James Rolfe / James D. Rolfe / Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) / Rex Viper and Cinemassacre / Screenwave - Now with not much grieving about a 41-year old man still making videos on YouTube. We're the balls on the dick.

[xXx: State of the Union]

People think what will fix AVGN is to take it in new directions, or have him review games from after 2000 or something.

But it's just going to be like when Doug Walker started having the Nostalgia Critic do a bunch of skits and review modern movies.

The character has ran it's course. James isn't invested or interested anymore. There isn't a magical fix. You're not going to get new writers that "nail" it. You're not going to find some magical newer game or trick to make James give more of a shit.

Indiana, let it go.

 

[Pissmaster]

They should do an episode where the nerd saws off his hands in a gory body horror segment and then he has to play bad floor pad games like Super Team Games, Flow: Urban Dance Uprising, and Pump it Up Exceed.

Like really, James loves horror movies, he's clearly burned out on the AVGN, he might as well go balls out and pull some Paul Verhoeven shit just to kick some life into the series. Body horror + video games isn't really anything anyone's ever done. How about a phase where the Nerd becomes psychotic and starts hunting down developers and characters, and ties them to a chair and forces them to play shitty games? Or sews screens into their eyes? He'd imprison a person and force them to reach level 9999 in a Disgaea game, while explaining what that entails to the camera like it's his personal blog, all with the person in the background being tortured by the game. The Nerd going psychotic would make for a really saucy reinventing of the character. It might get stale after a season, but hey, there's an idea I think he could pull off.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

 

[BrunoMattei]

I was just about to post this. Kind of a nothing video but whoever is editing these is slacking because the keying of the green screen is fucked up and you can see the reflection of it on James' neck.

 

[Mike Matei's Penis]

Well shit, one of us should have screencapped it. It was named something like "Memories of Contra & FPS documentary", or something.

Browser caching to the rescue

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

While it's obvious why he keeps making Nerd videos, him talking about old films is always orders of magnitude better than his other types of uploads (at least as long as he doesn't pawn it off to the interns). This case it's pretty informative on a film that got replaced by the Disney adaptation.

 

[CyrusHowler]

While it's obvious why he keeps making Nerd videos, him talking about old films is always orders of magnitude better than his other types of uploads (at least as long as he doesn't pawn it off to the interns). This case it's pretty informative on a film that got replaced by the Disney adaptation.

Because he’s passionate about it.
He USED to be passionate about AVGN but it’s been almost 20 years and the bad reception of the movie depressed him I think. I mean why do you think he made 2015 the year of Board James. It’s why I personally wasn’t too bothered by Rex Viper minus Slobwave because my thinking was “well at least it makes him happy.”
He’s gonna make AVGN until he feels his daughters are financially secured for college or whatever. I mean, that’s by far his biggest money maker and although I’d rather see him make content he’s 100% passionate about, I understand why he’s continuing to do Nerd Stuff. Boy and his Blob wasn’t too bad, the hair has got to go though.


I wanted to poise a question to you goobers, what Consoles would you like the AVGN to review? I think that some of his best works are when he reviews the hardware itself. That Commodore video was actually really good IMO.

that we might just see another Behind the Scenes And Nerd Room Tour 2021-tier of response.

Nah I doubt it. I’m pretty sure Justin or the other dude that isn’t Tony told him to say something. Like they probably showed him like 3 or 4 comments or some shit from the TC”T” Cesspit. Look what happened with Ghostbusters 2016, he got waaaaay more backlash from that and he literally just acted like nothing happened. James ignores shit like that which is why it was so odd to see him actually say something. So putting 2 and 2 together, it was Screenwave that gave him bad advice and told him to say something.
It’s like that Screenwave era of Nerd videos, it was clear James wasn’t writing stuff or wasn’t FULLY writing stuff. I’ve been watching this man for 17 of the 19 years and I’ve picked up at least a few of his mannerisms and how he handles things.

 

[seri0us]

I wanted to poise a question to you goobers, what Consoles would you like the AVGN to review? I think that some of his best works are when he reviews the hardware itself. That Commodore video was actually really good IMO.

Plug and play

 

[Elaine Benes]

I wouldn’t classify him as a CAREER cow. Because he hasn’t been one the whole time. And it’s been pretty mild compared to most cows so that’s a plus I guess. But yes it’s sad to see.

Careercow, if I'm not mistaken, refers to someone whose lolcowdom is related to what they do for a living, like Ben Garrison or Hal Turner.

I wanted to poise a question to you goobers, what Consoles would you like the AVGN to review?

I've seen an Astrocade in the background of some of his videos, that would be cool to see a deep dive into.

The console ones are by far my favorite episodes. He really should do a Commodore part 2 because there's so many other games he could try. I'd love to see him going apeshit trying to beat the Banyan Tree in Jet Set Willy.

 

[CyrusHowler]

Careercow, if I'm not mistaken, refers to someone whose lolcowdom is related to what they do for a living, like Ben Garrison or Hal Turner.

Hasan Piker or Vaush would have been better examples but I thought it meant someone who’s been a cow for a long time thus making a “career” out of it. To which I’d say James has not. I barely classify him as a cow in the first place since he’s only have a few scandals and they’re very mild compared to the usual stuff on the web.

 

[White Devil]

what Consoles would you like the AVGN to review?

Neo Geo hands down.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

Neo Geo hands down.

>Neo Geo
>a platform where half of the games for it are fighters
Yea, that'll go well.

He'll probably play Puzzle Bobble and Metal Slug and call it a day since those two are the more recognizable ones.

 

[Girl Named Sandoz]

>Neo Geo
>a platform where half of the games for it are fighters
Yea, that'll go well.

i remember there was an episode of james and mike mondays where they were playing some fighting game on neo geo, mashing buttons and randomly twirling around the joystick. it was one of the worst, noisiest things i've ever seen

somewhat related, i've always hated how james insists on using joysticks with his thumb on the top like it's an analog stick instead of grabbing it. he's such a sperg

 

[seri0us]

somewhat related, i've always hated how james insists on using joysticks with his thumb on the top like it's an analog stick instead of grabbing it. he's such a sperg

He likes to handle the ball on the dick.

 

[Perfectly Innocent]

People think what will fix AVGN is to take it in new directions, or have him review games from after 2000 or something.

He doesn't even need to change anything to fix it. Any game which came out prior to 2008 would be canonically consistent for him to review today, as it would represent the same difference in era relative to the games he first reviewed in 2004. That covers the entire PS1, N64 library and almost all the mainstream PS2/GC games library (excluding a subset of very late releases).

Since the modern video games industry has become so shitty that they're mostly just remaking the same games over and over again, AVGN could dunk even harder by time traveling (an already established comedic device) to point out the same shit which never changes. In some cases, fan "demakes" turn out better than the real thing and those are deliberately made for obsolete consoles, allowing for even more creative freedom.

At this point, if he wants more money, he has no excuse not to!

 

[BrunoMattei]

>Neo Geo
>a platform where half of the games for it are fighters
Yea, that'll go well.

He'll probably play Puzzle Bobble and Metal Slug and call it a day since those two are the more recognizable ones.

It was an arcade platform so it had a lot of fighters but I disagree that's all it's known for. The launch of the home version of the system has a couple of titles that spring out largely because of their appearance on Nick Arcade. He could easily cover King of the Monsters and do a formal review of the 2nd one considering the story behind the 2nd one.

I fear you may have wished upon a monkey's paw if it does happen because you know what's going to happen with all the fighting games? It would be time for another Matt McMuscles cringe cameo. I know everyone is just clamoring for Matt to return ever since his Final Fight games appearance in what is -obviously- an all time classic Nerd episode that is infinitely quotable...

But yeah, there's plenty of non-fighters to cover like: Cyber Lip, Sengoku series (3 is the best one), Nam '75 (a good over the shoulder/gallery shooter), 6 Metal Slug games including X (of course, I think James/Screenwave would fuck up any joke regarding continuity or why name the game Metal Slug X leading to an obvious Metal Slug XXX joke), Nightmares in the Dark (GREAT horror version of Snow Bros.), Neo Bomberman, Pulstar, Blazing Star, Last Hope, Robo Army (pretty much everything that was on Nick Arcade will be highlighted and that includes Magician Lord and Mutation Nation), Shock Troopers 1 and 2, Windjammers (HUGE cult audience for this one), Top Player's Golf/Neo Turf Masters (this is ONLY if you enjoy golf games and if you don't then you will be bored as shit), the Super series (Super Baseball, Super Sidekicks, Super Baseball, etc), and Strikers 1945 Plus.

Plenty of games.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

It would be time for another Matt McMuscles cringe cameo.

No thanks. He's been getting worse and worse with each video he puts out

 

[Camo Fox]

I think that some of his best works are when he reviews the hardware itself. That Commodore video was actually really good IMO.

Can get behind this for sure, even the weird niche consoles he reviewed in his Shitsmas marathon, I very much enjoyed.

I think if he took inspiration from his old "Pong Consoles" video and made some sort of video covering different console variations that would be super cool.

Given that you mention the Commodore, a video covering the variations in old personal computers would be superb, plenty of differing computers, games and game versions for him to riff off of.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Can get behind this for sure, even the weird niche consoles he reviewed in his Shitsmas marathon, I very much enjoyed.

I think if he took inspiration from his old "Pong Consoles" video and made some sort of video covering different console variations that would be super cool.

Given that you mention the Commodore, a video covering the variations in old personal computers would be superb, plenty of differing computers, games and game versions for him to riff off of.

I think the more recent console reviews have been "okay" at best. Very paint by numbers kind of shit: he makes a big show of acquiring the console, spotlights the weird games, talks about whatever quirks for the console and the games, does a best of the worst style of showing the worst games while maintaining a fair and balanced outlook by showing some good games but the focus is rarely on just good games. Then conclude the review with an "epic" shit game that breaks him.

The Amiga CD 32 review is easily the best of the modern era console reviews. The bit with the paint can was genius.

 

[CyrusHowler]

I think the more recent console reviews have been "okay" at best. Very paint by numbers kind of shit: he makes a big show of acquiring the console, spotlights the weird games, talks about whatever quirks for the console and the games, does a best of the worst style of showing the worst games while maintaining a fair and balanced outlook by showing some good games but the focus is rarely on just good games. Then conclude the review with an "epic" shit game that breaks him.

The Amiga CD 32 review is easily the best of the modern era console reviews. The bit with the paint can was genius.

I disagree, I think the only bad Hardware review has been Aladdin Deck Enhancer. Besides that one, they’ve all been fairly good.