Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Mr.Bucket]

Too bad Nick started gargling down humongous cocks on the daily because those streams used to be cozy.

They were my favorite of anything Rekieta did.

 

[AnOminous]

I refuse to believe someone would go from larpy TradCath Christian papa lawyer to libertine coomer Hedonism II multicultural orgies in the matter of a year.

I am angry because I feel tricked. I actually believed his bullshit for some period of time. I never believed he was some kind of saint, but I did think he was at least a decent person and not some disgusting perverted piece of shit.

 

[keke]

I never really believed he was fully a fraud until the age of consent stuff. He did the whole “well some kids are more mature” - the most commonly used line from actual pedos and pedo organisations. He did this yet had multiple streams rightfully losing his mind at the idea of kids being groomed on discord to take HRT. Why, Nick? Why can’t any of those kids mature enough to handle it?

 

[Geared Chris]

Anyone mind explaining how Sean became liked here, or at least mentioned semi-often. I like his streams from what I remember but no one ever brought him up here until recently. Do something based or just appearing on Nicks streams more? I did back read but only saw the recent CGoody stuff

I believe it goes a little deeper than what you've heard here. Disclaimer: This is all 2nd hand information... feel free to fact-check me on my fable. Can a fable be fact-checked? ANYWAY...

The Fable of Lord Nick, Prince Sean & Discordia

Spoiler

There once was a place called Discordia 1.0 ruled by a strange and insecure despot named Lord Nicholas Discordian. It was an odd and unpredictable land yet the citizens lived in dysfunctional Discorded chaos with relative peace.

Their leader would occasionally grace them with his lordly presence but most days they made their own trouble amongst each other yet kept it safely within Discordia's borders.

The Lord let them play and spar.

Plot twist! Inexplicably Lord Discordian nosedove into Balldos, butt pics, LOCALS adoration, and total contempt for his own land! He first ignores Discordia! Then, far FAR worse, he later shames them publically with shocking vitriol in every address to his wider empire for which he believed (falsely) that he had conquered!

Twas a strange time. The Discordians predictably begin to betray their Lord. While several others were verified schitzos and turned on each other, most were simply lost. They limped along but, alas, they were ultimately landless people looking for refuge.

During this time, Discordia citizens were/are rumored to have visited this very land! Yes! Kiwis who farm among us!

Their Lord discovered the subterfuge. "Spies! Enemies!" thought Nick, "Begone!"

Yes, dear readers, Lord Discodian eliminated his small humble country in one fell swoop.

(This narrator would love to make jokes about Romans or the Byzantines or the Brits... but, in fact, Discordia was a tiny and insignificant land were it not for the Lord's larger story.)

Lord Discordian, now known as Lord LOCBLE, addressed his fraying empire. He claimed this loss was due to moderator drama. Many knew this was an empty excuse. Discordians had simply grown to hate him and, tragically, the Lord's skin, like his hair, was thinner by the day.

"Wherever shall we go?" questioned the spurned Discordians.

To Sean's Discord, they go! '

Why-ever would they do that?' you might ask.

Dear reader, the legend is varied. Some say Prince Sean has always been sympathetic to Kiwi in which many Discordians now vacationed so often they owned homes. Some Discordians gossiped that Prince Sean has an account on Kiwi. Others say it mattered little. Prince Sean's Discord was merely free and it was an easy and friendly land to flee to. Open borders for lost souls.

But could it be? A spy in Nick's very own house?

Shhhhh, dear readers. It matters little. It's all hilarious.

And so ends the story of a small subplot into Lord Discordian's descent, and the love for Prince Sean that surrounds us.

 

[Captain Manning]

CGoody has retracted his earlier claim and apologized to Sean. His chin is now ostensibly safe from Sean's mighty judicial ballsack.

Nate has a bunch of these for multiple YT lawyers. It is not a dig. It is only shorts clcikbait.

I'll believe that (I said "could"), but I still think Nate inadvertently highlights how shit Nick looks in 2023. Whether he intended to or not, he basically did what this thread has already done, but in video form set to music.

He's free to do whatever he feels he needs to of course. But I think if this were Nick trying to dunk on TiC no one would be going "slay queen", because trying to own the haters is cowish behavior.

I like Sean too, but that clip had me cringing.

Well, I can't speak for everybody here, but if Nick called out TiC specifically for trying to get Nick cancelled (and not some whiny bullshit), I might say something along the lines of "fair point." I guess it would depend how Nick presented it.

I wanna like TiC, but I believe there are lines. Mockery is one thing. Trying to get his law license pulled and his Locals shut down is gay. That is not the Kiwi way. That's a big reason Null bounced him.

Sean was being lied about by Nick's only Locals moderator in an attempt to drive a wedge between him and Nick's fanbase. I just don't have it in me to give him any shit here. Plus, I personally saw it as more funny than cringe. Far more cringe, to me, was Nick's response. He sounded like a complete idiot.

Plus... I mean... I'm pretty sure what Sean did worked (see above).

Remember he always said he was a Dick Masterson superfan before he made his channel.

Right, but then he also said that he was always shocked he gets along with Dick because he's so unlike Dick. It's not entirely impossible for opposites to attract. For example, Null sorta-kinda gets along with some people you wouldn't usually think he would. Destiny, for one.

Turns out that was smokescreen. He's basically exactly like Dick.

 

[Gorton Colu]

I don't think Balldo changed, he just went mask off.
I refuse to believe someone would go from larpy TradCath Christian papa lawyer to libertine coomer Hedonism II multicultural orgies in the matter of a year.

Also, he's always been a lolbertarian. The signs were there.

I do believe that he believed that he was TradCath back then. It's just the lolbertarianism, e-fame, and and financial resources won out overwhelmingly over his self-concept.

My brother was a staunch libertarian, but very religious and conservative. However in contrast to Nick, when confronted with the realization of such (Hegelian) contradiction between competing value systems, he subsumed the libertarianism to his religious values. I don't say that some or all must or should do this, but clearly Nick should have in his case.

He decided to be a sexual, drug and alcohol fueled debutant in his 40s. Very poor decision.

I think it's so enticing to believe that Nick is and has always been a fraud because the alternative implies that any of us could also fall off the deep end. "There but for the grace of God go I."

I could also just be retarded and Nick is a deceptive asshole.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

assuming he lives long enough to see it come to its conclusion

I think he will. I don't think he's getting better, but I think he's dying significantly slower than he anticipated, and I think he's actively trying to die slower. My evidence for this is how he's quit smoking, is eating healthier, and is installing mobility aids in his home. You don't do that stuff if you're on your death bed.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

I don't think Balldo changed, he just went mask off.
I refuse to believe someone would go from larpy TradCath Christian papa lawyer to libertine coomer Hedonism II multicultural orgies in the matter of a year.

Also, he's always been a lolbertarian. The signs were there.

I'm sure it was mentioned here earlier, but there was an old stream where Drexel was on and Drexel says "you think Nick's not a degenerate, oh man, you should see him off-camera!" I might've listened to that one live (in the background as I always did. I guess everyone thought of it as just another joke, but there's another Drexel clip implying the same thing.

I think we all wanted to believe you could be an internet funny man and still be a happily married man with 5 kids. Sure didn't help that Nick built his brand on his supposedly genuine personality. The signs were there, but we all ignored it until the balldo came out.

 

[Geared Chris]

SATURDAY NIGHT CAMELTHOTS | Rekieta Law, Robyn Hood Director, Bungie Sued and MORE #003​

Nick was on Coomalot's stream with Xia last night starting at Timestamp 2:00:00.​

I WISH there was nothing to report...

Nick's Weird Saturday:

- He was supposed to be on G&G but slept past 4 pm.
- He woke with Kayla in bed with him. She was watching StarTrek because "that's what she does".
- He quickly realized he was an hour late for his appearance.
- Later they were supposed to go to his brother-in-law's (this would be her half-brother, I believe) 30th birthday party but Kayla suddenly (after the G&G stream) said she was "sick".
- Nick went to her brother's party alone.
Timestamp: 2:03:10 - 2:04:45:

I have questions! (I try not to nanny-state these two but this was the oddest story.)
1. Where are the kids? Spoiler: they were in the house. 2. Why is Kayla in bed at 4 pm watching StarTrek? 3. Why did he sleep until 4 pm (his stream wasn't long Fri night)? 4. Are there any adults in this house? Nick and Kayla are not it.

- Later (not in timestamp) he shared that when he got on the G&G stream he was starving so he messaged his kids on FB to bring him snacks. His son delivered him saltines and graham crackers.

How to Avoid Taxes:

- Around 2:46:46 discusses how he knows tax planners for generational wealth families (shocker) to avoid taxes.
"There's a bunch of cool things you can do that involve debt, property ownership, depreciation strategies and placing a whole shit load of money into life insurance products... you make money available but borrow against yourself."
- He claims to know this bc he worked for a bank yet 5 min earlier said he was invested in a real estate fund in which you own actual shares in buildings.

Other:

- Cody was irked that Nick didn't tweet out his appearance.
- Blames the MN murder rate ,which he claims has skyrocketed (it hasn't) since the early 2000s, on Somalis (He was basing it on the spelling of their names.)
- Claims that, like Mexicans, in the early oughts when he visited as a high-schooler, Parisians would fetishize blond girls and stroke their hair. (I call utter bullshit on that one.)
- 2:18:20 Nick has once looked up the 2 Asian massage places in his town that do happy endings but wouldn't pay the website to find out the secret words to get one. (I believe this is an old story but worth repeating?)

Edit: Put pic in post

 

[Gorton Colu]

In further contemplation, I guess it's not too surprising that the non-practicing Lawyer is a non-practicing Christian, and seemingly a non-practicing father. Shame.

 

[Harm]

- Later (not in timestamp) he shared that when he got on the G&G stream he was starving so he messaged his kids on FB to bring him snacks. His son delivered him saltines and graham crackers.

Actually demented behavior. If this man is a Christian then Christ is not sending his best.

- Around 2:46:46 discusses how he knows tax planners for generational wealth families (shocker) to avoid taxes.
"There's a bunch of cool things you can do that involve debt, property ownership, depreciation strategies and placing a whole shit load of money into life insurance products... you make money available but borrow against yourself."
- He claims to know this bc he worked for a bank yet 5 min earlier said he was invested in a real estate fund in which you own actual shares in buildings.

I'm curious whether he means they trained him on these things as part of his job or if others working for him imparted this wisdom informally. From what I've seen, he was a bank teller for Wells Fargo for a year. They don't even offer life insurance products, so how his role as a basic Wells Fargo bank teller gave him that specialized knowledge is peculiar. His first year as a bank teller involved advising clients on intergenerational wealth depreciation strategies? That isn't passing the smell test.

 

[Gorton Colu]

Actually demented behavior. If this man is a Christian then Christ is not sending his best.


I'm curious whether he means they trained him on these things as part of his job or if others working for him imparted this wisdom informally. From what I've seen, he was a bank teller for Wells Fargo for a year. They don't even offer life insurance products, so how his role as a bank teller gave him that specialized knowledge is peculiar.

Being a bank teller does not confer any of that knowledge. Further, without the appropriate accreddidations, he couldnt legally give investment advice or sell products such as insurance. More than likely he picked up general tips and strategies from Wells Fargo Premier Bankers and Wealth Advisors during water cooler talks.

 

[ChromaQuack]

Nick always came across as only nominally Christian, imo. Even in the early days when he would present himself as "trad," his views and positions were pretty unorthodox for traditional Christian denominations. For example his infamous (and sophomoric at that) critical theory interpretation of the Bible.

I believe this comes from a shallow or limited understanding of Christianity. Even with disagreements on doctrine or practices, most Christian denominations have an internal logic that is very noticeable to other practicing Christians and is more enduring. This is why when people are only broadly or culturally Christian, they will often hold malleable opinions as there is no underlying philosophy as a foundation for when circumstance and life challenge held beliefs.

This is evidenced by Nick's shift on drugs and sexual expression from traditional disdain to libertine exultation. He was never opposed to these things foundationally or morally, but rather in a shallow cultural manner. For example "I oppose sexual impropriety because Christians oppose it and I consider myself a Christian." With the coinciding social independence from his local congregation probably due to COVID restrictions and his financial independence from relatives with he has shifted his beliefs and behavior. Add in drugs, alcoholism, and E-fame on top of that.

TLDR: I believe that Nick at one point was not a phony Christian, but a shallow one and when his values and faith were tested, they were found wanting. So far since then, he has elected to indulge in debauchery. His huge ego makes me unsympathetic towards him, but I feel sorry for his children.

I think even at his Christian-est he never practiced the faith, going to church is not enough, talking the talk and verbalizing your faith is not enough; you have to walk the walk (I'm sure there's a verse about this, don't ask me which); he's never done that.

I do agree with the notion that at some point he just decided that even his performative fake bullshit was too much and just decided to go full libertine, he really should hope he goes straight to limbo otherwise his final fate will be standing at the pearly gates while Saint Peter asks "what is a balldo?"

Back then Nick was a non-practicing Christian, current Nick can't even be called that.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

His first year as a bank teller involved advising clients on intergenerational wealth depreciation strategies? That isn't passing the smell test.

He worked after WF at some sort of religious financial services thing, I want to say Lutheran based. This is what he did between WF and law school.

 

[TheKillingWords]

Being a bank teller does not confer any of that knowledge. Further, without the appropriate accreddidations, he couldnt legally give investment advice or sell products such as insurance. More than likely he picked up general tips and strategies from Wells Fargo Premier Bankers and Wealth Advisors during water cooler talks.

Remember, though, that he learned ALL of his banker stuff far faster than anyone else there. What took others months, he learned in only a handful of days. Because he's nick goddamn Rekieta, plastered (non-practicing) lawyer in a strip mall law firm from bumfuck Minnesota.

 

[No Scope]

SATURDAY NIGHT CAMELTHOTS | Rekieta Law, Robyn Hood Director, Bungie Sued and MORE #003

Nick was on Coomalot's stream with Xia last night starting at Timestamp 2:00:00.​

For a busy guy he sure gets around. At 3:45:37 out of the 5:10:00 stream, he makes an appearance on Flashcast last night and stayed until the end. It appears that Nick is still welcome on YellowFlash even after the 7 hour whining Eric July stream. If anyone cares to watch and summarize it, the link is below.

FlashCast: Are we close to WW3? Bungie gets sued! Netflix dominates Disney! Loki stinks!

 

[Strix454]

I'm curious whether he means they trained him on these things as part of his job or if others working for him imparted this wisdom informally. From what I've seen, he was a bank teller for Wells Fargo for a year. They don't even offer life insurance products, so how his role as a basic Wells Fargo bank teller gave him that specialized knowledge is peculiar. His first year as a bank teller involved advising clients on intergenerational wealth depreciation strategies? That isn't passing the smell test.

The semi-obvious answer is that he would have learned most of this from his parents who are dealing with a massive estate and Ty Beard who is into estates and trusts law.

He called himself a "Personal Banker" in "customer service" at Wells Fargo on his linkedin. He claimed he was in mortgages supposed on one stream, but the way he describes his job here I don't think he was in the mortgage business unit. Perhaps customer service in the bank branch for people wanting mortgages.

He called himself an Advanced Brokerage Services Representative at Thrivent Financial. He then said he was a subject matter expert for cash brokerage transactions. Someone can correct me, but that seems like a egotistical way of saying "customer service" for deposits and withdrawals.

 

[Spaded Dave]

- He was supposed to be on G&G but slept past 4 pm.
- He woke with Kayla in bed with him. She was watching StarTrek because "that's what she does".
- He quickly realized he was an hour late for his appearance.

If I had an appointment of any kind, let alone a "work" appointment, and I overslept with my wife wide awake next to me doing fuck all I would be fucking PISSED. Why would Kayla not wake him up?

Either she's so lazy and useless that she can't fill even the function of an alarm clock, or they so lack any investment in each other's lives that she just doesn't care.

 

[Harm]

He worked after WF at some sort of religious financial services thing, I want to say Lutheran based. This is what he did between WF and law school.

If it's this Thrivent then that makes far more sense. I'm much less familiar with their training than I am with Wells Fargo's training for bank tellers so he may be completely honest on this one. That's not to say he was especially skilled or capable with the position, but it's put him in a spot where he apparently did what he describes.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

I think even at his Christian-est he never practiced the faith, going to church is not enough, talking the talk and verbalizing your faith is not enough; you have to walk the walk (I'm sure there's a verse about this, don't ask me which); he's never done that.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James 1:22-25&version=NIV

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.