Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Wonder if he filled the air fryer with cooking oil and fucked it?
I can't say i'd be surprised if he did. That certainly sounds like something he would do. Just see the word 'fryer' and assume oil is involved. I can also see him trading it for a pot of noodles or some weed

That said, his parents got him an air fryer for his birthday, I wonder if that means the'll get him a toaster oven for christmas. That would be an exceptionally bad idea for everyone involved considering how he treated the one at the shelter. I'd bet money on him doing even less to clean and maintain it as he wouldn't have anyone telling him to do it and would end up starting a fire. I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if lucas burned down his apartment within a month of getting one of those things
 
I can't say i'd be surprised if he did. That certainly sounds like something he would do. Just see the word 'fryer' and assume oil is involved. I can also see him trading it for a pot of noodles or some weed

That said, his parents got him an air fryer for his birthday, I wonder if that means the'll get him a toaster oven for christmas. That would be an exceptionally bad idea for everyone involved considering how he treated the one at the shelter. I'd bet money on him doing even less to clean and maintain it as he wouldn't have anyone telling him to do it and would end up starting a fire. I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if lucas burned down his apartment within a month of getting one of those things
Yeah, I am surprised we have not seen pictures of the food he is making in the air fryer. I would sort of think he would not trade that for a pot of pasta, but I could be wrong on that. He likens himself to a celebrity chef and I figured a new cooking appliance would be something he would try to use immediately. Air fryers are useful and you can make a lot of the cheap foods in them, like pizza rolls and chicken nuggets quite easily. I could definitely see him ruining something like that in a hurry.

Most air fryers are not all that complicated to run. The analog ones are about the same as using a toaster oven. So, I would have thought Lucas would have gave it a go with some terrible cooking ideas. That would be something if Lucas ruined it the first time using it. Like filled it with vegetable oil or something. Even he would know better to share that with the world if he managed to ruin a small appliance on his first try.
 
Yeah, I am surprised we have not seen pictures of the food he is making in the air fryer. I would sort of think he would not trade that for a pot of pasta, but I could be wrong on that. He likens himself to a celebrity chef and I figured a new cooking appliance would be something he would try to use immediately. Air fryers are useful and you can make a lot of the cheap foods in them, like pizza rolls and chicken nuggets quite easily. I could definitely see him ruining something like that in a hurry.

Most air fryers are not all that complicated to run. The analog ones are about the same as using a toaster oven. So, I would have thought Lucas would have gave it a go with some terrible cooking ideas. That would be something if Lucas ruined it the first time using it. Like filled it with vegetable oil or something. Even he would know better to share that with the world if he managed to ruin a small appliance on his first try.
Yeah but Lucas has neither the intelligence, the competence or the patience to read anything on what to use it for, how to use it, what not to do to it and how to maintain it. Reading a few quick things on how to use this cooking appliance? Nah, The Wern doesn't need to know that. He's a know-it-all who's an excellent chef. To read such simple instructions and take that into consideration is an insult to him.
 
A lot of air fryers instruct you to run it once without any food just to clean it before the first use. I imagine he’d ignore that, so he probably ended up with a batch of pizza rolls that smelled like burnt plastic.
To be fair thats probably an improvement from the way his toasterbortions usually smell. He'd probably smell it, taste it and then say ooh it needs a cup of pepper and half a bottle of hot sauce

Regardless of what happened with it, something clearly did or he would have been showing it off by now
 
You keep telling yourself that buddy. I would love to be a fly on the wall of the his empty brain cavity trying to make sense of the logic he uses to come up with delusional shit like this.
1.png

He makes the shittiest fucking memes. No punchline, they don't follow the meme format, and they all have the same smug cadence.
2.png

Another look at his hilariously schizo board game entry. All the 'Number 23' Jim Carrey scribbles in the margins really add that authentic Wern touch.
3.png
 
You keep telling yourself that buddy. I would love to be a fly on the wall of the his empty brain cavity trying to make sense of the logic he uses to come up with delusional shit like this.
View attachment 5536930

He makes the shittiest fucking memes. No punchline, they don't follow the meme format, and they all have the same smug cadence.
View attachment 5536931

Another look at his hilariously schizo board game entry. All the 'Number 23' Jim Carrey scribbles in the margins really add that authentic Wern touch.
View attachment 5536932
Oh good, gen z is back on his radar. Maybe we will get some classic Wern screeching just in time for the holidays.
 
You keep telling yourself that buddy. I would love to be a fly on the wall of the his empty brain cavity trying to make sense of the logic he uses to come up with delusional shit like this.
View attachment 5536930

He makes the shittiest fucking memes. No punchline, they don't follow the meme format, and they all have the same smug cadence.
View attachment 5536931

Another look at his hilariously schizo board game entry. All the 'Number 23' Jim Carrey scribbles in the margins really add that authentic Wern touch.
View attachment 5536932
lol he can't even get basic science right. Matter can and frequently is destroyed and there are many instances where the laws of physics don't work the way they are expected or supposed to, which isn't understood. The laws of physics are not as iron clad as lucas seems to think

and holy shit his denial of reality is going into overdrive with his claims about zoomers there. There are plenty of reasons they are all judging him and none of them have anything to do with being an overweight atheist. Hell the fact he keeps going out of his way to say how he's an atheist constantly is yet another red flag that he isn't and its all part of his twisted war against religion because his god didn't give him what he wanted

and its peak lucas narcissism that he thinks that....thing he is trying to pass as a game is even a game let alone something thats going to be judged as anything but something a low IQ child made. No way he doesn't think its innovative and worth winning first place. He's probably already planning what he's going to do with the prize money. I'd laugh my ass off if the judges looked it over and then the event awarded him some kind of participation prize with a certificate congratulating him for the effort he put into his design as a special needs child in elementary school, cause everybody assumed it was sent in by a special needs kid in elementary school and not a man in his 40s. Lucas would go batshit if something like that happened to him
 
In regards to Lucas rules of science or gen Z he tries to speak from a position of authority, where he's more so demanding his statement than just putting it out.

If gen Z didn't mind fat anti Christians, there's other things he's single for.. but if you point out that he screens gen Z is socialist so it's not that he's poor. Gen Z isn't snobby so it's not he's dirty.

He keeps applying positive to him traits or statements than reality cancelled it out.

I think he's so socially alone he's too used to dealing with even slower people like homie Jamie or shrinks who are paid to play nice .

I really don't think he could even talk sports at this point. Like, he'd say his favorite team won despite a loss.. and then rage out if you disagreed fired up an ESPN app to show proof etc.

Dudes isolated as fuck and I don't say that out of pity because his behavior is why. Lots of tards are welcome with family, have friends etc.

Edit, funny enough i got invited to judge a local game jam (friends a pro play tester). Im so tempted next time to make one of my own and steal his names for the lulz.

Bassomatic winner of the year with cafeteria uprising and his 500 dollar prize. Yeah not at all gonna set Pukas off.
 
In regards to Lucas rules of science or gen Z he tries to speak from a position of authority, where he's more so demanding his statement than just putting it out.

If gen Z didn't mind fat anti Christians, there's other things he's single for.. but if you point out that he screens gen Z is socialist so it's not that he's poor. Gen Z isn't snobby so it's not he's dirty.

He keeps applying positive to him traits or statements than reality cancelled it out.

I think he's so socially alone he's too used to dealing with even slower people like homie Jamie or shrinks who are paid to play nice .

I really don't think he could even talk sports at this point. Like, he'd say his favorite team won despite a loss.. and then rage out if you disagreed fired up an ESPN app to show proof etc.

Dudes isolated as fuck and I don't say that out of pity because his behavior is why. Lots of tards are welcome with family, have friends etc.

Edit, funny enough i got invited to judge a local game jam (friends a pro play tester). Im so tempted next time to make one of my own and steal his names for the lulz.

Bassomatic winner of the year with cafeteria uprising and his 500 dollar prize. Yeah not at all gonna set Pukas off.
Lucas would go ballistic if you did that, and probably threaten another lawsuit like he did with starbucks, claiming the court would appoint a lawyer to sue for him. He'd be fuming about it for years afterwards. On the downside it would probably result in him twisting it around in his head to mean that he is somehow an award winning game designer who has had his genius recognized and credit stolen from him and double down on his pro game developer stuff, pumping out even crazier and more nonsensical ideas than ever before in some kind of manic state

That said, what you said about him losing his ability to deal with people even to the degree he used to makes alot of sense. Kind of like how people who spend long periods in prison tend to get institutionalized and have alot of difficulty functioning normally in society when they're released. and thats with normal people. With lucas I suspect this is even more the case given even at his best he is barely capable of dealing with people in anything resembling a normal manner and even himself admits he basically has to either observe people and how they interact to try and learn to mimic it, like a fucking T-800 or has to get someone to teach him things like proper behavior, what to say, what not to say and how to go about things in a manner that doesn't make people think he's completely mental. This is evidenced by his own words from his 2010 reflections:

I'd usually just walk off again and I'd see a girl I liked. Sit with her. The only thing I could think of to say was, "I love you." but all the guys I talked to about my girl troubles had warned me, "Never tell a girl you love her. She'll think you're weird and she won't like you." "Oh.. uh... okay, I" (I used to be embarrassed to say the world "but" because it sounded like "butt" and made me feel awkward.) "Guess, I'll..." That's where I hit a brick wall. Like I said, no confidence. Bashful. Took me awhile to figure out words like "Later" and "Peace" I think my younger brother taught me "Later" and my older brother taught me the word "Peace" so I frequently exchanged them. I also didn't know that after "Later" I could stand up, brush off my legs and walk away. "Peace" I could follow by a quick raised hand and by bobbing my head a little. It also gave me the liberty to skip my feet and not hear anyone laughing at me. After I learned these gestures and performed them, a quick phrase would enter my mind as clear as a bell. When it was "Later" and the brush off, it was always, "Dude what the fuck was that?" If it was "Peace" and the skip bounce I always thought, "God... found this girl named Gay today. Weird. Wonder what that was all about? Hmm." Apparently I had forgotten what my mom told me and shrugged it off. Sometimes I'd sneeze and say "Blah." In both cases I'd go about my merry way.

On reading that i'm even starting to wonder if lucas is so slow in the mind, as chris chan would say, that he ascribes an almost magical element to how he does these things while interacting with people. Look at the way he describes his words and deliberate gestures and how he waits for things to 'appear in his mind' to tell him what to do so he can do them. He then expects people to respond a certain way. If they do he continues on the conversation, otherwise he immediately gets confused and does a particular phrase or gesture to signal the end of the interaction and leaves in a very specific way. It comes off almost as if its playing out in the same transactional way he expects his other interactions to go. Only instead of 'I give you something you do something for me in return that I want' its 'I say or do a specific thing and you respond in a specific way I expect so I can follow along and understand and the conversation will go a certain way'

Even young children don't interact the way lucas describes. This is the kind of thing you only see in very, very unintelligent people with serious mental incapacities and frequently in autistics and some cluster B's who expect and need a certain level of order and things to go the way they expect them to or they can't deal with it and spaz out, which interestingly enough, is exactly what lucas tends to do when things go in a way he can't understand or deal with

That said, speaking of his reflections, its been 13 years since he wrote them, the same amount of time between the time he wrote them and the late 90s era with cyril and michelle he was writing about. Too bad lucas wouldn't do a post 2010 reflection that included his take on the starbucks incident, the pedo incidents, the LA saga and his hobo and kidney sagas. There is a hell of alot of things that would be worth hearing about that have happened since he wrote that first reflection piece
 
Last edited:
Not sure why I can't quote or reply to your last two posts Wino but god damnnn; I would genuinely pay good money for an auto-biography written by Wern about him learning how to sort of act like a human. Just that little passage you shared is fucking fascinating and hilarious. Was that bit you shared all there was? Or are there more "reflections" somewhere I can read?

Edit: I see why I can't reply or quote now. It's just when the posts reach a certain length.
 
Last edited:
Not sure why I can't quote or reply to your last two posts Wino but god damnnn; I would genuinely pay good money for an auto-biography written by Wern about him learning how to sort of act like a human. Just that little passage you shared is fucking fascinating and hilarious. Was that bit you shared all there was? Or are there more "reflections" somewhere I can read?

Edit: I see why I can't reply or quote now. It's just when the posts reach a certain length.
its this post hidden by a spoiler. Its got quite alot of info about his life in the late 90s
 
Not sure why I can't quote or reply to your last two posts Wino but god damnnn; I would genuinely pay good money for an auto-biography written by Wern about him learning how to sort of act like a human. Just that little passage you shared is fucking fascinating and hilarious. Was that bit you shared all there was? Or are there more "reflections" somewhere I can read?
To me this is a fascinating thing. You absolutely see the early forms of some of his later behavior here. The need to "pre-program" his thoughts/actions and the belief that if he just says some magic word or phrase that it leads to a predetermined outcome. To him, if he says or does X, people will respond with Y. Like some other cows Lucas freaks out when people don't follow his "script". He doesn't understand that humans don't behave that way, because they're human and having different feelings etc, and is totally incapable of reading social cues (similar to Crusty Rusty etc). It's robotic in a sense but one with completely faulty logic built on very little real world data that he then tries to extrapolate to the wider world.
 
To me this is a fascinating thing. You absolutely see the early forms of some of his later behavior here. The need to "pre-program" his thoughts/actions and the belief that if he just says some magic word or phrase that it leads to a predetermined outcome. To him, if he says or does X, people will respond with Y. Like some other cows Lucas freaks out when people don't follow his "script". He doesn't understand that humans don't behave that way, because they're human and having different feelings etc, and is totally incapable of reading social cues (similar to Crusty Rusty etc). It's robotic in a sense but one with completely faulty logic built on very little real world data that he then tries to extrapolate to the wider world.
Russtard and the Wern seem to have very similar brain malfunctions. They both expect reality to conform to the scripts they have in their heads, they both see human relationships (romantic or otherwise) as completely transactional, they are both entitled sex creeps and they have both developed this persecution complex because they are completely unable to understand that their misfortunes in life are due to their appalling behaviour.

The only real difference is that Russtard is slightly smarter than Lucas, which makes him much more dangerous.
 
He makes the shittiest fucking memes. No punchline, they don't follow the meme format, and they all have the same smug cadence.
guess they're also still like this older parody:

LONGER TELOMERES MEANS BETTER GENETICS

[unrelated photo of gross-looking mashed potatoes flooded with pepper]

PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER
CONVERSATIONS OF CURRENT YEAR

Also the board games he makes up look overthought, or complicated for the sake of being complicated.
 
Also the board games he makes up look overthought, or complicated for the sake of being complicated.
ever notice that his boardgames always lack a narrative? they have a title and he attempts to put together a "theme" like pedo dancing soda thing, or food fight, or some weird Carcassonne rip off with tractors, but there's never a premise for an in-universe story that is gamified for participation. Carcassonne is a boardgame version of medieval expansion of walled cities among pastoral French countryside during the 1200s through 1300s. Monopoly is a play on early 1900's US economics that demonstrates that wealth begets wealth. all this besides actual licensed properties like an Aliens boardgame or Gundam Wing boardgame, et c.

it comes off that not only is Lucas fixated on obscure and complex rules, but those rules are set in a universe of his own interpretation that isn't explained and come off as arbitrary and nonsensical to the uninitiated. similar games that have no real narrative structure (Chess, Rummikub, fucking Jenga, et c) tend to have simpler, consistent rules with evolving gameplay that becomes more complex over the course of the game.
 
ever notice that his boardgames always lack a narrative?
I think it really is best if complex games have a story to them (like "Twilight Imperium" or the boardgame of "Civilization") while "flexible" or "non-story" games (like Checkers, Tic-Tac-Toe, or Go) are best as simple games. Looks like "Wernergames" use systems that sound like something I could come up with while delirious with a fever.
 
Last edited:
Russtard and the Wern seem to have very similar brain malfunctions. They both expect reality to conform to the scripts they have in their heads, they both see human relationships (romantic or otherwise) as completely transactional, they are both entitled sex creeps and they have both developed this persecution complex because they are completely unable to understand that their misfortunes in life are due to their appalling behaviour.

The only real difference is that Russtard is slightly smarter than Lucas, which makes him much more dangerous.
Agreed. They're from the "I give you X (attention, a venmo dollar, a compliment, dinner once a month at a fancy restaurant) and therefore you're obligated by the rules to give me Y" school. Neither care about anything/anyone other than themselves and are perpetual victims. I also agree that Russ is a little smarter and while he doesn't have Lucas' likely weight/size advantage over women (or his DV convictions), he's no less dangerous considering his restraining orders and harassment patterns.
 
Back