An "unassuming man" who responds to every single person who messages him with insane "enjoy prison" Xeets, even those who try to give him well meaning advice, even his former fans, advice that even an idiot knows "don't feed the trolls" something Pat is just incapable of.
An "unassuming man" who rapidly turns even bemused strangers into Patposters, a man so obnoxious and condescending it takes less than 5 minutes for people to hate him, an "unassuming man" who can't stop antagonizing and starting slap fights, and who 100% believes, on the word of the same credit card defrauding street shitter giving this conference, that he is being targeted by the son of a Gambino family capo called Mr Softee, a man called Bob Gayporn who is at the center of a "World Wide Troll Ecosystem."
An "unassuming man" who has SWATed himself over 40 times in an attempt to get sympathy, and whose stubbornness and inability to face reality has cost his mother in law upwards of 32 thousand dollars and counting because he tried to sue the Internet for calling him FAT.

An "unassuming man" who
never found Norm MacDonald funny...
This is gonna be a hard sell for Jackie.
I kinda wish I had tickets.