Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Swole McPole]

Made it about a minute into this smoothbrained take before diving when I felt my IQ dropping just from listening to it.

It's utterly fucking bizzare. What the hell did he do well? He was NEVER great at lawyering. He was a shit lawyer who couldn't build a decent fucking practice. He's a failed writer. Went to college and studied creative writing and published zilch. Here's a clue, Rekieta: writer's write. Lawyers practice the law. Perhaps he was the best ever bank teller in the whole of Minnesota, but aside from that, his ONLY success is that he built a decent sized YouTube channel by livestreaming Depp vs Heard and then pissed it all away again when he abandoned the law to talk about strapping on the Balldo and ramming bottles up the arse of him and his slow-witted wife.

I've dated women who adopt the strategy Rekieta suggests here. "Ohh, what a massive cock. However will I manage to accomodate such a thing?" GTFOOH! My cock isn't massive. It's absolutely average. Mean, median or mode, it doesn't matter which measure of average you adopt, my cock fits them all. Don't piss down my leg and tell me it's raining.

But if you're sufficiently interested in my work to take the time and the trouble to figure out what it is that I do, and you're familiar enough to be able to intelligently measure what I do against my peers in the same field, and can then talk insightfully about why what that particular project was impressive -- you've got a fan for life.

Talk is cheap. Time is limited. If you care enough to invest the time to educate yourself about my field sufficiently to be able to make an informed comparison between my work and that of my peers, that's displaying a level of interest and commitment that'll persuade me to marry you.

Telling me that I've got an enormous cock or fantastic glutes is akin to telling me you're a manipulative low-effort cunt and while I'm happy to keep fucking you until the next smart woman comes along, I'm ditching you as soon as I can.

That said, why would ANYBODY listen to Rekieta's guide to women? He claims to have had sex with ONE in his whole life. Most of his effort these days seems to be directed towards figuring out which black bull will be the next to cornhole him until he's got a prolapsed rectum.

Perhaps these are the kind of things he likes his black bull to tell him? "Oh Nich, you've got an enormous cock. You're truly hung like a Mandingo. You've got quadriceps like Michael Jordan. Now bend over and take this dick..."

 

[Car Won't Crank]

Translation: Nick wants to interview Chris.

Which is silly as Nick doesn't have the mental faculties to interview a plank of wood.

 

[Captain Manning]

Translation: Nick wants to interview Chris.

I mean, maybe, but I think he wouldn't even go here if it weren't for his beef with Null. He knows Null is disgusted with Chris, and he's trying to do everything possible to get under Null's skin so he'll respond directly. Nick is so MATI at Null now, he's gonna sink to smirking over the district possibility of Chris raping his elderly mother again.

Also, let's not forget we got here because Chris admitted he fucked his mom. Just like we got where we're at with Vito because he admitted he's a pedo. Nick apparently doesn't put much value in the words of somebody when Null doesn't like that person. Is he gonna claim what Chris said over the phone and text messages a joke too?

Every fucking day I read this thread, I get more disgusted with Rekieta.

BTW, here's a clip of Null, Rekieta, and Drex going over the Chris-Chan case back in 2021. Somebody might want to pick it over for inconsistences. I'm sure there are plenty.

Which is silly as Nick doesn't have the mental faculties to interview a plank of wood.

Well, he could introduce Chris to the Balldo. Maybe he'd suggest he use it on Barb.

No, but seriously, Rittenhouse was pretty bad, but now he's even more fucked up from where he was at in January. I shudder over the thought what a Rekieta-CWC interview now would look and sound like.

 

[Xhrash]

Any man with a functioning penis would not wear a balldo(r), Balldo.

He must have gotten bogus information from the Ralphamale himself considering he really wants Josh to wear one.

Nick talked about the CSAM hash filter and the 'hypothetical programmer'. He asked if it wasn't weird to want to write a program to find and tag it. He did a lawyer question 'Isn't it true that you can tag things for good or bad purposes?' Couldn't they use it to archive and collect it!?!?! Why are you doing it if you are NOT A GOVERNMENT or big tech platform.

According to this "libertarian" dipshit, only the government and a few monopolies should be allowed to automatically filter that content. If you don't want to deal with this spam on websites, your only recourse should be to pay up some big tech company who has a fingerprinting loicense and send all user-submitted media directly to their servers for validation.
Remember, you can't do it with your own tools and neither can the moderators by sweeping it up manually, because THEY COULD BE COLLECTING IT!!!
Big "And if I had to guess, it was probably YOU who are the real pedophiles!" energy here.

 

[Vect]

Drunken relationship talk

"This is what I do. I drink...and I know things."

 

[Balldo's Gate]

On stream, between 6-12 shots but we know from Aaron of SteelToeMorningShow that he enjoys a whisky with breakfast.

Last night was weird. I was going to give him a shout-out for not drinking at all. I didn't see him have a single drink while Turtleboy was on. Then, later, he was suddenly very drunk. He made a deliberate point of holding up the two Monster cans he'd been drinking. Methinks one or both of those cans were spiked. For the last 90 min of the show, he drank normally from his whisky glass.

Product is called "Rehab Monster".

You can't make this up.

He must have misunderstood while not reading this thread what people meant when they said he needed rehab.



"GO TO REHAB? WE HAVE REHAB AT HOME!" Never heard of this, but it's a tea-flavored alternative Monster product. It has the same amount of caffeine per can as the regular Monster energy drinks (160mg) but only 6% of the sugar.

The marketing material sure makes it sound like it's being positioned as a hangover cure. Maybe the idea was that this will stop him from cancelling shows due to "dehydration"?



I guess the question is whether Rekieta is spiking the drinks because he's under pressure about the amount he's drinking on stream or whether he's been taken in by the marketing material which makes it sound like a hangover cure.

I think this is turning into the Sober Spring saga with Ralph where people were watching to see if he unsealed everything on camera, listening for bottles falling over, etc, except with Rekieta he's still drinking on stream.

@Geared Chris (or anyone else who watches his drivel), have we seen Nick crack the lid on these bad boys at all?

Edit: the site is being funny sorry. He’s been drinking Monsters at all hours since probably Vegas, can’t seem to get enough of it. Copious amounts of caffeine probably doesn’t help

According to the above, he has apparently been drinking these for a while, but I didn't notice it until recently.

Surely I am not the only person thinking there's gonna come a point when Nick is gonna lose his shit at Sean, and it's gonna be glorious? Nick's not helped here by the fact that Warski and PPP keep playing Elissa's clips of Sean on the KC.

Well, especially with his recent comments about how he thinks the Balldo is for men with ED.

 

[prolapsed_cranium]

Product is called "Rehab Monster"

It's "Monster: Rehab"

It's very tasty.....for being Monster. Most of those drinks are utter shit.

 

[Harm]

It has the same amount of caffeine per can as the regular Monster energy drinks (160mg)

Maybe the idea was that this will stop him from cancelling shows due to "dehydration"?

"I'm dehydrated...

...better drink a diuretic!"

This is exactly something Nick would do.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

It's very tasty.....for being Monster. Most of those drinks are utter shit.

How dare you good sir. Monster is a delicious beverage.
But uh, it can't be great taking all the other stimulants in monster, assuming the "rehab" has those as well.

 

[Drew Pickles 69]

Nick's gonna troon out soon isn't he? We're just a few months away from waking up to him tweeting about having a vagina.

 

[PixarsTedKennedy]

Translation: Nick wants to interview Chris.

Juju blamed the farms for Chris fucking his mom. Nick is just parroting juju again.

 

[Captain Manning]

It's "Monster: Rehab"

It's very tasty.....for being Monster. Most of those drinks are utter shit.

Apropos of nothing, but I prefer Rockstar. I always thought Monster tasted like shit. Also, while I'm thinking of it, Red Bull is overpriced garbage too. Who the fuck buys those small cans at those prices?

How do I made this on-topic?

Oh yeah, Nick is gay.

Juju blamed the farms for Chris fucking his mom. Nick is just parroting juju again.

I'm sure he is, but how the fuck does that work?

God damn it, nothing either of those two say make any sort of sense.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Drunken relationship talk - didn't even bother listening, but is this what his amazing idea for the future of his show was supposed to be?

I guess I'm 2,500 pages late with this question but what makes Nick qualified to wax academic on these topics? He's barely a lawyer, so why does he think he has the authority to play pretend relationship counsellor, psychoanalyst etc?

Everyone's got an opinion, but that fucking 'I don't WANT, to wear the Balldo' way of speaking on topics makes him sound so up his own ass. Or maybe I'm being unfair and he's just so shitfaced he has to speak like that to make sure he gets the words out in the right order.

 

[DaleMcGuy]

Nick's gonna troon out soon isn't he? We're just a few months away from waking up to him tweeting about having a vagina.

His "Degen Arc" seemed to be prepping the audience for his coming out. Now delayed further by the continued backlash and newly crowned "Lulcow of Da Sektur".

 

[Xhrash]

As I said earlier, I think he's just flailing at Null ineffectively by saying "See! Chris wasn't brought to trial! Josh was wrong again!"

This imbecile is trying the classic tactic of throwing anything at the wall, hoping that something sticks and that his/Null's audience is dumb enough to treat his drunken hot tub screech as the truth. Unfortunately for him, only his small circle of hardcore fans and Juju cowriders would -- people who already hate Josh.

Last time it involved a lolbertarian take on CSAM filters, this time it's about Chris presumably due to the Sonichu demon having corrupted him.

Being a non-practicing lawyer, he's doing it the slimy way by merely implying that *some person* who's totally not Null is wrong at judging people since the state released him, not because they kept him too long in jail without doing anything, but because the state believes he is innocent.

Using that same brilliant logic, Montagraph is also a pedophile because the state dismissed his previous lawsuit against someone calling him one, not on a pro-se-related technicality but because the judge totally believed he is one. He's going to win his defamation lawsuit and make Monty personally pay Randazza, just you wait.

 

[Captain Manning]

His "Degen Arc" seemed to be prepping the audience for his coming out. Now delayed further by the continued backlash and newly crowned "Lulcow of Da Sektur".

BTW, it's still early, but if he's in the running for Lolcow of the Year for 2023 (and he absolutely should be), he's got my vote. Last year he got Internet Famous Cow of the Year. I think he's only got worse since then. WAY worse. Is there any other cow on the entire site (not just this subforum) that's getting as much attention as he is now?

 

[Ethan Ralph Is 5'1"]

Never lose sight of the fact that Rekieta desperately wants everyone to focus on ANYTHING else instead of his cuckold ventures in Jamaica and Ricardo and Romaine.
He's made his feud with Josh all about Drexel and is exchanging pedo accusations, when that's not what he's actually mad about people documenting and digging into.

 

[Drew Pickles 69]

His "Degen Arc" seemed to be prepping the audience for his coming out. Now delayed further by the continued backlash and newly crowned "Lulcow of Da Sektur".

I think Rekieta was murdered all the way back during cuck week and replaced by a changeling at the hotel.

 

[Edilg]

New Ellisa clip. Nick still seething that Drex is a degenerate groomer.

 

[Neetorino]

He will NOT be inviting Vito.

That's fine, he'll still be inviting Dick, who will bring Vito AND Riley with him.