- Joined
- Jan 29, 2022
New TiF tells her brother's boyfriend (brother identifies as a woman) that she is identifies as a man and the boyfriend responds and tells her that she isn't a man because she has a feminine energy like her TiM brother. Pooner is crushed.
link | archive
link | archive
About two week ago, me ( 18 ) & my sister’s boyfriend ( 39 ) were sitting in his car. The week before this event, I finally let most of my family know that I go by he/him pronouns, but would understand if they can’t or if they struggle with it. When I called him to let him know, I was purposely kind of secretive & not going into it too much because I know he would never see me as anything but female, but I knew my mom would probably end up telling him at some point because he is close with our family.
So flash forward to when we’re in the car, we start talking about the Barbie movie, I honestly can’t remember why. He said he hasn’t watched it but he heard reviews (aka the conservatives that are mad that the movie is not just abt men) & went on a whole tangent about how if I were to transition everything in life would be harder for me because men live life harder & “women live life on easy mode.” I understand that he was trying to explain his experience as a cis man & that in a lot of ways the patriarchy hurts men too, but the “women live life easy” part honestly pissed me off & it just isn’t true.
He went on a whole tangent abou it but I felt like I owed him an explanation because he asked & I was trying to be more honest with my family after 2 years of only having my friends know & using he/him for me. So I told him I’m probably non-binary leaning masc but I don’t want to put a label on myself yet & that I don’t see myself going on T anytime soon. I honestly can’t remember what he said but ik that he kind of has weird opinions about non binary people so I didn’t want to get too into it. that’s how he started talking about my sister (she is MTF) & how in her soul she is female, like everything about her is so feminine that she is in unclockable pretty much, & I agree.
The reason I made this post is because of what he said after that. He said “personally, I think that your spirit is female, in your soul you are a female”. I never NOT ONCE asked him for his opinion or what he thought my gender was. I’m taken aback because he’s helped me through so much, but at the same time he has been doing weird things not related to gender stuff that has me seeing him in a different light. I already know that I come off more feminine, I didn’t need to hear it from him. There are a ton of guys with feminine personalities, but someone that I considered family reaffirming that I’m basically too feminine to be a guy made me feel weird. And ever since that night, my chest dysphoria has gotten worse than it ever has.
I feel bad that maybe I’m not taking his comments into enough consideration..so is it wrong of me for letting his comments get to me? Should I let my sister know what he said? Should I talk to him about it? Or should I just try to get over it?
So flash forward to when we’re in the car, we start talking about the Barbie movie, I honestly can’t remember why. He said he hasn’t watched it but he heard reviews (aka the conservatives that are mad that the movie is not just abt men) & went on a whole tangent about how if I were to transition everything in life would be harder for me because men live life harder & “women live life on easy mode.” I understand that he was trying to explain his experience as a cis man & that in a lot of ways the patriarchy hurts men too, but the “women live life easy” part honestly pissed me off & it just isn’t true.
He went on a whole tangent abou it but I felt like I owed him an explanation because he asked & I was trying to be more honest with my family after 2 years of only having my friends know & using he/him for me. So I told him I’m probably non-binary leaning masc but I don’t want to put a label on myself yet & that I don’t see myself going on T anytime soon. I honestly can’t remember what he said but ik that he kind of has weird opinions about non binary people so I didn’t want to get too into it. that’s how he started talking about my sister (she is MTF) & how in her soul she is female, like everything about her is so feminine that she is in unclockable pretty much, & I agree.
The reason I made this post is because of what he said after that. He said “personally, I think that your spirit is female, in your soul you are a female”. I never NOT ONCE asked him for his opinion or what he thought my gender was. I’m taken aback because he’s helped me through so much, but at the same time he has been doing weird things not related to gender stuff that has me seeing him in a different light. I already know that I come off more feminine, I didn’t need to hear it from him. There are a ton of guys with feminine personalities, but someone that I considered family reaffirming that I’m basically too feminine to be a guy made me feel weird. And ever since that night, my chest dysphoria has gotten worse than it ever has.
I feel bad that maybe I’m not taking his comments into enough consideration..so is it wrong of me for letting his comments get to me? Should I let my sister know what he said? Should I talk to him about it? Or should I just try to get over it?
seems his buddies in Zarephath Horeb were more right than they were wrong about all kinds of shit.
