==Characters Introduced in Order of Appearance; Character Status==
Bryan Benson,
A police(?) detective and our leading man, a gigasaurus who loves sports and evading responsibility, possibly taxation too.
Chao Feng,
The First Officer (of what?), and a douchedrinker according to Benson.
Lau,
The captain of Patrick's favorite Chinese sports team.
Edmond Laraby,
The missing geneticist whom the plot revolved around, found dead and dumped in space.
Avelina Pereira da Silva,
Science Director; Head of Environmental Research & Development. Got her full name in Chapter 3
Vasquez,
Not to be confused with Vasquez from Aliens; a player in Patrick's favorite sports game.
Lindqvist,
A sports player not even worthy of description by Patrick. Must be a PCJ caricature.
Ther
esa Alexopolous,
A lieutenant, and a Duty Officer (of what?), sidekick to the Chad Bryan Benson.
Vikram Bahadur,
Chief Constable of the Chinatown District, on par with Bryan Benson. Definitely not a Sikh.
Nibiru,
Not a character, but a black hole on the edge of a solar system. Probably the best character, though, if it's anything like Black Hole Sun.
Devorah Feynman,
Curator of the Museum, wants to preserve humanity's culture by locating and securing authentic works of art.
Constable Pavel Korolev,
Ther
esa sent him to back-up Benson; a rookie that's greener than grass.
Chef Takahashi,
Probably Japanese. Probably a chef.
Magistrate Boswell,
Probably king of the douchedrinkers.
Salvador 'Sal' Kite
Old guy with "war stories"; criminal scum who paid the court a fine and/or served his sentence for participating in a massive art heist.
Old Benny
Criminal scum who has violated the law.
Director Hekekia,
Engineering genius or something. Big Samoan guy who speaks better than Benson.
Dr. Jeanine Russell,
Medbay staffer on the Ark.
Captain Mahama,
Maybe the Captain of the Ark's crew. Strong old African woman.
Sahni,
Another nondescript *Zero Finals* player lol. Still noting her just in case they become relevant.
Madison Atwood,
Bryan Benson's PE Teacher; works as a constable in Chinatown.
Magistrate Jindal,
A judge that appears to have a perverse desire to do his job properly.
Duty Officer Hernandez,
Another constable belonging to Benson's cadre.
Celine DiMaggio,
An art thief. Has Alzheimer's in the future where such diseases should have been wiped out.

--E1: Following the conclusion of Chapter 8 (this pacing sucks, are chapters in modern novels typically this sliced and diced?), Benson heads back to base. Patrick couldn't resist more
*Zero Finals* input and boy howdy do I feel genuinely enervated when everything takes a backseat to a paragraph of this nonsense. It's the worst part of the book; It's padding, but so much worse than that. It's enough to make a man take up drinking.
Ther
esa and Benson show us just how advanced their relationship is despite a lack of tangible development, so that's swell; more innuendo, in case we weren't sufficiently disenchanted.
Skimming over some meandering, Benson tells Ther
esa that he needs camera feeds from all locks and airlocks, internal and external. (Note: I don't know why he says locks because the following is specifically about cameras in and around airlocks, meaning this was more awkward shit never proofread.) His love interest shakes her head, explaining all the video feeds were deleted -
Woah!!! And there's no digital fingerprint because the, uh, "
memory cluster glitched" according to one of the techs.

Here's a good one: condescension classes. Patrick might be able to tell us all about that! Hell, he probably teaches 'em!
More meandering, with our two heroes deducing quite easily that Laraby did not, in fact, delete the recordings after he spaced himself. Ther
esa posits a timeline and a web of conspiracy, as only someone at the top of the Ark's hierarchy would have the ability to delete surveillance recordings. Benson reiterates that they need access to Laraby's private files: he may have known something dangerous to the powers that be - those powers could have bribed him with a big house and authentic painting to keep his loyalty, and it might not have worked.
To that end, Benson declares they'll formally announce a murder investigation is underway to make it harder for anyone at the top to bury the case. Ther
esa cautions him that doing so before the autopsy is performed could be premature, but Benson wants to act before another "glitch" gets to Laraby's private files - and that's actually a hint of compelling writing there. For a second, there was a real push! More than that, he ponders how large the conspiracy among the Ark's Crewmen must be. If everyone was in on it, then the missing persons report never would have been made. Someone powerful is muddying the waters, and that's all they may currently be able to do.

But the chapter has to end with more out of place innuendo. Frankly it wouldn't be out of place if it weren't Patrick writing it. I could see two lovers squaring off against a silent threat in the upper strata keeping each other's spirits up like this... but it's Bryan Benson and Ther
esa Alexopolous, so I feel nothing.

--E2: I weep strained tears as, following a break/interlude, I'm struck by more
*Zero Finals*. Read at your own peril. Briefly: Benson headed to the Mustang's game. Great! Why?

But then something unexpected happens! Bryan Benson finds himself in mortal danger of being culturally enriched by an assailant with a knife! A fight scene occurs, with the
*Zero Finals* champion activating his lightning reflexes and engaging with an attacker that appears diminutive at first glance. Our athletic detective gets slashed in the forearm and retreats with a defensive kick. The bastard advances while Benson reaches for his Stun-stick, hits the button...! And nothing happens.
The fight scene is debilitating to read thanks to all of the random inserts, like "exactly as Newton would predict".

Benson gains the upper hand, landing a heavy blow. His attacker staggers off, fleeing into the night while Bryan phones Command to report the attempted murder of a constable. It doesn't work, however: Command can't point him to the attack because he's off the grid! Benson's
*plant* wasn't feeding an ID as mentioned earlier, meaning the fucker's getting away!
Thinking fast, Benson orders Command to activate Avalon's lighting. The artificial daylight slowly powers on, but Benson's losing blood fast, several deep cuts to the bone robbing him of consciousness. The attack gets away, leaving little trace. With no way to follow, he slumps down to wait for backup and rescue.