- Joined
- Dec 30, 2019
He dresses like he's about to give some shitty motivational talk at a local business expo
Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.
- Thread starter Himedall All-seeing Waifu
- Start date
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
Having a place where the foul and nefarious deeds of evil lolcows are documented in meticulous detail has a much greater impact on the real world than anything Rekieta has ever done. That impact is the reason he hates and is obsessed with the farms.
He's butthurt about it because HIS foul and nefarious details are being documented in meticulous detail. I understand it completely. If the ins and outs of my swinging and cuckoldry were being documented for posterity, I'd be embarrassed too.
But people aren't morons. They see how Nick LOVED the farms when it was documenting other lolcows. Now his antics are being documented, he's not quite so keen.
Like every other lolcow in history.
Now that I've had the chance to check out the transcript and the clips, I'm genuinely surprised by how bad he was. It's almost as though he's never bothered to actually watch a quality stand-up performing. He's certainly never spent any time thinking critically or analytically about his material.
There are a handful of well-known, widely loved British comedians who do racist material. Most are dead now, but Roy 'Chubby' Brown was still packing the theatres until relatively recently. People loved them, not because the jokes were racist, but because they were genuinely funny.
Rekieta's set was just boring, long winded and embarrassing.
Here, Nick. Study up on a bit of Chubby. It's the only chub you'll be seeing this week.
Edit: shout out to Neetorino for his outstanding transcription. Jesus, Rekieta is such a useless cunt.
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- Joined
- Feb 12, 2022
It would have been funnier if he screamed TND at the top his lung again and again until he got thrown off.
Geared Chris
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2023
Nope. I mean, he has made some rape "jokes" (more like petulant irreverent humor) since I've been recapping but I didn't even take note of it, nor do I recall anyone saying anything on this thread.
Of the top of my head, I recall 3x he's leaned into rape jokes, but barely...
1. The English dental receptionist who was drunk and touched a boy. He mocked the stereotype of a boy being 'hot for teacher'. But Nick's overall point - that males can be SA-ed - was valid.
2. A joke or two about getting anally raped by black men in prison but that kind of humor is just wallpaper on his streams. I ignore it.
3. He joked (sort of) about Weinstein's victims. He questioned if they were actual victims or just ambitious women but, again, his overall point was bigger - the MeToo movement was overshadowed by Covid and wars. I ignored it. (In fact, those remarks may have been from a historical stream I watched for a recap; I'd have to check.)
Anyway, no pearl grasping on the rape issue 'round here.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
nick black god white fuck
AI is getting eerily smart.
It knows exactly what Balldo Man is all about.
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2016
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
"I showed you my Balldo plz respond"
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2023
Well, I should've just trucked on. Those last minutes were a slog but not actually very dense.
A few choice screengrabs from near the end, someone else will go through it for more good moments I'm sure.
Gotta say, Lila seems pretty irritated with Nick taking up so long.
But how long did he take up? My final tally puts him at 29 minutes, 46 seconds on stage, but 31 minutes total because he keeps talking after sitting down.
Genuine impressed by his set, the most interesting part was when he says he "thought [he] had like 30 minutes of insulation between me and her like normal". I'm taking this to mean he expected to be up there for an hour, which is why he starts grasping at straws for more jokes after 30. From everything I've seen people say in the thread, it's not normal for him to do an hour, let alone 30 minutes, especially as a first timer.
Final time, transcript in PDF form, also made a copy that was the full thing without the "part" splits. Part 3 plaintext in spoiler, you know the drill. Enjoy everyone.
A few choice screengrabs from near the end, someone else will go through it for more good moments I'm sure.
Gotta say, Lila seems pretty irritated with Nick taking up so long.
But how long did he take up? My final tally puts him at 29 minutes, 46 seconds on stage, but 31 minutes total because he keeps talking after sitting down.
Genuine impressed by his set, the most interesting part was when he says he "thought [he] had like 30 minutes of insulation between me and her like normal". I'm taking this to mean he expected to be up there for an hour, which is why he starts grasping at straws for more jokes after 30. From everything I've seen people say in the thread, it's not normal for him to do an hour, let alone 30 minutes, especially as a first timer.
Final time, transcript in PDF form, also made a copy that was the full thing without the "part" splits. Part 3 plaintext in spoiler, you know the drill. Enjoy everyone.
--Begin Part 3: “Nosedive-Bombing”--
Beginning Timecode: 39:00
Anyways, um. No, so like, on 9/11, like the tower, we’re watchin’ em, we’re like, oh my god this is terrible like these pilots are bad and they hit these towers, two of them in a row. Cuz if you don’t remember, the first time they were like maybe it was an accident. Maybe it was an accident? Oh my god was Johnny flying the first plane, like what happened? You have pitch and yaw at your feet- oh sorry.
TN: I’m assuming this audience member has no legs
But like they flew into the pla- the building, they were like we don’t know what happened? It could be an absolute… did you, giving pilots with epilepsy licenses? No that’s, that's coming 2022 when we do the whole equality thing. But right now, no we only have normal people flying the planes. And, uh, and then they flew these planes into towers and we were like oh my god, that’s a mess.
But Lila was very happy, she ran up, uh, to the rubble and she said, “hey guys, we’re no longer twin towers, we’re triplets.”
“Because they’re small” emcee
And broken!
“Right! I’m like your translator.” emcee
That’s good, thank you. I need them when I talk to good people. Will you follow me around? Except this time with authorization? Because my instagram dms are getting a little full.
“Dick out or in?” emcee
“Awwwww”
Both.
“Thank you”
Thank you..
I’m trying to think of what other jokes I have cuz I made fun of Stephen Hawking, which is easy. I made fun of blacks, which is normal. I made fun of jews which is dangerous. And I made fun of Lila Hart, which is terrible.
“It is terrible”
I know, only like three people laughed.
“That’s cuz they like her! She’s up next, they're excited.”
She’s up next? Oh Jesus, I thought I had like 30 minutes of insulation between me and her like normal. And that’s just due to the restraining order, leave me alone.
“Make fun of Chrissie Meyer”
Make fun of Chrissie Meyer?
“Say her name right!” emcee
Is it Mey-Er?
“Mey-Er, Say her name”
Say her name? GEORGE FLOYYYYYYD! Sorry! Chrissie Mey-, Chrissie grea- I know you guys are here to see Chrissie, you’re like oh look at all these other fucking idiots we gotta sit through.
“Just you and I” emcee
Yeah. Yeah,
“They like the other ones. emcee
That’s what I said.
“Yup” emcee
Yeah. And they’re like Look at all these other ones, but uhh look guys, you can’t blame Chrissy for pulling out. Okay?
“Don’t do it” emcee
Don’t do what?
“Do it”
“Don’t do it, they’re not gonna like it if you do it.” emcee
It’s not her fault! it’s a woman’s natural inclination to do the opposite of her husband. I don’t know if you guys know this, congratulations to Chrissy for securing the bag. My condolences to Frank for 18 years of what's to come.
“Why are you looking at me like I’m supposed to co-sign what you’re saying?” emcee
Cuz I need help, I’m dying up here. I feel like one of the other cripples. I’m on Jesus’ time now.
Fuck yeah! Look Frank didn’t pull out so why shouldn’t she? She’s a very powerful, strong woman. She’s like I gotta go, I gotta get out of this thing.
“... right”emcee
Thank you. Oh my god. As I wrote that joke this morning in the shower, uhh, yeah some of you know I do everything in the shower, it’s great. Textin- who doesn’t text people in the shower by the way?
“Me”
Do you guys not text people in the shower?
“You have to right?”
“No”
Wait, who does- Who does text people in the shower?
*Three hands go up on screen, Nick, Riley, and some random guy.*
“We’re running heavily into Lila’s time, that’s the only reason I’m standing here.” emcee
Why didn’t you just say that?
“Because you were… doing your thing, I didn’t want to disrespect you!” emcee
Yeah but I-
“Take a hint.”emcee
Take a hint? I don’t read the room, I’m black! I never learned to read! I’m r-
“How do you know July’s comic book is shit?” emcee
I never read it. I went to public school.
“White bread ass nigga”
I got through my football scholarship. I had male cheerleaders doing all my homework. It didn’t cost much, just a little dignity.
Lila, why aren’t you up here yet?
“Because you have to go before she gets up.” emcee
“I haven’t been introduced yet, you have to get off.” Lila
Oh wait, you have to introduce her. I’m sorry, I didn’t do protocol. I’m very sorry.
“-uninteligable-Standing to the side like an intimidating bouncer, you fuck?”
I thought you were standing to make fun of the cripples! I didn’t know protocol, I didn’t know we needed one retard to introduce the other disabled people. Sorry, thank
you all for coming to my show.
“He’s gonna do ten more minutes with my hand right here”
*Nick Rekieta finally gets off the stage*
Final timestamp: 44:26
Remaining time is transitioning into Lila’s section.
Total time spent on stage: 29 minutes, 46 seconds.
Technically, he keeps chatting the emcee for a bit more, so total time wasted by Nick Rekieta at this show is 31 minutes, 0 seconds.
--End Part 3, “Nosedive-Bombing”--
Beginning Timecode: 39:00
Anyways, um. No, so like, on 9/11, like the tower, we’re watchin’ em, we’re like, oh my god this is terrible like these pilots are bad and they hit these towers, two of them in a row. Cuz if you don’t remember, the first time they were like maybe it was an accident. Maybe it was an accident? Oh my god was Johnny flying the first plane, like what happened? You have pitch and yaw at your feet- oh sorry.
TN: I’m assuming this audience member has no legs
But like they flew into the pla- the building, they were like we don’t know what happened? It could be an absolute… did you, giving pilots with epilepsy licenses? No that’s, that's coming 2022 when we do the whole equality thing. But right now, no we only have normal people flying the planes. And, uh, and then they flew these planes into towers and we were like oh my god, that’s a mess.
But Lila was very happy, she ran up, uh, to the rubble and she said, “hey guys, we’re no longer twin towers, we’re triplets.”
“Because they’re small” emcee
And broken!
“Right! I’m like your translator.” emcee
That’s good, thank you. I need them when I talk to good people. Will you follow me around? Except this time with authorization? Because my instagram dms are getting a little full.
“Dick out or in?” emcee
“Awwwww”
Both.
“Thank you”
Thank you..
I’m trying to think of what other jokes I have cuz I made fun of Stephen Hawking, which is easy. I made fun of blacks, which is normal. I made fun of jews which is dangerous. And I made fun of Lila Hart, which is terrible.
“It is terrible”
I know, only like three people laughed.
“That’s cuz they like her! She’s up next, they're excited.”
She’s up next? Oh Jesus, I thought I had like 30 minutes of insulation between me and her like normal. And that’s just due to the restraining order, leave me alone.
“Make fun of Chrissie Meyer”
Make fun of Chrissie Meyer?
“Say her name right!” emcee
Is it Mey-Er?
“Mey-Er, Say her name”
Say her name? GEORGE FLOYYYYYYD! Sorry! Chrissie Mey-, Chrissie grea- I know you guys are here to see Chrissie, you’re like oh look at all these other fucking idiots we gotta sit through.
“Just you and I” emcee
Yeah. Yeah,
“They like the other ones. emcee
That’s what I said.
“Yup” emcee
Yeah. And they’re like Look at all these other ones, but uhh look guys, you can’t blame Chrissy for pulling out. Okay?
“Don’t do it” emcee
Don’t do what?
“Do it”
“Don’t do it, they’re not gonna like it if you do it.” emcee
It’s not her fault! it’s a woman’s natural inclination to do the opposite of her husband. I don’t know if you guys know this, congratulations to Chrissy for securing the bag. My condolences to Frank for 18 years of what's to come.
“Why are you looking at me like I’m supposed to co-sign what you’re saying?” emcee
Cuz I need help, I’m dying up here. I feel like one of the other cripples. I’m on Jesus’ time now.
Fuck yeah! Look Frank didn’t pull out so why shouldn’t she? She’s a very powerful, strong woman. She’s like I gotta go, I gotta get out of this thing.
“... right”emcee
Thank you. Oh my god. As I wrote that joke this morning in the shower, uhh, yeah some of you know I do everything in the shower, it’s great. Textin- who doesn’t text people in the shower by the way?
“Me”
Do you guys not text people in the shower?
“You have to right?”
“No”
Wait, who does- Who does text people in the shower?
*Three hands go up on screen, Nick, Riley, and some random guy.*
“We’re running heavily into Lila’s time, that’s the only reason I’m standing here.” emcee
Why didn’t you just say that?
“Because you were… doing your thing, I didn’t want to disrespect you!” emcee
Yeah but I-
“Take a hint.”emcee
Take a hint? I don’t read the room, I’m black! I never learned to read! I’m r-
“How do you know July’s comic book is shit?” emcee
I never read it. I went to public school.
“White bread ass nigga”
I got through my football scholarship. I had male cheerleaders doing all my homework. It didn’t cost much, just a little dignity.
Lila, why aren’t you up here yet?
“Because you have to go before she gets up.” emcee
“I haven’t been introduced yet, you have to get off.” Lila
Oh wait, you have to introduce her. I’m sorry, I didn’t do protocol. I’m very sorry.
“-uninteligable-Standing to the side like an intimidating bouncer, you fuck?”
I thought you were standing to make fun of the cripples! I didn’t know protocol, I didn’t know we needed one retard to introduce the other disabled people. Sorry, thank
you all for coming to my show.
“He’s gonna do ten more minutes with my hand right here”
*Nick Rekieta finally gets off the stage*
Final timestamp: 44:26
Remaining time is transitioning into Lila’s section.
Total time spent on stage: 29 minutes, 46 seconds.
Technically, he keeps chatting the emcee for a bit more, so total time wasted by Nick Rekieta at this show is 31 minutes, 0 seconds.
--End Part 3, “Nosedive-Bombing”--
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2019
If a bunch of people can go to screenings of The Room and laugh at Tommy Wiseau's attempting and failing at making 'draaaamah', complete with nitpicking and in-jokes, then I can watch this wigger's attempt at making 'comedy'.
Actually now that I think about it the RLM guys had a term for what Nick accomplished - it's nonmedy.
His cope that "alottapeepul enjoyed my set" reminded me of this random_text.txt quote I saw on the front page
"“I have been
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Potatoherder
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2020
A good night for rage bait on YT with $481 and also a ok night on rumble. 40.2% or $92 is coming from Patrick_T. I swear he was a rippa fanboy but was sperging on politics. No references to the farms/kiwi or null in the log and was just a lot of the same boring stuff.
Attachments
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2021
the way rekieta says it sounds almost like the thing was a fed honeypot
TheKillingWords
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2023
I remember awhile back when he was reading from WaPo or CNN articles that he would stop to make the point that they do this very thing in legacy media: An employee from the company calls in with "insider information" under the condition of "anonymity" and starts a rumor which will then be covered in full by the company to gain traction for more clicks or sales.
I never thought he'd stoop so low as to take part in it himself. Then again, I've only been watching a few months before Rittenhouse so I don't know his personality as well as other people here do.
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2022
Thanks for taking the bullet on this, I’ll take your word on this last one. I just can’t read any more of his shit. It’s just fucking awful, it’s a cross between a 2016 /pol/ tourist and a 12 year old spazzing out from caffeine starting to feel the effects of sleep deprivation. He doesn’t even care what he’s saying he just wants to hear himself make noises.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
It's just the old game. Scoop up whoever has ears listening to him. Find their vulnerabilities. Recruit them. They all glow.
Not saying it's true. But tinfoil definitely proliferates here and it is probably foolish not to have a supply.
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2018
What...
Nick please stop staring at me like that. It was just as much pain slowly listening to the same Stephen Hawking jokes again and again for 5 straight minutes as it was for you to "perform" it.
do you mean...
the bull's dinner...
isn't cooked yet?
He...
is going...
to be...
very hungry...
when he gets here.
You were supposed to...
have...
everything...
cooked...
before I...
got home.
I don't want...
to hit you...
with the remote...
control...
but I have...
to hit you...
with the remote...
control!
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2021
I have said it before in this thread but I genuinely don't think he ever made good content that didn't have to be dragged out of the gutter first by guests. I think the standards might've just been lower in The Sektur or w/e at that time for people who were used to people like the Rage Pig or Chief No Legs of tribe Wrasslewrassle.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
What kind of weirdo thinks there's anything wrong with pissing on graves?
This is current year Nick.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2012
He's inviting the audience to buy into balldos as a mid level marketing scheme.
- Joined
- May 6, 2020
- Joined
- May 17, 2021
He got 200 exclusive viewers in LOCALS during a subscriber-only show. It was at 4 AM local, so this only establishes a floor for those who can catch him live.
During the day he never gets more than 200 and the average is around 20-25 in the chat, but you can watch the chat as a non-sub and I know there are a few people just watching and documenting, and I am running my logger across a few accounts.
I think TiC said that seriously, but no one else seriously.
Sounds like Nick cannot just take a joke...
She came back 4 or so minutes later.
His story on this was that he went to a doctor after his boss said that his lateness was unacceptable and he should see a doctor if he is so tired in thr morning. Supposedly he was sent for a sleep study and had 29/30 of the symptoms, or some overwhelming majority. He then threw that in his boss' face.
He was on InfoWars with Schroyer FOREVER ago. I press X to doubt that he was recently invited. I would be more believing that he asked to get on and they told him they would talk later with the put off that Owen is going to jail.
At some point subjective belief leads you to objectively bad actions.
I remember Nick's argument for charged speech being 'it is legal until it crosses into actions that are illegal and you can nab them on other existing laws. We don't need many speech laws' and I liked that. This take seems to be a 180 to give himself a free pass to accuse someone of a crime and let him go because he is too dumb and lazy to know the truth.
This was the topic of the tweet that Cari Machet was excoriating him on. Apparently Fix and L&L have been trying to get on to talk about it for a while. Chris triggered his ODD by saying he would not cover it.
It was the first in Chris' summary. Supposedly he got 3 phone calls during his last LOCALS show becuase someone clipped it, then posted it under a random Truth Social of TikTok video of a rabbit and the account owner called a nick to yell at him