DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Bored Euro Trash]

He literally said he didn't like Orange Man yesterday.

Oh he said that, must be true then. I always forget that he has to this day never lied about anything, ever.
Especially since he would have nothing to gain from lying about that to his audience of retards and (allegedly) male-to-female-transitioning people, who no doubt vote republican.
And considering he has never flip-flopped on his opinions and gone back on his word, I just don't know what I was thinking when I said what I said.
After all, DSP is known to always look at the big picture instead of cherry-picking what benefits him the most exactly and only right now.
I'm truly sorry.

 

[myone]

He often has at least one month's full of catshit in his garage before he finally goes and takes it to the dump.

Which wouldn't even be that much if he scooped, but he likely just dumps the whole cat litter into a trash bag as soon as Jasper refuses to go on his toilet because it's full of shit.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Oh he said that, must be true then. I always forget that he has to this day never lied about anything, ever.
Especially since he would have nothing to gain from lying about that to his audience of retards and (allegedly) male-to-female-transitioning people, who no doubt vote republican.
And considering he has never flip-flopped on his opinions and gone back on his word, I just don't know what I was thinking when I said what I said.
After all, DSP is known to always look at the big picture instead of cherry-picking what benefits him the most exactly and only right now.
I'm truly sorry.

For years he consistently said he disliked Donald Trump and it all started because he allegedly didn't pay for a helicopter part back when he worked at the helicopter company or some bullshit but worthless niggercattle like you can't seem to accept that.

 

[BScCollateral]

If its not big deal why even mention it?

Dave cannot keep his fucking mouth shut. When you and would say "Well, that's annoying," he will shriek about worst game of the year and invite the publishers and game studios to suck the shit out of his ass. This is certainly the reason no reputable sponsor will touch him. He is so toxic I suspect game company media teams have conversations about legal action to keep him from streaming "our" games. He legitimately has no ability to listen to his own fucking mouth and think, "Hey, if I were CD Projekt Red, would I want to work with me?"
My money's on "Hysterical overreaction to minor incident" followed by "Shit, even I think I overreacted there."

EDIT: I wrote the above before reaching the point in the thread where the full horror of the crime was revealed. I claim a win.

 

[Corpun]

I really can't with this fucking asshole. Every retarded story displaying how isolated and socially retarded this cunt is he gets more punchable. No Phil, of course someone walked off with your UNPAID groceries. Of course they fucking did. It wasn't some employee thinking this was another retard who leaves their shit behind in a store (Which happens all the time, ask your fat fuck wife about it). Seriously, anyone who has ever worked at a grocery store for any amount of time will know that people leave product in the wrong aisles and abandon their entire cart.

I'm willing to be this fucking weirdo hermit went to self checkout, forgot to get his gout healing cherry juice, then left his shit AT SELF CHECKOUT because he is that type of entitled asshole. Why else would he not bring his cart of unpaid groceries with him? And this fucking asshole compares loosing unpaid-for groceries and his cheap reuseable bags like it's those stationary urban-style people robbing Walgreens and shit.

And somehow it's a chore shooping for groceries because shopping carts are 'fucked up' somehow and he needed to shop for more shit this week because of Thanksgiving, which makes no fucking sense. What friends and family are you hvaing over Phil? Are you sick and decrepit dying parents flying in? Your drug addict cousin who is a mule for the cartels? Your crackhead hooker sister-in-law? Jasper Kitty's 14 siblings? Or are you just such a massive fucking glutton you think groceries expire a week after purchase and throw everything unused in your fridge in one of the seven trash cans you have?

I'm sorry for ranting but I legit wanted to put a gun in this whiny faggot's mouth and pull the trigger hearing this fucking story.

 

[Heckler1]

Dave cannot keep his fucking mouth shut. When you and would say "Well, that's annoying," he will shriek about worst game of the year and invite the publishers and game studios to suck the shit out of his ass. This is certainly the reason no reputable sponsor will touch him. He is so toxic I suspect game company media teams have conversations about legal action to keep him from streaming "our" games. He legitimately has no ability to listen to his own fucking mouth and think, "Hey, if I were CD Projekt Red, would I want to work with me?"
My money's on "Hysterical overreaction to minor incident" followed by "Shit, even I think I overreacted there."

It's because Phil does not grow or experience more life due to being a weird shut-in hermit. So to generate content he can't tell stories about things that actually happen, so he is forced to Gollum ramble to his wheelchairs about mundane things he tries to spin as impressive. He doesn't want to change, so he won't

 

[BScCollateral]

Every other streamer in the world would probably use this event to poke a bit of fun at themselves. It's the perfectly innocuous story for a little bit of self deprecating humor, something Phil can't conceive of. He did nothing wrong, he did everything correct.

I'd love to see the Lost in the Pond guy go through this; he'd make it hilarious.
Andy Rooney's a bit of a meme, but his whistful observation that he wanted to be rich enough to throw soap away once the logo had been lathered off was great.

 

[LostMy1stAccount]

Mario RPG premiered on Friday, dumbass.
View attachment 5503346

Wait, why the fuck is he playing COD (a game that was already on the chopping block couple days ago) on the first stream?
Did some dent promise him some "positivity"?

 

[Vic Viper T301]

And somehow it's a chore shooping for groceries because shopping carts are 'fucked up' somehow and he needed to shop for more shit this week because of Thanksgiving, which makes no fucking sense. What friends and family are you hvaing over Phil? Are you sick and decrepit dying parents flying in? Your drug addict cousin who is a mule for the cartels? Your crackhead hooker sister-in-law? Jasper Kitty's 14 siblings? Or are you just such a massive fucking glutton you think groceries expire a week after purchase and throw everything unused in your fridge in one of the seven trash cans you have?

Not only does Phil have no one coming over for Thanksgiving, but his parents order him QVC food delivery. He even admitted that there would be "an interruption" to the stream yesterday because a second box of food was arriving and he'd have to waddle downstairs and collect it at some point. So no, he doesn't have to do extra shopping for Thanksgiving, but he's stupid enough to lie about it anyway.

Edit: @LostMy1stAccount

Wait, why the fuck is he playing COD (a game that was already on the chopping block couple days ago) on the first stream?
Did some dent promise him some "positivity"?

He claims that alottapeepul (so probably a confirmed whale) told him that they really really want to watch his action packed amazing CoD gameplay, but they can't watch it on the night stream, so he said he would move it to the day.

 

[Corpun]

Also re the Phil politics shit. DSP fence sits everything because he is a massive pussy about every opinion unless it's clear what way things are going. It's why he is totally fine with tranny shit and claims he always was. Phil isn't Republican or Democrat regardless of what his registry says and never liked Trump because hating Trump was and is popular on Twitter still. 100% of Phil's opinions come from retards online.

This man was 22 years old when he wrote this

He wrote all this shit on every site like he was a WWE star. Imagine being in the FGC back in the day with this asshole then seeing him in person being the biggest bitch around.

Edit: Holy fucking shit, besides how unhinged it is to demand someone reveal what they did on a trip, but this shows just how crime-obsessed and paranoid he is.

Phil. Eat a fucking glock please you paranoid weirdo asshole. The fact your dents stick around when you are so paranoid you belittle them for the thought you think they are a troll just for disagreeing with Herr Pigler is fucking insane.

 

[Artaius]

Don't know what everyone thinks about the Lolcow Podcast but imo that shit was dead on arrival and boring as fuck. Keemstar really, really wanted Phil on the card more than anyone else and somehow turned it down even when offered thousands in advance. Which made me think:

Is this another example of DSP outliving something?

How does he get away with it?

 

[NanoKnight]

We all know that no matter what Phil voted he'd get shit for it he won't want mentally ill mouth drooling morons looking into who he voted for either.

 

[Amanda Byrnes]

Don't know what everyone thinks about the Lolcow Podcast but imo that shit was dead on arrival and boring as fuck. Keemstar really, really wanted Phil on the card more than anyone else and somehow turned it down even when offered thousands in advance. Which made me think:

Is this another example of DSP outliving something?

How does he get away with it?

All I know is I can't wait for the three and a half hour Level 1 podcast where he brags about being "absolutely right" about the Lolcow Podcast failing without him and he does that smug grin of his as he dances on the ashes of Keem, Wings, and Boogie. Yo, Phil is gonna go UBERclown mode.

 

[Iron Hamster]

For full kahntext: https://www.seattle.gov/documents/Departments/Police/Reports/2022_SPD_CRIME_REPORT_FINAL.pdf

Not a paradise. Certainly does not match his hand graph. Should have stuck with the vehicle crime angle. At least there's evidence for that.

Someone needs to shop Phail's 'stolen tire' pic in where the police car is and spread it around like it's real.

Why is DSP such a bad storyteller?

It took him 15 minutes to get to the DAY he got robbed. Why do we need to know every detail of his shopping bags?

As he proves daily, he has no imagination.

So is there a good reason why he moved from the East coast to Seattle?

My theory, based on the Dent Sea Scrolls, was to get away from the inevitable beating he had coming.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

Why is DSP such a bad storyteller?

It took him 15 minutes to get to the DAY he got robbed. Why do we need to know every detail of his shopping bags?

Phil is taking hints from those 1-900 sex lines. He really should charge his dents $1.99/minute to hear his stories.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Mario RPG premiered on Friday, dumbass.
View attachment 5503346

So, for Thanksgiving weekend, Dave has one day of Thanksgiving food Tiermaker, followed by old consoomer ads reacts (mostly about food) the next day.

This is why he can never quit playing games.

 

[Bored Euro Trash]

All I know is I can't wait for the three and a half hour Level 1 podcast where he brags about being "absolutely right" about the Lolcow Podcast failing without him and he does that smug grin of his as he dances on the ashes of Keem, Wings, and Boogie. Yo, Phil is gonna go UBERclown mode.

This time it's deserved though.
Not deserved for DSP in the sense that he had this controversial opinion that turned out to be true, but deserved for Keem because it was a blatant attempt to create a cash cow (pun intended) off of the notariety of others.
Fuck Daniel Keem.

 

[Malcolm Tucker]

My Theotheory:

Dave is neither a Republican nor a Democrat.
The thing is, he gets all of his opinions off of Twitter because he has zero interactions with any people irl.
Everything.
So now that Musk took over the site there is less censorship on there and thus Dave sees more and more clips/posts about stationary people doing stationary things.
And this becomes his new reality.

Similar to him reading about one or two FGC dudes complaining about Mortal Kombat on Twitter and now in his mind "the whole FGC" has the same opinion.

Phil is just retarded. He moved to a state with no income tax and then complains that the state doesn't provide any services. He also hates paying taxes but wants free healthcare.

 

[King of Not Playing Games]

Mario RPG premiered on Friday, dumbass.
View attachment 5503346

He's still playing Starfield? He's still playing the main quest of Starfield?

Imagine how many more games he could discover and play if he didn't spend hours every day sitting on his ass talking on stream and pretending it's a podcast.

 

[DeeTracktor]

After thinking about it, Im honestly shocked Phil didnt blame his MomWife for the robbery of his re-useable shopping bags.