Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[zyclonPD]

Did we know that Nick is missing teeth? That gap on the left side of his bottom chompers is pretty prominent, unlike his career as a non-practicing lawyer.

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"Gum disease, tooth decay, and mouth sores are all much more likely for heavy drinkers, and alcohol abuse is the second most common risk factor for oral cancer."

https://www.healthline.com/health/dental-and-oral-health/what-does-alcohol-do-to-your-teeth

 

[zimzam88]

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Oye Nick is on a roll today lol he's definitely not drinking and popping a pill right now

What Nick is saying here is that his gray matter cannot be reversed and that its too late. The idiot on twitter is still optimistic that Nick can pull up.

 

[Neetorino]

I can only imagine how difficult it would be to explain Balldo, Juju the Cow, and their fat pedophile friend to a normie. Will we one day get a Geno style six hundred hour documentary of them?

I actually did try to explain Nick to one of my relatives as "an alcoholic in denial" when we were all lounging around after Thanksgiving dinner.
I'd made a small joke to my girlfriend that it was amazing how nobody managed to spill a single drop of wine from the bottles that were opened up, and that the table was marvelously clean from wine stains. Then I was asked what was so funny, and explained how an "e-celeb streamer" I followed is a hard drinker who licks his whiskey bottles and copes about not spilling a drop this way. My relative grabbed one of the wine bottles by the neck and tried to figure out how one spills just over a lip and why you'd have to lick the bottle to stop it. I then mimed how he does it, and the look of horror I got back was all I needed.
"Sounds like he needs some help"

But man it was tough just getting them to understand why people were interested in gossping about some Internet Alcoholic, I can't imagine trying to delve into all the other bullshit.

EDIT:

I was surprised by Nick’s revelation that he’s consciously structured his daily caloric intake to allow maximum liquor. I wasn’t surprised he’s doing that, but that he admitted to it while simultaneously claiming he’s just a “social drinker” and not an alcoholic. I would have expected him to be a bit more stealthy, shall we say.

Holy fuck he admitted to it! I can't remember when it came up in the thread but wasn't this the speculation made about why he was losing so much weight? He's literally drinking a ton of his calories, FanFic Farms wins again!
What a fucking drunk troglodyte.

 

[BlaireWhitesBottom2]

What a pathetic wreck.

He really thinks he has the high ground on his petty rivalry towards Null.

Null could fight Charlie Manson himself and Id still help Null

I’m not married but I just know if I had a wife they’d really love it when I stream to all my fans repeat drunken rants about how pregnancy absolutely wrecked her body but that’s okay because I’m standing up for her. Granted her body was absolutely destroyed but babe look at how I talk about how I’m with you to all these people, also your body is ruined. That tight firm body just gone, but I’m still with you babe kisses!

*sips*

at the end of the day she picked him.

 

[Pomniman]

at the end of the day she picked him.

And chooses to stay with him every day. You can say she's stuck because of the kids or because he has money but it's still a choice and if she really hated the balldo lifestyle so much she'd have divorced him by now.

 

[Mordecai "3 Finger" Brown]

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No stalker child I will not be making up with Josh Moon, he doesn't wear the balldo and never will. Sad!

Is this the first explicit confirmation from Nick that Josh is no longer welcome on his show in as many words?

KF has assumed this fact since Josh revealed the info about the aimless, meandering midnight shower calls. And when Nick then began to regularly seethe about Josh and KF unsolicitedly on both the night show and on Locals streams.

I'm sure his remaining audience doesn't care because they are either low-info morons or have been groomed to hate the Farms.

But I can't personally recall Nick expressly stating previously that Null had joined Legal Mindset on the ban list even if it was obvious and implied.

This year has been a Rollercoaster. Life comes at you all sorts of ways.

In addition to everything else, I'm so tired of his cryptic, boilerplate fortune cookie wisdom.

He's always lamenting how stressed and drained he is by some daytime offscreen oppressive forces but never elaborates on shit beyond vague allusions to prude in-laws and churchgoers.

 

[LurkTrawl]

Did we know that Nick is missing teeth? That gap on the left side of his bottom chompers is pretty prominent, unlike his career as a non-practicing lawyer.

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Looks like a still image from a porno made in the 80's.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

In addition to everything else, I'm so tired of his cryptic, boilerplate fortune cookie wisdom.

He's always lamenting how stressed and drained he is by some daytime offscreen oppressive forces but never elaborates on shit beyond vague allusions to prude in-laws and churchgoers.

While simultaneously claiming that he’s uncompromising in his principles and fearless when it comes to calling people out…while always being careful never to name names or give any details whatsoever.

Nick talks like a junior high school girl on LiveJournal circa 2002. There’s no way Kayla is attracted to his girly ass anymore.

 

[huckbeine]

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Oye Nick is on a roll today lol he's definitely not drinking and popping a pill right now

well he is a lawyer, so his argument is probably, he is not drinking and popping pills at the same time, so technically he is not doing pills and alcohol. checkmate karen farms.

 

[RotPockets]

What Nick is saying here is that his gray matter cannot be reversed and that it’s too late. The idiot on twitter is still optimistic that Nick can pull up.

Nick has “wet brain”, and that’s a good thing.

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

Nick is always complaining about something. How things are rough, how stressed he is, etc. Pretty soon, people start to tune out and even unsubscribe because they’re there, ultimately, for entertainment. I’m also sure increasingly begrudged listeners don’t want to pay a rich man for dropping his problems in their lap. He really sounds like a boy crying wolf as he goes on vacations and speeds around in his Mustang.

But I’m a fair woman; if Nick had bottled some of this personal stuff up from the audience (pun intended), THEN ultimately came clean only once or twice, i.e., “Guys, I‘m having it rough right now, I apologize if this is affecting the quality of my shows, my family takes precedence, etc.”, I’d imagine no one would take issue with that. I wouldn’t. In fact, it would be a good teaching opportunity for Old Nick to let men know that it’s OK for them to have emotional health days, to keep them balanced and focused. He was once handing out white pills to guys, remember? And it wasn’t modafinil or roofies…

If Nick is truly having a rough go of it, then I hope he comes out on the other end. I want nothing but peace, health, and happiness for his family. He can start by cutting out Diddler Dax out of the picture.

Still making fun of the Balldo, though.

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

Has Jimothy Metokur seen Rekieta’s nosedive, yet? He knew about the Balldo, but has he seen Nick not spill a drop?

Also, I really want to see Nick spill his drink on camera to see if he freaks out and has a bitch fit or tries to covertly lick it up on camera. He’s at that stage where I could see it.

 

[AnOminous]

Nick’s alcohol-catalyzed aging makes me think he’s older than he is. I almost forgot that his 9/11 was getting his transformer doll taken away by a kindergarten teacher.

It's like he's borrowing traits from every lolcow to turn into some kind of cow Voltron. Because DSP also bitches about not getting given a Wolverine doll 30 years or so ago. Tomlinson has to respond to every troll. EVERY cow denies being angry while twitching and seething.

Pretty soon, people start to tune out and even unsubscribe because they’re there, ultimately, for entertainment.

Leaving him with EXACTLY the viewership he deserves, i.e. people who are laughing AT him and people who actively hate him.

well he is a lawyer, so his argument is probably, he is not drinking and popping pills at the same time, so technically he is not doing pills and alcohol. checkmate karen farms.

So what's he washing the pills down with? Water? Pshaw.

Checkmate atheists.

Nick has “wet brain”, and that’s a good thing.

One major thing with Wernicke-Korsakoff is confabulation. People with it aren't necessarily mumbling idiots, so they can fluidly invent stories to fill for the gaps in their memory. He might literally not even remember shit he said ten minutes ago. Or it could be just normal blackout drinking where while as drunk as he usually is, he just can't lay down new memories, but WK is permanent. You can stop it from getting worse, but it never gets better.

I think he has a ways to go before getting there.

 

[thebigdream]

Has Jimothy Metokur seen Rekieta’s nosedive, yet?

Has anyone asked what Ja Rule thinks too?

 

[ChromaQuack]

Has anyone asked what Ja Rule thinks too?

I've asked Donald Trump to tweet about #Balldogate.

 

[skol]

Of course Nick is stressed and tired-looking. Imagine fighting a hangover every day.

 

[No Scope]

Also, I really want to see Nick spill his drink on camera to see if he freaks out and has a bitch fit or tries to covertly lick it up on camera. He’s at that stage where I could see it.

The closest thing I can offer you is this Vegas short clip by @elb If I remember correctly, he went to Vegas after buying his Crustang and returned just before the deadline where he went to visit Schneider at his office about the lolsuit.

Party Foul! @RekietaLaw drops his bottle of whiskey (AGAIN w/laughing emoji)​

EDITED: Additional context added.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

Of course Nick is stressed and tired-looking. Imagine fighting a hangover every day.

If he's drinking 1k cals worth of whiskey, that's what, 10 shots roughly? That's not enough to get a hangover. That is, assuming hangovers exist at all.

 

[Neetorino]

If he's drinking 1k cals worth of whiskey, that's what, 10 shots roughly? That's not enough to get a hangover. That is, assuming hangovers exist at all.

I am curious how many shots he takes in an average week. No reason in particular, it just sounds interesting to learn.
I will say, if he averages 5 a night that'll hit a rough 500cal/day which is probably a fifth of his recommended. Obviously that's with rough numbers for Nick's weight and being generous saying he's mildly active. (He is 6'3" right? For some reason that's where I remember him being.)

Calorie calculator

Calculate the number of calories you need a day to maintain your weight.

www.mayoclinic.org

Obviously we can't know how many drinks he has off camera throughout the day, but it'd be interesting to run the numbers on what we do know.

 

[KingofSomething]

But at the end, that someone criticized Nick too. So Nick coped and seethed.

Old Nick fans: You've changed a bit Nick. We don't like it.
Nick: *Puts on balldo* *Licks bottle while visibly drunk* I've always been like this

I mean if that's the shit you want to present to people.