- Joined
- Mar 13, 2021
*Recieves dumb text about losing Twitter followers*
"This is how you've chosen to end your life, stalker."
Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter
- Thread starter Caverlock
- Start date
"This is how you've chosen to end your life, stalker."
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Someone really needs to do his liver next. That poor organ is screaming in agony every day.*Recieves dumb text about losing Twitter followers*
"This is how you've chosen to end your life, stalker."
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2018
I think his liver was banned.
This pathological need to respond to the most basic of trolling is why I keep coming back. Patrick, I know you'll never change, so please don't SWAT yourself and try to stay out of prison.
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2019
Random but I just saw the trailer for a new TV movie that Aaron Douglas (Battlestar Galactica) is in and he looks like a skinnier, taller, more muscular version of Pat.
It’s even more obvious in the video — spoiler alert, Douglas plays a POS who traffics young black meat in the TV movie.
He’s even had the twiggy arms and fat gut combo going for years (pic from 2010), but again he’s more solidly built than Pat:
It’s even more obvious in the video — spoiler alert, Douglas plays a POS who traffics young black meat in the TV movie.
He’s even had the twiggy arms and fat gut combo going for years (pic from 2010), but again he’s more solidly built than Pat:
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2019
Hell, looking into the specifics more, it just sounds like he heard of the Orion Project immediately thought he was the expert on the subject of nuclear bomb powered space ships and added gay shit past the the propulsion module/shock absorbers.
Briefly looking at @OtherLastTrainHome readview (You poor bastard.) Fatrick's writing comes off like a rough draft submitted as a final draft.
OtherLastTrainHome
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2023
no stalker, you are not my bladder.
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2023
Rate me dumb, but I don’t get it.
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2019
Another shout-out from Elon to a FFWBT?
In case you missed some of the previous times Elon may have laughed at Pat without dignifying his existence:
Fat dingbat and deadbeat mother Jackie Singh (her skin is the color of shit) made sure Pat was aware of that last one and that he didn’t miss the dig:
One of the best parts of this entire saga is how utterly owned Pat is by Elon — and that’s not just a turn of phrase. Pat despises Elon like no one else, and did so even before Elon purchased Pat’s raison d’être and started fucking with it. Yet Pat is so completely addicted to Elon’s toy that he can’t bring himself to abandon it.
Pat literally had an easier time abandoning his only child than he’s having tearing himself away from a social media app. What a pathetic sack of shit.
In case you missed some of the previous times Elon may have laughed at Pat without dignifying his existence:
Fat dingbat and deadbeat mother Jackie Singh (her skin is the color of shit) made sure Pat was aware of that last one and that he didn’t miss the dig:
One of the best parts of this entire saga is how utterly owned Pat is by Elon — and that’s not just a turn of phrase. Pat despises Elon like no one else, and did so even before Elon purchased Pat’s raison d’être and started fucking with it. Yet Pat is so completely addicted to Elon’s toy that he can’t bring himself to abandon it.
Pat literally had an easier time abandoning his only child than he’s having tearing himself away from a social media app. What a pathetic sack of shit.
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2021
Robert Prongãy is truly among our greatest of minds and spirits to be able to bring such wisdom to a cannibalistic pig
DSP's Tax Lawyer
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2021
It will be obvious that its a fake account. Fatrick's liver is already dead
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2022
i don't understand this post
elon and the merritt guy are joking about someone whining about door locks at twitter hq? and because elon used the term "SWAT" in his joke, jackie thinks it is connected to fatrick somehow? what? am i missing something here or is this really all just completely nonsensical?
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2019
Whatever answer upsets you most.
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2021
Retardation
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
What does $1.24 a month add up to in a year?
DSP's Tax Lawyer
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2021
More than Fatrick makes in yearly book sales
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2023
Thanks, and sorry for my slowness.
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2020
Rickian philosophy: What we believe is delusion, we are stupid, we can't help ourselves, and we should enjoy prison.
Rick's philosophy is a narcissistic description of himself.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
Wrong as always, atalker child. He can afford all the luxuries he wants because he sells books. How many books, you ask?
"More."
Can you imagine him giving late night TV interviews about the character he's playing?
"Yeah, like, he's actually really like this. I looked at the script and thought there's no way in hell this is a biography pic, but it totally is."
Ours is a loving family, child. I'm sorry you're too stupid to know that the smell and discharge from Nikki's vagina, a byproduct of her rather unusual hobby, means there there lots of living organisms in there, making his family so much larger than yours. You're going to prison for infinity + 1 years, stalker.
Has anyone done one of those as his enormously fat thumbs? They could Xeet at him to stop fat-fingering his Xeets all the time, otherwise people might conclude he's just a morbidly obese failure and not the highly accomplished author he really is.
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2023
I think pests have done his liver, his fart couch, his backwards fence, his lizard, his neglected cellar door, his judgment debt, his pink blanket, his Hoolies barstool, his toilet, shit at this point I’ve lost count.
OtherLastTrainHome
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2023
oh, The Ark, i can finally quit you. i decided to go all the way as three of these chapters were largely superfluous. chapter 28 had me really struggling to finish this, struggling about as much as patrick when he has to get up off the couch.
instead of an ending summary, i'm concluding with an overall review of the book, which will also feature a summary of these chapters in terms of the story it has told. i've got the sequel, Trident's Forge, and i'm interested enough to read it to see if patrick learned anything
. unfortunately it's also 10 chapters and 40 pages longer lmao oh my God please look at the bottom of this post for why i'm losing it already. there's something else about it that's going to piss me right off too, which is included there.
patrick shouldn't have ever made it this far, though. i really wish we could know what was going on in traditional publishing from 2011-2013 when he was working on it, shopping it, and somehow procuring a famous agent to get it on the shelf. i'm glad more than one person has said it now: The Ark is an extremely rough draft of a story that was never finished but published anyway. alas, we will never know the specifics. patrick must have set Russell Galen up with a lifetime supply of the freshest, best-smoked sausages and pepperonis of his entire life to secure his services.
i'm also thinking that, since it will invariably get longer, i should create a specific thread in Art & Literature and start merging all these readview posts into it and link to posts in that thread from now on. i have a feeling i'm pushing my luck with this one especially.
either way, The Ark has sailed, and that's a good thing.
Chapter 1 | Tor Link | Page 2014
Chapter 2 & 3 | Tor Link | Page 2018
Chapter 4 | Tor Link | Page 2033
Chapter 5, 6, 7 | Tor Link | Page 2046
Chapter 8 | Tor Link | Page 2051
Chapter 9-13 | Tor Link | Page 2079
Chapter 14 | Tor Link | Page 2110
Chapter 15-17 | Tor Link | Page 2120
Chapter 18 | Tor Link | Page 2124
Chapter 19-22 | Tor Link | Page 2147
Chapter 23-25 | Tor Link | Page 2222
--E3: Armed and Dangerous though he may now be, Benson still isn't Solid Snake. The whole "lying in a pool of ketchup" trick won't work when your brain can be monitored. Most of the chapter so far is Benson figuring out an escape plan, and wouldn't you know it, but he can fashion himself a tinfoil hat to block his *Plant's* signals too! After eating, he works himself into an anxious state to fool his captors into thinking he's having a health crisis.
Benson's guards fall for the plan and are ambushed and promptly subdued. Benson gains the upper hand and forces Hernandez to taser the others before trying to bash his fucking brains out with the butt of the gun. Doesn't work, twice, but I green'd all this because I enjoy the brutality.
If you don't have time to reflect on the absurdity of what happened, simply don't, Patrick. The door sliding shut probably would have happened much sooner so I think this is a pretty standard plot hole and subsequent convenience for the narrative. Benson impersonates Alex Jones and also lets us know that the effect of Stun-Sticks only last about 30 seconds which is a bit crazy to me.
Reminder that the stun-sticks inflict "Grand mal seizures" on the target through their *Plant* device. Grand mal seizures do last about 20-30 seconds, but it's not the seizure itself that's the problem. It's what comes after that's really horrible, and this kind of seizure is especially violent - convulsions, muscle contractions, thrashing - which means you're gonna be incapacitated for a good long goddamn while if you even wake up and don't concuss yourself in your downed state.
Also, I'm in love with the convenience here. Benson knows all the blind spots in the surveillance network because plenty of the cameras are malfunctioning or in complete disrepair, and nobody has ever bothered to fix them. Wow.
--E4: For reasons currently unknown to us, Benson is heading to Laraby's apartment, where my boy Pavel Korolev is on duty. Not only does Korolev side with Benson, but he also surreptitiously stepped in front of a camera to hide Benson from surveillance. I only highlighted something in red here because there are two obvious descriptions of Korolev lowering his guard, meaning him lowering his stun-stick is an erroneous repeat.
Korolev's situational awareness and practicality is refreshing. He's the inverse of some characters in this book, where he comes across as unusually inexperienced at the start but is now one of the most competent players, whereas several people had some consistency in behavior and were then later mischaracterized.
I almost highlighted all this in yellow for meandering but Patrick's got me hooked with the mention of *Atlantis* so I'm giving him a chance to entertain me. Benson's back where he first began the murder investigation, where the Monet owned by Laraby used to hang on the wall, collecting his thoughts. A familiar voice calls out...
Either I'm developing Stockholm Syndrome or Patrick experienced a rare bit of lucidity when writing this chapter, because I'm still invested. The last time Theresa was active in the story, she was inconsistent with appearances previous to that... but this dialogue and this moment feel a tad immersive, despite the dissonant context.
Theresa is all dour and glower, interrogating Benson about what's happened in the last few minutes. I don't dislike it but I'm not connected to these characters, especially not her. We get to the point, eventually, with Benson wanting some answers...
The scene's integrity is on shaky ground now with Theresa's sass, but Benson tells us all why he came here: he had a hunch that Mei would be here as long as she was still under Korolev's protection, and he turned out to be right. Bryan simply asks Mei where he can find Kimura, and what his plans are.
And Patrick - fuck off. A minor isn't a "young woman".
--E5: Mei is giving us more insight into how Kimura and his cult of assholes think. We can tell by her answers that she and the others were manipulated by Kimura into believing they were "Chosen" by God to restore humanity - all forty-seven of them, including her own unborn child, and excluding the rest of humanity. While the responses from Korolev and Theresa are salient and on-point, this is starting to feel like meandering again. You be the judge.
Benson then, out of nowhere, asks Mei if she thinks he is a cheater, referring to his own past, and uses the opportunity to give her a harsh lesson in life. It's not bad but this coming from Benson is odd, to say the least. I'm letting it slide because we're still pretty stable in this scene without anything unduly retarded breaking the flow apart. At least, in my opinion.
Mei has time to stew over what Benson's words while the three pow-wow around the dinner table to discuss Kimura, his actions, and what's been going on. Benson deduces that Kimura had the reactors sabotaged and the entire grid shut down so that his people could steal the explosives they intended to use to destroy the residential modules.
Now, I'm not immediately calling this retarded because I'm waiting to see what Patrick does with this. Let's say that Kimura believes he's chosen by God and wants the ship intact, that he wants to kill off the rest of humanity and settle Tau Ceti G alone with his flock of assholes - he won't destroy the Command module for obvious reasons, but why destroy the residential modules? I'm of the opinion that doing so would fuck up the whole ship to the point of deceleration and landing becoming impossible, but ok, if that's not the case, his plan can still work, and he won't destroy *all* of humanity, perhaps, at least not right away, because he needs to get down to the planet as well, and being 'off the grid' with no *Plant* makes them all but immune to retaliation from the extremely soft and undisciplined crew of the Ark.
However, we still have no motive for Laraby's death and how Tau Ceti G - and *Atlantis* - factor into his death.
The gaggle of goofs continue rubbing their brain cells, with Benson concluding that Kimura is going to act tonight. First, the red highlight about engineering patching a hole - I suppose this is the handwave for Shangri-La's hull breach, which is bullshit on so many levels.
Nevermind. Korolev insists that Avalon is locked down tight but Benson is very much not convinced due to his own relatively easy escape. The constables are just too stupid to handle anything serious. Rather than use mining explosives again, everyone realizes that if Kimura wants to make another hole and finish the job, he's going to need a nuke... and it just so happens that the Ark uses nukes (propellant bombs, huh?) for propulsion, and they totally don't have the same yield as the kind made back on Earth.
Theresa isn't buying it, and now the chapter crumbles. I presume the Bomb Shelter where the nukes are stored is in Engineering, which she is now saying has had a security contingent guarding the only access point into it since the reactor sabotage. You know, only now, and never "at all fucking times".
Mei then chimes in to say there's a way to circumvent this lock, and the mood grows darker still...
Before the conversation goes any further, Hernandez and Benson's guards have overcome their stun-sticking and are wanting in, presumably to pressure Korolev and Theresa for Benson's whereabouts. Benson gives Theresa a 'deep, penetrating kiss' and gets ready to bail. Watch in suspense, as Detective Bryan Benson heads to the Bomb Shelter to confront his nemesis David Kimura. Nothing can stop our hero, nothing!
Before he leaves, Benson asks Mei to take him to Kimura, to show him the secret way into Engineering, something she says he won't like.
--E6: Mei and Benson are somewhere else now, and she's having Benson equip an old-ass jury-rigged spacesuit held together by duct-tape.
I am not enjoying Mei's increased activity in this book because her stunted caveman dialogue is grating as well as plainly racist, which in and of itself doesn't bother me. It bothers me that Patrick did this intentionally and tries to pass himself off as an "ally" to these kinds of people. The Japanese characters can't speak for shit in this story, are literal bottom feeders, and the Chinese characters are eloquent and elevated in comparison. Jesus.
Due to a failure to explain what they're doing, I can only surmise that Benson and Mei are going to engage in a spacewalk on the exterior of the Ark, which he helpfully informs us is how the Unbound were getting around the Ark undetected. No comment.
Does anyone need more convincing that Mei, a minor, is inarguably being sexualized here? Let's see, "her usual feline grace lost inside the cumbersome suit". You know how that reads? Since we're always following Benson, that reads as though it were his thoughts about Mei, meaning she's being sexualized. Patrick, seek help.
A bit of meandering, and then, through the following events, I now know why Patrick felt the need to abruptly introduce nightmares into Benson's life: he was concerned we forgot about him almost dying way earlier in the story and wanted to be very, very sure, in the worst possible way, that we the reader would know how much the infinite vacuum of space terrifies our protagonist.
His worldbuilding isn't good, so I have a lot of trouble visualizing the movements of our characters. They're not mag-footing to a catwalk, but they're still out walking along the hull...? They're not floating, are they? Look, I'm just gonna skim past all this, and struggle against my autism to question what the fucking "hub" is. It's not even capitalized, which is extremely out of character for Patrick, famous appreciator of proper nouns.
Also, the red highlight at the end of the second picture... exposition like this is crummy as all get-out. When did Mei tell him this? And why? Why is this relevant?
--E7: This spacewalk or whatever it is, is an effective somnolent. Patrick could have been using this time to hype up the final, fateful encounter with the antagonist, get us thinking about all the answers that await us, and if he were a better storyteller, have us actually care about the fate of the Ark, which appears to be indestructible going by how many times it's been sabotaged and how much of its inner workings are FUBAR. Now, this one's just my opinion: I think we're focusing way, way too much on the perfunctory activities. Benson's trauma should have been used like a spice, to occasionally and effectively flavor the aforementioned build-up and suspsense.
Meandering is on-point for a spacewalk, I'll admit, but man this is rough. Worse than forcing your legs through knee-deep puddles of mud; it's extremely hard to stay focused on moments like this. I damned some exposition here for being more handwaving by Patrick to assure us, 'just trust me, bro', that the Ark is ok and what happened isn't important. Not nearly as important Benson crawling around the fucking Ark's exterior, that's for sure. What even is "the plan" that was activated? First I'm reading about it. Christ.
A whole lot of words to tell us that Benson was not, in fact, betrayed by the overly sexualized pregnant teenager who has been helping him all this time, and has made it to the Bomb Shelter to confront David Kimura.
FINALLY.
--E8: The penultimate chapter of Patrick's magnum opus hits us with another irrelevant and stupid quip: why would Benson have had access to the schematics of the Bomb Shelter? Why would the Ark's Command let anyone have such a thing, nevermind give them a fucking tour of the place? This nuke storage should be the most guarded and locked-down fucking place on the ship, *Plants* be damned.
Once again, Patrick refers to Mei, a pregnant minor and victim of child abuse, as a *young woman* and it pisses me off again. And since when were these two on hugging terms?
And-And, for fuck's sake... what does this mean: "completely unaware of the drama playing out that would decide the fate of her unborn child's life"? Sounds to me like she's well-fucking-aware of what's going on here.
At least Chekhov's Gun is back in hand.
Alright, stop, hold up, Patrick. Five seconds ago:
***Benson didn’t even know where to start. He’d never studied the schematics of the Bomb Shelter in any detail and had no idea where he was or where he should go.***
Now,
***Benson had a basic understanding of the Bomb Shelter’s layout.***
Fucking Hell, mate. Pick one and stop sweating grease all over the nukes.
There's some hoohaa about the nukes and the function of the room, in complete defiance of what Benson was stated to be aware of - and I'm not really sure very many people should know any of this shit to begin with, especially Benson. How can the intrigue and impact of a brand-new area being explored be so WASTED? Benson's giving us encyclopedic dumps again about this room instead of letting our lizard brains (that is also not hyphenated, Patrick) do the work. Now is really not the time for Benson to be having oxygen-deprived terrors. What is he, six?
And, here's at least something interesting I can think to ask: wouldn't it be bad for any kind of ordnance to be kept in a high-temperature area like this? High ambient temperatures are bad for lots of things, for lots of reason. Take small-arms ammunition, handgun bullets for example. Propellant will change or break down over time. The cartridge can expand and contract repeatedly. The primer chemistry could change or even break down. All of these are Bad Things you do not want happening to your bullets. The air in this bomb shelter is described as stale - the breath from a dying man's throat - so what about humidity?
To the folks much smarter than I, please do chime in about that one. I'm a public school kid, you see.
After moving deeper into nuke storage, Benson finally encounters David Kimura and two of his most loyal thugs. Benson does a very sensible thing and discards his tinfoil hat, establishing a *Plant* link that the Ark's Command can pick up on. Whatever happens, at least people know about this, and can try to stop it if Benson doesn't.
Feng screams in Benson's mind-ear about a mass panic but fuck him.
Kimura and Benson get into it, then Kimura applauds Benson for trying to sway his goons. They're already prepared to die for Kimura, and their goal - whatever their goal actually is. Benson is then attacked by the toughs, and Patrick can't help slip in more *Zero Finals* references by using "push off".
--E9: Benson and the goons duel in low-grav, until our hero gets the opportunity to crack off one shot that disables one of the bloodthirsty vagrants to Kimura's shock, and presumably to the shock of every living soul aboard the Ark who have just heard the first gunshot fired by a human being in over 200 years. It would be a cool moment but... you know.
Kimura reasserts himself, smugly reminding Benson that he's brought a gun to a nuke fight.
I highlight the first part in green, but only for Devorah, and not for Benson. I enjoyed Kimura being shot, but I'm unconvinced that his space suit should have protected him. I guarantee Patrick didn't consider the kinetic trauma, either. To be honest, I was expecting a fight with The Fury but in the Patrickverse. Would've been sick.
Benson, realizing that the bullets do nothing, tries for a more diplomatic approach, pleading with Kimura to stop, to not end everything. 'It's sad, really' is some Californian-tier dialogue that I dislike on principle, and I don't like finding out Earth's final population (10 billion) in such a pivotal moment.
David Kimura rebukes Benson, telling our protagonist that he's been working to preserve a lie upheld by his superiors. Whatever he's about to say has the Ark's Command spooked, and they terminate Benson's livestream to keep the Ark's population in the dark. I'm engaged now. Hit us with it, Patrick. What's the big reveal?
(And you don't deserve to use 'rage, rage against the dying of the light'.)
David Kimura begins his heretical, taboo explanation by claiming that the black hole, Nibiru, was not an accident. He firmly believes it was in fact sent by God to destroy humanity, because it changed course *TWICE* to hit Earth.
Kimura holds to his position, and reveals to Benson that Nibiru's course changes were known even before the Ark launched. I feel like I should go back and check to see if this was told to us before, because I can't shake the feeling this was mentioned already. Nevertheless, Kimura says that because it wasn't natural, it was in fact a weapon used to wipe out humanity. For what purpose, he isn't telling. At least, not yet.
Also, Patrick hit space and detached one of his quotation marks from the dialogue, as you can see.
Cryptically, before setting off the nuke and that would presumably destroy the Ark, Kimura says that he isn't destroying an entire race... but saving one. With that, he hits the big red button and consciousness fades.
--E10: Benson's alive, barely. The nuke that Kimura appropriated and decided to set off turned out to be a dud (Waaaaaoww!), but Benson's in bad shape. The Ark is fine, because of course it is. Before he succumbs to the anesthesia, he tells Dr. Russell to get his girlfriend to get him the datapad with Laraby's files on it.
I'm impressed with how quickly opinions change on The Ark. Benson used to be a local hero, the plebeian who made it to the top, a star player for the only sport left to humanity. Then they hated him and blamed him for the Chinatown detonation. Now they love him again. Only two days and he's starting to feel better, which is impressive. I disdain the innuendo and *Zero Finals* references, naturally.
However, I like hearing about Korolev and his exploits and I'm glad there's at least one real man in this story who survived. Maybe he'll get to be a more important character in Book 2? In all seriousness, I'd be much more excited to read it if Benson fucks off and we get Korolev in a leading role.
I'm skimming over the pillow talk between Theresa and Benson because it's unearned, honestly; I'm not really rooting for them. I don't think the content itself is bad, though.
Before Theresa leaves, Benson tells her to send the Captain down in about fifteen minutes, and to stick around herself. Some innuendo later, Chao Feng waltzes in and I'm not real happy we have to get buddy-buddy with this guy after everything that's happened. Water under the bridge, as they say, but damn he's been a rat bastard.
Feng and Benson start off small, gradually making amends as they get into what's happened after everything's said and done. Feng's son is alive, and his wife has presumably been commemorated.
Benson's survival was not as convenient as initially believed - it was more! One of his shots struck the casing of the nuclear device and caused the right amount of deformation to prevent a full-on nuclear implosion. In other words, Benson *accidentally* saved the entire human race. Devorah got her gun back, pleased as can be, and introduces some enjoyable snark via hearsay and that's good enough for me.
The ship, as mentioned before, is fine - surprisingly fine, too! Awwwwwssuuum!
Benson inquires about the fate of Mei and the rest of Kimura's vagrants: Mei herself will be fine, but the rest are gonna be a real handful, having no *Plant* records to comb through. It's going to have to wait until after the landing on Tau Ceti G. Benson then asks for amnesty for Theresa and Korolev, though I think this is unnecessary dialogue at this point. Benson will also be fully reinstated as chief constable when he's hale and hearty.
To which Benson says may be very soon. Feng is intrigued - Benson asks if his next visitor is outside, and Feng believes so. Benson sits up and asks Feng to send *her* in, and before Feng leaves, tells him that Edmond Laraby was the real hero. Laraby figured it all out, and Benson says he was able to pick up where he left off.
Alright, that's good. I like what I'm reading, that's build-up and hype I can appreciate!
An appreciative Feng nods, heads out, and in comes...
--E11: None other than Avelina Pereira da Silva enters the room, and I am extremly, EXTREMELY fucking vindicated. We should all know what's coming next. But first, a problem: how the fuck old is she? Silver hair? What?? I recall her being described by Patrick, in his own words, as smoking hot in her first appearance? Fuck it, don't care, I'm not going back to check.
Benson pointedly says to her that they have a conversation to finish - about Edmond Laraby. Bryan continues, revealing to Avelina that he had the only surviving copies of Laraby's work and personal files. Presumably, he's finished studying them in a previous break. Avelina is further disarmed when Benson explains how happy Laraby was to work under her, saw her as a mother figure even.
Avelina's disposition inexorably changes at the mention of *Atlantis* again. Benson goes on to talk about what Kimura said to him in his final moments, something about *saving a race*. Benson elucidates on *Atlantis*, the home of an advanced race that disappeared in mythology. Avelina offers him some water, and as she does...
Benson remarks something about it tastes *off.*
**That it might just be laced with Pufferfish Poison.**
The jig is fucking up, and I was right: **Avelina was the conspirator at the top of the Ark, responsible for the murder of Edmond Laraby.** Feels good, man. Now let's get that fucking motive.
--E12: Avelina comes clean once Benson deconstructs her entire scheme. Quite concisely, too. So why...
Why did Avelina murder Edmond Laraby?
Her answer is that he said no - Laraby said no to saving *Atlantis*. What's Atlantis? Kimura already told Benson: **there's already a sentient species living on Tau Ceti G, and humanity's about to colonize their world.**
All of the Ark's seniormost Command staff knew that Tau Ceti G was home to a sentient race they dubbed Atlanteans, and they've kept everyone in the dark about it for hundreds of years. They're a tribalistic species that are even making primitive offerings to one of the rovers. Avelina and David Kimura conspired to protect the vulnerable Atlanteans from humanity by committing to the annihilation of humanity - genocide, to prevent genocide.
Avelina rambles on, decrying humanity as a series of extinctions that killed their home of Earth and brought God's wrath upon them in the form of Nibiru.
Sigh. Patrick's left-wing beliefs bled through at the very last minute as he cites the eradication (I'm sure they were in his worldview) of Native Americans and Australian Aborigines. I'm not nearly cogent enough to bitch this one out. Not only is this sentiment ridiculous and out of touch, it's also extremely fucking ignorant.
I'll instead make a parting shot through the subject of Native Americans.
Native Americans spent all their time butchering each other, committing atrocities that would be unthinkable and traumatic to most humans nowadays. Ever heard of the Anasazi? They were the most advanced Native Americans on the continent - and Native Americans exterminated them. The Anasazi were subjected to a centuries-long campaign of terrorism that included cannibalism and tearing them limb from limb. Their bones show signs of incomprehensible torture. This comes from Inga Clendinnen, in Aztecs: An Interpretation.
Inga Clendinnen describes what North American Indian tribes did to Native Americans they captured. It would make Nazis vomit out all their guts. The Toltecs were the most advanced people in pre-Colombian Mesoamerican culture - they also exterminated their neighbors. You know why the Aztecs were brought down? The Spanish recruited a huge army of bitter natives who yearned to put an end to the savagery and raids of the Aztecs.
But no, condense the motive to genocide humanity down into "colonialism bad" and presume with tremendous illogic that humanity, in this instance extremely weakened, will want to exterminate the natives. Right on, Patrick! Nevermind that reality has a different story to tell, and that is every society makes ridiculous concessions for these natives while they continue to destroy themselves, especially Aborigines. If anything, whatever new government that humanity rallies under will just start sending the Atlanteans money.
Anyway, Avelina is fucking arrested and Benson promises that he'll uphold the law fairly, for humans and the natives.
Alone with the Ark's captain, Benson and Mahama engage in the book's final dialogue.
Mahama confirms that a native population dwells on Tau Ceti G, and that Nibiru was being guided by an external force hostile to humanity. I think this is stupid and there's no answer as to how they confirmed that. She can't confirm that it was hurled by God, though.
Benson asks why she's telling him all this now.
Mahama explains that she and the Ark's higher echelon have decided it is time to come clean following the deaths of 20,000 souls. This secret they've kept, she says, has nearly destroyed everything. She reveals that the conversation with Avelina was streamed freely to every human alive with a *Plant* - so now, everybody is aware of what awaits them at landing. All of Pathfinder's data will be declassified.
Benson asks her about Nibiru, hoping for some insight as to who sent it after them, and there's none to offer.
What's going to happen now?
Mahama concludes that while humanity may have been living very strictly these past generations, they've not been idle. The long years of experimentation have led to countless innovations just waiting to be implemented and launched once humanity rebuilds its industry. She goes so far as to claim that an entire navy of highly-advanced space ships have been prepped - vessels that will make the Ark look downright shitty in comparison (it already is pretty fucking shitty though).
She even says that humanity will spread across the galaxy like wildfire in another 100 years.
But are they ready to go toe-to-toe with whoever sent the black hole at them? Who knows. What about the Atlanteans, then? Whose job is it to enlighten them?
We'll have to find out in the sequel, because we've reached the end of the book.
What follows is the review, and a brief glance at Trident's Forge, for whenever I get around to that.
instead of an ending summary, i'm concluding with an overall review of the book, which will also feature a summary of these chapters in terms of the story it has told. i've got the sequel, Trident's Forge, and i'm interested enough to read it to see if patrick learned anything
. unfortunately it's also 10 chapters and 40 pages longer lmao oh my God please look at the bottom of this post for why i'm losing it already. there's something else about it that's going to piss me right off too, which is included there.patrick shouldn't have ever made it this far, though. i really wish we could know what was going on in traditional publishing from 2011-2013 when he was working on it, shopping it, and somehow procuring a famous agent to get it on the shelf. i'm glad more than one person has said it now: The Ark is an extremely rough draft of a story that was never finished but published anyway. alas, we will never know the specifics. patrick must have set Russell Galen up with a lifetime supply of the freshest, best-smoked sausages and pepperonis of his entire life to secure his services.
i'm also thinking that, since it will invariably get longer, i should create a specific thread in Art & Literature and start merging all these readview posts into it and link to posts in that thread from now on. i have a feeling i'm pushing my luck with this one especially.
either way, The Ark has sailed, and that's a good thing.
Chapter 1 | Tor Link | Page 2014
Chapter 2 & 3 | Tor Link | Page 2018
Chapter 4 | Tor Link | Page 2033
Chapter 5, 6, 7 | Tor Link | Page 2046
Chapter 8 | Tor Link | Page 2051
Chapter 9-13 | Tor Link | Page 2079
Chapter 14 | Tor Link | Page 2110
Chapter 15-17 | Tor Link | Page 2120
Chapter 18 | Tor Link | Page 2124
Chapter 19-22 | Tor Link | Page 2147
Chapter 23-25 | Tor Link | Page 2222
==Characters Introduced in Order of Appearance; Character Status==
Bryan Benson,
A police(?) detective and our leading man, a gigasaurus who loves sports and evading responsibility, possibly taxation too.
Chao Feng,
The First Officer (of what?), and a douchedrinker according to Benson. Inherited stolen artwork from his criminal dad. Had a gay affair with Edmond Laraby that he refused to open up about until forced late in the story. Total piece of shit and worst character in the book.
Lau,
The captain of Patrick's favorite Chinese sports team.
Edmond Laraby,
The missing geneticist whom the plot revolved around, found dead and dumped in space. Also investigated the Dark Continent of Tau Ceti G.
Avelina Pereira da Silva,
Science Director; Head of Environmental Research & Development. Got her full name in Chapter 3. Is probably the mastermind of the conspiracy.
Vasquez,
Not to be confused with Vasquez from Aliens; a player in Patrick's favorite sports game.
Lindqvist,
A sports player not even worthy of description by Patrick. Must be a PCJ caricature.
Theresa Alexopolous,
A lieutenant, and a Duty Officer (of what?), sidekick to the Chad Bryan Benson.
Vikram Bahadur,
Chief Constable of the Chinatown District, on par with Bryan Benson. Definitely is a Sikh. Also definitely fucking dead after getting obliterated in a suicide bombing.
Nibiru,
Not a character, but a black hole on the edge of a solar system. Probably the best character, though, if it's anything like Black Hole Sun.
Devorah Feynman,
Curator of the Museum, wants to preserve humanity's culture by locating and securing authentic works of art. Possibly a facsimile of Patrick's mother.
Constable Pavel Korolev,
Theresa sent him to back-up Benson; a rookie that's greener than grass. A true comrade. Only mature, rational adult in Patrick's story.
Chef Takahashi,
Probably Japanese. Probably a chef.
Magistrate Boswell,
Probably king of the douchedrinkers.
Salvador 'Sal' Kite
Old guy with "war stories"; criminal scum who paid the court a fine and/or served his sentence for participating in a massive art heist.
Old Benny
Criminal scum who has violated the law.
Director Hekekia,
Engineering genius or something. Big Samoan guy who speaks better than Benson.
Dr. Jeanine Russell,
Medbay staffer on the Ark. Dreams about touching Benson's athletic body.
Captain Mahama,
Maybe the Captain of the Ark's crew. Strong old African womanboss.
Sahni,
Another nondescript *Zero Finals* player lol. Still noting her just in case they become relevant.
Madison Atwood,
Bryan Benson's PE Teacher; works as a constable in Chinatown. Didn't make an appearance when Chao Feng was arrested for some reason.
Magistrate Jindal,
A judge that appears to have a perverse desire to do his job properly.
Duty Officer Hernandez,
Another constable belonging to Benson's cadre. Raised concerns about Benson being a nepotist. Asshole traitor.
Celine DiMaggio,
An art thief. Has Alzheimer's in the future where such diseases should have been wiped out.
Lefty, or Huang
A Japanese(?) man living underground and off the radar. Fucking suicide bombed himself.
Mei,
One of the vagrant *Unbound*. Victim of child abuse.
Agong, or David Kimura
Elder of the Japanese vagrants living off the radar on the Ark. Name means 'Grandfather' in Mandarin; was thought to have died of a heart attack after joining the Ark's council. Is actually the Bad Guy in the story, who'd've thunk?
Mao,
Leader of a splinter group of *the Unbound*. The new lead suspect in the murder investigation. *Literally doesn't exist, was a red herring to throw Benson off David Kimura's trail.*
Barta,
An Ensign on the Ark's Crew. Likes getting in people's way. Probably plays SWAT 4 a lot.
Chief Councilman Valmassoi,
Who the fuck knows.
--E1: Benson's chilling at home and good Lord this is boring. Red highlights are made out of spite, because I can't get over the suicide bombing and total destruction of Chinatown being glossed over. Yep, Patrick's handwaved this away. Worse, we're not even getting any speculation on how the Ark is still flying. This has been the most important event in the entire book and Patrick not only failed to lay the groundwork to execute it, he can't even make use of it to begin with. Imagine if he wrote any of Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 or 6.
Thankfully, Devorah Feynman is alive and well. She shows up to visit Benson, and she may just be about to save the book at the 11th hour.
Also why is it 15.00 and 17.00? Why did Patrick forget the colon? Time isn't displayed like that. And "Acting-Chief Swenson"? First of all, you don't hyphenate "Acting Chief", and secondly, "Swenson", lmao. Benson's got an evil twin, named Swenson, rofl. I'm amazed the replacement wasn't named Snyder.
I'm torn. I can't stand Patrick's innuendo but I can't deny that Devorah's snark in this scene makes it work. This part drags but at the same time is more than justified by her personality - she has so much presence that it spills off the page.
The guards shouldn't be blushing, though, and to highlight another multiple-error incidence: "the God of the Old Testament". Patrick forgot to keep his atheism in check when he wrote that part, and he forgot that God and religion have been at least properly referenced earlier in this book. It's very weird for someone to say "the" God, not to mention it's technically incorrect - the implications of this are eye-rolling.
Devorah explains it was Salvador Kite who saved her life at the cost of his own. While everyone was panicking during the hull breach crisis, he got as many people into the Library's airtight vault as he could, but died saving a young woman. It's a moving and effective description, and it works because Devorah and Salvador are the only two people in this story who had conflict and reconciliation, and Salvador himself being somewhat redeemed before his end.
Then, Devorah asks if Benson is culpable in the destruction of Chinatown and the deaths of thousands, which he denies profusely.
--E2: Devorah continues to trust her gut instinct, and sets Benson straight before he starts up a "fucking pity party". If half the cast of this book were like her, it would've been so much more enjoyable to read.
Because Devorah knows that Benson is a bit thick, she presents him an even thicker book on legal matters and unsubtly hints at how it's going to help him clear his name and stop whatever's going on, cryptically adding that by the time he reaches the end of it he'll be ready to get out of here. There's more innuendo here but I can't dislike it because I still can't dislike Devorah.
Before she leaves, there's a little wink and nudge about skipping to the end to peek at the last page. Now I'm in suspense.
Benson tries to read through it, and of course, gloms on to what the cunning Curator had told him just moments ago - peeking at the last page. What's in the box, what's in the box?!
I am extremely happy about this turn of events. Mostly because of Devorah, and partially because Patrick remembered that people get really pissed off if Chekhov's Gun isn't fired. **Hidden in the pages is the handgun she showed him during the tour of the museum.**
Devorah left a note behind, explaining that the gun is loaded, the safety's off, and he only gets seven shots - seven bullets is all she could spare for him to play with.
I'm bitter about the damage to the Ark being of no concern to anyone, but Devorah's sincerity and timeliness is refreshing. I'm not convinced Patrick can't fuck up the conclusion to this story still, but this has been all-around enjoyable.
Bryan Benson,
A police(?) detective and our leading man, a gigasaurus who loves sports and evading responsibility, possibly taxation too.
Chao Feng,
The First Officer (of what?), and a douchedrinker according to Benson. Inherited stolen artwork from his criminal dad. Had a gay affair with Edmond Laraby that he refused to open up about until forced late in the story. Total piece of shit and worst character in the book.
Lau,
The captain of Patrick's favorite Chinese sports team.
Edmond Laraby,
The missing geneticist whom the plot revolved around, found dead and dumped in space. Also investigated the Dark Continent of Tau Ceti G.
Avelina Pereira da Silva,
Science Director; Head of Environmental Research & Development. Got her full name in Chapter 3. Is probably the mastermind of the conspiracy.
Vasquez,
Not to be confused with Vasquez from Aliens; a player in Patrick's favorite sports game.
Lindqvist,
A sports player not even worthy of description by Patrick. Must be a PCJ caricature.
Theresa Alexopolous,
A lieutenant, and a Duty Officer (of what?), sidekick to the Chad Bryan Benson.
Vikram Bahadur,
Chief Constable of the Chinatown District, on par with Bryan Benson. Definitely is a Sikh. Also definitely fucking dead after getting obliterated in a suicide bombing.
Nibiru,
Not a character, but a black hole on the edge of a solar system. Probably the best character, though, if it's anything like Black Hole Sun.
Devorah Feynman,
Curator of the Museum, wants to preserve humanity's culture by locating and securing authentic works of art. Possibly a facsimile of Patrick's mother.
Constable Pavel Korolev,
Theresa sent him to back-up Benson; a rookie that's greener than grass. A true comrade. Only mature, rational adult in Patrick's story.
Chef Takahashi,
Probably Japanese. Probably a chef.
Magistrate Boswell,
Probably king of the douchedrinkers.
Salvador 'Sal' Kite
Old guy with "war stories"; criminal scum who paid the court a fine and/or served his sentence for participating in a massive art heist.
Old Benny
Criminal scum who has violated the law.
Director Hekekia,
Engineering genius or something. Big Samoan guy who speaks better than Benson.
Dr. Jeanine Russell,
Medbay staffer on the Ark. Dreams about touching Benson's athletic body.
Captain Mahama,
Maybe the Captain of the Ark's crew. Strong old African womanboss.
Sahni,
Another nondescript *Zero Finals* player lol. Still noting her just in case they become relevant.
Madison Atwood,
Bryan Benson's PE Teacher; works as a constable in Chinatown. Didn't make an appearance when Chao Feng was arrested for some reason.
Magistrate Jindal,
A judge that appears to have a perverse desire to do his job properly.
Duty Officer Hernandez,
Another constable belonging to Benson's cadre. Raised concerns about Benson being a nepotist. Asshole traitor.
Celine DiMaggio,
An art thief. Has Alzheimer's in the future where such diseases should have been wiped out.
Lefty, or Huang
A Japanese(?) man living underground and off the radar. Fucking suicide bombed himself.
Mei,
One of the vagrant *Unbound*. Victim of child abuse.
Agong, or David Kimura
Elder of the Japanese vagrants living off the radar on the Ark. Name means 'Grandfather' in Mandarin; was thought to have died of a heart attack after joining the Ark's council. Is actually the Bad Guy in the story, who'd've thunk?
Mao,
Leader of a splinter group of *the Unbound*. The new lead suspect in the murder investigation. *Literally doesn't exist, was a red herring to throw Benson off David Kimura's trail.*
Barta,
An Ensign on the Ark's Crew. Likes getting in people's way. Probably plays SWAT 4 a lot.
Chief Councilman Valmassoi,
Who the fuck knows.
--E1: Benson's chilling at home and good Lord this is boring. Red highlights are made out of spite, because I can't get over the suicide bombing and total destruction of Chinatown being glossed over. Yep, Patrick's handwaved this away. Worse, we're not even getting any speculation on how the Ark is still flying. This has been the most important event in the entire book and Patrick not only failed to lay the groundwork to execute it, he can't even make use of it to begin with. Imagine if he wrote any of Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 or 6.
Thankfully, Devorah Feynman is alive and well. She shows up to visit Benson, and she may just be about to save the book at the 11th hour.
Also why is it 15.00 and 17.00? Why did Patrick forget the colon? Time isn't displayed like that. And "Acting-Chief Swenson"? First of all, you don't hyphenate "Acting Chief", and secondly, "Swenson", lmao. Benson's got an evil twin, named Swenson, rofl. I'm amazed the replacement wasn't named Snyder.
I'm torn. I can't stand Patrick's innuendo but I can't deny that Devorah's snark in this scene makes it work. This part drags but at the same time is more than justified by her personality - she has so much presence that it spills off the page.
The guards shouldn't be blushing, though, and to highlight another multiple-error incidence: "the God of the Old Testament". Patrick forgot to keep his atheism in check when he wrote that part, and he forgot that God and religion have been at least properly referenced earlier in this book. It's very weird for someone to say "the" God, not to mention it's technically incorrect - the implications of this are eye-rolling.
Devorah explains it was Salvador Kite who saved her life at the cost of his own. While everyone was panicking during the hull breach crisis, he got as many people into the Library's airtight vault as he could, but died saving a young woman. It's a moving and effective description, and it works because Devorah and Salvador are the only two people in this story who had conflict and reconciliation, and Salvador himself being somewhat redeemed before his end.
Then, Devorah asks if Benson is culpable in the destruction of Chinatown and the deaths of thousands, which he denies profusely.
--E2: Devorah continues to trust her gut instinct, and sets Benson straight before he starts up a "fucking pity party". If half the cast of this book were like her, it would've been so much more enjoyable to read.
Because Devorah knows that Benson is a bit thick, she presents him an even thicker book on legal matters and unsubtly hints at how it's going to help him clear his name and stop whatever's going on, cryptically adding that by the time he reaches the end of it he'll be ready to get out of here. There's more innuendo here but I can't dislike it because I still can't dislike Devorah.
Before she leaves, there's a little wink and nudge about skipping to the end to peek at the last page. Now I'm in suspense.
Benson tries to read through it, and of course, gloms on to what the cunning Curator had told him just moments ago - peeking at the last page. What's in the box, what's in the box?!
I am extremely happy about this turn of events. Mostly because of Devorah, and partially because Patrick remembered that people get really pissed off if Chekhov's Gun isn't fired. **Hidden in the pages is the handgun she showed him during the tour of the museum.**
Devorah left a note behind, explaining that the gun is loaded, the safety's off, and he only gets seven shots - seven bullets is all she could spare for him to play with.
I'm bitter about the damage to the Ark being of no concern to anyone, but Devorah's sincerity and timeliness is refreshing. I'm not convinced Patrick can't fuck up the conclusion to this story still, but this has been all-around enjoyable.
--E3: Armed and Dangerous though he may now be, Benson still isn't Solid Snake. The whole "lying in a pool of ketchup" trick won't work when your brain can be monitored. Most of the chapter so far is Benson figuring out an escape plan, and wouldn't you know it, but he can fashion himself a tinfoil hat to block his *Plant's* signals too! After eating, he works himself into an anxious state to fool his captors into thinking he's having a health crisis.
Benson's guards fall for the plan and are ambushed and promptly subdued. Benson gains the upper hand and forces Hernandez to taser the others before trying to bash his fucking brains out with the butt of the gun. Doesn't work, twice, but I green'd all this because I enjoy the brutality.
If you don't have time to reflect on the absurdity of what happened, simply don't, Patrick. The door sliding shut probably would have happened much sooner so I think this is a pretty standard plot hole and subsequent convenience for the narrative. Benson impersonates Alex Jones and also lets us know that the effect of Stun-Sticks only last about 30 seconds which is a bit crazy to me.
Reminder that the stun-sticks inflict "Grand mal seizures" on the target through their *Plant* device. Grand mal seizures do last about 20-30 seconds, but it's not the seizure itself that's the problem. It's what comes after that's really horrible, and this kind of seizure is especially violent - convulsions, muscle contractions, thrashing - which means you're gonna be incapacitated for a good long goddamn while if you even wake up and don't concuss yourself in your downed state.
Also, I'm in love with the convenience here. Benson knows all the blind spots in the surveillance network because plenty of the cameras are malfunctioning or in complete disrepair, and nobody has ever bothered to fix them. Wow.
--E4: For reasons currently unknown to us, Benson is heading to Laraby's apartment, where my boy Pavel Korolev is on duty. Not only does Korolev side with Benson, but he also surreptitiously stepped in front of a camera to hide Benson from surveillance. I only highlighted something in red here because there are two obvious descriptions of Korolev lowering his guard, meaning him lowering his stun-stick is an erroneous repeat.
Korolev's situational awareness and practicality is refreshing. He's the inverse of some characters in this book, where he comes across as unusually inexperienced at the start but is now one of the most competent players, whereas several people had some consistency in behavior and were then later mischaracterized.
I almost highlighted all this in yellow for meandering but Patrick's got me hooked with the mention of *Atlantis* so I'm giving him a chance to entertain me. Benson's back where he first began the murder investigation, where the Monet owned by Laraby used to hang on the wall, collecting his thoughts. A familiar voice calls out...
Either I'm developing Stockholm Syndrome or Patrick experienced a rare bit of lucidity when writing this chapter, because I'm still invested. The last time Theresa was active in the story, she was inconsistent with appearances previous to that... but this dialogue and this moment feel a tad immersive, despite the dissonant context.
Theresa is all dour and glower, interrogating Benson about what's happened in the last few minutes. I don't dislike it but I'm not connected to these characters, especially not her. We get to the point, eventually, with Benson wanting some answers...
The scene's integrity is on shaky ground now with Theresa's sass, but Benson tells us all why he came here: he had a hunch that Mei would be here as long as she was still under Korolev's protection, and he turned out to be right. Bryan simply asks Mei where he can find Kimura, and what his plans are.
And Patrick - fuck off. A minor isn't a "young woman".
--E5: Mei is giving us more insight into how Kimura and his cult of assholes think. We can tell by her answers that she and the others were manipulated by Kimura into believing they were "Chosen" by God to restore humanity - all forty-seven of them, including her own unborn child, and excluding the rest of humanity. While the responses from Korolev and Theresa are salient and on-point, this is starting to feel like meandering again. You be the judge.
Benson then, out of nowhere, asks Mei if she thinks he is a cheater, referring to his own past, and uses the opportunity to give her a harsh lesson in life. It's not bad but this coming from Benson is odd, to say the least. I'm letting it slide because we're still pretty stable in this scene without anything unduly retarded breaking the flow apart. At least, in my opinion.
Mei has time to stew over what Benson's words while the three pow-wow around the dinner table to discuss Kimura, his actions, and what's been going on. Benson deduces that Kimura had the reactors sabotaged and the entire grid shut down so that his people could steal the explosives they intended to use to destroy the residential modules.
Now, I'm not immediately calling this retarded because I'm waiting to see what Patrick does with this. Let's say that Kimura believes he's chosen by God and wants the ship intact, that he wants to kill off the rest of humanity and settle Tau Ceti G alone with his flock of assholes - he won't destroy the Command module for obvious reasons, but why destroy the residential modules? I'm of the opinion that doing so would fuck up the whole ship to the point of deceleration and landing becoming impossible, but ok, if that's not the case, his plan can still work, and he won't destroy *all* of humanity, perhaps, at least not right away, because he needs to get down to the planet as well, and being 'off the grid' with no *Plant* makes them all but immune to retaliation from the extremely soft and undisciplined crew of the Ark.
However, we still have no motive for Laraby's death and how Tau Ceti G - and *Atlantis* - factor into his death.
The gaggle of goofs continue rubbing their brain cells, with Benson concluding that Kimura is going to act tonight. First, the red highlight about engineering patching a hole - I suppose this is the handwave for Shangri-La's hull breach, which is bullshit on so many levels.
Nevermind. Korolev insists that Avalon is locked down tight but Benson is very much not convinced due to his own relatively easy escape. The constables are just too stupid to handle anything serious. Rather than use mining explosives again, everyone realizes that if Kimura wants to make another hole and finish the job, he's going to need a nuke... and it just so happens that the Ark uses nukes (propellant bombs, huh?) for propulsion, and they totally don't have the same yield as the kind made back on Earth.
Theresa isn't buying it, and now the chapter crumbles. I presume the Bomb Shelter where the nukes are stored is in Engineering, which she is now saying has had a security contingent guarding the only access point into it since the reactor sabotage. You know, only now, and never "at all fucking times".
Mei then chimes in to say there's a way to circumvent this lock, and the mood grows darker still...
Before the conversation goes any further, Hernandez and Benson's guards have overcome their stun-sticking and are wanting in, presumably to pressure Korolev and Theresa for Benson's whereabouts. Benson gives Theresa a 'deep, penetrating kiss' and gets ready to bail. Watch in suspense, as Detective Bryan Benson heads to the Bomb Shelter to confront his nemesis David Kimura. Nothing can stop our hero, nothing!
Before he leaves, Benson asks Mei to take him to Kimura, to show him the secret way into Engineering, something she says he won't like.
--E6: Mei and Benson are somewhere else now, and she's having Benson equip an old-ass jury-rigged spacesuit held together by duct-tape.
I am not enjoying Mei's increased activity in this book because her stunted caveman dialogue is grating as well as plainly racist, which in and of itself doesn't bother me. It bothers me that Patrick did this intentionally and tries to pass himself off as an "ally" to these kinds of people. The Japanese characters can't speak for shit in this story, are literal bottom feeders, and the Chinese characters are eloquent and elevated in comparison. Jesus.
Due to a failure to explain what they're doing, I can only surmise that Benson and Mei are going to engage in a spacewalk on the exterior of the Ark, which he helpfully informs us is how the Unbound were getting around the Ark undetected. No comment.
Does anyone need more convincing that Mei, a minor, is inarguably being sexualized here? Let's see, "her usual feline grace lost inside the cumbersome suit". You know how that reads? Since we're always following Benson, that reads as though it were his thoughts about Mei, meaning she's being sexualized. Patrick, seek help.
A bit of meandering, and then, through the following events, I now know why Patrick felt the need to abruptly introduce nightmares into Benson's life: he was concerned we forgot about him almost dying way earlier in the story and wanted to be very, very sure, in the worst possible way, that we the reader would know how much the infinite vacuum of space terrifies our protagonist.
His worldbuilding isn't good, so I have a lot of trouble visualizing the movements of our characters. They're not mag-footing to a catwalk, but they're still out walking along the hull...? They're not floating, are they? Look, I'm just gonna skim past all this, and struggle against my autism to question what the fucking "hub" is. It's not even capitalized, which is extremely out of character for Patrick, famous appreciator of proper nouns.
Also, the red highlight at the end of the second picture... exposition like this is crummy as all get-out. When did Mei tell him this? And why? Why is this relevant?
--E7: This spacewalk or whatever it is, is an effective somnolent. Patrick could have been using this time to hype up the final, fateful encounter with the antagonist, get us thinking about all the answers that await us, and if he were a better storyteller, have us actually care about the fate of the Ark, which appears to be indestructible going by how many times it's been sabotaged and how much of its inner workings are FUBAR. Now, this one's just my opinion: I think we're focusing way, way too much on the perfunctory activities. Benson's trauma should have been used like a spice, to occasionally and effectively flavor the aforementioned build-up and suspsense.
Meandering is on-point for a spacewalk, I'll admit, but man this is rough. Worse than forcing your legs through knee-deep puddles of mud; it's extremely hard to stay focused on moments like this. I damned some exposition here for being more handwaving by Patrick to assure us, 'just trust me, bro', that the Ark is ok and what happened isn't important. Not nearly as important Benson crawling around the fucking Ark's exterior, that's for sure. What even is "the plan" that was activated? First I'm reading about it. Christ.
A whole lot of words to tell us that Benson was not, in fact, betrayed by the overly sexualized pregnant teenager who has been helping him all this time, and has made it to the Bomb Shelter to confront David Kimura.
FINALLY.
--E8: The penultimate chapter of Patrick's magnum opus hits us with another irrelevant and stupid quip: why would Benson have had access to the schematics of the Bomb Shelter? Why would the Ark's Command let anyone have such a thing, nevermind give them a fucking tour of the place? This nuke storage should be the most guarded and locked-down fucking place on the ship, *Plants* be damned.
Once again, Patrick refers to Mei, a pregnant minor and victim of child abuse, as a *young woman* and it pisses me off again. And since when were these two on hugging terms?
And-And, for fuck's sake... what does this mean: "completely unaware of the drama playing out that would decide the fate of her unborn child's life"? Sounds to me like she's well-fucking-aware of what's going on here.
At least Chekhov's Gun is back in hand.
Alright, stop, hold up, Patrick. Five seconds ago:
***Benson didn’t even know where to start. He’d never studied the schematics of the Bomb Shelter in any detail and had no idea where he was or where he should go.***
Now,
***Benson had a basic understanding of the Bomb Shelter’s layout.***
Fucking Hell, mate. Pick one and stop sweating grease all over the nukes.
There's some hoohaa about the nukes and the function of the room, in complete defiance of what Benson was stated to be aware of - and I'm not really sure very many people should know any of this shit to begin with, especially Benson. How can the intrigue and impact of a brand-new area being explored be so WASTED? Benson's giving us encyclopedic dumps again about this room instead of letting our lizard brains (that is also not hyphenated, Patrick) do the work. Now is really not the time for Benson to be having oxygen-deprived terrors. What is he, six?
And, here's at least something interesting I can think to ask: wouldn't it be bad for any kind of ordnance to be kept in a high-temperature area like this? High ambient temperatures are bad for lots of things, for lots of reason. Take small-arms ammunition, handgun bullets for example. Propellant will change or break down over time. The cartridge can expand and contract repeatedly. The primer chemistry could change or even break down. All of these are Bad Things you do not want happening to your bullets. The air in this bomb shelter is described as stale - the breath from a dying man's throat - so what about humidity?
To the folks much smarter than I, please do chime in about that one. I'm a public school kid, you see.
After moving deeper into nuke storage, Benson finally encounters David Kimura and two of his most loyal thugs. Benson does a very sensible thing and discards his tinfoil hat, establishing a *Plant* link that the Ark's Command can pick up on. Whatever happens, at least people know about this, and can try to stop it if Benson doesn't.
Feng screams in Benson's mind-ear about a mass panic but fuck him.
Kimura and Benson get into it, then Kimura applauds Benson for trying to sway his goons. They're already prepared to die for Kimura, and their goal - whatever their goal actually is. Benson is then attacked by the toughs, and Patrick can't help slip in more *Zero Finals* references by using "push off".
--E9: Benson and the goons duel in low-grav, until our hero gets the opportunity to crack off one shot that disables one of the bloodthirsty vagrants to Kimura's shock, and presumably to the shock of every living soul aboard the Ark who have just heard the first gunshot fired by a human being in over 200 years. It would be a cool moment but... you know.
Kimura reasserts himself, smugly reminding Benson that he's brought a gun to a nuke fight.
I highlight the first part in green, but only for Devorah, and not for Benson. I enjoyed Kimura being shot, but I'm unconvinced that his space suit should have protected him. I guarantee Patrick didn't consider the kinetic trauma, either. To be honest, I was expecting a fight with The Fury but in the Patrickverse. Would've been sick.
Benson, realizing that the bullets do nothing, tries for a more diplomatic approach, pleading with Kimura to stop, to not end everything. 'It's sad, really' is some Californian-tier dialogue that I dislike on principle, and I don't like finding out Earth's final population (10 billion) in such a pivotal moment.
David Kimura rebukes Benson, telling our protagonist that he's been working to preserve a lie upheld by his superiors. Whatever he's about to say has the Ark's Command spooked, and they terminate Benson's livestream to keep the Ark's population in the dark. I'm engaged now. Hit us with it, Patrick. What's the big reveal?
(And you don't deserve to use 'rage, rage against the dying of the light'.)
David Kimura begins his heretical, taboo explanation by claiming that the black hole, Nibiru, was not an accident. He firmly believes it was in fact sent by God to destroy humanity, because it changed course *TWICE* to hit Earth.
Kimura holds to his position, and reveals to Benson that Nibiru's course changes were known even before the Ark launched. I feel like I should go back and check to see if this was told to us before, because I can't shake the feeling this was mentioned already. Nevertheless, Kimura says that because it wasn't natural, it was in fact a weapon used to wipe out humanity. For what purpose, he isn't telling. At least, not yet.
Also, Patrick hit space and detached one of his quotation marks from the dialogue, as you can see.
Cryptically, before setting off the nuke and that would presumably destroy the Ark, Kimura says that he isn't destroying an entire race... but saving one. With that, he hits the big red button and consciousness fades.
--E10: Benson's alive, barely. The nuke that Kimura appropriated and decided to set off turned out to be a dud (Waaaaaoww!), but Benson's in bad shape. The Ark is fine, because of course it is. Before he succumbs to the anesthesia, he tells Dr. Russell to get his girlfriend to get him the datapad with Laraby's files on it.
I'm impressed with how quickly opinions change on The Ark. Benson used to be a local hero, the plebeian who made it to the top, a star player for the only sport left to humanity. Then they hated him and blamed him for the Chinatown detonation. Now they love him again. Only two days and he's starting to feel better, which is impressive. I disdain the innuendo and *Zero Finals* references, naturally.
However, I like hearing about Korolev and his exploits and I'm glad there's at least one real man in this story who survived. Maybe he'll get to be a more important character in Book 2?
In all seriousness, I'd be much more excited to read it if Benson fucks off and we get Korolev in a leading role.I'm skimming over the pillow talk between Theresa and Benson because it's unearned, honestly; I'm not really rooting for them. I don't think the content itself is bad, though.
Before Theresa leaves, Benson tells her to send the Captain down in about fifteen minutes, and to stick around herself. Some innuendo later, Chao Feng waltzes in and I'm not real happy we have to get buddy-buddy with this guy after everything that's happened. Water under the bridge, as they say, but damn he's been a rat bastard.
Feng and Benson start off small, gradually making amends as they get into what's happened after everything's said and done. Feng's son is alive, and his wife has presumably been commemorated.
Benson's survival was not as convenient as initially believed - it was more! One of his shots struck the casing of the nuclear device and caused the right amount of deformation to prevent a full-on nuclear implosion. In other words, Benson *accidentally* saved the entire human race. Devorah got her gun back, pleased as can be, and introduces some enjoyable snark via hearsay and that's good enough for me.
The ship, as mentioned before, is fine - surprisingly fine, too! Awwwwwssuuum!
Benson inquires about the fate of Mei and the rest of Kimura's vagrants: Mei herself will be fine, but the rest are gonna be a real handful, having no *Plant* records to comb through. It's going to have to wait until after the landing on Tau Ceti G. Benson then asks for amnesty for Theresa and Korolev, though I think this is unnecessary dialogue at this point. Benson will also be fully reinstated as chief constable when he's hale and hearty.
To which Benson says may be very soon. Feng is intrigued - Benson asks if his next visitor is outside, and Feng believes so. Benson sits up and asks Feng to send *her* in, and before Feng leaves, tells him that Edmond Laraby was the real hero. Laraby figured it all out, and Benson says he was able to pick up where he left off.
Alright, that's good. I like what I'm reading, that's build-up and hype I can appreciate!
An appreciative Feng nods, heads out, and in comes...
--E11: None other than Avelina Pereira da Silva enters the room, and I am extremly, EXTREMELY fucking vindicated. We should all know what's coming next. But first, a problem: how the fuck old is she? Silver hair? What?? I recall her being described by Patrick, in his own words, as smoking hot in her first appearance? Fuck it, don't care, I'm not going back to check.
Benson pointedly says to her that they have a conversation to finish - about Edmond Laraby. Bryan continues, revealing to Avelina that he had the only surviving copies of Laraby's work and personal files. Presumably, he's finished studying them in a previous break. Avelina is further disarmed when Benson explains how happy Laraby was to work under her, saw her as a mother figure even.
Avelina's disposition inexorably changes at the mention of *Atlantis* again. Benson goes on to talk about what Kimura said to him in his final moments, something about *saving a race*. Benson elucidates on *Atlantis*, the home of an advanced race that disappeared in mythology. Avelina offers him some water, and as she does...
Benson remarks something about it tastes *off.*
**That it might just be laced with Pufferfish Poison.**
The jig is fucking up, and I was right: **Avelina was the conspirator at the top of the Ark, responsible for the murder of Edmond Laraby.** Feels good, man. Now let's get that fucking motive.
--E12: Avelina comes clean once Benson deconstructs her entire scheme. Quite concisely, too. So why...
Why did Avelina murder Edmond Laraby?
Her answer is that he said no - Laraby said no to saving *Atlantis*. What's Atlantis? Kimura already told Benson: **there's already a sentient species living on Tau Ceti G, and humanity's about to colonize their world.**
All of the Ark's seniormost Command staff knew that Tau Ceti G was home to a sentient race they dubbed Atlanteans, and they've kept everyone in the dark about it for hundreds of years. They're a tribalistic species that are even making primitive offerings to one of the rovers. Avelina and David Kimura conspired to protect the vulnerable Atlanteans from humanity by committing to the annihilation of humanity - genocide, to prevent genocide.
Avelina rambles on, decrying humanity as a series of extinctions that killed their home of Earth and brought God's wrath upon them in the form of Nibiru.
Sigh. Patrick's left-wing beliefs bled through at the very last minute as he cites the eradication (I'm sure they were in his worldview) of Native Americans and Australian Aborigines. I'm not nearly cogent enough to bitch this one out. Not only is this sentiment ridiculous and out of touch, it's also extremely fucking ignorant.
I'll instead make a parting shot through the subject of Native Americans.
Native Americans spent all their time butchering each other, committing atrocities that would be unthinkable and traumatic to most humans nowadays. Ever heard of the Anasazi? They were the most advanced Native Americans on the continent - and Native Americans exterminated them. The Anasazi were subjected to a centuries-long campaign of terrorism that included cannibalism and tearing them limb from limb. Their bones show signs of incomprehensible torture. This comes from Inga Clendinnen, in Aztecs: An Interpretation.
Inga Clendinnen describes what North American Indian tribes did to Native Americans they captured. It would make Nazis vomit out all their guts. The Toltecs were the most advanced people in pre-Colombian Mesoamerican culture - they also exterminated their neighbors. You know why the Aztecs were brought down? The Spanish recruited a huge army of bitter natives who yearned to put an end to the savagery and raids of the Aztecs.
But no, condense the motive to genocide humanity down into "colonialism bad" and presume with tremendous illogic that humanity, in this instance extremely weakened, will want to exterminate the natives. Right on, Patrick! Nevermind that reality has a different story to tell, and that is every society makes ridiculous concessions for these natives while they continue to destroy themselves, especially Aborigines. If anything, whatever new government that humanity rallies under will just start sending the Atlanteans money.
Anyway, Avelina is fucking arrested and Benson promises that he'll uphold the law fairly, for humans and the natives.
Alone with the Ark's captain, Benson and Mahama engage in the book's final dialogue.
Mahama confirms that a native population dwells on Tau Ceti G, and that Nibiru was being guided by an external force hostile to humanity. I think this is stupid and there's no answer as to how they confirmed that. She can't confirm that it was hurled by God, though.
Benson asks why she's telling him all this now.
Mahama explains that she and the Ark's higher echelon have decided it is time to come clean following the deaths of 20,000 souls. This secret they've kept, she says, has nearly destroyed everything. She reveals that the conversation with Avelina was streamed freely to every human alive with a *Plant* - so now, everybody is aware of what awaits them at landing. All of Pathfinder's data will be declassified.
Benson asks her about Nibiru, hoping for some insight as to who sent it after them, and there's none to offer.
What's going to happen now?
Mahama concludes that while humanity may have been living very strictly these past generations, they've not been idle. The long years of experimentation have led to countless innovations just waiting to be implemented and launched once humanity rebuilds its industry. She goes so far as to claim that an entire navy of highly-advanced space ships have been prepped - vessels that will make the Ark look downright shitty in comparison (it already is pretty fucking shitty though).
She even says that humanity will spread across the galaxy like wildfire in another 100 years.
But are they ready to go toe-to-toe with whoever sent the black hole at them? Who knows. What about the Atlanteans, then? Whose job is it to enlighten them?
We'll have to find out in the sequel, because we've reached the end of the book.
What follows is the review, and a brief glance at Trident's Forge, for whenever I get around to that.
I didn't post this update the day prior because I was stumped on what to write here.
The Ark is an extremely rough, early draft that bypassed all quality checks, and probably bypassed worthier authors to get published; The Ark is not a good book. It should never have been published, and the manuscript should have been used for kindling. This readview has been a painstaking analysis of every page to prove just that.
It's also been illuminating in many other ways, shining a light on an astonishing dearth of editing and proofreading, and on the bad writing habits of Patrick S. Tomlinson and his inability to grasp fundamental concepts of constructing believable fiction. The worldbuilding is non-existent, and the reader never has any sense of immersion, orientation or belonging - before they've even started reading, they don't have one of these things, how fucked up is that? The technology and sci-fi aspects of the setting (humans grown in vats; perfected genetic modification; implanted Neuralink devices, simply called *Plants* are woven into the brain in the second trimester to track and surveil every single living being) are malleable, nebulous and inconcrete. The reader can never be certain of how anything works because new uses and functions are deployed as the author sees fit. The effects of living in a society with these volatile technologies are also never strongly elaborated on, because the society itself, the remainder of humanity on a 200-year voyage to colonize a distant world after Earth was destroyed, manages to have no bearing on anything.
Patrick S. Tomlinson's love affair with nondescript proper nouns causes mass confusion throughout the entire story, and after finishing the book, some of them, like *The Flip*, don't actually occur within the story. *The Heist* was a past event in the story we're reading, and even its connection to the murder investigation was disappeared with the flip of a switch when it became inconvenient. *Plants* are improbable devices attached to humans as they're bred in tanks, impossible to remove; *Cattle* are the vast majority of surviving humanity, the labor force and viable population; *Floaters* are the Command staff who live above the cattle, named because they dwell mostly in microgravity... like turds floating in a toilet bowl. *Plants* don't even have a technical spec, a schematic or some kind of project name that would establish them more firmly in the setting. The *Cattle* don't even exist - the people we are supposed to care about as we follow the murder investigation solely through Chief Constable and Detective Bryan Benson, who is technically *Cattle* himself.
Every single character in the story is a caricature born from diversity, equity and inclusion long before DEI was firmly established by modern leftists - except for Bryan Benson, the sole white angloid male in the story, and blatantly Patrick's self-insert. Bryan Benson himself is descended from a family that "cheated" their way onto the Ark, which stigmatized his lineage. Bryan himself was a farmer early in life who had a chance meeting with a coach for his favorite *Zero Finals* (another proper noun!) team, and he became champion and star player before he became Chief Constable of Avalon, one of the two residential modules fitted to the Ark. Almost all other positions of power are occupied by non-white characters who are each disgusting, stereotypical caricatures of people whom Patrick thinks would occupy those spaces. Captain Mahama is a "zimbabwean woman", Director Hekekia is "samoan", and yet for all of this, we're led to believe the ancestries and backgrounds of these diverse castings matter when nobody else gives a crap about their own ancestry. It would be believable and sympathetic for there to be a few people on the Ark who get together to explore their roots, their backgrounds from Earth, shared histories and experiences... but there just isn't. Such a concept is only relevant when Patrick wants to highlight non-white characters.
It's relevant that the protagonist's family "cheated" onto the Ark - the on-boarding procedure for this generation ship included many genetic pre-screenings that filtered out undesirables. Anyone with inherited diseases, dispositions prone to violence and destruction, were quietly rejected. For 200 years, humanity's lived in spartan conditions with an absolute minimum of crime thanks to the *Plant* system, which augments the intrigue of a murder mystery.
Summing up Chapters 26-30 here, this is how it goes: Our story starts off two weeks from the landing and colonization of Tau Ceti G with the report of a missing man named Dr. Edmond Laraby, whose disappearance turned out to be a murder. We never find out the motive for his murder until the last second, as Benson (and we, the reader) collide with a myriad of other mysteries, conspiracies and crimes, some of which are connected to Laraby's case and some of which are not. It all culminates with a terrorist plot to genocide humanity to destroy the Ark, and the reveal that Laraby's death was motivated by something greater than simple hatred.
For hundreds of years, those in the upper echelon of the Ark's hierarchy knew that Tau Ceti G was home to a primitive native population. Director of the Biolabs, Avelina Pereira da Silva, conspired with David Kimura, an idealist who clawed his way into a council position prior to the story before faking his death, to protect these natives - the *Atlanteans* - from humanity, specifically citing the conquests of the Native Americans and Australian Aborigines. Dr. Edmond Laraby figured out the truth of Tau Ceti G, that all images sent to the Ark from forward probes were altered to hide the existence of the aliens, and was close to exposing the entire plot, and once he became aware of them, he was given a single choice: help kill humanity to "save" the Atlanteans, or die. The story ends with the conspiracy defeated, the Ark in one piece (despite, you know, the suicide bombing of an entire residential module that wiped out 20,000 people), and humanity poised to land on Tau Ceti G.
All-in-all, it's not a bad concept. At several points throughout the story, there were signs of quality and moments of good writing that immersed me in the sci-fi, but it was to almost none of the characters' credit. When there was finally some action, I wasn't engrossed but I was engaged. The final chapters also had some excellent build-up to the twist, that Laraby's death was more of a canary chirp in the coal mine, and not the primary concern on the titular Ark.
Obviously, that doesn't save the book. Its many pages are a veritable ecosystem of shocking errors that extend all the way to outright failures in formatting. Misspellings, typos, inconsistent character voices, repeated statements, plot holes, and scene transitions that are indistinguishable from magical teleportation. Again, it should never have been published, and money should not be spent on it. It is not a case of "so bad it's good", because Patrick's humor is that of a college frat-boy's. He has a peculiar obsession with making constant sports references, heedless to how often it kills the mood. Poop jokes are his favorite expression of "humor", and the imagery of sports fans vomiting prior to a suicide bombing sure was a real knee-slapper. Early on, there was even a "joke" about a log of fecal matter floating in micrograv that nobody could flush due to how fat it was, and was part of why the Ark's [Technical] Crewmen are "derogatorily" called *Floaters*.
It was morbid curiosity that kept me going. And I got more than I bargained for with the explicit graphic depiction of a pregnant teenage girl seducing Patrick's self-insert main character, despite the character having ample forewarning of what was likely to happen. The constant observations on her sexuality afterward seal the deal for me: this book is an out-of-date emetic. It gives you the feeling of wanting to vomit but all you get are the occasional convulsions and bilious aftertaste in the back of your mouth. An uncomfortable memory that the brain will filter out the next morning.
So, obviously, he can't fuck up the sequel, right?
The Ark is an extremely rough, early draft that bypassed all quality checks, and probably bypassed worthier authors to get published; The Ark is not a good book. It should never have been published, and the manuscript should have been used for kindling. This readview has been a painstaking analysis of every page to prove just that.
It's also been illuminating in many other ways, shining a light on an astonishing dearth of editing and proofreading, and on the bad writing habits of Patrick S. Tomlinson and his inability to grasp fundamental concepts of constructing believable fiction. The worldbuilding is non-existent, and the reader never has any sense of immersion, orientation or belonging - before they've even started reading, they don't have one of these things, how fucked up is that? The technology and sci-fi aspects of the setting (humans grown in vats; perfected genetic modification; implanted Neuralink devices, simply called *Plants* are woven into the brain in the second trimester to track and surveil every single living being) are malleable, nebulous and inconcrete. The reader can never be certain of how anything works because new uses and functions are deployed as the author sees fit. The effects of living in a society with these volatile technologies are also never strongly elaborated on, because the society itself, the remainder of humanity on a 200-year voyage to colonize a distant world after Earth was destroyed, manages to have no bearing on anything.
Patrick S. Tomlinson's love affair with nondescript proper nouns causes mass confusion throughout the entire story, and after finishing the book, some of them, like *The Flip*, don't actually occur within the story. *The Heist* was a past event in the story we're reading, and even its connection to the murder investigation was disappeared with the flip of a switch when it became inconvenient. *Plants* are improbable devices attached to humans as they're bred in tanks, impossible to remove; *Cattle* are the vast majority of surviving humanity, the labor force and viable population; *Floaters* are the Command staff who live above the cattle, named because they dwell mostly in microgravity... like turds floating in a toilet bowl. *Plants* don't even have a technical spec, a schematic or some kind of project name that would establish them more firmly in the setting. The *Cattle* don't even exist - the people we are supposed to care about as we follow the murder investigation solely through Chief Constable and Detective Bryan Benson, who is technically *Cattle* himself.
Every single character in the story is a caricature born from diversity, equity and inclusion long before DEI was firmly established by modern leftists - except for Bryan Benson, the sole white angloid male in the story, and blatantly Patrick's self-insert. Bryan Benson himself is descended from a family that "cheated" their way onto the Ark, which stigmatized his lineage. Bryan himself was a farmer early in life who had a chance meeting with a coach for his favorite *Zero Finals* (another proper noun!) team, and he became champion and star player before he became Chief Constable of Avalon, one of the two residential modules fitted to the Ark. Almost all other positions of power are occupied by non-white characters who are each disgusting, stereotypical caricatures of people whom Patrick thinks would occupy those spaces. Captain Mahama is a "zimbabwean woman", Director Hekekia is "samoan", and yet for all of this, we're led to believe the ancestries and backgrounds of these diverse castings matter when nobody else gives a crap about their own ancestry. It would be believable and sympathetic for there to be a few people on the Ark who get together to explore their roots, their backgrounds from Earth, shared histories and experiences... but there just isn't. Such a concept is only relevant when Patrick wants to highlight non-white characters.
It's relevant that the protagonist's family "cheated" onto the Ark - the on-boarding procedure for this generation ship included many genetic pre-screenings that filtered out undesirables. Anyone with inherited diseases, dispositions prone to violence and destruction, were quietly rejected. For 200 years, humanity's lived in spartan conditions with an absolute minimum of crime thanks to the *Plant* system, which augments the intrigue of a murder mystery.
Summing up Chapters 26-30 here, this is how it goes: Our story starts off two weeks from the landing and colonization of Tau Ceti G with the report of a missing man named Dr. Edmond Laraby, whose disappearance turned out to be a murder. We never find out the motive for his murder until the last second, as Benson (and we, the reader) collide with a myriad of other mysteries, conspiracies and crimes, some of which are connected to Laraby's case and some of which are not. It all culminates with a terrorist plot to genocide humanity to destroy the Ark, and the reveal that Laraby's death was motivated by something greater than simple hatred.
For hundreds of years, those in the upper echelon of the Ark's hierarchy knew that Tau Ceti G was home to a primitive native population. Director of the Biolabs, Avelina Pereira da Silva, conspired with David Kimura, an idealist who clawed his way into a council position prior to the story before faking his death, to protect these natives - the *Atlanteans* - from humanity, specifically citing the conquests of the Native Americans and Australian Aborigines. Dr. Edmond Laraby figured out the truth of Tau Ceti G, that all images sent to the Ark from forward probes were altered to hide the existence of the aliens, and was close to exposing the entire plot, and once he became aware of them, he was given a single choice: help kill humanity to "save" the Atlanteans, or die. The story ends with the conspiracy defeated, the Ark in one piece (despite, you know, the suicide bombing of an entire residential module that wiped out 20,000 people), and humanity poised to land on Tau Ceti G.
All-in-all, it's not a bad concept. At several points throughout the story, there were signs of quality and moments of good writing that immersed me in the sci-fi, but it was to almost none of the characters' credit. When there was finally some action, I wasn't engrossed but I was engaged. The final chapters also had some excellent build-up to the twist, that Laraby's death was more of a canary chirp in the coal mine, and not the primary concern on the titular Ark.
Obviously, that doesn't save the book. Its many pages are a veritable ecosystem of shocking errors that extend all the way to outright failures in formatting. Misspellings, typos, inconsistent character voices, repeated statements, plot holes, and scene transitions that are indistinguishable from magical teleportation. Again, it should never have been published, and money should not be spent on it. It is not a case of "so bad it's good", because Patrick's humor is that of a college frat-boy's. He has a peculiar obsession with making constant sports references, heedless to how often it kills the mood. Poop jokes are his favorite expression of "humor", and the imagery of sports fans vomiting prior to a suicide bombing sure was a real knee-slapper. Early on, there was even a "joke" about a log of fecal matter floating in micrograv that nobody could flush due to how fat it was, and was part of why the Ark's [Technical] Crewmen are "derogatorily" called *Floaters*.
It was morbid curiosity that kept me going. And I got more than I bargained for with the explicit graphic depiction of a pregnant teenage girl seducing Patrick's self-insert main character, despite the character having ample forewarning of what was likely to happen. The constant observations on her sexuality afterward seal the deal for me: this book is an out-of-date emetic. It gives you the feeling of wanting to vomit but all you get are the occasional convulsions and bilious aftertaste in the back of your mouth. An uncomfortable memory that the brain will filter out the next morning.
So, obviously, he can't fuck up the sequel, right?
I only briefly glanced at Trident's Forge in the past when I checked all of Patrick's books to read his Acknowledgment sections, which were such fucking cancer I made a huge post about it, his publishers, and his agent.
I glanced at the first chapter of Trident's Forge and there are some things I want to share. First, there's a map of the setting, or at least part of it, which may or may not rate a jack-point-shit on the scale of helpfulness when I do start reading it. It appears to cover the "Dark Continent" mentioned in The Ark, or the continent the alien natives, called Atlanteans, inhabit.
From the first page of the very first chapter, here's an excerpt. It can't be that bad, right? Patrick, now an established and published author, would have had some resources to draw upon, some people to help write this, right?
Turn your volume all the way up, and amplify it as much as possible, then play this audio.
It's going to get so much worse, oh my fucking God... aliens with nonstandard pronouns. Wish me luck, @ShinyStar
I glanced at the first chapter of Trident's Forge and there are some things I want to share. First, there's a map of the setting, or at least part of it, which may or may not rate a jack-point-shit on the scale of helpfulness when I do start reading it. It appears to cover the "Dark Continent" mentioned in The Ark, or the continent the alien natives, called Atlanteans, inhabit.
From the first page of the very first chapter, here's an excerpt. It can't be that bad, right? Patrick, now an established and published author, would have had some resources to draw upon, some people to help write this, right?
Turn your volume all the way up, and amplify it as much as possible, then play this audio.
It's going to get so much worse, oh my fucking God... aliens with nonstandard pronouns. Wish me luck, @ShinyStar