Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Checking in with the world's leading oncologist Charles Scalfani...

 

[The Early 2000s]

Checking in with the world's leading oncologist Charles Scalfani...

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Charles has an odd obsession about sugar's influence on cancer. There must've been massive lead poisoning going on in the Scalfani household, every single one of them came out retarded.

 

[AnOminous]

I will do actual green beans but roasted in the oven and then tossed in a bit of garlic butter afterwards or sometimes just with toasted almonds.

My roasted fresh bean is toss them in olive oil, broil at the highest possible temperature (preheated to 500 in the broiler) until they're hissing and spitting (which takes all of a minute or two), then toss again in a small amount of toasted sesame oil and then toss in sesame seeds. You can add ginger or soy to this or go heavier on the sesame oil although that's pretty intense and will smell up the house (with the delicious smell of sesame oil).

 

[SpiceyHuman]

That guy has an iron stomach.

But he'd take one look at it and say, "yeah this is pretty bad".


He actually did a freeze dried Thanksgiving dinner last year or something.


Suprisingly enough... a lot of people do.

I can honestly say that green bean casserole and candied yams are two things that I literally can't eat but so many people make them during Thanksgiving. It's frankly mystifying why they're so popular.

The yams and the green beans are actually my favorite sides, if they are done with fresh yams and fresh green beans prepared at home. Im not a fan of the mini marshmallows ontop either

That being said, there isnt anything inherently wrong with doing it from cans if thats all you have/can afford. It just sounds like Jack literally took a can of green beans, a can of soup, and dumped the fried onions ontop without really preparing either, seasoning them or adding other ingredients to make it more palatable. He always makes food as un appatizing as possible.

You can be poor and still enjoy good food. Jack just wants MOAR FOOD NAO

 

[She Brings The Rain]

Jack likes beer in chili but doesn’t drink beer because he doesn’t “like the taste”. His favorite beer to cook with is “La-Gween-tas”. He likes the “alcohol flavor” but says the alcohol cooks off in “seconds”.

What I wouldn't give to see alkie Jack. Most people I know that cook with booze say they like whatever notes or flavours the drinks claim to have, not specifically just the taste of alcohol.

 

[Super Hans v2]

What I wouldn't give to see alkie Jack. Most people I know that cook with booze say they like whatever notes or flavours the drinks claim to have, not specifically just the taste of alcohol.

What the hell even is 'the taste of alcohol'? Grain alcohol has no flavor, just an aura of pain.

 

[AnOminous]

What I wouldn't give to see alkie Jack. Most people I know that cook with booze say they like whatever notes or flavours the drinks claim to have, not specifically just the taste of alcohol.

There is no taste to alcohol other than "goddammit." Jack is an idiot. The taste you add to chili from beer or the taste you add to any other dish from wine or whiskey is the stuff that ISN'T alcohol, because that evaporates and cooks off.

What the hell even is 'the taste of alcohol'? Grain alcohol has no flavor, just an aura of pain.

We all know Jack drinks all that booze he puts in his sad concoctions. The "taste" of alcohol is he gets to pretend he is a tee-totaller while secretly sucking down not only the booze he puts in the dish, but what he saves behind to guzzle.

 

[bile demon]

there are also people who eat cornstarch.

People?

Spoiler

 

[Crex Crex]

Checking in with the world's leading oncologist Charles Scalfani...

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All cells eat sugar to survive, Jack. And sugar, in some form, is found in everything a human should eat in a balanced diet. If you wanted to "stop feeding cancer" by eliminating sugar, you would have to starve yourself to death.

 

[ZipDisk]

Cook it how you cook it

make salad with salad

make yams with yams

Make stuffing with stuffing

Make potatoes with...

I still feel like we were robbed of an R. Lee. Ermey style response to the SOLDIERMEAL

WHAT IN THE SAM FUCK IS THIS SLUDGE BUCKET? I AM PERSONALLY GOING TO BAYONET THAT FAT FUCK SCALFANI IN MINECRAFT! I'VE BEEN DEAD FOR FOUR FUCKING YEARS BUT THIS HAS ME RARING TO GO LIKE A TYRANOSAUR ON VIAGRA. I AM GOING TO SKULL FUCK SCALFANI IN MINECRAFT!

The proposed STEVEMRE cross is gold too.

"I don't know guys, he tried to bribe me with some 50-year-old camels from a secret ay-rab stash, but this food just isn't safe. Here it is on the tray, but this tray now has to go to the dump because the sludge is eating through it. Not nice."

I have only ever seen cranberry sauce disgustingly shit out of a can. The slurp lets you know not to eat it!

I also don't think I have ever enjoyed yams. Fleshy nasty tubers.

 

[Dondeld Dock]

GET YOUR JESUS SHIRTS

 

[Gulls on Film]

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GET YOUR JESUS SHIRTS

Will Jack be enough of a mad lad to slap his face or "CWJ" on a Jesus shirt?

 

[Lou's Sentient Backfat]

Will Jack be enough of a mad lad to slap his face or "CWJ" on a Jesus shirt?

You know he's narcissistic enough to do it. And with any luck he's so mushbrained from all the stroke is that no one will understand what the clothes are trying to say

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Steve is also a much better dog owner than Jack. I remember the video where Steve explained that he didn't want to give Scooter1989 any 46-year-old meat because he didn't want to make him sick. "Me, on the other hand..."

And that makes sense. It's not only mean to the doggo but if he gets sick, Steve would have to clean it up.

Besides, you don't abuse your pets. You treat them with love and respect.

Checking in with the world's leading oncologist Charles Scalfani...

View attachment 5487038

Sure he's right... for certain values of right. Cancer cells do eat sugar. But so do all other cells. It's the primary fuel we run on.

But as usual the Scalfatty Clan looks for trite, simple answers to rather complex subjects.

My roasted fresh bean is toss them in olive oil, broil at the highest possible temperature (preheated to 500 in the broiler) until they're hissing and spitting (which takes all of a minute or two), then toss again in a small amount of toasted sesame oil and then toss in sesame seeds. You can add ginger or soy to this or go heavier on the sesame oil although that's pretty intense and will smell up the house (with the delicious smell of sesame oil).

Interesting. Very Asian. I approve.

The yams and the green beans are actually my favorite sides, if they are done with fresh yams and fresh green beans prepared at home. Im not a fan of the mini marshmallows ontop either

That being said, there isnt anything inherently wrong with doing it from cans if thats all you have/can afford. It just sounds like Jack literally took a can of green beans, a can of soup, and dumped the fried onions ontop without really preparing either, seasoning them or adding other ingredients to make it more palatable. He always makes food as un appatizing as possible.

It's cool. I know people like those things because otherwise they wouldn't make them. But I just can't stand them.

The taste you add to chili from beer or the taste you add to any other dish from wine or whiskey is the stuff that ISN'T alcohol, because that evaporates and cooks off.

That's a myth. It doesn't or at least not completely. https://www.foodnetwork.com/how-to/...essentials/cooking-wine-does-alcohol-burn-off

Some of it cooks off but they've tested things like stews made with beer or wine and after simmering for literally hours a small amount of alcohol was still present. Sure you're looking at maybe 5% for the entire pot and you're only eating a bowl. But even with things you flambe, there is always still some alcohol left over in it.

But ultra religious types like Jagoff need to say that because otherwise people look at them because those Christian types think that alcohol is teh evul and taking any will turn you into a monster.

All cells eat sugar to survive, Jack. And sugar, in some form, is found in everything a human should eat in a balanced diet. If you wanted to "stop feeding cancer" by eliminating sugar, you would have to starve yourself to death.

Even the high protein diet he has means his cells are burning sugar. It just takes a much longer time to turn protein in to ATP. It is impossible for your cells NOT to burn sugar.

 

[TrainWreckSpotter]

He's PROUD of his wife putting a Lego centerpiece together.

When did adults stop being adults?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

He's PROUD of his wife putting a Lego centerpiece together.

View attachment 5488029

When did adults stop being adults?

It was beyond him so that's why he's proud his wife is so much smarter than him and has two working hands to put something a child could have put together.

And beyond that, it looks absolutely ridiculous. How much work would it honestly be to get some ornamental gourds, some stalks of wheat, a flower or two and assorted greenery to make a nice little centerpiece? And this plastic piece of shit cost them $50?

Also I will admit it looks a lot better on the box than what we see there.

 

[Tiresome]

When did adults stop being adults?

Arguably started with the boomers and just hasn't gotten better since.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

He's PROUD of his wife putting a Lego centerpiece together.

View attachment 5488029

When did adults stop being adults?

It was beyond him so that's why he's proud his wife is so much smarter than him and has two working hands to put something a child could have put together.

And beyond that, it looks absolutely ridiculous. How much work would it honestly be to get some ornamental gourds, some stalks of wheat, a flower or two and assorted greenery to make a nice little centerpiece? And this plastic piece of shit cost them $50?

Also I will admit it looks a lot better on the box than what we see there.

Jack fits the description of manbaby. Not just in how he acts, but how he "thinks." His brain is so mush that a simple "plug in" assembly is genuinely mind blowing to him, much like how his object permanence is much like a baby's now when it comes to him being confused where the fud he literally just ate went. Meanwhile the average 18 month old is clicking giant Lego bricks together no big deal.

Even plastic plants from Michaels would look better, and likely be cheaper too. But these are the Scalfanis. All they know is how to speedrun burning a hole in their wallet.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

https://youtu.be/PA1nI69gEcs?si=n6SHMYD8mM_gqtDF

You sure seemed to love Outback when you were there, Jack.

I'm on a shitty Android phone so my apologies as usual for posting links and attachments.

 

[Cask of Amontillado]

Apparently the bleeding chicken freaked the hell out of Guga and Chef Brian.