Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

[Darwin Watterson]

Does he know anything about politics beyond the "Trump Good, Hilary bad" thing?

No, not really. He thinks that he'd have a shot at running for President himself, even though he has no job, lives with his mother, and ends up pissing off pretty much every single person he meets. "I'm not a career politician, so I've got THAT going for me," he says. Problem is, he's not a career anything.

I don't talk to him much through Facebook, but I have had a conversation with him about his imaginary campaign. He generally refuses to talk about his proposed policies, though he DID say that he'd get the constitution temporarily suspended so that he could do whatever he wanted to fight ISIS. Because apparently, being President is the equivalent of playing superhero and saying "my power is to have all the powers."

Oh, and for all the comparisons to Hitler that Trump gets, Jeffrey straight-up wants to introduce a eugenics program. The best part about this is that he'd be deemed "unfit" by his own policies, based on how he described them to me.

As of the past few months, his Facebook newsfeed has consisted mostly of sharing stuff from people like Milo Yiannopoulos, David Duke, and Paul Joseph Watson (even though, ironically, he hates Alex Jones). And about a million different "Trump for President" pages.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Jeffrey straight-up wants to introduce a eugenics program. The best part about this is that he'd be deemed "unfit" by his own policies, based on how he described them to me.

When has that ever stopped idiots who favor eugenics?

 

[Darwin Watterson]

Oh, I totally forgot, he also bought one of those "membership cards" from the Trump campaign. For those who haven't heard of those, this means that he spent $45 on a plastic card with his name on it that he can't use anywhere. He keeps it in his wallet and showed it to me at the birthday party, expecting me to be impressed that he pissed away $45 on a useless piece of plastic.

 

[Mikemikev]

When has that ever stopped idiots who favor eugenics?

You support tards breeding? Figures.

 

[Darwin Watterson]

You support exceptional individuals breeding? Figures.

You should too, seeing as how you wouldn't have been born otherwise.

 

[Mikemikev]

You should too, seeing as how you wouldn't have been born otherwise.

An ironically tarded ad hominem argument, whether it's true or not.

 

[press1forjews]

I have a lot of fun with music "obsessives", especially those that cling onto music scenes/cliques as an identity. It's always fun to tell then you think some band they mildly like is mediocre and watch them go nuclear. I've met people who harbor such a legitimate hatred towards Anthony Fantano because they disagreed with his opinion on an album; going out of their way to bring him up in conversation.

 

[BurningPewter]

I've got a friend here in town I'm starting to find difficult company and thinking of separating from. I don't know where to start. He's about 45 years old..his whole life revolves around sci fi tv and comics. He has a podcast..He has OCD..his OCD makes him suck the life out of his podcast, cause he re-records it over and over until he's speaking the words with slow perfect pronunciation and he edits out anything funny and spontaneous. He has an obsession with how hip and "with it" he is and has huge sulks if someone knows about something which he hasn't heard of. For example he had a strop at the fantasy/sci fi meet we go to because everyone was talking about Brandon Sanderson books and the sitcom Kimmi Schmit and he hadn't heard of either.

He just says strange things like I told him I wanted to skateboard and he said "oh people rollerblade now, you just think skateboarding's hip because you're not hip to modern culture like I am"

He's obsessed with playing guitar but refuses to practise and sulks if anyone shows him what to do because it looks to difficult (even power chords). He keeps manically buying guitars and taking them back for refunds and getting different ones because none of them are perfect enough for him.

And he's..he's always trying to force humor where it isn't there. Like if someone says "sorry everyone I have a hoarse voice today" he shouts "its a horse gonna trample us" and laughs manically..like says weird lines that ..he desperately wants to be funny and get people's attention. He's told me lots of times that the reason he learns guitar and does the podcast is because he needs attention, and he's always angry and bitter and complaining that other people are "in the spotlight"...though he does nothing to deserve fame (won't practise music, won't be nice).

He's obsessed with sitcoms like big bang theory and wants to live with 25 year olds and be funny to recreate the show. He's also obsessed with women that age (and a lot younger) and acts very creepy around them..oh and he's an angry incel.

 

[yasscat]

I've got a friend here in town I'm starting to find difficult company and thinking of separating from. I don't know where to start. He's about 45 years old..his whole life revolves around sci fi tv and comics. He has a podcast..He has OCD..his OCD makes him suck the life out of his podcast, cause he re-records it over and over until he's speaking the words with slow perfect pronunciation and he edits out anything funny and spontaneous. He has an obsession with how hip and "with it" he is and has huge sulks if someone knows about something which he hasn't heard of. For example he had a strop at the fantasy/sci fi meet we go to because everyone was talking about Brandon Sanderson books and the sitcom Kimmi Schmit and he hadn't heard of either.

He just says strange things like I told him I wanted to skateboard and he said "oh people rollerblade now, you just think skateboarding's hip because you're not hip to modern culture like I am"

He's obsessed with playing guitar but refuses to practise and sulks if anyone shows him what to do because it looks to difficult (even power chords). He keeps manically buying guitars and taking them back for refunds and getting different ones because none of them are perfect enough for him.

And he's..he's always trying to force humor where it isn't there. Like if someone says "sorry everyone I have a hoarse voice today" he shouts "its a horse gonna trample us" and laughs manically..like says weird lines that ..he desperately wants to be funny and get people's attention. He's told me lots of times that the reason he learns guitar and does the podcast is because he needs attention, and he's always angry and bitter and complaining that other people are "in the spotlight"...though he does nothing to deserve fame (won't practise music, won't be nice).

He's obsessed with sitcoms like big bang theory and wants to live with 25 year olds and be funny to recreate the show. He's also obsessed with women that age (and a lot younger) and acts very creepy around them..oh and he's an angry incel.

Please tell me you have more info/stories you'd be willing to share.

 

[BurningPewter]

Oh sure. He's also dark skinned and interprets any bad reaction as racism. He gives love letters to any glamorous young woman who talks to him nicely in a store.. He talks always about wanting a GF but doesn't seem to want love.. He just sees it as free sex and someone to bring him snacks while he watches Mr robot.

Ie I said as a joke last week 'I'm hip to cyberspace memes, I know about dancing hamsters and Darth maul fat kid' and he just missed the sarcasm and said 'I'm hip to cyberspace too' and started listing all the memes he knew to the group.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

A friend of mine on Facebook has another Facebook friend who I'm beginning to think might be threadworthy.

She's an ageing hippy woman and shits up Facebook, and Youtube for that matter, with conspiratorial nonsense and woo, i.e. about how a Dr Sebi, herbalist and germ theory denier, was murdered in police custody on the orders of Big Pharma because he cured people of AIDS; chemtrails nonsense; anti-vaxx memes; colloidal silver nonsense; etc.

Anyone who questions her about this gets chimped out at and dogpiled by her asspatters and then blocked. When someone I know pointed out how this Dr Sebi was an obvious fraud who preyed on the desperate and credulous for his own expense, they were accused of being a troll and was told that the way to deal with people who call you out on your bullshit trolls is to give them positive vibes and energy.

She also looks the part and, of course, supports Jeremy Corbyn and thinks that the whole squawk about him lying about not being able to find empty seats on a train is faked footage because he threatened to nationalise Virgin Trains.

Oh, and she has a really almost stereotypically hippy name as well.

I'm tempted to do a thread on her so we can ship her with Tommy Tooter but I don't think there's enough content for that. Yet.

 

[yasscat]

Oh sure. He's also dark skinned and interprets any bad reaction as racism. He gives love letters to any glamorous young woman who talks to him nicely in a store.. He talks always about wanting a GF but doesn't seem to want love.. He just sees it as free sex and someone to bring him snacks while he watches Mr robot.

Ie I said as a joke last week 'I'm hip to cyberspace memes, I know about dancing hamsters and Darth maul fat kid' and he just missed the sarcasm and said 'I'm hip to cyberspace too' and started listing all the memes he knew to the group.

This is amazing. I need to hear moar.

I'm tempted to do a thread on her so we can ship her with Tommy Tooter but I don't think there's enough content for that. Yet.

That hypothetical thread sounds amazing, though.

 

[BurningPewter]

• Sure, here's the thread I made on the social advice place I post on.

I have a friend I've been hanging out with 8 months. I met him at an author meet up and we hit it off with lots in common. He's been relying on me a lot for someone to get out with. He has mental health issues and ocd and is a bit child-like. He's about 45 BTW.

Thing is he can be so childish and whiny, and he makes silly little putdowns all the time. Like I told him my uncle was Canadian, And he started saying, oh he's not, Brits who move there are fake canadians. He keeps sneering at everything anyone says and trying to make little fights out of it.
Thing is he keeps crying about people rejecting him and genuinely doesnt seem able to see how his behaviour is. He just keeps making little smug digs like I was playing guitar and he says,well there's no point you playing that because you're too young to remember rock n roll...I mean they sound silly on their own but he makes too many.
He cries with fear at the thought of losing friends though, and when he sees he's gone too far he goes nuts apologising. He's lost jobs and friends..he told me this himself.
And he has manic days where he's just exhausting babbling and trying to be constantly funny and make manic jokes about everything.

 

[BurningPewter]

Oh and every time an attractive woman has attended a meetup in our nerd group, he sits and watches them with an intense stare from the other side of the cafe while other people chat to her, goes home and finds her on facebook through the friends that bought her, adds her with a creepy message, then sulks about what a bitch she is for not adding him and only talking to the cocky guys that "monopolise her attention".

He asked me round to show him stuff on guitar, and he keeps asking me to explain to him what playing in key means, and getting angry when I try , no matter how simple I make it. I started talking about keys and scales, and he just got angry and said "I'm not into that classical crap".

In the end, I was playing him simple riffs on his keyboard and trying to demonstrate how the key note should sound a sense of completion.

I played him "smoke on the water" and said, "listen to that last note, listen to how it sounds so you know the riff has come to an end"

he just shrugged angrily and said "well I know it's the end of the riff because I've heard the song"

and I said "well listen to how it sounds ending on different notes"

and I played him the riff but switching the last notes for wrong ones,

"dum dum DANG" ...hear how that sounds wrong "dum dum DONG" hear how that sounds awkward and sharp..then played it correct "dum dum - dum" hear that natural end, thats the key note.

And he just stared at me with a stupefied look on his face and then got angry and shouted "Deep Purple wouldn't care about that crap! They don't think about playing in keys and stuff, they just play whatever sounds cool! They're not one of your crappy folk groups!"

And he thinks it's the height of comedy to see a sexy woman walk past when someone is talking to him and then turn around and say "oh yeah..I didn't hear what you were saying because of the tits" even though he is constantly asked not to do this.

he's obsessed with trash talking anyone who has success in an area he likes...and he's intense. He can't ever just sit back and chat in a relaxed way. He's constantly looking in your eyes, saying everything intensely.

Oh and they cut his welfare money because he told them the only job he was prepared to do was "funding his podcast".

 

[yasscat]

Oh and every time an attractive woman has attended a meetup in our nerd group, he sits and watches them with an intense stare from the other side of the cafe while other people chat to her, goes home and finds her on facebook through the friends that bought her, adds her with a creepy message, then sulks about what a bitch she is for not adding him and only talking to the cocky guys that "monopolise her attention".

He asked me round to show him stuff on guitar, and he keeps asking me to explain to him what playing in key means, and getting angry when I try , no matter how simple I make it. I started talking about keys and scales, and he just got angry and said "I'm not into that classical crap".

In the end, I was playing him simple riffs on his keyboard and trying to demonstrate how the key note should sound a sense of completion.

I played him "smoke on the water" and said, "listen to that last note, listen to how it sounds so you know the riff has come to an end"

he just shrugged angrily and said "well I know it's the end of the riff because I've heard the song"

and I said "well listen to how it sounds ending on different notes"

and I played him the riff but switching the last notes for wrong ones,

"dum dum DANG" ...hear how that sounds wrong "dum dum DONG" hear how that sounds awkward and sharp..then played it correct "dum dum - dum" hear that natural end, thats the key note.

And he just stared at me with a stupefied look on his face and then got angry and shouted "Deep Purple wouldn't care about that crap! They don't think about playing in keys and stuff, they just play whatever sounds cool! They're not one of your crappy folk groups!"

And he thinks it's the height of comedy to see a sexy woman walk past when someone is talking to him and then turn around and say "oh yeah..I didn't hear what you were saying because of the tits" even though he is constantly asked not to do this.

he's obsessed with trash talking anyone who has success in an area he likes...and he's intense. He can't ever just sit back and chat in a relaxed way. He's constantly looking in your eyes, saying everything intensely.

Oh and they cut his welfare money because he told them the only job he was prepared to do was "funding his podcast".

It's just...so incredible. I think this exceptional individual just became my favorite lolcow.

 

[BurningPewter]

thanks. Its therapy to get it out I guess. I feel like I owe him because I don't really have many other people here, being shy myself he's the only close friend I really made in the group. And he's done things for me like drive me to ER when I cut my hand in my recycling. And when he's calm and "switched on" he is nice to talk to. It's just when he gets manic. When I first met him at the fantasy writer group he was dressed up nicely like Benedict Sherlock and seemed really wise. But he switches from Benedict Cumberbatch to Charlie Sheen. The 3 things I can't stand are the bitterness, the pervyness and the intensity. The rest of the silliness is ok.

 

[yasscat]

thanks. Its therapy to get it out I guess. I feel like I owe him because I don't really have many other people here, being shy myself he's the only close friend I really made in the group. And he's done things for me like drive me to ER when I cut my hand in my recycling. And when he's calm and "switched on" he is nice to talk to. It's just when he gets manic. When I first met him at the fantasy writer group he was dressed up nicely like Benedict Sherlock and seemed really wise. But he switches from Benedict Cumberbatch to Charlie Sheen. The 3 things I can't stand are the bitterness, the pervyness and the intensity. The rest of the silliness is ok.

My philosophy in life is if you have to either make excuses for someone, or you have to contextualize them ("they're okay when they're x and not y or z") and they're giving you more grief than good...cut 'em loose. You don't owe anyone friendship.

Even though I would miss my new lolcow.

 

[BurningPewter]

thanks. I dunno, he stopped claiming his welfare because they wanted him to come in every day for a job hunting class, and the 2 mile ish trip into town, that I walk regularly to visit him, oh he can't walk it and it costs too much gas for his huge jeep his parents gave him years ago, so he just stopped going and now asks parents for money and lives on savings. And he had a sucky arranged marriage years ago to a mentally ill indian woman who only wanted him to get citizenship. that screwed him up.

and the fucking guitar thing. 3 people, including me, have lent him guitars over the last year, and he hasn't done any practise. He just talks incessantly about how he's gonna be a guitar god and busk the blues, and all the different wood types of the guitars he wants. But he can't even play one note. He just flops his fingers down randomly and looks sad. Also I think he may have inbreeding..i read something about incest in the area he comes from and joint problems.

and he says he smoked weed and drank all his life. Well, I went grocery shopping with him, and he forgot his debit card. Ok, he left all his shopping at the desk to drive home quick and get it. Then when we got home he said he had forgotton what we came home for and were we meeting friends. I just said gently...we were just in tesco, you need to find your card and go back to buy the stuff. He's always confused.

 

[XYZpdq]

And he had a sucky arranged marriage years ago to a mentally ill indian woman who only wanted him to get citizenship. that screwed him up.

I can't say I expected that twist to this story.

 

[BurningPewter]

Ok, for the sake of completion, here are 2 more posts from the past about him. The first is from a message to a friend about his dating ambitions, the second from a music forum when I Was seriously trying to teach him and wanted advice.


He's already been left with nothing by a foreign woman who divorced him after marrying him for a UK passport and left months later.

He is very child like has something like autism but he is offended and won't hear it.

Whenever he is around a woman he becomes babyish and twiddles his fingers together and looks up with big pleading eyes like puss-in-boots, saying things like, I'd really like you to be my girlfriend if its not too much trouble, i would worship you, in a gentle ashamed apologetic voice. He's always apologising for himself.

He's 'a feminist' cause he respects his mother, despite being incredibly pervy, unable to control himself in public, turning to look at every girl and crying and moaning.

He's 45 but wants a woman at least ten years younger. Because he wants kids so he won't have someone cloce to menopause (his words). I think he would make a terrible husband and father. He has an unrealistic view of himself, he used to be pretty and got GFs in his 20s and he is plump now.

(music post)

• 
  I've got a friend who is just getting into learning guitar...he's 45, he's also a bit impulsive and has something like Aspergers. He told me a few months ago that he wanted to know what it meant to talk about the key of a song. Fair enough, I explained to him as best I could about notes and chords in scales, and how the key note "resolves" music and tried to explain how he could hear the ending notes of his favorite riffs and songs for the resolution and the feel of finish/completion. He can't really get it.
  
  He has this idea in his head that keys are some tradition that he has to rebel against..I don't really get it. He was asking me the same question today, and I played him some of his fave riffs like Iron Man and tried to explain again about how all the notes in the riff belong to a particular scale and the end note sounded resolving. And I tried to explain how playing in the blues scale gives a blues feel and the major scale an upbeat feel.
  
  And he got emotional and said "I bet you it doesn't matter though! I bet there's nothing special about the keys they chose! I can play these how I like!" And I said course you can, you asked me to explain that's all.
  
  And he said "And I bet Sabbath were not thinking about keys at all when they wrote that riff, they were just choosing what sounded cool to them, you're making it overcomplicated!"
  
  I just never know what to say to him when he says this stuff. His mind just seems to get twisted up in such confusions I don't even know which part of what he's saying to answer. And it's him that asked me in the first place.