Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Piggle Rick]

Whipped cream has two ingredients. Heavy cream and sugar.

No offence intended bro, but whipped cream doesn’t contain sugar. It’s just cream. Whipped cream goes with things that are already sweet, like caramel tarts or pavlovas or fruit. If you’re adding sugar, you’re either using *extra sweetened whipped cream* to fix the taste of something awful, or just speedrunning diabetes.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

"Are you kidding? I can do that!"

*Instantly cuts to TamHam doing everything*

This guy is such a lazy cunt. He actually could do everything in this recipe by himself. It would just take more time and effort which fatty has a strong aversion to. Seriously tho, Jack should be striving to do more and more things by himself to regain independent function and nerve function (whatever is possible at this point). He is so comfortable placing all the burden on his family because he is "so busy" creating shitty merch.

Also he definitely had a choking episode after he cut the camera.

 

[Polska krowa]

Fun fact: this whole dish is ACTUALLY keto. What a subtle dig. (Actually I think the brown sugar and maple syrup probably take it out of that zone.)

Actually, it leans keto, so it'd be perfect for Jack. He'd love it, because it doesn't have that damn fake sugar that caused his last stroke!

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Because he's slowly dying, and even he is starting to sense it amidst his deterioration. Knowing it's going to be soon, it's leading him to question whether he's truly going to be let into the pearly gates, despite the repeated assurances he was given by Murderchurch. Sure, he said the correct prayers, held the correct beliefs, and hated the correct reprobates...but how can *he* be certain that St. Peter isn't going to laugh, call him a lukewarm phony (Rev. 3:15-16), and press the gallows door that drops him into the lake of fire to spend eternity getting raped by Satan? This then creates a feeling of insecurity, which is causing him to scramble to "get his ducks in order" for when the inevitable kerplunk happens. Jack likely thinks that this endeavor will build his credibility with the man upstairs, and put him on more favorable footing for when the time comes.

So yeah..."Let me into heaven, Jeebus! I madeded you a hat and shirt!" is what it boils down to.

Jack isn’t done suffering on earth yet.

He left in the 'and, cut' at the end lmao

In other news, I stumbled upon this Jack video: Jack Jr.'s Visit to the Dentist:

Main takeaway? Look how skinny Tammy Jr. was 5 years ago! That Scalfani Curse is a mean one!
Also you can suffer through Jr. faking his drowsiness for 12 minutes.

Wtf did they do to Tammy Junior? What a wholesome, adorable little thing. Why oh why did she marry the first doofus to court her? She can do so much better than Junior. It’s complacency not love Bri! Eject before you have kids with the fat gay gym equipment sniffing wigger!


Also, wtf is wrong with Tammy Sr’s hair? Does she add a tinge of purple and proceed to just not do anything with it? What a witch.


I’m also getting onion goggles vibes from Junior’s narcogas haze.

https://youtu.be/4WoT8i_xEnI?si=HhsDVt5PvqhS4FuD

 

[TheMovieGuy]

No offence intended bro, but whipped cream doesn’t contain sugar. It’s just cream. Whipped cream goes with things that are already sweet, like caramel tarts or pavlovas or fruit. If you’re adding sugar, you’re either using *extra sweetened whipped cream* to fix the taste of something awful, or just speedrunning diabetes.

In the states at least it's pretty common to add some sugar to whipped cream. Personally I don't add very much, just enough for a subtle sweetness, but its definitely not strange here.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

"HAPPY THANKSGIVING" STREAM (11/18/2023)

• Jack spends a while trying to screenshare the freeze-dried Skittles with mixed results. After this the stream quality has degraded considerably.
• "Everyone should try freeze-dried Skittles" Jack is also going to freeze-dry salsa and send it to his "friend".
• Jack's speech therapist says the right side of his vocal chords was paralyzed from the most recent stroke, which is the reason for his gurgly voice.
• F As In FRANK will be getting a new video "soon", maybe before the new year.
• Zoey is "big and strong, lot of muscles" - All the better to eat your dead arm with, my dear
• Upcoming Jack "Excellence In Food Content" Nominations:
  • A "recipe roulette" from the Dollywood Cookbook
  • An "AI recipe"
  • Reviewing Guy Fieri's frozen meals
  • Reviewing Gordon Ramsay's frozen meals
  • Reviewing a 7-11
• Jack is "really impressed" and "excited" by his "new Christian clothing" line
• $1.99 Donation - "PRAISE ALLAH. SAVE THE BELUGAS" - Jack seems a bit confused but thanks the user for the tip.
• Tammy is "going crazy" cleaning the house and blowing leaves outside.
• Jack wants way more "guest videos" and wants "everyone to do Jack On The Go". I'm not sure what this means.
• Jack thanks Rob for the coffee advent calendar.
• The new Hunger Games movie is "the best one" yet. "Really good". The Marvels is also "safe to watch" with no "political agendas".
• Jr. is off playing flag football with some underage boys. He's planning on deep-frying two turkeys for Thanksgiving this year.
• Rob chimes in with "It's a good day" Another users says to "JOIN THE ROB MOB" which goes uncommented by Jack.

This week's livestream barely hits the half-hour mark. Not sure if it's obvious from my updates but these are pretty tedious to sit through. Jack has a tendency to immediately get distracted when he starts talking about something, and he makes the same points from week to week without providing any real updates.

 

[Crispy Jakes]

When he said "what happened?" at the end of the video it's a 50/50 on whether he was trying to make a joke, or whether his brain started dying a blood death again and he didn't know where he was.

 

[Kosher Salt]

Of course he needs to call it "whipped cream" like the retard he is. Whipped cream has two ingredients. Heavy cream and sugar.

No, no, no. Whip cream so simple, it two ingredient. Just whip and cream.

Sorry, had to channel Uncle Roger there for a second.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

No offence intended bro, but whipped cream doesn’t contain sugar. It’s just cream. Whipped cream goes with things that are already sweet, like caramel tarts or pavlovas or fruit. If you’re adding sugar, you’re either using *extra sweetened whipped cream* to fix the taste of something awful, or just speedrunning diabetes.

Or you just don't add as much sugar to the dishes you're serving it with. But the point remains, what Jagoff was using wasn't whipped cream.

In other news, I stumbled upon this Jack video: Jack Jr.'s Visit to the Dentist:

Main takeaway? Look how skinny Tammy Jr. was 5 years ago! That Scalfani Curse is a mean one!
Also you can suffer through Jr. faking his drowsiness for 12 minutes.

How much of a faggot do you have to be to record that? Jr is out of it and sure he might be playing it up but he's still kinda zonked on that stuff. I know that if my parents did that to me and posted it online I'd disown them.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Whipped cream is great and easy to make. Whipped cream + sugar and flavor is also great, it's called chantilly in French cuisine. It's really good if you add a bit of Gran Marnier or Cointreau with the sugar, just enough to give it a subtle orange flavor that goes really well with chocolate pies or cakes.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Whipped cream is great and easy to make. Whipped cream + sugar and flavor is also great, it's called chantilly in French cuisine. It's really good if you add a bit of Gran Marnier or Cointreau with the sugar, just enough to give it a subtle orange flavor that goes really well with chocolate pies or cakes.

A stabilized version involves whipping some mascarpone into it as well.

 

[Comma]

"HAPPY THANKSGIVING" STREAM (11/18/2023)

I went to check out the recorded stream, and this is what you're greeted with directly after pressing play:

 

[TheMovieGuy]

I went to check out the recorded stream, and this is what you're greeted with directly after pressing play:

View attachment 5504129

The wendigo is trying to abandon ship

 

[SpiceyHuman]

I went to check out the recorded stream, and this is what you're greeted with directly after pressing play:

View attachment 5504129

Why does God hate us?

 

[Super Hans v2]

Why does God hate us?

You misunderstand, God loves you so much He's giving an example of what happens if you abandon Him.

 

[Enig]

Came to a disturbing realization concerning that party salad today. The reason it uses lime Jello isn't a flavor thing, it's a retarded substitution "his aunt" did because celery flavor Jello was discontinued and Jack in a fat aunt suit she was too lazy to use celery juice and plain gelatin or was too autistic about needing the extra green coloring in it. Now I wonder how it fares with celery flavored gelatin instead, still a horrible cheese jelly mess but it probably tastes far better.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

When Jack dies, they’re going to need a forklift to carry his XL coffin out the church.
Jesus Christ, it’s like he’s determined to get his weight as large as possible before he inevitably goes.

 

[anliteralidiot]

When Jack dies, they’re going to need a forklift to carry his XL coffin out the church.
Jesus Christ, it’s like he’s determined to get his weight as large as possible before he inevitably goes.

I already made this joke in FoodieBeauty's thread, but they should do this with Jack.

 

[Adamska]

Jack wants way more "guest videos" and wants "everyone to do Jack On The Go". I'm not sure what this means.

Simple: he wants to have other people do the show completely for him so he can suckle on the Narc Supply without doing any work.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Simple: he wants to have other people do the show completely for him so he can suckle on the Narc Supply without doing any work.

Jack on the Go, Starring: Jamal

Dude would probably find better foods and have better commentary on them.