Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[YayLasagna]

The Bad Ending: Nick succumbs to alcoholism, which eventually leads to what should've been an avoidable death.

The Neutral Ending: Nick stops being an alcoholic but still acts shitty from time to time, eventually fading into online irrelevance and moving on with his life.

The Good Ending: Nick and wife move past this weird phase, Nick practices law again maybe, or finds something else to do with his life.

The Funny Ending: Nick gets cucked, his wife eventually leaves him for the bull.

The Funnier Ending: Nick gets fucked by the bull, realizes he's absolutely flaming gay, wife gets cucked and Nick leaves her for the bull.

The UFO Ending: Nick travels with Ayy LMAOs after accepting his homosexuality and being allowed to leave Silent Hill.

 

[AnOminous]

He is tired of being an adult and following social norms that he is having a very public tantrum right now where NO ONE is allowed to control him or tell him what he can do.

Except we can totally mock the shit out of him and there is nothing whatsoever he can do to make us stop.

His behavior is laughable cuckoldry, his nose is something out of a W.C. Fields film, and everything he says is wrong, which is constantly pointed out. He can do absolutely nothing about it. And he's mad. And that's funny. Also he is going bald as he gets extremely angry about this, so he is also malding, which makes it even more funny to watch his bulging red nose as he screams angrily about things he's wrong about.

 

[Retink Retunk]

Defiling graves is very gay, even more than putting on a balldo.

 

[Lemmingwiser]

It's in this post

Seriously where? I watched this 5 minutes clip twice and never do I hear him calling himself gay. I have missed stuff before, but are you sure you aren't making a mistake here? If not, at what timestamp does he say it?

 

[Peace Through Power]

Seriously where? I watched this 5 minutes clip twice and never do I hear him calling himself gay. I have missed stuff before, but are you sure you aren't making a mistake here? If not, at what timestamp does he say it?

0:31 " I don't flex it because I'm white and gay"

 

[Lemmingwiser]

0:31 " I don't flex it because I'm white and gay"

Cheers and thank you. Can't believe I've missed it twice.

Not 100% sure it's a freudian slip, might as well be a sarcastic way of saying "I'm effeminate", but he certainly says it and there's certainly a chance it is the case that it's an unintentional reveal.

 

[Poop Shoot]

The molding (haha typo but it stays) would be less apparent if he dyed his hair a lighter color. He went from a light brown/ dirty blonde a few years ago to very dark with way too much red. A lot of red in a hair dye is usually in gray formulas since they have to basically build the color from scratch on hair that has no pigment. There are other hair dyes that would work for his complexion and hair thickness much better but then he’d have to give up the simplicity of picking up a box of Just for Men at the local Walmart.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

The molding (haha typo but it stays) would be less apparent if he dyed his hair a lighter color. He went from a light brown/ dirty blonde a few years ago to very dark with way too much red. A lot of red in a hair dye is usually in gray formulas since they have to basically build the color from scratch on hair that has no pigment. There are other hair dyes that would work for his complexion and hair thickness much better but then he’d have to give up the simplicity of picking up a box of Just for Men at the local Walmart.

One would think that with the work Kayla had done, he would afford hair treatment, but perhaps he is too proud for that?

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

One would think that with the work Kayla had done, he would afford hair treatment, but perhaps he is too proud for that?

He's too lazy to do what maintenance would be required. It would be like with Anisa's tits- no follow-up care nor daily routine, and it all goes to hell.

 

[Potatoherder]

Funnily enough, he seems to be leaning back towards politics as an election year rolls around...

I bet he doesn't remember how much his midterm stream in 2022 turned out to be a wet fart. It was supposed to be a massive stream and everyone and his uncle outclassed him. Probably played a big part in him dropping the rumble-only streaming.

 

[Swole McPole]

Also legal secretaries in particular are often highly qualified, have to deal with a lot of technical language, and sometimes actually have a J.D. themselves.

Sure. I wasn't attempting to disparage them. My wife started her career as a legal secretary. Decided to qualify when she realized she was doing the work of the partners for a tenth of the money.

 

[Mr.Bucket]

I bet he doesn't remember how much his midterm stream in 2022 turned out to be a wet fart. It was supposed to be a massive stream and everyone and his uncle outclassed him. Probably played a big part in him dropping the rumble-only streaming.

I remember trying to watch that. They had on some poor political sperg who tried his damndest to do his thing but kept getting overtalked by Kayla and Branca openly flirting with each other. It was so awkward, weird, and uncomfortable.

 

[Ted's of Beverly Hills]

One would think that with the work Kayla had done, he would afford hair treatment, but perhaps he is too proud for that?

Time might be a factor in addition to pride. Effective follicle transplanting has a relatively short recovery period of a few days but weeks of ongoing scalp care and visible scabbing. He wouldn't be able to hide that he had the work done during that period unless he just disappeared for a month. Might not be a bad idea just for the chance to dry up and come back with his head screwed back on in the right direction.

 

[zyclonPD]

So legitimately how is Nick better than Pope Hat or Legal Eagle now? He's stooped so low I think Shane's shoe covered cutting board towers over him as his better.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Rekieta looks sleazy now. Before he just looked dorky.

He just looks sad. Like he could have been so much more than this. I mean look at Bruce Rivers, a completely respectable criminal law lawyer from MN like Rackets should be.

 

[TheOtherSideofMakeBelieve]

Time might be a factor in addition to pride. Effective follicle transplanting has a relatively short recovery period of a few days but weeks of ongoing scalp care and visible scabbing. He wouldn't be able to hide that he had the work done during that period unless he just disappeared for a month. Might not be a bad idea just for the chance to dry up and come back with his head screwed back on in the right direction.

Yeah, and potentially not just scabbing. I've seen people who had it done and basically all of the skin on their head, face and all, ended up becoming inflamed as a result of the trauma. Their head basically turned into a swollen ball of flesh, like the first stage of some kind of transformation from Bloodborne or something. I don't think it's a common thing but once that inflammation sets in it's in so he'd either have to pull some post-Portugal-Ralph style shenanigans or just take 1-2 weeks off, and I don't think his Rumble contract will let him take that kind of time off, from the sounds of it he's already kind of pushing it with the frequent breaks for vacations and just randomly missing streams.

I also imagine he'd have to take at least a day or two off from drinking so that the scabs can form properly and begin the healing process

 

[6thRanger]

Rekeita saying creators aren't responsible for their fans actions isn't applicable. A fan of Creator X did not do action A unprompted and be condemned by Creator X with an acknowledgement he cannot control his fan base.

In this case:

Creator X made his dislike for Creator Y clear and began making allegations of low-quality, fraud and impropriety in public. Then Creator X contacted or celebrated a fan contacting other businesses to hurt Creator Y. Then Creator X's employee visited Creator Y's business unprompted and unwelcome while vandalizing it. Creator X laughed, cheered him on and said he wants to ruin Creator Y's business. Then a fan debased Creator Y's families grave, bringing him near tears and Creator X laughed, highlighted it and proceeded to mock Creator Y's sorrow.

This is a completely different situation where Creator X, aka Dick, is obviously at the nexus of and the leader in a harassment campaign he started. This kind of dumb-as-shit "He didn't call for it explicitly!" garbage is a child's understanding of morality. The fact that Rekeita is too stupid, too drunk or too disingenuous to publicly state an understanding of this is perhaps the greatest indictment of his intelligence and honesty so far.

He's gone from embarrassing to pathetic and now just frankly disgusting. At this point he's a non-practicing human; he's just a lie-spewing golem that exists to deepthroat Dick and bring shame to his family. An interesting case here for bringing back honor killings in very narrow circumstances. Absolutely disgusting.

 

[macrodegenerate]

Yeah, and potentially not just scabbing. I've seen people who had it done and basically all of the skin on their head, face and all, ended up becoming inflamed as a result of the trauma. Their head basically turned into a swollen ball of flesh, like the first stage of some kind of transformation from Bloodborne or something. I don't think it's a common thing but once that inflammation sets in it's in so he'd either have to pull some post-Portugal-Ralph style shenanigans or just take 1-2 weeks off, and I don't think his Rumble contract will let him take that kind of time off, from the sounds of it he's already kind of pushing it with the frequent breaks for vacations and just randomly missing streams.

I also imagine he'd have to take at least a day or two off from drinking so that the scabs can form properly and begin the healing process

No idea why he wouldn't just wear at a hat at that point, plus foundation and blush might possibly fix any redness from the inflammation. He would look gay as fuck, but if he just leaned into it, he could be fine. Personally, if I were going bald like that, I would just tear the bandage off and go full bald. No point in playing a losing game is my motto in life.

 

[Ted's of Beverly Hills]

Personally, if I were going bald like that, I would just tear the bandage off and go full bald. No point in playing a losing game is my motto in life.

Some hair transplant techniques actually take pretty well. He has (or had) the money to actually do that and get it taken care of once and for all, but he'd have to crawl out of the bottle for long enough do that and make it stick.

 

[Geared Chris]

Flashback 6/13/2022: Hoes Mad: The GriftMan Cometh - Whiskey, Gin, Vodka and Rants? Audience Choice

By request from @mitro who believes this stream was the beginning of Nicks's full-tilt coomer arc. Well, fuck you, mitro, bc you're exactly right and this was a beast to summarize. Also, given the thread today, it's timely.

Spoiler: Context & My General Thoughts

This is in Nick's peak arrogance after DeppHeard and shortly after his Worst Day. A grift stream - a drink for every $400 in collective Superchats, later reduced to $100 so he could keep drinking. He had 16 shots In 4 hours and made about $6K.

It was hard to watch his psychology. He knew he had thousands of new viewers yet drunkenly looked for every possible way to offend. As for the chat, SO many regulars are long gone.

Debauchery:

• "All I want is wet dripping vaginas and hard throbbing penises because that means we're in good shape."

The white arrow is his cursor on Amauranth's ass in which he explained where men want their dicks.

• "[Gay] Pride is about shoving dicks in assholes."
• "I jack off to the The Sister of Battle."
• Says his dick size was 8" when he was 22 yo and is 7" now.
• "Women, we understand what it's like to take the most beautiful stems in the world and part them and then eat the carpet off the jungle floor." This was addressing the rumor that Mandy is lesbian.
• "Mandy, just let us eat the fucking fish... Look, Mandy, I've changed my mind on this... Show up to Matsuri and I. Will. Sign. Your. Tits.....wherever on your tits you like.... I'll sign your fucking labia."
• Then... "I'm done with fucking everything except for honesty and truth."
• "[There's] something about ejaculation on [the] face... I don't know what it is... It's probably porn... but, uh, guys just think it's great." Then he tells the women in his audience to do whatever men want them to do.
• Made jokes about fears of vacationing in Bangkok and fucking "some Thai lady-boy".
• Admitted later in the show that he started the stream "high as shit" on weed.

Hedonism II - Starts at 2:29:35:

• This is the stream when he fucks up and says they're going to Jamaica.
• Takes suggestions on hotels and jumps on Hedonism. "A shit load of people are saying Hedonism! Wait, isn't that the swinger place?" The fucker already KNEW and had probably booked.
• Then he asks I'mDave on LOCALS to send him the info and says he's "I've read some crazy shit about both of them." (He likely thought there was a Hedonism I.)

Worst Day - 2:06:45-2:14:30 and then later gets very philosophical about God at 2:22:00.

• "The past two weeks and a couple days have been the most trying time in my entire life... It was a real rough spot." Oddly specific. That puts his Worst Day at Saturday, May 28, 2022.
• He explained that he's very happy with his career but "In my personal life I'm having some weird hiccups.... they involve friends, extended family, family, God." He counted with his fingers as if that's the order of the issues.
• Then, shortly later, "Life is chess against God."

Spoiler: The reason. Does it even matter anymore?

Reminder that he appeared on this stream on May 31, 2022, days before this stream, and explained that he was recently told he could no longer teach Sunday school. (I reviewed that stream during the first July-ghetto claims to confirm Inwood Forest, TX.)

This was about them being kicked out of their Church, or some variation. it's NOT his health and not Kayla fucking around, or his dad, or a trust fund.

He's also very recently said that the reason for his meltdown was the "gayest reason ever."

Can you imagine, after all this speculation on Kiwi, it was because the (otherwise ridiculous) evangelicals got it right and kicked him out?

Notable Other:

• "The Johnny Depp coverage made me well over $200,000, I think maybe $250,000."
• The Italy trip he bought at auction was to benefit Camp Heartland benefiting kids with HIV/AIDS. His parents have supported.
• He got an ethics complaint during the Maddox lawsuit. (I'd forgotten that.)
• Brought up his Blackface pic and said "I've done pretty well on the SEO of it," implying that he has tried to hide it.

Spoiler: For the Nerds

- Anthony Toupin sent in a Superchat. Nick said they went to high school together in the class of 2000 at Lakeville. (Confirmed. He's 42 and lives in Minneapolis.)

- There was a Baby Gage GFM for which he promoted and contributed $520.00 for a baby that got caught in a lawnmower. (I can't come up with a joke here but I kinda wanna.)

- Poked fun at Kat Tenbarge for a tweet n which she was horrified at the $ streamers made during DeppHeard. Onto Angenette Levy, a reporter for L&C for saying that Heard was mistreated in the trial. Later whined about Melinda Scott for some fundraiser she was doing. Lots of Jewish jokes. He reminded everyone that she'd once called into his show.

- Welcomed new viewers and listed all the cases and people he covered.

- Nick stream-sniped Kurt while Kurt was sniping Nick while the out-liquoring was happening.

- Promoted the comic called Death Death Death by Joe Ball.

- Said that The Color of Law coloring book is "Actually in the works and will be forthcoming." Went into detail of what the coloring book would be. Arrest scenarios, etc.

- Kurt visited Nick in Spicer.

- Nick showed the backend of LOCALS when he's flagged:

Spoiler: Chat

- Uncivil, Attorney Tom, NinaInfinity, Coomalot, TUG in chat.

- Whatever happened to the mod Kalinka Pavlova (an actual Kiwi - as in, the country)? She's all over the chat.

- This one's still around, though:

- Anyone recall a Star Trek pic of Kayla? :

- Mandy said she lives near Cowboys stadium. She would not shut up on this stream.

Disclaimer: I know much of this has been clipped or already documented but sometimes a revisit given the past year + is warranted.

Edit: 2 words Edit II: Okay, 3.