Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

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Patrick, if you have all the radiator panels facing each other they'll be very inefficient because they'll be intercepting and reabsorbing most of the heat they put out.

 

[W00K #17]

Fraud? He remembers that he's the one who sued them right?

He's ill. Seriously ill, and slow in the mind. Something broke in him when Quasi was finally paid.

Pat more likely will be eating his own shit and snarling "prison, any day now, for all of them" in a psych ward before he sees anyone going to prison.

I can't wait to look back on this thread 5 years from now when not a single person has even been charged for trolling Fatrick. What depths of insanity will he have descended to by then?

I'd feel bad for him if he wasn't kinda a huge ass doucheprick.

ETA: he's also fat and not very intelligent.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Look what I found! This actually answers some questions and adds more. Haha good old Patrick, even his ship designs are as brilliant as the author.

This doesn’t explain why there are different times on the ship. Just have one ship time for your clocks, nice and easy. Is the command module now cut off from the rest of the ship because of the massive hull breach? Who knows? We’ve got a Zero star to prosecute!

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Do the habitats spin two different ways just for fun?

I question the location of the bomb shelter for multiple reasons. Or is it literally a shelter for the bombs (nukes)?

Interesting that it's all the right way considering his fence...

 

[OtherLastTrainHome]

I question the location of the bomb shelter for multiple reasons. Or is it literally a shelter for the bombs (nukes)?

it's where the nuclear payload is stored: they detonated the bombs to accelerate the Ark through space, and will detonate more to stop it when they reach Tau Ceti G. which is why Shangri-La's destruction is so colossally bad for the Ark from a structural integrity standpoint. the ship has a very real critical failure chance if they try this now. at least, by my understanding. you can't just expect a fucking HULL BREACH that compromised an entire residential module to not impact this procedure.

 

[AnOminous]

it's where the nuclear payload is stored: they detonated the bombs to accelerate the Ark through space, and will detonate more to stop it when they reach Tau Ceti G. which is why Shangri-La's destruction is so colossally bad for the Ark from a structural integrity standpoint. the ship has a very real critical failure chance if they try this now.

This is obviously an Ark B situation where they put the absolutely useless people (like Patrick S. Tomlinson) into a useless and doomed vehicle.

 

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

Do the habitats spin two different ways just for fun?

Conservation of angular momentum means that if you spin a hab one way the rest of the ship will start spinning the other way. Since you only want the habs spinning and not the rest of the ship, spinning the habs in opposite directions is a way to get net zero torque and stop the rest of the ship from spinning. So, yes, there is a real practical reason to do it that way.

 

[W00K #17]

it's where the nuclear payload is stored: they detonated the bombs to accelerate the Ark through space, and will detonate more to stop it when they reach Tau Ceti G. which is why Shangri-La's destruction is so colossally bad for the Ark from a structural integrity standpoint. the ship has a very real critical failure chance if they try this now. at least, by my understanding. you can't just expect a fucking HULL BREACH that compromised an entire residential module to not impact this procedure.

DUDE TRANNY SPACE CRAB

 

[Spunt]

What's a merkin?

It's how George W Bush describes his nationality.

 

[Opposite of a Winner]

Look what I found! This actually answers some questions and adds more. Haha good old Patrick, even his ship designs are as brilliant as the author.

This doesn’t explain why there are different times on the ship. Just have one ship time for your clocks, nice and easy. Is the command module now cut off from the rest of the ship because of the massive hull breach? Who knows? We’ve got a Zero star to prosecute!

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I have many questions (I haven't read the book). Is this an interior view or does the ship genuinely look like a weird fucked up dildo? At first I thought the different times or whatever is Fatrick trying to be "clever" about time getting fucked with when traveling at the speed of light but if it's travelling by nukes then there really wouldn't be any severe time fuckery.

 

[Divine right to rule]

"Not his money, funds illegally obtained by him"
That's new. Pretty sure the judge was legally required to award Quasi his costs, but Pat knows the law better than the judge and his own attorneys. If he just knew that he could appeal Quasi would be in Guantanamo right now.

I think we need to add a new Pat to our rogues gallery. I nominate either "Lolyer Pat" or "SovCit Pat".

 

[Maude Snew]

Look what I found! This actually answers some questions and adds more. Haha good old Patrick, even his ship designs are as brilliant as the author.

This doesn’t explain why there are different times on the ship. Just have one ship time for your clocks, nice and easy. Is the command module now cut off from the rest of the ship because of the massive hull breach? Who knows? We’ve got a Zero star to prosecute!

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Sir that is a butt plug. Must have just traced his own.

 

[OtherLastTrainHome]

I have many questions (I haven't read the book). Is this an interior view or does the ship genuinely look like a weird fucked up dildo? At first I thought the different times or whatever is Fatrick trying to be "clever" about time getting fucked with when traveling at the speed of light but if it's travelling by nukes then there really wouldn't be any severe time fuckery.

the very first chapter of the Ark is God-awful; the first five pages are of such subterranean quality that his manuscript should've been instantly rejected and personally tossed in the bin by his agent. one enormous problem that permeates the text is patrick's indescribably bad grasp of worldbuilding. i'm asking you to take my word on that because getting anyone up to speed on this specific issue is not a quick process.

i have read through the entire book as of now and am preparing the final update. at no point whatsoever in this entire book have i felt grounded, immersed, and oriented within the setting - that is, the Ark itself. i have had no idea where the fuck anything is due to how frequently movements in the story appear to be gross acts of teleportation, or affected by low-gravity and three-dimensional locomotion. when i first started reading, i loosely interpreted the ark to be a gigantic flat space-ship of some kind, with obvious habitation modules and assorted doohickeys that represent engineering bays, command bays, and so forth. patrick at least established that artificial gravity was generated through spinning modules - that is, the two residential modules Avalon and Shangri-La are spinning in opposite directions so that everyone has gravity. no other part of the ship has artificial gravity, or they do, i guess, when he forgets or it is convenient.

it wasn't until i saw the alternative book cover for The Ark that i lost all sense of scale and livability on the Ark. here's that cover.



patrick's sketch diagram of the ship is extremely flawed because it doesn't properly account for places like the Biolabs and Science Modules that are present in this story, which are presumed to be of such importance, size and value that they should realistically present themselves prominently on the ship's hull, and they would need a whole heck of a lot of space and equipment and maintenance to account for the extremely specific environments hundreds of years of experimentation would require.

edit: i have a terrible habit of experiencing "staircase thoughts" where i realize i want to add on more to a post just after making it. i also want to point out that the depiction of the Ark in this book cover is actually much, much worse than what patrick's sketch indicates based on all i've read. i'm no scientist, and i'm a public school kid at the end of the day, which is why i can't help obsessing over the seemingly poor stability and integrity of this giant, unsupported stamen that can only propel itself by detonating a specifically-developed-for-this-reason nuclear payload.

 

[Caverlock]

I had posted this before:
(A)

...but it seems like a good companion to this one I found while researching two major posts I'm working on:
(A)
(he went first and last)

Looking up The Black Rose of Milwaukee on Yelp reveals it was a poorly rated, "very loud" establishment with terrible food--perfect for Patrick.


Special Boy always sets up shop at the bar, and expects NOT TO BE BOTHERED by the peasantry as he crafts. Piggy's bar spread includes: laptop (with touchpad), mouse, giant beer, pig slop, nasty hat sweaty-side-down, and whichever one of his shitty books he's converting into a screenplay that month.



If you've ever wondered how long it takes to get Pat smell out of something:


-----------------------------------

I'm working on two huge posts at the same time. They both involve Patrick, of course, but one is largely about "Author Pat", and the other mainly about the SFWA. I'll probably spoiler tag them when I post them; they're both extremely long and probably not of great interest to most readers of this thread, though I think a significant segment will find them highly interesting.

After I finish those, I'm going to start working on a mega-directory for the thread. I have a bit of a head start after compiling links to the most important posts of the first 650 pages to help Porsalin with his doc. I would have done this sooner but I got buried in RL matters, and some of them are ongoing.

I haven't Annabelle'd the thread!

 

[FinnSven]

had posted this before:

In that post he was obviously trolling for business, so a woman was going to terrify the desperate men who are so low and penniless that they HAVE to resort to buying beer in exchange for hand jobs from Fatrick.

#amwriting is code for being a talentless writer grifting by other insalubrious means.
Like how every waiter or busboy in Hollywood is in fact an actor or writer researching roles.

The sad thing is, if Fatrick wrote an Irvine Welsh or Melvyn Burgess style novel about being an impoverished alcoholic, turning tricks, rolling drunks, scraping enough money for booze together so he can go back to his hovel and block out the sounds of black men farting in his wife’s vagina, then it might actually be a compelling piece of written work.

 

[Piggle Rick]

There was some recentish pictures of Kyle on da forums a couple of years back. He wears a neckbeardy flatcap and isn't exactly a turbo chad, but he looks much more human than Pat which isn't saying much. He's also not FAT AS FUCK. As far as i know, he's happily married and has a job, he also stays out of Pat's life for the most part.

Pat gets really, really assmad if you bring up Kyle being more successful/better than him. He will drop the "enjoy prison, stalker" responses and go off on a long tirade about why Kyle isn't in fact better than him, stupid little baby child.

Isn't Kyle the younger brother? i'm sure Pat used to always refer to Kyle as his "little brother" in some sort of weird power play.

Kyle IS apparently a year younger, but Piggy gets really assmad when anyone suggests that he himself, the great Rick, is the “little brother”. He definitely finds the whole “child” thing very triggering.

 

[AN/ALR56]

laptop (with touchpad), mouse, giant beer, pig slop, nasty hat sweaty-side-down, and whichever one of his shitty books he's converting into a screenplay that month

That looks like a first generation Microsoft surface laptop, it has a very high quality keyboard made with Alcantara fabric (same shit Ferraris use to not make the interior become like a mirror inside and you go using Ray-Bans into your 90s like Enzo Ferrari), however it is a fabric, Rick forgets fabric isn't good with beer stains and oils from a fucking bar snack, that's why a 2019 laptop already looks like a bathroom rug from a methhouse in just a few months of use.

Another thing is that a badge of true and honest pseudo conservative and pseudo intelectual twitter pundit, a MacBook Pro isn't expensive, 1500$ for the cheapest model, the new ones last for up to 10-15 hours without needing a plug, the fact that fatrick had money to get a galaxy fold (2 or 3) but now has suddenly decided to keep a inferior Microsoft product for years now is pretty telling, I think after the lawsuit was lost, he had to quit buying expensive gadgets.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Kyle IS apparently a year younger, but Piggy gets really assmad when anyone suggests that he himself, the great Rick, is the “little brother”. He definitely finds the whole “child” thing very triggering.

Even if Pat was the little brother he wouldn't be.

Because he is fat.

 

[Broadside]

You've had it explained to you more than once. If you are pasting an image in to the reply, backspace to delete the displayed image and then insert the thumbnail version.

But I'm dumb dumb!

 

[FinnSven]

That looks like a first generation Microsoft surface laptop, it has a very high quality keyboard made with Alcantara fabric (same shit Ferraris use to not make the interior become like a mirror inside and you go using Ray-Bans into your 90s like Enzo Ferrari), however it is a fabric, Rick forgets fabric isn't good with beer stains and oils from a fucking bar snack, that's why a 2019 laptop already looks like a bathroom rug from a methhouse in just a few months of use.

Another thing is that a badge of true and honest pseudo conservative and pseudo intelectual twitter pundit, a MacBook Pro isn't expensive, 1500$ for the cheapest model, the new ones last for up to 10-15 hours without needing a plug, the fact that fatrick had money to get a galaxy fold (2 or 3) but now has suddenly decided to keep a inferior Microsoft product for years now is pretty telling, I think after the lawsuit was lost, he had to quit buying expensive gadgets.

Well, let’s be perfectly Frank here, if writing narratives in bars is somehow necessary, then really all you need is a cheap Chromebook or mid range tablet with a half decent Bluetooth keyboard.

With some effort, if you have to have a Microsoft Windows running laptop, it is possible to find a cost effective model with a semi good battery life. Just make sure it is minimal on graphics and turn the screen as dark as possible, don’t have any background shit running.

Not shitting on Apple or anything, it’s just that a MacBook is massive overkill for the job a 486 laptop could still do today.

Plus the risk of theft and damage in a bar, especially while drinking, would be another negative for a MacBook.

A surface is just him trying to be cool by being “defiant” yet you are just as fucking bad because Microsoft is still a huge company and a “label”.

If he really wanted to be cool and boho, he could literally just use pen and paper, learn journalist shorthand, then type it up at home.

Even if it requires extra steps, I find personally that handwriting to typing when being creative gives one a second thought on the narrative allowing refinements or improvements.

But piggy, probably just shits out everything in one draft and calls it a day.

 

[Piggle Rick]

If he really wanted to be cool

He never will be.

Also, never forget he wrote “THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS” on the back of his shitty laptop that he used to “no child” online.