I don’t feel I fit in nor do I want to fit in to the gay male social world. I have pretty much no interest in anal sex, low interest in sucking cocks. If madly in love with someone, sure maybe I’d be flexible to explore but in general my sexuality is heteronormative -pretty much a straight guy into women. Unfortunately I’m not by biology, genitals, politics, etc. I want to have PIV sex, toys don’t do it for me nor is surgery a viable option - so being with cis guys is the only way to have the intimacy I want to explore even if a switch of my anatomical preference. Does anyone else relate to this conundrum?! Where are the monogamous minded & masculine leaning cis guys into masc pussy?! Yeah a fairy tale I fear.
I’ve dated and been romantically/sexually involved with primarily cis women - I dig that, that works for me. But it’s not all I want to explore. My experiences with men have been lackluster due to societal gender norms and expectations.
As a monogamy minded transman who doesn’t fit in gay male or queer female culture as a whole, I’m at a loss and feel like I’ll have to be alone and celibate forever. I’m older already and paired with all this - I’ve never felt more at home in my body , people guess me for a decade younger, I pass. I’m at least kind of attractive and used to do really well with women. But it’s crickets now romance wise. I don’t do (too old for) club scene and apps aren’t set up to say “hey show me only people who said they’re into my kind”. Typically to be listed as male = being shown to straight women or gay men aka as those with a genital requirement you don’t meet. With rare exception. I often think I’d be much happier if only I could’ve found a way to fake enjoying my bio gender to have my intimacy ideal come to fruition. Which even then is the reverse of what I want (me as a cis guy, happily being sexual with a cis woman with the typical one of each anatomy)

it’s so ridiculous