The Julays 2023: Pre-Show Discussion - Who should be nominated? How should voting change?

[Hamplanet Fitness]

This year's Julays are coming soon, and now is the time to determine which lolcows have truly risen above the rest of the herd. The lolcows who have had the most features or sagas and get the most nominations, either in this thread or in my inbox, will be nominated for the various awards.

Only nominate based on each cow's performance in 2023.

There will be changes to this year's Julays. Because of the huge volume of votes last year, it took over 2 weeks to count everything and most people had forgotten about the Julays by the time I was done. If there's a way to streamline voting, preferably automated like the site's poll feature but for every subforum award, I'm all ears. I'm thinking of contacting admins to make a thread for each subforum award in its appropriate subforum, but hopefully there's a cleaner way than having a bunch of separate threads. I'll post more on how the voting process will be conducted once I figure it out.

Lolcow of the Year Nominees

Nick Rekieta / Rekieta Law

Dylan James Mulvaney / Days of Girlhood

Ethan Ralph

Austin Curtis Peterson / bossmanjack

Chance J F Wilkins / Cyrax

Patrick Sean Tomlinson / Stealthygeek

Lolcow of the Year nominees are not eligible for other awards.

Subforum Awards

Best Main Forum Lolcow

Alexander Stuart Mahan / YandereDev

Chase Paston / Kase446

Andrew Tate / Top G / CobraTate

Daniel Larson

Queen of the Beauty Parlour

Aella Martin / Rachael Antier Slick

Eliza Bleu / Eliza Ann Morthland

Alia Shelesh / SSSniperwolf

Anisa Jomha

Breaker of Scales

Polissa Campbell

Anna O'Brien / glitterandlazers

Corissa Enneking / fatgirlflow

Chantal Sarault / Chantal al-Refae / Foodie Beauty

Best Animal Control Lolcow

Caden Wayne "Jade" Scholeck / BlueFolf

Graeme Kelly / IrishBrony1988

Carlautta Griffith / Zrcalo

Million Pity

Best Internet Famous and Grift Wars Lolcow (includes Internet Tough Guys)

Clayton Ray Huff / Dream

Jackie Singh / hackingbutlegal

Oliver Lennard / Abigail Thorn / Philosophy Tube

Hasan Piker / hasanabi

Jean-Francois Gariepy / JFG

Best Stinkditch & Rat King Lolcow

Kayden Coleman / Kelila Marie Dennison

Keffals / Lucas Roberts

Orion Grant Passmore / Giggly Goonclown

Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / bl00dyberserker

Anthony "Erin" Reed / ErinInTheMorn

Fresh Meat
Nominees for this category must have had their thread created in 2023.

Jackie Singh / hackingbutlegal

Hannah Pearl Davis / justpearlythingz

Aella Martin / Rachael Antier Slick

Eliza Bleu / Eliza Ann Morthland

Orion Grant Passmore / Giggly Goonclown

Best Put to Pasture Lolcow
Nominees for this category must have passed away in 2023.

Fred L. "Bubba" Copeland / Brittini Blaire Summerlin (Tranny Sideshows on Social Media) Cause of death: 41%

Chelsea Lawrence / TanzChelsea Cause of death: Munchie'd herself to death

Audrey "Aiden" Hale / aidencreates Cause of death: Killed by police

Other Awards

Best Lolcow Media (pic/video)

Best Lolcow Fanwork

If you'd like to nominate someone for an award or suggest Best Lolcow Media or Fanwork nominees, please do!

The Julays will go live December 31.

 

[whatever I feel like]

Clearly this is the year's Best Lolcow Media.

Spoiler: NSFW Goonclowning

https://uploads.kiwifarms.net/data/video/5244/5244476-ca1af357dea97b68a1bd04e7c04b39ab.mp4

 

[Cringestorian X]

Best Internet Famous Lolcow (includes Internet Tough Guys)

diddler dax, pope balldo, and boogie2988

Fresh Meat

@Itsnatsutalbott, any retards from the and Cyrax extended universe (Shane, Jackie, Marty, and White Bowsah), and Hector Martin

Best Lolcow Media (pic/video)

ralph memphis mamba and/or pantsu nude

 

[Fetish Roulette]

I nominate MATI regular Nick Rekeita for the Internet Famous award.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

I think a good category would be Extraordinary Contributions to the Farms. Some people here put in an astounding amount of high quality research and work. I would like to nominate @Sprate Header. eta: and also @GenociderSyo

 

[GenociderSyo]

Queen of the Beauty Parlour
Iiluminaughti

Breaker of Scales
GlitterandLazers

Fresh Meat
Iiluminaughti

Best Put to Pasture Lolcow
Chelsea

Best Lolcow Media (pic/video)
I call this one Lava Lamp of Lies and Failure...

Best Lolcow Fanwork
If AI is allowed @Polyboros2 made this lovely Anna image for kiwitober. (She broke the bathtub in her JUST constructed apartment a few days after moving in due to her weight.)

 

[Relinquish]

I would like to request a new caregory called “The Best OP”

Also Bossmanjack clears all the future nominees. That’s 100% not because I’m the one who wrote an OP on him

 

[Barbarella]

Put to pasture should be Death by Jen. (Life by Jen, aka Jennifer Armstrong).

Chantal (Foodie Beauty) has to be in the Scale Breaker section too, along with Anna (Glitter and Lasers)

Rackets for Internet Famous, or even fastest slide from Fame to Cow. And Boogie, one of the most hateable for a number of years. Ralph is always a shoo-in.

I like the picks for StinkDitch although I wish the entire SRS thread could be involved.

(I totally missed there was a thread on Iiluminaghty, gonna check it out) and I also nominate GenociderSo, with KateFarmsShill as a close competitor.

Fresh meat, definitely BossmanJack.

And you are right on the slowness of the awards, I never did see who won last year!

 

[Dead Wife]

Chantal has to be in the Breaker of Scales category.

Contributions to the forum? Definitely agree with GenociderSyo and Kate Farms Shill, I’d like to add the lovely Tangerine Dream for her delightful reecaps.

 

[OttoWest]

I’d like to add @batteredpancakes for forum contribution as they are THE documentarian of all things SRS/Stinkditches/Poonerwangs.

Just trawling through those Reddit boards are enough to make most men weep.

 

[Vott]

I'd like to nominate Daniel Larson to the main forum one, Known for THE HOTEL TRIED TO KILL ME!

As for the best video recorded of Daniel this year, I'd say where Daniel is thrown out from an ice cream shop and the guy there uses the force on Daniel

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Nominee for both the "Internet Tough Guy" and "Fresh Meat" category: Jackie Singh

- massive Fatrick Tomlinson white knight
- involved in a war with the OnA forum
- constantly picks fights with literally everyone
- constantly threatens people
- constantly faildoxes random people from around the world to be either pests or behind a swatting service
- on the run bc of credit card fraud and tax stuff
- self proclaimed tech security expert who couldn't use the brave browser to find us on tor and thus proclaimed Kiwi Farms is still offline
- very woke but also former Gay Niggers of America member
- serious bullshitter
- also a streetshitter
- is fat and I would not have sex with her

 

[Asian tech support]

For Best Lolcow Media Fanwork, I'd like to nominate @Admiral Throbnelius for his work on the Dr. Spunk comic and other @thegooddoctor related media.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/are-we-becoming-too-arrogant.112053/post-16720392

edit: category

 

[There Is Light At The End]

Echo Rikieta on internet famous and slide from fame to cow

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

Just an idea, but what about a category for best oldfag spergout/PA fail/worst OPsec of the year? A category for people like @WolfeTone, @thegooddoctor, @australian cryptid, and most recently @Itsnatsutalbott. You could call it something like the OrsonZedd Award.

 

[Meat Target]

Patrick Tomlinson for Lolcow of the Year. This year has been a wild ride for Patposting, and saw the rise of the Tomlinson Expanded Waistline.

On that note, seconding Jackie Singh for Internet Tough Guys.

Dylan Mulvaney for Stinkditch, having tanked Bud Light.

 

[Nikes_JustDoIt]

For Stinkditch I nominate Liz fong Jones for the Washtion post article and the LinkedIn post he did. As well .net being back.
Main forum: Jim Sterling mostly having the under 800K subscriber special and continually bleeds subscribers
Fresh Meat: Vito the pedo (it was finally a thread done for that pedo)

 

[Johnny Salami]

Fresh meat is definitely Shane. Especially if he's gone since he's been quite for a while

Nick Rekieta deserves something for having the forum turn 180 on him, and he's realistically the only person that could challenge Patrick

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

Life by Jen for put to pasture.
Rekieta for Internet Famous.
BossmanJack and the Giggly Goonclown for fresh meat. The latter may be hiding but I've never seen a thread so full of creative ways to castrate someone.
Alex Caraballo for StinkDitch for getting his own tweets read in hearings about internet hate speech.
Chantal for breaker of scales, especially if the visa shit turns out to be true and she can't get back into Kuweight.
@Sprate Header and @GenociderSyo for research/thread contribution/whatever that category becomes.

I don't know what the parameters are for media, but Ralphamale's love poetry to his horse bride needs to be recognized.

 

[Pee Cola]

Liz Fong-Jones for Lolcow of the Year.

Linus Sebastian for Best IF Lolcow.

Probably a bit early for Best Lolcow Media. IIRC a couple of last year's nominees happened late in the year ("I suck dick for cock", Ye's apperance on The Alex Jones Show).