Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Turd Fergusson]

Maybe that's all Jade does. Wipes Amber's neck down and then just starts sucking for 10 seconds.

Vacuum cleaner hose.

Which individual, who has reached the age of majority and without a blood disorder, shows constantly with a hickey?

I believe that Amber is trying mightily to show that they are still a couple, or at least have a romantic relationship. I think that her search for her next girlfriend is not going well.

Amber has a new flat to move to now, likely in Oklahoma. Jade knows very well that if she moves with Amber there, she will have to pack all Amber's possession.

 

[Black-coffee-queen]

I am not good enough with computers to screen shot but in her most recent video you can see a what I think is hicky at the 8:43.

That's usually Amber's way of telling the world she had the sex.

I always wondered how that happens. Does Amber demand Jade to suck her neck in order to show us proof?

Maybe that's all Jade does. Wipes Amber's neck down and then just starts sucking for 10 seconds.

That's sex right?

Ngl I find it unbelievable that anyone can get sexually excited by this mammoth heifer. Yes there’s ‘someone for everyone’ blah blah but doesn’t such chemistry rely on the senses to turn our brains on? The touch and feel of the body, the look of said body, the scent of the skin and the eventual tastes of it: I just cannot get my brain to compute that, any part of Amber is in any way able to alight even one of the senses. Therefore, I must conclude that Jade has a paraphilia called lipophilia, of the top most degree. She must get wet fondling Ambers dirty, smelly fat folds, tasting her damp, bacteria ridden flesh and suckling on it. I mean, Amber cannot physically participate in any sex acts towards Jade can she? She can’t move, I doubt she can even get her wrist and hand to do repetitive movements for long. I bet Jadey just ‘does stuff’ to big al?
Sorry for the visual imagery but, someone has to dispute this ‘5 times a day/ we hooked up’ bollox even if we all know big al (just like big chins) lies.

 

[notfoodienotbeauty]

. I think that her search for her next girlfriend is not going well.

I agree. I think this is why she is trying to appear like she is losing weight. She did the same thing when she first met jade online. Jade was the most support she has ever had. We saw how long that lasted. It will be the same when she finds a new girlfriend/ass wiper.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

I agree. I think this is why she is trying to appear like she is losing weight. She did the same thing when she first met jade online. Jade was the most support she has ever had. We saw how long that lasted. It will be the same when she finds a new girlfriend/ass wiper.

It wasn't so long ago she was cryeeen on camera about how "guilty" she would feel about losing weight post-Wipey because she wasn't motivated enough to do it when they were together, so I wonder if this is her trying to be on her best behaviour to win Jade back before she high tails it to New York or wherever.

 

[Ayygs and Layygs]

Unless this bitch is doing meth, who cares.

 

[TC-P]

I have not been following Amber for awhile and stopped watching ages ago. I had to stop as it seemed to me that either everyone was writing synopsis of the same video when the reality was all her videos are the same. I have read a few months back but still not sure when and why Jade and Amber broke up. Would someone be kind and give a brief synopsis.

 

[adrawerwithnoforks]

I have not been following Amber for awhile and stopped watching ages ago. I had to stop as it seemed to me that either everyone was writing synopsis of the same video when the reality was all her videos are the same. I have read a few months back but still not sure when and why Jade and Amber broke up. Would someone be kind and give a brief synopsis.

We don't know why they really broke up. We only know what Amber has told us, and she lies/doesn't give any real specifics. She did a video with Jade (no picture, just sound) about the breakup but didn't actually tell us the details of what happened. Lots of word salad. Supposedly it happened around the 4th of July. I can't remember any particularly interesting details from the video, hopefully someone else can.

Better farmers than me have used context clues to assert that Jade wanted Amber to lose weight. This goes along with Amber trying to lose when they first got together. Then she quit the WLS and Jade quit her. Wipey likes her gals big but still able to travel and do things besides order Doordash.

 

[Black-coffee-queen]

I have not been following Amber for awhile and stopped watching ages ago. I had to stop as it seemed to me that either everyone was writing synopsis of the same video when the reality was all her videos are the same. I have read a few months back but still not sure when and why Jade and Amber broke up. Would someone be kind and give a brief synopsis.

We never got to see jade on the vlogs, we saw her hands, the odd tattoo she wanted to show off and heard her speak off camera now and again and yet this fat cow expected us to mourn their relationship, nope! She vlogged herself cryeeeen (obviously) saying “ they had broken up but it was a MUTUAL decision “ reasons she couldn’t discuss, “we love each other” (like no one has ever loved before) “but we just cannot be together “ the star-crossed lover’s fantasy! Yawn! More cryeeeen vlogs followed with big al now having free reign to stuff her face as she was ‘ greeeeeving you guys’ and they were living together but not sleeping in the same bed (unlike past habits of needing to still share a bed with ex’s) Big al tried to imply without actually implying that, they couldn’t share a bed or hug because their passion and lust for each others bodies would just lead to ya know….. we saw them continue to shop together and discuss moving etc until the other day, big al excitedly told us they had ‘hooked up’ the night before! and she didn’t know how it happened but they are not getting back together.
She still refuses to say where she is moving to and has hardly packed a thing. She of course says the usual’ she’s my soulmate, we are best friends and we intend to always stay in touch. We just both have things we need to work on and the time is not right for us right now. She has also tried to drop hints that she was the one to initiate the break up. Many of us believe that the problem is the same as in the beginning. Jade is poly and big al is (too much of a narcissist) not. She also implied that jade may have her own mental health problems and possibly be an alcoholic.
That’s about it really. Two years and jades out! Meanwhile, big al is online, (TikTok mostly) flirting, with her chest fat crushed together to mimic a cleavage, as she tries to hook another caretaker. Any takers?

 

[TC-P]

I want to thank both of you for answering my questions regarding the break-up.

 

[deputydogshit2.0]

While it’s being discussed…. When the break up first happened Big gay Al said it was mutual. A few days later she said some horse shit about it no longer being mutual. Did she ever address that? I took it as Al realized she was fucked going solo and asked Jade to reconsider and Jade passed on the opportunity.

 

[Surprised Pikachu]

Amberlynn fucking Reid. “I vlog my whole life you guise, you know EVERYTHING about me..”

Well played Big Al, well played. Even the Farms knows fuck all.

This is not an accusation btw, just an observation. We are bloody well trying here but look at what she gives us to work with, no wonder no one cares anymore.

 

[FatalTater]

Amber lies SO much.
She's like a little kid that won't stop talking but is only telling "tall tales" so that the exhausted adults are just nodding along but not listening to a single word.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

While it’s being discussed…. When the break up first happened Big gay Al said it was mutual. A few days later she said some horse shit about it no longer being mutual. Did she ever address that? I took it as Al realized she was fucked going solo and asked Jade to reconsider and Jade passed on the opportunity.

Yeah, that was pretty much it. Basically:

Amber started the first week or so with it being mutual, saying that she knew what she deserved, as (according to Amber) Jade had a lot of problems and refused to get her shit together. Amber said that Jade wasn't leaving her because of her WEIGHT, but because of her HEALTH, because Amber couldn't travel the way Jade wanted to (so, basically her WEIGHT - just not specifically her LOOKS). Translation: Jade didn't want to be chained to a 600lb anchor. Amber was sad, but everything was so mature and hulthy about the breakup! And Amber was initiating it (and in fact, Amber had supposedly been discussing breaking up for a MONTH before it happened) because self-less Amber loved Jade so much that she wanted her to be able to travel and blah blah blah.

Then a week or so later, Amber tried to get back together with Jade, and Jade said "HELL NAH!". Amber declared it no longer *mutual* because Amber said that she would take reliving their worst days every day to be back with Jade, and Jade was done.

Then recently, Amber said that she didn't want Jade back, and even when she was telling her audience that she wanted Jade back, Amber used her self-control not to get back together with Jade because it was TOTES Amber's choice (when in actuality, Amber never had that choice because Jade was done with her).

And if you're confused after all that ... it isn't you; there was no real consistency in how Amber described the breakup or exactly why it happened. My personal theory is this: Amber's being a cunt, Jade puts her foot down, and Amber threatens to breakup to get Jade in line (I'm guessing that "I guess we're breaking up then" was a line used on Jade, like Amber used with Destiny). This time instead of capitulating, Jade accepts Amber's proposal, and *BOOM* goes the dynamite.

Really, it was just a way for Amber to retcon the story, because NO ONE believed that the breakup was 'mutual'. Amber was trying to find a way to justify being 'heartbroken' and the victim, so she had the justification to eat on camera like a gluttonous swine - while also appearing to be the one in control of the entire situation (type deal).

 

[ImJustJokingGuys]

WEIGHT, but because of her HEALTH

It was clearly for neither of these things and Amber won't admit it. The news of once again failing to qualify for WLS plus having to prepare Amber for a simple outing to watch fireworks broke the camel's back. The clue is in the "sometimes love just isn't enough" statement. Wipey probably had an existential crisis mid-wipedown of Amber, realising that any outing or celebration will always take additional effort. To fully bathe, clean and dress Amber must be an hour long struggle. I'm discounting any extra effort involved for outfit changes because Amber is the exact kind of gorl to try on multiple outfits before leaving to go anywhere.

It was to do with Amber's weight but not the weight itself, rather the absolute struggle it brings to those around Amber.

That's why Amber is vague about the details of the break up. Unless the story of their break up is "Wipey couldn't bring herself to wipe me down again" it's a lie.

 

[Suspicious Activity]

In my opinion we are over complicating this. Jade saw the opening for Amber’s new, live-in help slash gorlfriend and saw potential money, gifts, a nice home and maybe fat-girl sex if she’s into that. She was poly and thought she’d bring Amber round to that, maybe. Perhaps she thought she really could help her with her fitness and diet. It doesn’t sound bad on paper.

But living it was different. Amber is self obsessed, obnoxious, demanding and annoying. She is a human mentally stuck at 15 whose only joy is food, consumerism and gifts…buying and receiving. Jade actually wanted a life. Going places. Travelling sometimes and maybe even just more stimulating company with someone with a personality.

I don’t know if it had to be one specific thing thing that had her out….just that she realised Amber was not for her. Amber is probably the most selfish and self obsessed person I’ve ever seen.

I think that Amber managed to twist this into “this was a mutual breakup” by perhaps coming back with “well I need someone who can make videos with me. I don’t need someone who won’t appear on camera”. And that was the whole ‘mutual’ thing.

It’s been fun watching her scramble to find a new caretaker. The cleavage out. The hair washed. The full bubbly ‘Alexandra Rodriguez’ personality she trots out when she thinks she’s being quirky and likeable. She’s been showing off the pets too, as if they’re an attraction. Is it not working instantly, like she’s been used to? She’s being very vague about her moving plans.

I’m really looking forward to the next few months and eagerly anticipate the introduction of a new wiper.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

@ImJustJokingGuys Oh, absolutely agree. I just found it funny how in that monologue, Amber SPECIFICALLY said "It's not about my WEIGHT... it's about my HEALTH", and then she mentions reasons that are clearly about her weight. Yet the slam against her weight didn't bother her, because Jade presented it in a way that made it clear that it wasn't her APPEARANCE (because Amber is such a vain and superficial person).

Amber also used the "sometimes love just isn't enough" line with the Becky breakup, too, so it might not have had to do with specifically hosing her down, tarping her up, and trying to stuff her dainty little quadrouple-wide cankle bulbs into those blown out ballet flats. I mean, Becky was the willing asswiper - she even admitted to wiping Amber's ass AFTER THEY BROKE UP! I believe it was Goggins who mentioned in his first book that people tend to give up on something for at least two reasons, and they've already made the decision at least 8 hours before actually quitting. There was a lot of shit we've seen with Amber over the years, and it was likely that it was ALL happening during the Jade era.

In no particular order:

1. Amber's weaponization of mental illness. Amber claims to be Dx'ed with: Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Unipolar Depression, Bipolar Depression, OCD, OCPD, PTSD, Dermatillomania (excoriation), multiple addictions, night terrors, and traumatic memory loss (and of course, ASMR) - and that all of her shitty behaviours are the result of them. Meanwhile, Jade actually has Bipolar, yet has to completely control it (on her own time), while caring for Ambo day and night.
2. Amber's unwillingness to put any sustained effort in trying to control any of these conditions. In fact, she goes out of her way to aggravate them instead.
3. Amber's 24/7 obsession re: every single written and spoken word about her across the entire internet (Hi, Pookie! We know you're here).
4. Amber's severe mood-swings regarding those written and spoken words - or anything, for that matter. In fact, Amber has boasted about switching within hours (possibly minutes?)
5. Amber's severe control issues around EVERYTHING.
6. Amber's obsession with Destiny at least 6 YEARS after they broke up. (That livestream with Amber talking to Destiny on the phone was a few days before they broke up).
7. Amber's unwillingness to learn to drive OR find ways to get around by herself.
8. Amber's insistence of doing all shopping and driving errands IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
9. Amber's slovenly behaviour in the apartment (especially in the shared spaces).
10. Amber's terrible hygiene. And her expectation of Jade to share beds and be physically close to her regardless.
11. Amber's constant lying.
12. Amber's 24/7/365 obsession with food.
13. Amber's weaponized helplessness (One example was how she claimed to not be able to put the clothes from the washer to dryer, or from the dryer to basket due to her teeny t-rex arms. Yet she had no problem putting the stuff in the washer (making sure that her partner has do Amber's laundry on Amber's schedule and not theirs). Another example was how Amber had Jade schedule Amber's appointments. There was a vlog during the dangleeng lung saga where Ambo's sitting outside of the hospital, and says something like "Yeah, FALINE is still in the hospital, booking my follow up appointment for me".
14. Amber's complete lack of focus and direction, starting and then abandoning plans within a timespan of days (and sometimes even HOURS).
15. Amber's absolute defeatest attitude over EVERYTHING that's her responsibility.
16. Amber's unwillingness to take responsibility for ANYTHING.

I mean, really, take your pick.

[Edited because every time I think I'm done, I remember more shit]

 

[Ben Lurkin']

Amber: "We hooked-up! I don't know why it happened, or how it happened but it just happened...it literally just happened!"

Uh-huh. Sure Jan Al.

How about just maybe...

...Jade just happened to start drinking again.

​

Would be understandable. Moving Hamber-the-Hippo-Hoarder while she sits on her shelf would drive Bill W., founder of AA, straight to a bottle.​

...and she just happened to pass out on Hamber's bed, while she just happened to be vacuuming, then Hamber just happened to get tangled up with the vacuum hose, so she just happened to give herself a happenstance hicky.

But, a "real hook-up" with JadeWipeyMuhGorlfrenPolyamorousFaline situation-type hook-up?

Yah, naw...a drunken, blacked-out, vacuum hose molment, however unlikely, is more likely than any real smexy shit
actually habbening with JadeFrancis (soon to be back in) NYC.* That didn't now-didn't evah-just happen.

* Speaking of Noo Yark, it's lookeen like we'll need a new poll...'cause very soon it's going to be "Bye, Felicia Floating-Arm Faaaaline."​

 

[Pepper Jack]

Slamming Trump on social media in 2016 + 7. I don't know if the Internet is ready for these spicy takes, Hambo. you better calm the fuck down.

Amber was just having a Trump moment.

 

[deputydogshit2.0]

I hesitate to use the expression “stupidest thing I’ve ever heard” because every time I do, the universe says “hold my beer.”

However , I was just watching a reaction (Alex is shook). Evidently Amber said she wasn’t wearing earrings bc she could not find the back of them.

Are you telling me this ‘weapon of massive consumption’ does not realize that earring backs are almost always interchangeable? One back will usually fit several pairs of earrings.

This is quite literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
Come on fatso, do something even dumber now.

 

[Bees]

My nigga she gained weight in her earlobes and the earring posts are now too short. She got too fat for earrings.