DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Sicko Hunter]

Pictured: the face of a man who is the happiest he's ever been in life.

 

[Crooked 16th]

Pictured: the face of a man who is the happiest he's ever been in life.
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If you only knew how bad things were

 

[Sicko Hunter]

 

[Vic Viper T301]

Man that night stream was something else. Phil whining about being sick every five minutes. Literally crying because some random NPC dies off camera five minutes after you meet him. Then he gets thrust into a mission where the control switches to lantern jawed MJ who, in typical current year media fashion, is an invincible girlboss who effortlessly does stealth takedowns on trained military guys twice her size. Phil alternates between complaining about this and long periods of silently seething, then abruptly does a manual save and quits in the middle of the mission because he's just so, so sick and has to go to bed. Fucking hilarious.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

You really have to wonder what the fuck is going on behind da scenes when he's cried over video games 3 times already in the past month and a half. Midlife crisis is crushing this guy.

 

[Kier Starmer]

I am still not buying the sick thing, honestly, I think it's two things.

1. He is trying to avoid the react streams of how painfully low they earn but also how uncomfortable they make him. Troll fans keep sending him his old content and it is clearly getting to him if there is one thing. Phil is incapable of facing his demons and I think that sends his narc pride into injury. Believe me, in all of this any anxiety this guy poses is bull because in actuality it is just the constant shredding of his ego.
2. New fix to drive champions money but as said earlier there is something off in Whale World as they are clearly picking one choice; memberships or tips and that is failing register.

I do think we are heading towards a reeee-mergency/state of the channel stream crisis because it is taking a toll on Phil now. The cracking I think is because anything emotional even briefly feeds on that "anxiety". Fucker knows he has been in a house built on sand for years but before his metrics were nowhere near as bad so he could ignore it. It's having a material effect on his spending now and he just can't cope.

I think deep down that Panda was still there because at least she communicated and looked after herself and also she was attractive. What does he have now, a woman who ate herself into being a deathfat, does not even clean, and is a fucking vacuum of emptiness. He did not get part of his deal he wanted and he is stuck with her. If he initiates divorce she potentially gets half and he nothing. He is trapped and what is worse the detractors are recording revenue etc and fans are slowly leaving bit by bit. what is worse the detractors are getting more interest than him and have successful lives whilst he is living what he says the detractors are.

He kind of told on himself about the state of his marriage during the internet outage and I think he is aware of that and this is why the sudden "illness" too. His "marriage" is worse than what Panda was, he has to keep her sated and I would not be surprised if she has laid the thread down. That if they divorce she tells everything to the highest bidder, she has wrangled herself an insane insurance policy meaning divorce cannot happen because he cannot pay her like he did with Panda but also 2 devastating interviews in a year are just it.

 

[Whaler]

View attachment 5452087

You had the perfect opportunity to use "gouts of crying" as a play on words and you didn't use it. Shame on you man.

 

[Iron Father]

You had the perfect opportunity to use "gouts of crying" as a play on words and you didn't use it. Shame on you man.

 

[Balr0g]

Lol, Phil says that he used to cry at video games all the time back in his Youtube legacy days, but he just cut these moments of out the videos. I hope he dies.

View attachment 5451887

Wait he EDITED his raw kahntent back in the day? I am shocked! SHOCKED!

 

[FamicomGorby]

Lol, Phil says that he used to cry at video games all the time back in his Youtube legacy days, but he just cut these moments of out the videos. I hope he dies.

View attachment 5451887

Lol at the idea that young Dave did any editing.

Really hard to believe he's sick when he still rambled on in his usual overly verbose manner for like ten minutes at the end of the stream bitching about being sick.

 

[Lorgarloveshisfamily]

Also keep in mind just after all this happened he acts sick there is no WAY phil isn't either A. going through some relationship trauma or B. there's a gout junior in the oven, if this was about less income you would think you would stream more or drink less but this is phil who knows?

 

[Kane lives in death]

As much as I hate to wish bad fortune on others, I'd be lying if I didn't say I'd love to see DSP get sick for real. Something serious that could seriously hinder his ability to stream or just drain all of his money so he doesn't have any more funbux for gachas. The man has never had to suffer real hardship in his life, never has to deal with the consequences of his actions, and it's very frustrating when better people with friends and family who actually love them get dealt far shittier hands in life.

Call me MATI but I find it harder and harder to watch videos about Phil because it just feels like karma is never going to catch up with him.

I dont understand why people think this way, Phils life is absolutely hell on earth, he has no friends, no romantic relationships and no human sons, he also almost never speaks with his parents.
He never leaves his house that is probably filled with hoarder garbage, he has an autistic roommate who plays skyrim all day, hes a gambling slave to WWE champions, and that means he never saves anything, he will we streaming till he dies to an audience of mentally retarded people because they are the only ones that can stand him.
Hes so unreasonably paranoid about detractors that he lives in permanent absolute fear of them, he lets it slip sometimes that the trolls live in his head 24/7, there are few things worse than the stress of living with permanent unreasonable paranoia.
His mental has deteriorated a lot, just rewach the sidescrollers interview if you want to be reminded of how mentally damaged he is, when he talks with normal people it really comes to light that this hermit lifestyle has damaged him beyong repair, and you can see that at least in my opinion, karma has catched up to him extremely hard, i believe hes miserable all day.
If i had to live like him i would legit kms, what a miserable existence, and all of it was his fault, thats why i love watching him, to see if somehow it can get worse.

edit: the one time he avoided consequences for some of his actions was with the bankrupcy arc, and while it sucked, it didnt make his life better, hes still miserable because off all the other choices he has made in life, sometimes people get lucky, but that was an outlier, every other aspect of his life still sucks ass.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

View attachment 5451848
Days since Phil has cried on livestream: 0

Oh hey, it's the new chair spin! I'll give Phil credit in that he's trying to target dent emotions for their wallets rather than appealing directly to the wallets. It's still beyond retarded, but at least he's (barely) trying.

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

there's a gout junior in the oven

0% chance. phil is a literal homosexual

 

[Balr0g]

0% chance. phil is a literal homosexual

Who says it's his? Maybe that's the reason he is so emotional. He got betrayed AGAIN by someone he thought would be on his side forever.

In all seriousness it is most likely a mid life crisis he totally doesn't have

 

[architects]

lol, it’s like I watched a 10 year try and convince his mom into letting him stay home from school sick. Dramatic times dramatic…all that for $52 bucks. Even money he’s out “sick” today.

 

[Bored Euro Trash]

I don't actually believe that Phil cries when vidya characters talk about their dead moms wives, because one day his mom wife said something that reminded him of T, who he killed in cold blood back in the day, and it made him snap.
So he tried to strangle her, but naturally he couldn't locate her neck.
Instead, he shoved a piece of lettuce in her mouth and held it shut. Her (massive) body had a severe allergic reaction and she died instantly. Over the course of 2 months, he inched her (massive) dead body into the backyard and buried her in a shallow grave (anything is a shallow grave for that land whale if you don't have an excavator).

And thus, he cries at the mention of a dead mom wife.
Case closed.

 

[Friendly Primarina]

I dont understand why people think this way, Phils life is absolutely hell on earth, he has no friends, no romantic relationships and no human sons, he also almost never speaks with his parents.

I hear this a lot - Chantal is the same way - and it always comes off as a cope to me. If the argument is that Phil has problems, well no shit. That's every lifestyle and profession, no matter how comfortable it might be. The King of England probably has all sorts of things in his life that make him unhappy or he wishes he didn't have to deal with. That doesn't mean most people wouldn't happily trade all of their problems for all of his.

It's frustrating to see Phil get handed everything on a silver platter. "He's unhappy and lives a hermit's life" I hear you say. Okay but he still sits in front of a video game playing it badly and gets paid thousands of dollars a month for this. YMMV, but Phil being miserable isn't much solace IMO. I personally don't let it bother me too much - because there's no excuse for getting mad about Phil - but it's still annoying to see this lazy piece of shit coast though life without suffering any real hardships.

 

[Kane lives in death]

I hear this a lot - Chantal is the same way - and it always comes off as a cope to me. If the argument is that Phil has problems, well no shit. That's every lifestyle and profession, no matter how comfortable it might be. The King of England probably has all sorts of things in his life that make him unhappy or he wishes he didn't have to deal with. That doesn't mean most people wouldn't happily trade all of their problems for all of his.

It's frustrating to see Phil get handed everything on a silver platter. "He's unhappy and lives a hermit's life" I hear you say. Okay but he still sits in front of a video game playing it badly and gets paid thousands of dollars a month for this. YMMV, but Phil being miserable isn't much solace IMO. I personally don't let it bother me too much - because there's no excuse for getting mad about Phil - but it's still annoying to see this lazy piece of shit coast though life without suffering any real hardships.

I dont think its cope, i wouldnt trade his life for any reason, even his streaming ¨career¨ i think it sucks, yea he plays games 6 days a week, but what good does that do, he hates playing games, when hes not insulting the devs hes spewing excuses, when hes not spewing excuses hes trying not to fall sleep, what good does working few hours a day do when you are a hermit who never leaves the house the rest of the day and only ¨talks¨ with his roommate whos a divorce-rape timebomb, what good does gaining thousands of dollars a month do when he will never spend them in a meanighful way that could improve his life, and all that for an small audience of retards who you have to constantly scam out of their money, and retards arent known for being rich.

The fact that he squandered his chances of an actually good streaming career, or of a good loving relationship with Panda, or of having a retirement plan only makes it funnier to me, but seeing your comment i understand that it sucks when so much people that are not given good cards in life , and Phil of all people had a chance to make it big but blew it, i think at the end we just have a different way of seeing things.

 

[arrivefriday]

I hear this a lot - Chantal is the same way - and it always comes off as a cope to me. If the argument is that Phil has problems, well no shit. That's every lifestyle and profession, no matter how comfortable it might be. The King of England probably has all sorts of things in his life that make him unhappy or he wishes he didn't have to deal with. That doesn't mean most people wouldn't happily trade all of their problems for all of his.

It's frustrating to see Phil get handed everything on a silver platter. "He's unhappy and lives a hermit's life" I hear you say. Okay but he still sits in front of a video game playing it badly and gets paid thousands of dollars a month for this. YMMV, but Phil being miserable isn't much solace IMO. I personally don't let it bother me too much - because there's no excuse for getting mad about Phil - but it's still annoying to see this lazy piece of shit coast though life without suffering any real hardships.

It is frustrating to see how Dave seemingly fail his way to success sometimes but all jealousy I could ever feel gets stripped away every time I hear him talk about his life.

He has no friends, his wife is only his wife because he felt the need to replace his ex, his finances are okay but he's an actual retard who can't help himself when it comes to spending, he's one of the most lazy people I've ever seen because what kinda person doordashes so much that he has containers up to the ceiling in his garage?
He has the body of a geriatric when he's in his early 40's and he's just also very fucking stupid. The money aspect is about the only thing he's got going for him because other than that he's got nothing.