EU Students demand sex holes at university - "The University of Augsburg is in a tizzy over a wicked proposal: at today's Convention meeting, students are calling for the construction of so-called "gloryholes" - holes in the wall for anonymous sex."


Translated from German via Deepl

Is there a hole in the fun?

The University of Augsburg is in a tizzy over a wicked proposal: at today's Convention meeting, students are calling for the construction of so-called "gloryholes" - holes in the wall for anonymous sex. At first glance, the motion sounds like satire.

Or does it?

A university employee told BILD: "The proposers are so woke, they don't mean it as a joke." The unusual initiative was brought in by several students who are active in the "Queer Department" of the University of Augsburg, where they campaign for gays and lesbians.

The application, which is available to BILD, states: "Three gloryholes are to be built in the lecture hall center opposite the entrance, where the information boards are currently located." This is a hole in a wall that will be used for anonymous sex. The students also already have a plan for cleaning: building management may lend a hand.

The students further demand: "In addition, the gloryholes should be soundproof and opaque. The gloryholes should be designed to be as barrier-free as possible - the height should be adjustable, there should be wall handles to hold onto." "Condoms, lick wipes, lubricants and disinfectant and wipes" should also be provided, the motion says.

The students are responding to a high demand with their request, they write in their justification. On a "wish wall" of the AstA, the holes had been requested most often.

In addition, the students explain, "Building the gloryholes allows the university to be understood as a heteronormativity-critical space because kink is to be understood as a non-heteronormative practice."

Uh, excuse me? BILD explains: the English word "kink" generally stands for "deviant sexual preferences and fantasies." Since these are not only lived out by heterosexual students, gloryholes would somehow also "contribute to diversification on campus, since kink could thus also be experienced or lived out at the university." Sex could also be relaxing, which could create a more positive atmosphere on campus.

Moaning instead of studying!

Anything but positive sees the "Ring Christlich-Demokratischer-Studenten Augsburg e.V.", (RCDS Augsburg) the request, wrote already a round email to students and the president of the university, Prof. Dr. Sabine Doering-Manteuffel. The RCDS Augsburg: "Referring to the public email of the Student Convention, we as the Freedom Democratic List take a stand and firmly reject the establishment of Gloryholes at the University of Augsburg."

Gloryholes at a university are "highly scandalous and unacceptable" and would represent a serious violation of ethical and moral standards.
So far, the proposers are sticking to their proposal. All hollow words or an airtight demand? At 6 p.m. tonight, the Convention will decide on the Gloryholes.
 
These are to be erected
Now that's punny!

I’m sincerely considering just going to Germany again just to call every German I meet a faggot at this point.
They'd just take it as a compliment.

I'd think something like an adjustable panel mounted inside the wall would work, but there is always the risk of it being a cock guillotine.

Presumably something like this

But instead of a monitor it's a panel with a hole in it.
Seems pretty doable.

only people servicing this glory hole will be the creepy janitor with a criminal history and some other old faggot faculty
Yeah. Why I never really saw the appeal of the entire concepts.

Maybe the engineering genes lead them too close to the autistic sun and they just get deviant?
I just assume after centuries of emigration and who knows how many dysgenic wars the german people just aren't what they use to be.

I don't even want to know.
Seems to be a registered trademark.
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Engineering autists, please explain how the fuck you'd make a height adjustable gloryhole? It's a hole in a wall, those don't tend to move around.

I guess you could make the wall be able to be moved up and down in it's entirety, but that seems like it would be pretty fucking expensive to install in a soundproof room.
it's called a stool.
 
"Building the gloryholes allows the university to be understood as a heteronormativity-critical space because kink is to be understood as a non-heteronormative practice."
You love it when they say the quiet part out loud that being sexually dysfunctional and being "non-heteronormative" are the same thing.
 
Engineering autists, please explain how the fuck you'd make a height adjustable gloryhole? It's a hole in a wall, those don't tend to move around.

I guess you could make the wall be able to be moved up and down in it's entirety, but that seems like it would be pretty fucking expensive to install in a soundproof room.
The first idea that comes to mind is carving a vertical line across the wall a bit bigger than the average penis. Then attach some rails vertically along the wall, kinda like a drawer. Finally you grab another piece of wood with the glory hole in it and attach it to the rails in a way that the hole aligns with the vertical line carved out. Again this is basically just a drawer but vertical instead of horizontal. Add some bolts or just a stick to secure the damn thing and you have a height adjustable glory hole so that midgets feel included. Mind you that the wall and adjustable glory hole should be thin so that it maximises the penis output.
 
English please
It's Frankfurt School Marxism in the form of Queer Theory bullshit. They literally think that if they just break all the taboos of society and get others to join it, it will lead to the communist revolution, because all current taboos and social norms spring from the capitalist system itself. Marx didn't believe ideas or human will played any part in how societies are set up, economic systems came first and then the moralities, laws, and culture of the people came after in order to reinforce and support the economic system. Frankfurt school basically decided 1) this might not be entirely right and 2) the potential for revolution wasn't in the workers in the world but rather the marginalized aka gays, trannies, and shitskins. So therefore if you attack normalcy (heteronormativity in this case) as much as possible and push degreneracy in its place you will eventually smash capitalism and free everyone into beautiful utopia.
 
Engineering autists, please explain how the fuck you'd make a height adjustable gloryhole? It's a hole in a wall, those don't tend to move around.

I guess you could make the wall be able to be moved up and down in it's entirety, but that seems like it would be pretty fucking expensive to install in a soundproof room.

You put a stack of phonebooks near the hole. So that manlets can reach.
Specifically the second one, having the floor be able to elevate on both ends probably would solve a lot of issues. Think a hydraulic lift they use for wheelchairs at disabled people's homes
 
The first idea that comes to mind is carving a vertical line across the wall a bit bigger than the average penis. Then attach some rails vertically along the wall, kinda like a drawer. Finally you grab another piece of wood with the glory hole in it and attach it to the rails in a way that the hole aligns with the vertical line carved out. Again this is basically just a drawer but vertical instead of horizontal. Add some bolts or just a stick to secure the damn thing and you have a height adjustable glory hole so that midgets feel included. Mind you that the wall and adjustable glory hole should be thin so that it maximises the penis output.
I can't be the only one who read that and immediately thought of one of these glued into the wall. Plus as an added bonus they can reuse it in the cafeteria whenever they're making pasta
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Can zoomers not just fuck like normal people? I've been led to believe zoomers are hypersexual but are they so fucked up they can't even have sex normally?
 
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