If the Farms existed pre-Internet, which historical figures would request personal armies?

[ASeabear8952]

Recent events put this idea in my head. I think Hitler would be an obvious one.

 

[Thirsty Kitty]

Aaron Burr

 

[Shig O'nella]

Richard III would.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Karl Marx would make a thread about what an embarrasing lolcow LaSalle is only to get laughed off the site

 

[Lieutenant Rasczak]

Francisco Solano López would attempt to make multiple PA threads before being banned, getting ass mad that nobody took his PA requests super cereal, and start a war with both of Paraguay's more powerful neighboring countries and Uruguay. The war he starts would result in López and the entire nation of Paraguay getting their own subforum just because of how retarded the situation is.

 

[Stan]

If Kiwi Farms existed pre-Internet it would be one of those weird zines you have to purchase at porn shops.

 

[A-Stump]

Pretty much any sperg involved in the crusades.

 

[Kerry]

Stalin is the second most obvious one.

 

[Londo]

The Jacobite Armies of Scotland and for once KWF would actually decide to join in as it would prevent the UK ever existing.

"Not your personal ar- what? Prevent it from ever existing you say?"

 

[Prophetic Spirit]

Salvatroll Allende.

 

[Insuficiencia renal]

Lots of artist, Francis Bacon, Salvador Dali, Vincent van Gogh, Frida Kahlo...

 

[ABE LINN COHN]

Robespierre

 

[Cumeatsioner Gordon]

Man this thread is cooked.

 

[BMO_]

Russian Nicholas II would probably sperg under a pseudonymous account about finding shitposters who call "the Tsar of Great Russia" a cuck

 

[Open-Source Dodonpachi]

Mao would have hanged himself for "excessive bullying" and realizing people in his country and overseas really disliked him.

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

Ramses II. Hittites lived rent free in his head. He'd have a whiny blog too.

 

[Uncle Buck]

If Kiwi Farms existed pre-Internet it would be one of those weird zines you have to purchase at porn shops.

Fun fact: that's actually how it did start until WWIVnet came along. It first appeared as a bundle with Hack Canada and Phone Losers.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Napoleon did. And he succeeded.

 

[I'm Retarded?]

nobody's said Napoleon yet?

Napoleon did. And he succeeded.

you son of a bitch

 

[Pringles Can]

King George III against the Americans.