Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Taxidermied Rat]

Okay, Ive seen most of the women here say socializing is the only way and its been pretty informative. Heres the catch and Im gonna power level a bit here

Finding a wife through socialization/natural means is generally better since

1. you get an idea of what this person is like when not in a relationship which is useful for avoiding crazy women
2. You are more likely to meet someone who shares your interests/hobbies. Which is useful for when you and your wife no longer have sex to connect you.(though avoiding sex before marriage can help with this as well)

Other people have already given you ideas for naturally finding someone, but that might now work for your lifestyle. As you detail in your initial post you are quite isolated.
So I would recommend giving match making a try. You said you’re old fashioned and assuming you’re interested in marriage and not just hooking up, match making can be a good way to find a lady who is also looking to get married.
Otherwise there are various in person dating events(just look it up on google to find things in your area) you could attend as well. But that would require more effort on your part to share your interests to stand out and attract someone.

 

[Thief of Tables]

Earlier in the thread a poster was talking about an "uncanny valley" effect when they see a mismatch of looks and personality. Is this actually a thing that people notice or think about? People don't seem to want to approach me or talk to me for long and I always thought it was because I'm a social retard (which is probably true regardless). I'm pretty tall and in good shape, but I've always been quiet and never had confidence cause I was fat growing up. I lost a lot of weight in my late teens and picked up more active hobbies like working out, cycling, hiking, martial arts, and yoga in my 20s, but I'm still just as quiet, shy, and socially anxious as I always was.

I don't know if it's related, but I've had a few people in my college social circles tell me they thought I hated them until we actually had a conversation at some party or event. I didn't think much about that until the third person said that to me. I always try to be nice and friendly to people, so don't know what I could be doing that's so off-putting.

 

[TyrasGuard]

For the love of God, someone explain perfume to me. They all smell similar to me unless it has more alcohol (Which I've been told it is a good way to know which ones are shitty)

I have no idea what the fuck to pick, they all smell nice.

 

[Big Miss Steak]

For the love of God, someone explain perfume to me. They all smell similar to me unless it has more alcohol (Which I've been told it is a good way to know which ones are shitty)

I have no idea what the fuck to pick, they all smell nice.

Are you a man looking to buy for your woman, or a woman looking to buy for yourself?

 

[TyrasGuard]

Are you a man looking to buy for your woman, or a woman looking to buy for yourself?

Man looking to buy for my woman.

 

[Big Miss Steak]

Man looking to buy for my woman.

Find out what perfume(s) she likes and look it up on this site. Identify the main notes and look for similar scents. Not foolproof but can work pretty well.

Here's an example of a scent profile: https://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Kenneth-Cole/White-for-Her-39357.html

Edit to add: Look for something that is similar but not the same

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

Earlier in the thread a poster was talking about an "uncanny valley" effect when they see a mismatch of looks and personality. Is this actually a thing that people notice or think about? People don't seem to want to approach me or talk to me for long and I always thought it was because I'm a social retard (which is probably true regardless). I'm pretty tall and in good shape, but I've always been quiet and never had confidence cause I was fat growing up. I lost a lot of weight in my late teens and picked up more active hobbies like working out, cycling, hiking, martial arts, and yoga in my 20s, but I'm still just as quiet, shy, and socially anxious as I always was.

I don't know if it's related, but I've had a few people in my college social circles tell me they thought I hated them until we actually had a conversation at some party or event. I didn't think much about that until the third person said that to me. I always try to be nice and friendly to people, so don't know what I could be doing that's so off-putting.

Try to catch a look in a mirror of how you hold yourself and your typical resting face. You may find that your posture or facial expression aren't particularly inviting.

 

[dvnc]

I have no idea what the fuck to pick, they all smell nice.

What scents does she normally wear? If you know, then pick based off of that. When all is lost, ask the lady at the counter.

 

[Black Hole Vacation]

Earlier in the thread a poster was talking about an "uncanny valley" effect when they see a mismatch of looks and personality. Is this actually a thing that people notice or think about? People don't seem to want to approach me or talk to me for long and I always thought it was because I'm a social retard (which is probably true regardless). I'm pretty tall and in good shape, but I've always been quiet and never had confidence cause I was fat growing up. I lost a lot of weight in my late teens and picked up more active hobbies like working out, cycling, hiking, martial arts, and yoga in my 20s, but I'm still just as quiet, shy, and socially anxious as I always was.

I don't know if it's related, but I've had a few people in my college social circles tell me they thought I hated them until we actually had a conversation at some party or event. I didn't think much about that until the third person said that to me. I always try to be nice and friendly to people, so don't know what I could be doing that's so off-putting.

Sounds like you have a case of resting bitch face. I think most people would see you and assume you were having a bad day or that you were lost in thought which might be why they won't approach you. Ultimately it sounds like an anxiety problem, better for you to focus on why you feel that way rather than trying to bandaid over this one manifestation that you don't like.

 

[Booby Jones]

Will women like me if I show up to our first date in my Hold It Together hoodie?

 

[Unsane]

Man looking to buy for my woman.

I actually bought a wife - no kidding.

No trading of goats, donkeys or camels were involved, just hard cash and we're well into double digits. It's a jungle out there.

 

[Vi0l3t]

For the love of God, someone explain perfume to me. They all smell similar to me unless it has more alcohol (Which I've been told it is a good way to know which ones are shitty)

I have no idea what the fuck to pick, they all smell nice.

Perfumes for women tend to be sweeter. Flowers, candy, sweet foods, fruits. Not all just a vast majority. Most women tend to prefer specific smells and brands so honestly it just depends on the person.

Earlier in the thread a poster was talking about an "uncanny valley" effect when they see a mismatch of looks and personality. Is this actually a thing that people notice or think about? People don't seem to want to approach me or talk to me for long and I always thought it was because I'm a social retard (which is probably true regardless). I'm pretty tall and in good shape, but I've always been quiet and never had confidence cause I was fat growing up. I lost a lot of weight in my late teens and picked up more active hobbies like working out, cycling, hiking, martial arts, and yoga in my 20s, but I'm still just as quiet, shy, and socially anxious as I always was.

I don't know if it's related, but I've had a few people in my college social circles tell me they thought I hated them until we actually had a conversation at some party or event. I didn't think much about that until the third person said that to me. I always try to be nice and friendly to people, so don't know what I could be doing that's so off-putting.

Smiling and waving are a simple way to break the ice without talking first. Also you seem introverted maybe? Extroverts always think your mad or rude for being quieter. Can be very annoying.

 

[Fareal]

Man looking to buy for my woman.

Don’t, don’t, don’t. Men have significantly poorer senses of smell than women, and without her being able to,try to it on, you don’t know how it will react with her body chemistry. Perfume reacts differently on different people and the same one can smell perf on one person and boufing on another. Also, if you genuinely think they all smell the same, you clearly have not been able to pick up on the scent notes she’s attracted to and tends to prefer.

Look, just buy her chocolates.

 

[Shidoen]

Earlier in the thread a poster was talking about an "uncanny valley" effect when they see a mismatch of looks and personality. Is this actually a thing that people notice or think about? People don't seem to want to approach me or talk to me for long and I always thought it was because I'm a social retard (which is probably true regardless). I'm pretty tall and in good shape, but I've always been quiet and never had confidence cause I was fat growing up. I lost a lot of weight in my late teens and picked up more active hobbies like working out, cycling, hiking, martial arts, and yoga in my 20s, but I'm still just as quiet, shy, and socially anxious as I always was.

I don't know if it's related, but I've had a few people in my college social circles tell me they thought I hated them until we actually had a conversation at some party or event. I didn't think much about that until the third person said that to me. I always try to be nice and friendly to people, so don't know what I could be doing that's so off-putting.

I'm in the same boat as you but I was told it was because how my face looked. I still have the fatty face but the weight of my brow always made me look like I was frowning. Maybe you have something like that too but I felt the same way of growing up fat and losing it and then being quiet and shy. Then again people just say i'm scary looking, has anyone said the same thing to you too?

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

Man looking to buy for my woman.

Give her a gift card and tell her to enjoy.

 

[Catler]

Just hit the town on a Friday nerds. You don't even have to drink.

Do be that guy. If you're gonna go out you should get absolutely fucked, make bad choices, have fun, and not remember it the next day.

Heck most of my fellow men on KF could probably do with the low inhibitions and increased confidence alcohol provides.

We really should think about setting up a Kiwi Dating thread.

"You don't have to be lonely at kiwifarmersonly.com"

 

[Thief of Tables]

Sounds like you have a case of resting bitch face. I think most people would see you and assume you were having a bad day or that you were lost in thought which might be why they won't approach you. Ultimately it sounds like an anxiety problem, better for you to focus on why you feel that way rather than trying to bandaid over this one manifestation that you don't like.

Yeah you're probably right, I overthink a lot.

Also you seem introverted maybe? Extroverts always think your mad or rude for being quieter. Can be very annoying.

Pretty much. I try not to blame other people for these problems though cause it's pretty consistent among different groups.

I'm in the same boat as you but I was told it was because how my face looked. I still have the fatty face but the weight of my brow always made me look like I was frowning. Maybe you have something like that too but I felt the same way of growing up fat and losing it and then being quiet and shy. Then again people just say i'm scary looking, has anyone said the same thing to you too?

It's rough out there for the fat kids. I havne't heard scary, but I had one person tell me I looked intimidating.

 

[Black Hole Vacation]

Yeah you're probably right, I overthink a lot.

Don't feel too bad. "Former fat kid has social anxiety" is a common stereotype for a reason. You're already well active which is a good sign, focus on doing some emotional/psychological work. Can't really give any solid suggestions without knowing how your anxiety manifests itself, but you can't go wrong with meditation and good therapy (not pill pushers)

 

[blur]

Earlier in the thread a poster was talking about an "uncanny valley" effect when they see a mismatch of looks and personality. Is this actually a thing that people notice or think about? People don't seem to want to approach me or talk to me for long and I always thought it was because I'm a social retard (which is probably true regardless). I'm pretty tall and in good shape, but I've always been quiet and never had confidence cause I was fat growing up. I lost a lot of weight in my late teens and picked up more active hobbies like working out, cycling, hiking, martial arts, and yoga in my 20s, but I'm still just as quiet, shy, and socially anxious as I always was.

I don't know if it's related, but I've had a few people in my college social circles tell me they thought I hated them until we actually had a conversation at some party or event. I didn't think much about that until the third person said that to me. I always try to be nice and friendly to people, so don't know what I could be doing that's so off-putting.

bruh get a wingman. look for a guy that is confrontational and extroverted who will help you identify your problem areas and push you to correct them.

 

[Love Machine]

Do be that guy. If you're gonna go out you should get absolutely fucked, make bad choices, have fun, and not remember it the next day.

"Do it, just stick that gun in your mouth."