- Joined
- Dec 23, 2022
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
What the fuck? Did his dentist shoot him up with demerol or something?
Somehow he manages to squeeze food into the game (french toast galaxy), squeeze even more bizarre 'democracy' into it in ways that neither make sense nor are relevant, include another 'dance of the telomeres' style dance (poorly disguised as a classy ball in this 'game') and even manages to go full incel with an appointed wife - except instead of the usual government assigning the incel a wife this government has the people elect one for him. Because democracy. Because he totally thinks that somehow comes off less incel like
Sometimes its not about women. Sometimes its about board games about men and women in a ballroom seeking the other
......In other words its about women. Its also a poorly disguised rehash of the dance of the telomeres game with high school kids
and of course he manages to turn his food fetish into not only a game concept but another rant about french toast and jesus. Unsurprisingly he brings up his birthday in a way that is completely nonsensical and has no practical reason to bring up and means literally nothing, just to show how greedy and obsessed he is with people giving him more money (someone did give him $20 apparently) I wonder how long it'll be before he starts on the christmas stuff. His parents should fuck with him by sending him a christmas card that says they would have invited him over for christmas for a big family meal and a few months at home but since he can't afford to travel he's just getting a card instead. Maybe next year if he gets a job and saves up for it. He'd lose his shit big time over that
and lucas has a great idea with the wife election. People should elect him a wife. Make it a 50 year old bearded troon who hates pedos. I'm sure lucas would be very happy about that. Be careful what you wish for there lucas
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2019
“Every 3 and a half weeks the galaxy travels a lightyear.”
Uhhh you sure about that big guy? Because it takes light a full year to travel a lightyear. I didn’t bother to google it, but I’m reasonably certain this is completely retarded.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2020
My brain hurts. I hate it here. Why french toast???
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Because lucas's tiny little swiss cheese chunk of a brain always circles back to food no matter what the topic happens to be, but especially where women and sex are involved. He clearly has some kind of food fetish. Everything he does is tied into women and sex on some pathological level. Even to the point of admitting that when he was doped to the gills at the nuthouse during his first major psychotic break and was reduced to a zombie that pissed on bushes, shit himself and took someone calling his name several times for him to realize he was being addressed and respond, he always responded immediately to food, or 'treats' as he put it in his reflections, as if he was a beaten down dog. Why french toast specifically is anyones guess. I'm not really sure why he chose that as french toast is shaped like....toast. Not really what you'd expect a galaxy to be shaped like at all
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2015
The Internet is filled with strange things but the fact Lucas sexualized French toast just makes me feel uncomfortable.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Well I suppose it could have been worse. He could have sexualized eggs in the basket instead. and we know where his brain would immediately go with that one
On that note I suspect its never a good idea to accept creamed eggs on toast from lucas, or SOS
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
Or ANY food item, really.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2021
I know this was somewhat covered above, but EVERY ONE of his board games is exactly like the others in terms of topics, game mechanics, and visually. They only vary in the smallest possible ways. I understand that sometimes you work through iterations of an idea (and therefore there are a lot of similarities) but this isn't that. It's repetition with any evolution, change, or reason behind it because that's literally all he an come up with even though he literally has ALL day EVERY day to work on this stuff.
- Joined
- May 15, 2020
Now that you've said this, I am wondering if the Wern's phone is filled with pictures/videos of food but with the rule 34 treatment.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Yeah I wouldn't be surprised if he has a few pics of extra creamy mac & cheese, some french toast sticks dipped in ranch dressing and olive oil and gingerbread zoomer baes with questionable 'homemade icing' and bites taken out of them in odd places. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if lucas made a gingerbread elk kingdom with the heads, arms and legs bitten off his gingerbread family members and gingerbread lucas and gingerbread zoomer bae tucked away in the house surrounded by chocolates and candies on a big gingerbread bedNow that you've said this, I am wondering if the Wern's phone is filled with pictures/videos of food but with the rule 34 treatment.
a couple pics of creamy martinis he made himself at the local clubs would explain alot about why he got banned as well
not in the cards
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 1, 2023
Don't forget the gingerbread children. He'd have an abundance of those.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
What is going on with Lolcow, Lucas Werner? Has he not been moooing lately? I haven't seen any updates from him as of late. I know sometimes he will go radio silent and we all wonder if he got thrown in the funny farm or jail. Anyone seen anything from Dr. Nigger Luke, the Cute Older Daddy?
Todd Weiss
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2019
He might've had his hand slapped for non-compliance. A case manager could visit, do a pill count, find out he's been skipping doses & Baker Act his ass.
Concerned parents would breathe a sigh of relief — not ol' Lukes, mind you, but the surrounding neighborhood's.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
The Brokeposting Page finally put up a new post from the cow. Lucas is back on thinking all the attractive young women are Christians. If only Lucas would learn some scriptures. What a cow 
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WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
At this rate, when someone writes a biography of all the lolcows his chapter will be titled cockblocked by jesus: the lucas werner story - one mans struggle against ageism and flatbill christ
Doesn't stop him from living in christian shelters and eating free christian food while acting like he's ripping them off to spit christians though
Doesn't stop him from living in christian shelters and eating free christian food while acting like he's ripping them off to spit christians though
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Poor Lucas. He hates God so much he's been zapped with permavirgin lightning.The Brokeposting Page finally put up a new post from the cow. Lucas is back on thinking all the attractive young women are Christians. If only Lucas would learn some scriptures. What a cow
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Could be worse, god could have fucked with him by telling him he'll get his zoomer bae but has to walk home through the streets of spokane without looking at her, or she'll be turned into a pillar of salt. Though lucas wouldn't mind so much if it was a pillar of pepper cause he'd collect it for his next toasterbortion creation
Perhaps god should do something worse - tell him if he looks at her before he gets back to mallon place she'll be replaced with a slaton sister......and then do it anyway just to piss him off for hating on the christians
Or an even worse curse, provide him with a zoomer bae that has the same habits and same mental problems he does and who smells just as bad and gains weight rapidly no matter what she eats. Lucas getting what he wants only for it to turn into living with a female version of himself that forces him into the hell of living with himself would be the kind of divine retribution lucas has coming to him
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2022
This pic sum up literally every single thing he's said for the last 6 months at least. Just these same posts but worded slightly different.
Also, here's a new creepy ass profile pic.
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2022
Theologian Lucas is so boring. Why can't he go back to screaming in the streets about bigots and zoomer puss puss