about as funny as warm sick.

 

[AnOminous]

Strangers With Candy had its moments too, IMO. It’s just his hardcore political propaganda that’s about as funny as warm sick.

Terminal Trump Derangement Syndrome turned so many comedians into unfunny boring faggots.

 

[Troon_Patrol]

Norm was fucking great, I loved him on SNL but, really even on the Mike Tyson show Pigeon was my favorite character. I would agree traditional school doesn't always give a representation of intelligence, many great men did terrible in school and went on to accomplish amazing things. I did poorly in school, went on to start my own buisness purchased a large home and few cars. Metrics in school don't always show true intelligence but, they overwhelmingly do represent it, the exception to the rule is the genius who did poorly in school, like Norm. As I said the rest of the time shitty grades=poor intelligence like our Fatty, of course. I don't know how to describe him, I mean he's obviously not smart, pissing away over $100k over an online argument, then not realizing he'd be on the hook for legal fees? Spending 10K just so he can keep his followers on twitter? @Null nailed it, he has a genuine mental illness, I'm no doctor but Narcissistic personality disorder fits him like a glove. He literally sees himself as the "hero" of his own fictional world, he cannot conceive a world where he's over 40, unemployed, fat, a mediocre writer, driving a boring car worth less than 5k, owing his mortal enemy tens of thousands of dollars, spending more time on twitter than a teenage girl,abandoning his infant daughter. He literally cannot comprehend it, and it is all goddam hilarious (ok, well except the deadbeat dad thing, that is kinda sad). I really hope he's lurking here, reading all this, that makes it even better. Hey fatty! Don't forget on Thursday, the Judge is just a part of the cabal of evil stalker children! You'd better put him in his place, lecture him on how the original judges ruling is illegitimate, if he interrupts you, just raise your voice and call him a "child", if the bailiff tells you to shut up, you'd best show him how tough you really are! I'm sure Nikki wil forgive you for making her spend time in jail over your online pissing match! More than anything just remember whatever happens we will all be watching and we will all be laughing at you. Cheers!

 

[AnOminous]

You'd better put him in his place, lecture him on how the original judges ruling is illegitimate, if he interrupts you, just raise your voice and call him a "child", if the bailiff tells you to shut up, you'd best show him how tough you really are!

He'd definitely better let this pitiable martinet of a "judge" know how illegitimate his so-called "authority" is and what a child he is. It will take a true man to put this sad judge in his place.

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

Shhh baby infant. You’re doing that thing with your mouth again. Patrick is more than capable of getting sent to jail on contempt, child. And then there is the self swatting that he’s blaming on stalkers like you. Wait for the knock.

Look, they don't build cars anymore like they used to. They build them far better. Which is why it's more important than ever to maintain them properly.

Goddammit, Patlore is too fat to keep it all in your head at the same time, I forgot both of these gems, Rick is so brilliant in ways no one could emulate or make up themselves. A grown man saying, "You're doing that thing with your mouth again," to another adult man over the phone during an argument is straight-up Coen Brothers. Just forget what you know about Pigsley, if you saw someone act like this in a movie you'd think it was terrible character-building, who would act like that?

And just thinking of his self-satisfied face after writing that Torque Wheeler slugline, he musta thought that was top-notch tough guy prose - statement, mis-misdirection, non-sequitor, that's Dorque's rhetorical technique. "Sure, they must make cars differently now - better? Yeah, I guess I'd hope so. And so now I have to take better care of it because they made it better? Better for whom? Now I don't even know what you think 'better' means, you weirdo."

 

[AnOminous]

And just thinking of his self-satisfied face after writing that Torque Wheeler slugline, he musta thought that was top-notch tough guy prose - statement, mis-misdirection, non-sequitor, that's Dorque's rhetorical technique.

And then his actual prize possession is an absolutely ludicrous piece of shit Rustang. I've had fucking Volvo station wagons more badass than that piece of trash.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

Ha! Gay!
And also fat.

 

[Captain Manning]

I've never been a big fan of penis compensator muscle cars but I always thought the 60's and 70's ones look way better than the modern ones.

I agree with this, but I actually like the S197 because I think it's the closest Ford has come to the stylings of the original from 1964 to 1973.

Patrick liking S197 too makes me almost MATI. I wish he owned and bragged about a Fox Body. Then I could really laugh at his stupid fat ass over this. I always thought the Fox Bodies were ugly as sin.

 

[Johnny Doxville]

I know most people love Conan, so I feel like I'm about to Patrick my way into my own personal Norm/11, but as a non-american, I gotta ask... Why does anyone watch that show? I swear I've tried to, but both Conan and Richter put me off big time. Conan looks and sounds like a complete arrogant douchebag who needs to get that stupid hair punched off his scalp, and Richter looks like a pathetic dog (either just sitting there doing nothing but leaving fleas on the couch, or obnoxiously begging for his master's attention).

Maybe my opinion comes just from me not "getting" american humor, because people always told me these two were hillarious. But when you have Norm there, stealing the show... In in my humble opinion the difference between a real comedian and those two is just too great.

A lot of people covered the points, he's kinda funny but not an outstanding host.

I wanted to add that Conan was a writer/producer during the most beloved period of the simpsons

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Looking forward to EVS discussing Pat on this episode (being recorded after the hearing date):

 

[An automatic clown]

I'm watching Dan's stream. Probably gonna be terrible

So far he says he's not going to the hearing but he has a mole who will be in the courtroom on 8/24 . Dan will be doing a live stream reporting what his mole relays him on 8/24 around noon est

Eta: he got into a slap fight with a pest and told him to call in using nanaphone and the guy didn't/couldn't figure it out then Dan basically read the stuff from Jackies thread. He kept muting himself and the chat lit him up so he cut the stream short. Didn't even go a full hour

Eta2: Dan tweeted this. Did he finally get the knock ?

 

[MavisBeaconTeachesSnipin]

Redoing this post because I'm a retarded and accidentally deleted it the first time. Fuck.

---

The Brothermen may hate everyone on KF, but how am I supposed to not archive this? It's the kind of shit that's just too retarded, too funny, and too fat to happen to anyone else but Pat. Thanks brotherman Jenna for the rib damage.

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Brotherman FrickleFrackle chimes in, reminding us of one of Pat's Xeets about the gym:
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Now, is it true? I can't say for sure, but I can say I remember Piggy telling a certain journalist he is "into things". And I also remember Pat said in a tweet that the used the sauna every single day he went to the gym. But alas, I guess we'll never know...

...Nah, screw that, this theory answers too many mysteries. I'm this close to elevating it to confirmed canon, all we need now is some professional opinion:
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Good enough. It's settled then.

lmao I logged in to share these posts too.

pork squealer's new theme song:

 

[Clusterfuckk2]

Cross posting this from A & N cause it’s definitely gonna cause a squeal out from piggy.

https://variety.com/2023/digital/news/elon-musk-x-twitter-block-feature-delete-1235699759/

Imagine how many prisoner enjoyers we are gonna get now.

 

[TheOtherSideofMakeBelieve]

"Safety feature"..."abuse"..."harassment"... I'm so sorry, Pig.

Acutal tough guys don't need "safety features" to protect them from words on a screen.

It's not about keeping actual tough guys like Pat safe, it's for the stalkerbabychilds that will end up mysteriously ground into pepperoni if they engage in too much felony funposting

 

[IDanceonTrannyGraves]

Conan was fantastic as a follow-up to Leno the way Letterman was great following Carson... All of them were funny in their own way, but Conan simply didn't do well in the 11:30 time-slot and Dave, though CBS stuck with him, consistently lost to Leno in the ratings over much of their head-to-head run.

The problem with both Letterman and Conan is that neither was content being the follow-up guy but neither was truly outstanding in the lead-off position. And Conan, for me, lost a lot of likability with the way he responded to his failure to launch at 11:30. The real villains were the NBC execs for trying to keep Leno and Conan and screwing with both of their acts, but Conan - with the help of Dave, Howeird Stern and eternal faggot Kimmel - made a bit out of blaming Leno as the big bad [and promptly, along with the rest of them, ran it into the ground]. And Leno still went on to do better than Letterman until his real retirement. Kimmel continued to eat shit on GayBC and Stern completed his transition to Hamptons Howie and a significantly less funny version of Imus the Golden Years.

And, let's be honest, Dave became a tremendous shitlib douchebag as he moved from the late 2000s through retirement, only to be followed by Colbert who is just awful in every possible way.

Say what you will about Conan and Dave, but they both supported Norm all through his career. Even while Andy was crying about Norm in the podcast after Norm died, Conan just brushed it aside and continued talking about how great Norm was.

 

[Next Task]

This fat faggot with bitch tits literally claims he will "spoon-feed" you your teeth.

It's like the other mistaken tough guy quote. Feeding someone their teeth is just punching someone in the mouth so hard they lose teeth. Pat, always needing to get a childing in there, adds the spoon to seem tougher, but just muddies the threat and makes himself look more pathetic.

to be fair the Colbert Report was pretty amusing I always loved those medical skits

I still maintain The Colbert Report was really good, just like most comedians who dealt with politics TDS drained all humour and replaced it with sanctimony.

It always interested me when he had lefties on, how often his purposefully idiotic right-wing character still managed to out-argue them. He'd be setting them up for a slam dunk and so often they'd just not be able to make their case, even given an easy opportunity to do so. Many times, the people on the right that came on knew that having a sense of humour about yourself is a great way to be sympathetic, something that a number on the left just couldn't manage.

Also, he stood up to a bullshit cancel culture attempt without apologising or breaking character. TDS really did destroy a lot of people's ability to be funny. I won't say they were never funny, that would be revisionist to me, but they just aren't, and can't be, anymore.

Pat is, but only unintentionally. There's a certain type of person who loves terrible stand-up, but I'm not one of them - too cringe. But Pat as a person, a very fat person who definitely has absolutely no sense of humour about himself? Hilarious.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Conan's podcast, or at least the clips of it on YouTube I've seen are pretty good. Telling dumb jokes and stories, extended conversations with people is stuff he's way better at than the dumb late night talk show he dreamed of for some reason. Also a better selection of guests and topics than whatever dumb actors are promoting, free talk about dumb industry stuff, etc.

Some Norm talk:

Andy Richter's thing seems really boring and self-important though but I've only seen a few of the clips on the channel.

 

[grey area]

I'm watching Dan's stream. Probably gonna be terrible

So far he says he's not going to the hearing but he has a mole who will be in the courtroom on 8/24 . Dan will be doing a live stream reporting what his mole relays him on 8/24 around noon est

Eta: he got into a slap fight with a pest and told him to call in using nanaphone and the guy didn't/couldn't figure it out then Dan basically read the stuff from Jackies thread. He kept muting himself and the chat lit him up so he cut the stream short. Didn't even go a full hour

Eta2: Dan tweeted this. Did he finally get the knock ?
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Why does he disclose shit so freely? Poor hit rate IMO, just keep your plans quiet for fuck's sake.