- Joined
- Sep 28, 2022
well, i mean onision wrote one, but it kinda went off the rails when he fist-fought god. maybe ethan will have more restraint?
🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit
- Thread starter PhoBingas
- Start date
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🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2020
"Ethan Ralph" and "restraint" don't belong in the same sentence.
newuser131
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2023
ralph is probably going to be dead soon from his substance abuse. so, an autobiography makes sense to write now.
i am surprised that ralph has not made an effort to create a gofundme, a la coach red pill, to get money, from the imbeciles in his audience, so it published. and like crp, not get it published but use that money on more booze.
i am surprised that ralph has not made an effort to create a gofundme, a la coach red pill, to get money, from the imbeciles in his audience, so it published. and like crp, not get it published but use that money on more booze.
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2014
Not unless it's describing an arrest where he's hogtied
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
I think his remaining paypigs have been wrung totally dry by his daily begathons and endless fraudulent “muh kids legal fund” BS.
The very high risk of embarrassment from his autobiography GFM getting one $50 donation (from Ralph’s sock puppet) and $5 from his “Chief of Staff” is far too high. Making plain absolutely nobody, except KF, are interested in reading some white trash idiot polish his own knob over 60 pages in very poorly written, double spaced, 16 pt font typeface.
The KF hive mind should beat Ralph to the punch and publish the first Gunt biography. The German artist who posts his Gunt adventure art here could provide illustrations. Let Null sell Ralph’s KF biography as a fundraiser. Jarbo the Hutt could drop a new track to hype the release. It would certainly out sell anything Ralph craps out. CWC got a commemorative coin, Ralph gets a graphic novel biography. Seems appropriate for KF first two apex lolcows.
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2019
I gave the AI one of Ralph’s articles and asked it to generate his time in Mexico
I didn't plan on sharing this, but you know how it goes – sometimes you've got to put your own shit out there before others twist it all up. So here's my story, down in Mexico, where the tequila flows like a damn river, and I'm drowning in more than just that liquid poison.
It all started south of the border, in a dusty little town where my demons followed me like shadows in the blazing sun. I was knee-deep in alcohol and Xanax, a cocktail that could knock out an elephant. But the only thing it knocked out was my sense of reality.
Meigh, my trusty horse, had been my only true friend through this mess. She was more loyal than any human, even though she couldn't understand the shitstorm swirling inside my head. We'd ride together through the arid desert, chasing mirages that looked a lot like salvation. But salvation, my friends, was a mythical beast.
One night, fueled by a haze of substances, I lost Meigh. I woke up to an empty stall, her absence echoing like a gunshot in my foggy brain. She'd bolted, leaving me behind with my regrets and self-pity.
I stumbled through those dusty streets, asking anyone who'd listen about my missing horse, my only tether to sanity. People looked at me like I was just another gringo lost in the Mexican wilderness, and maybe I was.
Days turned into weeks as I searched for Meigh, drowning myself even deeper in the bottle to numb the pain. I could barely remember her mane, the way she'd nuzzle my shoulder when the world got too heavy. It was like losing a piece of my soul, or what was left of it.
But you see, that's the thing about addiction. It blinds you to everything except the next fix. Meigh was gone, and I couldn't even remember her last neigh. I was lost in Mexico, a place where the line between reality and illusion blurred like the desert horizon.
So there I was, a grizzled wreck of a man, stumbling through the Mexican wilderness, chasing ghosts and drowning in a sea of alcohol and Xanax. Meigh was lost, and maybe, just maybe, so was I.
It all started south of the border, in a dusty little town where my demons followed me like shadows in the blazing sun. I was knee-deep in alcohol and Xanax, a cocktail that could knock out an elephant. But the only thing it knocked out was my sense of reality.
Meigh, my trusty horse, had been my only true friend through this mess. She was more loyal than any human, even though she couldn't understand the shitstorm swirling inside my head. We'd ride together through the arid desert, chasing mirages that looked a lot like salvation. But salvation, my friends, was a mythical beast.
One night, fueled by a haze of substances, I lost Meigh. I woke up to an empty stall, her absence echoing like a gunshot in my foggy brain. She'd bolted, leaving me behind with my regrets and self-pity.
I stumbled through those dusty streets, asking anyone who'd listen about my missing horse, my only tether to sanity. People looked at me like I was just another gringo lost in the Mexican wilderness, and maybe I was.
Days turned into weeks as I searched for Meigh, drowning myself even deeper in the bottle to numb the pain. I could barely remember her mane, the way she'd nuzzle my shoulder when the world got too heavy. It was like losing a piece of my soul, or what was left of it.
But you see, that's the thing about addiction. It blinds you to everything except the next fix. Meigh was gone, and I couldn't even remember her last neigh. I was lost in Mexico, a place where the line between reality and illusion blurred like the desert horizon.
So there I was, a grizzled wreck of a man, stumbling through the Mexican wilderness, chasing ghosts and drowning in a sea of alcohol and Xanax. Meigh was lost, and maybe, just maybe, so was I.
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2021
I'm going to insist it be written in Comic Sans.
Even if you typed only a single letter per day, you would get a 300 page manuscript out before Ralph even finishes a first draft.
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2019
Gunt is learning the hard way one of the fundamental axioms of buying and selling: You can only run on fumes for so long and always have to be cultivating demand from new markets. No water from a dry well and all that. It’s only Ralph’s complete degeneration and financial reliance on Harry Morris that has helped him survive thus far.
It’s too bad there’s no reality TV production company sniffing around the sektur to do a fly-on-the-wall series about a convicted sex offender, multiple felon and darling of the soyboy right who is torn between killing himself and getting sober. That’s the only thing I can imagine that could expose Ralph to a new market of suckers, some of whom are low IQ enough to send Gunt money. Even serial killers on death row have more fans than Ralph does at this point.
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2014
But can he pay his child support in pesos?
Tiger Jack
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 23, 2020
He's become so broke that he's betting on pesos like they're a cryptocurrency.
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2021
This nigger is so retarded. I don't even need to explain why.
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2023
Seriously? Forex trading with anything less than eight digits is meaningless. You're not going to become rich on currency rates, Kang. Most of us just get jobs. Give it a try. Even truck stop hoofjobs pay.
Rage Pig
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2022
The total lack of self awareness is rather astonishing. His nation is Mexico and he never added anything to the coffers.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
Says the rage pig that doesn’t pay taxes, never paid back student loans, fled to Mexico to avoid his unpaid debts and who’s entire immediate family subsisted on SSI disability (dad, mom and brother all supported by govt coffers, only Sandra paying a dime into the coffers but got x100 more than what she contributed.)
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
Also Xander's birth was paid by Vickers' insurance and Rozy was either paid by Harry or NY Medicaid.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
VA Medicaid had to pay extra since May drove up alone to NY and ended up in early labor and delivered there. I’m sure the days she waited in the hospital for Gunt to show up cost a cool $50k easy.
Rozy is 100% a welfare Medicaid/WIC baby. The only thing Ralph would have had to pay out of pocket was diapers, but even Harry and alogs covered that cost.
The Ronnie Ralph lineage are parasites to the USA. Ralph going to drink himself to death in Mexico has probably saved the US taxpayer a pretty penny. Hell they even had to pay to cremate Sandra. Sad.
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2014
I'm pretty sure he paid sales tax on every bottle of makers he ever drank.
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2014
I dunno, Sandra probably paid for half of those.
JustStopDude
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 7, 2017
Hence why if the US was serious about fixing itself, the poor would be deported.
- Joined
- May 6, 2020
It needs a title.
I tried to create the airport fight, but I couldn't get Bing to get ralph right.
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