Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Piggle Rick]

When are we going to disgust how awful USA bread is? It’s like a shitty cake compared to what I’ve had o/s.

 

[._.]

If Jack actually left the house, he was dropped off at a Dennys with 50 bucks.

Hes buck hunting for Tammys new boyfriend.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

When are we going to disgust how awful USA bread is? It’s like a shitty cake compared to what I’ve had o/s.

Once the cheese debate is settled

 

[Falcon Sebben]

When are we going to disgust how awful USA bread is? It’s like a shitty cake compared to what I’ve had o/s.

Jagoff doesn't eat bread. Except when he totally does. And then says he wants to use King Hawaiian rolls for a sweeter stuffing.

Commercial bread here sucks. Real bread can be found at good bakeries or just make it yourself. Google "No Knead Bread". Four ingredients and all you really need is a long rise, usually overnight and a Dutch Oven to bake it in. And once you do it, you'll never go back to anything else.

 

[Whaler]

When are we going to disgust how awful USA bread is? It’s like a shitty cake compared to what I’ve had o/s.

It's all the sugar that gets put in for some reason, it's the one of the reasons why I make my own bread.

 

[Piggle Rick]

Jagoff doesn't eat bread. Except when he totally does. And then says he wants to use King Hawaiian rolls for a sweeter stuffing.

Commercial bread here sucks. Real bread can be found at good bakeries or just make it yourself. Google "No Knead Bread". Four ingredients and all you really need is a long rise, usually overnight and a Dutch Oven to bake it in. And once you do it, you'll never go back to anything else.

That is exactly why we make our own bread. It definitely tastes much more like we had when we travelled.

 

[p1138]

When are we going to disgust how awful USA bread is? It’s like a shitty cake compared to what I’ve had o/s.

Don't buy the shittiest mass produced pre-packaged processed version at the supermarket. Unless you live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, or an area where the local rioters have chased off every small business, you can find decent bread at a local bakery(just don't go to an asian bakery for bread, unless you're specifically after desserts... shit's even more like a cake might as well put frosting on it).

Cheese on the other hand, need to be in a region where dairies and such exist or you've probably got a smaller local market importing stuff from out of state/overseas, or you're having to buy from the places that ship with cold packs(there's a place in new england I buy cheddar from on occasion, fuck wisconsin and their overpriced bullshit, but that's a different topic entirely).

 

[Piggle Rick]

Don't buy the shittiest mass produced pre-packaged processed version at the supermarket. Unless you live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, or an area where the local rioters have chased off every small business, you can find decent bread at a local bakery(just don't go to an asian bakery for bread, unless you're specifically after desserts... shit's even more like a cake might as well put frosting on it).

Cheese on the other hand, need to be in a region where dairies and such exist or you've probably got a smaller local market importing stuff from out of state/overseas, or you're having to buy from the places that ship with cold packs(there's a place in new england I buy cheddar from on occasion, fuck wisconsin and their overpriced bullshit, but that's a different topic entirely).

Bro I just said I’m not buying it, but it annoys me that it’s not a decent option if we both got sick or whatever.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

This was a terrible attempt, but I got you.

Spoiler: Emoji Art

ETA: A hunting update, seems he’s still alive.

View attachment 5521798

I just wanna say that the mic drop bitmoji makes me absolutely MATI. Introducing boomers to emojis was like introducing seawater to New Orleans.

 

[p1138]

Bro I just said I’m not buying it, but it annoys me that it’s not a decent option if we both got sick or whatever.

Read the rest of what I said. Real bread exists in the US, it's just not where probably 99% of people get their bread from.

 

[Major]

Jack must have had no internet access in the woods yesterday. He’s online sperging again.

I wonder how he survived without eating for several hours. He must have been insufferable to be around.

View attachment 5522745

View attachment 5522744

Does he realise that burger buns count as carbohydrates (i.e. sugar)?

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Does he realise that burger buns count as carbohydrates (i.e. sugar)?

Given that Jack thinks that one can "lean" keto while on keto, I will say no. That or he doesn't give a shit if he even remembers the concept of a carbohydrate for longer than five seconds. Which still means no.

 

[p1138]

Does he realise that burger buns count as carbohydrates (i.e. sugar)?

God no. He just knows that bread isn't one of his four food groups. This is why he tries to eat burgers in a stupid way specifically to avoid bread.

And as far as keto, this is the same idiot that whined about crumbl cookies not having the flavor he wanted when he was in the prime of his "KETO!!!" stint. Of course keto also doesn't mean eating 6000 calories a day, mostly of meat and grease, and then proceeding to spend as much time as possible not moving so he can watch blues clues.

 

[Tiresome]

If Jack actually made it out of the truck at hunting time and if he was wearing blaze orange like he should, I'm sure our friends in North Carolina were more than a little startled at what seems to be the sun rising in the west.

 

[indomitable snowman]

That literally looks like what AI would output if you typed in "turkey dinner packed with cow shit".

I tried variations and got blocked prompts. I didn't push the issue since I don't want to get banned. So here's the interpretation of his party cheese salad. I think the AI really started to capture the wendigo demon in some of them.

Spoiler: enter at your own risk

God no. He just knows that bread isn't one of his four food groups. This is why he tries to eat burgers in a stupid way specifically to avoid bread.

And as far as keto, this is the same idiot that whined about crumbl cookies not having the flavor he wanted when he was in the prime of his "KETO!!!" stint. Of course keto also doesn't mean eating 6000 calories a day, mostly of meat and grease, and then proceeding to spend as much time as possible not moving so he can watch blues clues.

Everything about his eating is just revolting. His prehensile tonging of the food, his gigantic bites, his licking of the hand, and his speaking while still chewing all combine to make the most shocking things ever put to youtube.

 

[lindsayfan]

95% of american food is poison. that's just the awful reality. the produce sucks, the meat you didn't kill or raise yourself is bad, everything's bad. i lived in the u.s. south most of my life and it wasn't easy for me to learn and accept that we were basically the plebs in that "snowpiercer" movie who get fed the cockroach slurry. unemployed people in whatever kazakh backwater null's consigned to probably still get daily nutrition superior to the average american middle-class.

I tried variations and got blocked prompts. I didn't push the issue since I don't want to get banned. So here's the interpretation of his party cheese salad. I think the AI really started to capture the wendigo demon in some of them.

the praline apron is so weirdly appropriate

I just wanna say that the mic drop bitmoji makes me absolutely MATI.

...is it really worse than this super-smug one he uses all the time?

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Don't buy the shittiest mass produced pre-packaged processed version at the supermarket. Unless you live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, or an area where the local rioters have chased off every small business, you can find decent bread at a local bakery(just don't go to an asian bakery for bread, unless you're specifically after desserts... shit's even more like a cake might as well put frosting on it).

Cheese on the other hand, need to be in a region where dairies and such exist or you've probably got a smaller local market importing stuff from out of state/overseas, or you're having to buy from the places that ship with cold packs(there's a place in new england I buy cheddar from on occasion, fuck wisconsin and their overpriced bullshit, but that's a different topic entirely).

Grafton Villiage Cheese out of Vermont would be my suggestion without getting too niche,

Mike Rowe did a dirty jobs episode there. While I’ve had better, but it’s very good and consistent. Available in various aged states and sharpness.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Commercial bread here sucks. Real bread can be found at good bakeries or just make it yourself.

Jack himself "leans keto," but Jack-type consumers are a boon for the secondary breadmaker market. They're inexpensive new, if you look around, but there are a ton of unused or barely-used breadmakers at thrift stores, bought as gifts or as this-time-for-real life changing decisions.

Nothing like doing all the kneading and proofing yourself, but y'know, work, and sometimes you mess up your shoulder. Breadmakers don't even have to live in on the kitchen counter, just put it somewhere stable with an outlet and set the timer so the bread is done right when you're getting up. That way it does double duty as a room freshener.

Everything about his eating is just revolting. His prehensile tonging of the food, his gigantic bites, his licking of the hand, and his speaking while still chewing all combine to make the most shocking things ever put to youtube.

Does Jack take suggestions for recipes to try? [archive]

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

I tried variations and got blocked prompts. I didn't push the issue since I don't want to get banned. So here's the interpretation of his party cheese salad. I think the AI really started to capture the wendigo demon in some of them.

Spoiler: enter at your own risk

View attachment 5523642View attachment 5523643View attachment 5523644View attachment 5523645View attachment 5523646
[/SPOILE


Everything about his eating is just revolting. His prehensile tonging of the food, his gigantic bites, his licking of the hand, and his speaking while still chewing all combine to make the most shocking things ever put to youtube.

It’s like you have a special magical camera that can capture pictures of the demon that inhabits their body. It’s like a twilight zone episode.

Read the rest of what I said. Real bread exists in the US, it's just not where probably 99% of people get their bread from.

Arnold or Dave’s Killer Bread are both decent pre-sliced sandwich breads that you can get at most grocery stores. Sarah Lee surprisingly makes decent bread as well.

They are still loaded up with things to keep them fresh and not get stale instantly, but compared to wonderbread, sunbeam, hostess, etc, they are excellent. But they do cost significantly more. To us it’s worth it. Most commercial breads out there are full of things that will cause you to have digestive inflammation.

Jack himself "leans keto," but Jack-type consumers are a boon for the secondary breadmaker market. They're inexpensive new, if you look around, but there are a ton of unused or barely-used breadmakers at thrift stores, bought as gifts or as this-time-for-real life changing decisions.

Nothing like doing all the kneading and proofing yourself, but y'know, work, and sometimes you mess up your shoulder. Breadmakers don't even have to live in on the kitchen counter, just put it somewhere stable with an outlet and set the timer so the bread is done right when you're getting up. That way it does double duty as a room freshener.

Does Jack take suggestions for recipes to try? [archive]

View attachment 5523807

Many times Jack has claimed that he was going to take suggestions. But like everything else, he never really does. Then he makes up “many people have been asking me to make popular thing” but it’s always something nobody asked him to make.

 

[curbside2]

Quick reminder that Jack is a devout follower of Pastor Maury Davis. Maury Davis beheaded a 54-year old Sunday school teacher:

It must be hard to watch the man who murdered your mother 30 years ago sermonize about the godly life. Ron Liles watches him gesticulate and stroll across a stage, not from a pew, but on his computer screen in suburban Dallas, some 700 miles away from the church in Madison, Tenn., where the preacher tells this story of profound redemption.

Liles was the only child of parents who struggled to stay afloat, losing his mother to a senseless murder remarkable only for its viciousness. Now he's an unassuming pharmacist working the graveyard shift at a CVS in Texas, left to wear the garments of raw anger and heartbreak, which aren't easily shed.

Pastor Davis says he's been forgiven for his sins. Washed in the blood, you might say.

To make matters worse Maury Davis spends a good portion of his sermons preaching about Zion and Zionism. He's a mega pastor unironically propped up by the Jewish. Feel however you want about that. But as a Christian myself there is something ultra-cucked about "worshiping" at glorified pro-Israel psyop every Sunday.